The pain felt like it was chewing out his eyeballs from behind.

He could live with this.

He'd survived until now, he could live with this.

The lights were too bright but he could live with them, too. There wasn't really an option to turn them all the way off on the screen, anyway.

"…sir? Sir?"

Finally he looked over. He had the distinct feeling that Zethrid had been trying to get his attention far longer than he'd been aware of it.

"What is it?"

That wasn't supposed to sound so harsh.

"Are you all right, sir?"

"Yes, Zethrid, I'm fine."

"Not gonna lie, though, you look pretty terrible," Ezor said from the other side.

"I'm busy."

"Look at that, suddenly 'busy' and 'terrible' can't happen at the same time!" Ezor chortled pointedly in Zethrid's direction.

"Please, I'm not in the mood for this right now," Lotor grumbled.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Zethrid said. He felt her hand on his face. "You're running a fever."

"I'm fine," he said with barely a growl.

"Sir, I really think you should take a break."

He could hear it in her voice that she was worried about him.

He hated worrying her.

He hated worrying any of them.

"I'll live."

"Please, sir–"

"Zethrid, he can make his own decisions," Acxa said sharply.

"Well, I can make my own suggestions!" Zethrid growled back.

"Quiet. Both of you," Lotor said. They shut up immediately.

"Maybe you really SHOULD take a nap, hon," Ezor said in a hushed voice.

"Not a good time."

There was never a good time. They slept in shifts, they were ready to abandon ship at a moment's notice.

He moved on to the next console when his legs decided they'd give up on him. He didn't catch himself on Narti so much as she caught HIM.

Even Acxa looked worried now. He really hated it when that happened.

"Kid," Zethrid said to him. "You're going to bed."


Acxa promised she would pick up the slack but he could tell she was doubting the truth of that statement. To shake Acxa was to have failed her. It took a lot to get her genuinely upset.

By the time Ezor and Zethrid led him away, she was already focused on his previous task. That was what love from Acxa looked like.


He was cold but Zethrid wouldn't let him have another blanket.

"I can feel you burning from here, we're not gonna burn you all the way to death."

She gave him some water and a dose of something. Two doses, actually.

They didn't stock a lot of medication on the ship.

"Just worry about getting better, okay?"

He was worried about more than that. So was she. But she tucked him in and brushed his hair aside and kissed him on the forehead.

"Do you want me to stay here?"

"Do whatever you want," he said.

Of course he wanted her to stay there.

And for a while, she did.


Ezor poked her head in a little bit later.

"Is she gone?"

She darted in with another blanket.

"Screw what Zethrid says, I want you to feel better."

He would have smiled if he didn't feel like shit.

She draped the second blanket over him. And gently, she tousled his hair.

"Anything else you need? Cuz you know which one of us is actually going to GET it for you."

"No," he said. "I'm fine."

The phrase was such a reflex at this point. He WASN'T fine. But being not fine was standard practice; some things couldn't wait. Most things couldn't wait. The universe had teeth and they gripped tighter around his neck every moment.

Fine or not fine, you had to fight it.

When he fell asleep, he was thinking of something from a very long time ago, back before 'not fine' had become the norm.


He didn't know how much later it was when he awoke. He didn't even register for the first several moments another body on the bed.

When he stirred, it got closer and started purring.

Kova.

He was too tired to reach out to him now. But Kova didn't ask for any attention, he just purred and purred. It was comforting, in its way. Like a musical vibration. Like love.

It could almost make you think you were safe.

Kova was a good creature. It was impossible to deserve a companion like him.

And Narti as well.