Hello, there! So some of you are probably wondering if I will ever update Hello Halcyon Days, right? Well, I'm working on it as I finish this one-shot. I'm 800 words in, and I'm hoping that the contents of the chapter will be a good apology for making you all wait so long. You all will be the judge of that, though. Anyways, enjoy!
"I'm sorry."
You glance up from the tv screen, your finger hovering over the x button.
"For what?" You ask before you select your character. "For beating me?" You ask incredulously as she remains silent. "I'm a big boy, Tatsuki. I'm not going to cry over losing."
She is silent as she starts fidgeting with her controller while the Tekken character selection screen still stays on the screen.
"You know, you used to cry each time I beat you," she says quietly as she looks down.
You scowl.
"Yeah, when I was a kid," you comment dryly. "Why are you bringing up the past, anyways?"
She looks uncomfortable.
"I don't know," she admits.
You frown as you look at the controller in your hand. You are confused by her response, by the sudden melancholy atmosphere. She never gets this way. Although she is your oldest friend, she never talks about the past, at least not to you. It's an unspoken agreement between the two of you. To live in the present, to think about the future, and to avoid the past.
"It's just…I-I'm sorry," she repeats.
You frown even more.
"You have nothing to apologize for," you tell her.
"I do," she insists. "I should've…tried harder."
It's vague. So vague, and her sentence could mean anything, but you already know what she's talking about. Maybe it's because you two have known each other for so long. Maybe it's because you two could always understand each other with so little words. Maybe it's in the way she says it. The way the misplaced guilt clings to every word.
"It…it wasn't your job, Tatsuki."
"But it was!" She protests loudly, so loud that your head turns to her in surprise, but she is looking out her window. "It was," she says quieter. "I was your best friend."
You sigh. You want to tell her that she still is one of your best friends. You want to tell her that she's being crazy, but when you open your mouth to tell her, you can't. Because she's squeezing her controller so hard in her hands. Like she's in so much pain. Pain over you and the past.
"I don't blame you, Tatsuki. I left you first, remember?"
She shakes her head.
"I should have tried harder to be there for you. Even when you didn't want me there, I should've stayed by your side. No matter what, I should've stayed."
"I-I didn't want that, Tatsuki. I just…I just wanted to be alone," you confess.
"But!"
"But nothing. It's the truth. I couldn't handle it. After…after it happened, I just wanted to repress the hurt, and when you were there, it was harder to do. I couldn't take it, so…I pushed you away."
She remains quiet again. You think that maybe your admission has hurt her in the way that you hadn't intended. You sigh again.
"I'm glad I did," you remark. Her head snaps in your direction, and she has tears in her eyes. You can't really remember the last time she cried. Maybe it was when Inoue returned after Hueco Mundo. Maybe it was at your mother's funeral.
It hurts you just the same.
"I'm glad you left me, Tatsuki. Because there was someone else who needed you more."
Her eyes widen before she ducks her head. You think you see tears on her checks.
She knows who you are talking about. It's the girl that you both cherish, the girl that you would both gladly die to protect, the girl whose smile changed both of you.
"I'm fine, Tatsuki. I turned out okay without you." At this, she flinches. "Could you say the same about her? If she didn't have you, do you think she would've been okay?"
You her a sniffle.
"If you could only have saved one of us, Tatsuki, I'm glad it was her," you move your head to stare at her. She feels your gaze because she looks into your eyes. "I'm…grateful it was her," you emphasize.
At this, her face scrunches up as her tears fall freely. Tears that you feel have been held in for too long, tears that she shouldn't have shed in the first place. She shouldn't have felt so responsible, so guilty.
You briefly wonder if she saw you in Inoue when they first met. You wonder if she helped Inoue because she felt that she let you down, and she didn't want to repeat the same mistake twice, but the answer doesn't matter, though. As long as the results remained the same, you don't care what Tatsuki saw when she held out a hand for Inoue. Because you remember how destroyed Inoue was when she lost everything. You saw her pain, and you are so thankful that Tatsuki did as well.
Your words of appreciation that you are about to say to her are cut off as a storm of energy enters the room. You hear a squeal of Tatsuki's name reach your ears before a blur of motion passes you to latch onto your dark-haired friend. You don't even mind when the smiling girl forgets to greet you.
"You didn't fail me, Tatsuki," you tell her as you watch the two of them hug each other. She locks eyes with you over Inoue's shoulder. "You didn't."
This time, before her tears can fall, she buries her face into Inoue's hair, and you see her clutch her friend harder.
You hope she gets your meaning. You hope that she finally understands. You hope she realizes that by saving Inoue, she saved you. And you think that she does because you can hear a muffled "thank you" coming in their direction.
And you think she finally remembers that before she was ever Inoue's dragon, she was yours.
