Steve
Steve repeats her words often. To Morgan, cheeseburger wrappers and ketchup stains on her cheeks. She understands more than she lets on, Steve knows. He was once in her shoes.
To Cassie, whenever she's been staring at her dad for minutes and he knows that she's thinking about how five years is too long. To Cooper and Lila, who clam up whenever Nathaniel asks when Aunt Nat is coming to visit. To Clint when he reaches for a a third glass and Steve knows that he's got a high tolerance, but he doesn't need to forget. To Peter, when he joins a fight and there isn't anyone to stop him.
We are avengers, he tells them. Wipes their tears, clasps their shoulders, shakes them back to reality. He is the Captain. Their Captain.
Some move on. He reminds them. He can see her in his dreams sometimes. The vibrant, dangerous Natasha of his past morphs into the grieving woman. He reaches for her, for reassurance, for something. It always ends with him awake and alone. Sam and Bucky try to help, but they too are hurting. All they can do it mourn.
Maybe this is what drives him to volunteer to take the stones back. He can't get that image of her out of his head. The grieving woman who'd lost half of her family. Her voice, whispering to him of their failure to get a life. They both failed go after their desires, they both failed to keep what they loved most. Even now, he hears her. "Some move on…" Natasha goads him. She takes on new life in this dream. Her eyes gleam with water that Steve can recognize anywhere. She's waiting for him to finish her sentence, to prove that some family value is still held. To prove that he's still Steve.
For the first time, he pulls himself out of the dream. It's still dark out. Steve bundles the blankets up to his chin and listens to the sound of Sam and Bucky's breathing nearby. They'd taken to sleeping in piles around each other. Sam and Bucky usually played it off as a joke, racing each other to the best spot on the couch. They all knew it meant more than that when the nightmares started.
He wished she could be there. To see that it's not too late to start living. That they could rebuild, could start fresh in a world without Thanos. He hates wishing. It's hard to take his own advice.
Steve exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair. "But not us." He whispers and waits.
She doesn't smile back.
