Author's Note: Recess characters don't belong to me but the story does! Enjoy :)


A vase shattered on the carpet, its porcelain pieces spreading across the arguing couple. It had once been a beautiful creation, a shining example of the success Ashley Spinelli had become, despite what others thought. Now it was just a broken object that didn't matter much in the scheme of things.

She wasn't sure which of them had thrown it. Maybe neither had. Maybe it just fell from the top of the fireplace, committing suicide. Maybe it hoped to distract the pair long enough to draw them out of their haze of rage. Yet it wasn't that simple. You couldn't just turn off your anger like that. At least, Ashley couldn't. She had always been abrasive, especially in her younger years. Now, twenty-five and a successful business woman, she still snapped when the smallest thing angered her. Her partner was no better though.

Lawson didn't seem to care about the porcelain near his socked feet. He stepped forward, his hot breath blurring her vision, and just stared at her, his words he had spoken a moment before still lingering in the air.

Maybe this was a mistake.

A mistake? What mistake, moving in together? Or was he talking about his feelings, something he rarely mentioned? Had it been a mistake to fall in love with her?

No, how dare he say it was a mistake! Hadn't she worked so hard to make this work? She had moved things around, stored parts of her life in the closet to make room for him, hadn't she remodeled the kitchen so he could have a place to cook the meals? Well, the last one they had done together on Valentine's Day but it didn't matter. She had done all she could to show him that this was right. Why did he still doubt her?

She had loved him since she was five and he six, but back then you told someone you cared by pushing them into the sandbox, and that's what she did. He would push back, and it would end in Ms. Finster having to separate them and give them time outs. Yet they continued to antagonize each other as the years past, fully taking on the punishment they would be handed at the end. Because how else did you tell someone you loved them in elementary school?

Middle school was different. They started to become actual people instead of just the animals they imagined themselves to be. She renewed her interest in the arts while he took up cooking, despite his friend's torments. Even she bugged him about it back then, but it was still her way of saying "I like you". That didn't change still the end of middle school over the summer. He had borrowed his brother's pick-up and they decided to share a box of twinkies and some champagne she had stolen from her parent's liquor cabinet. He preferred beer, having had a taste of the stuff thanks to his brother, but took a few sips anyway just to make her happy. They didn't say it, but they knew they liked each other. After that, she didn't make jabs about his cooking and he didn't call her "Spil-loser" or any other crude names.

She knew he would never fully comprehend why she liked him, or loved him for that matter. Half the time it didn't make sense to her either. Why, she knew if she called up TJ, he would date her without hesitation. In other words, Lawson knew she could do better. What he didn't know was she thought he was the best for her. And in most ways, he was. They were emotionally driven people. They fought fiercely and made up passionately. It was how they worked. Ashley would yell because he had left his dirty underwear lying next to the hamper again and five minutes later she was pressed against the back of their bedroom door, her bra being undone by his lean fingers.

Ashley knew deep down that he was the only person she could ever love as much as she did. Yet she also knew that sometimes you can love a person but not be with them. And in that moment, with the vase still lying pathetically between them, she thought that maybe that was what was going to happen to them. Maybe Lawson was right.

Maybe this was a mistake.

When this realization hit her, she gasped, like she was choking, drowning, and her mouth hung open, no words coming out. Ashley gazed up at Lawson, wanting to desperately feel his copper hair beneath her fingers, to hold onto him tightly, to take back the words she hadn't meant to say and say the things she should have. But she couldn't.

It was too late.

The young woman's hands that had been balled up in fists suddenly released their tight grip and hung limp, her sign of defeat. She gave him one last look before grabbing her purse, slipping on her runners, and headed out the door without a word. She left her keys on the hook.

At first she didn't know where to go. She only had a couple of dollars on her minus the credit card which she really didn't want to use, she had left her jacket in the house with him and she doubted any of her friends were available at the time to take care of her.

What was she saying? Ashley didn't need anyone to look after her, she was independent! With that, the young woman headed to the closest transit station and bought a round trip ticket. She was guaranteed to see nature at its finest. She was told the trip would be at least a week long adventure, if not more, and that was perfectly fine with her.

She didn't care about her nine to five job awaiting her the very next day. She didn't care about Lawson still in her house. Heck, she didn't think she would even return there. She could buy a new life, a new identity. She could become whomever she wanted and this new person certainly wouldn't need a man like Lawson telling her lies.

But it hadn't all been lies. He had loved her, maybe he still did, but he certainly had loved her once. It seemed so long ago now, but Ashley remembered every memory vividly. As she piled onto the bus, squished beside a snoring gent of fifty plus, her relationship with Lawson flashed before her eyes.

Lawson snuck into her bedroom through the window and left her a daisy on her dresser with a note that said "be mine" in ninth grade.

They went skinny dipping at the lake while their parents slept a couple of blocks away in their shared cabin two summers later. That night was the first time they made love in the bed of his truck.

She went to community college, he to culinary school the next state over. She sent a scrapbook of them so he wouldn't forget. They Skyped every night and he mailed her love letters like her grandpa had done for her grandma.

When he returned for Christmas break, he surprised her at work and they shared a kiss in front of all her coworkers. She hadn't even noticed they were there.

They took kick boxing lessons together over their second summer off of school, mainly because Lawson wanted her to be able to defend herself properly and Ashley refused to learn alone.

The time they redid her kitchen. She painted their initials on a tile and stuccoed it directly behind the tap so she could look at it whenever she was on dish duty.

The way Lawson's arms instinctively wrapped around her when they were sleeping beside each other. He would pull her back against his chest and press a kiss to her neck before falling asleep. Once he was, she would turn in his arms and curl up against his chest. She couldn't sleep any other way.

These things, these moments in her life, she couldn't forget, couldn't regret them no matter how beneficial it would be. She loved Lawson. He was the man she was going to fight with, but she would build a life with him, marry him, have children with him, and create a life that she had secretly always wanted to have. He was the only person she could do that with. It wasn't an option to have someone else's image where Lawson should be.

I have to get off this bus.

Ashley clung to her purse as she pushed her way to the front of the bus.

I have to get off this bus.

The bus driver looked at her like she was crazy.

I have to get off this bus.

He pulled over at the closest gas station and wished her luck. She found the first person with a car who seemed reasonable enough and not a psychopath then told him where she lived. It would be an hour long drive, but she didn't care.

This was not a mistake.

Sooner than Ashley expected, she was let out in front of her two story town house. All the lights were off inside and the streetlamps were buzzing loudly in her ears. He had to be there. He had to be.

She began pounding on the door, calling his name repeatedly. It began to rain but Ashley didn't notice. She kept banging her fist against the pine door, yelling for Lawson until her voice was raw.

At last, the door opened and there stood Lawson, appearing shocked to see her. He was still wearing jeans and the plaid shirt from before but he smelt like spaghetti, her favourite meal. Ashley nearly burst into tears right then.

"I don't care if you think we're a mistake," she said, her voice cracking, "because I know we're not. I just got on a bus and tried to run. I tried to forget you, but you know what happened? I sat there and all I could do was think about you and how much I don't want to lose you." Ashley stepped forward, her legs shaking but she did not back down. She was not giving up.

"I love you Lawson. I love how we fight all the time over stupid things and how our relationship is crazy and loud because that's who we are and I couldn't do this without you. I wouldn't be me without you. So don't tell me we're not meant to be together or that loving me is a mistake. Because loving you is the best thing I've done with my life." She was about to say more but Lawson shut her up with a kiss.

Ashley instinctively laced her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, cherishing how warm he was and how right it felt to be with him like this. Lawson retracted first, his breath once more steaming her face. She didn't mind so much this time around.

"Want to go vase shopping tomorrow?" She almost didn't hear him. Ashley's eyes flickered open and she nodded readily, knowing this was his way of apologizing.

"Yeah, sure." Lawson smiled and weaved their fingers together, leading her inside.

"I made your favourite for dinner. And I did the laundry. Your pyjamas are on the bed," he added, kissing her once more before directing her up the staircase to their bedroom while he worked on finishing dinner. He had a tendency to do housework after a fight so Ashley wasn't surprised, merely grateful that she had turned around when she did.

They may not have been one of the most calming of couples, but as the saying went, Ashley would rather fight with Lawson than kiss another.


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