The smell of hospital traveled its way into her sensitive nostrils. The smell alone made her want to puke, but now, with the people on stretchers zooming by, her throat closed up. The beeping of machines and calls for nurses made her body tense greatly. She tapped her fingers on the sides of the chair and ignored her growling stomach, not wanting to leave her spot.
An opening and closing of a door was heard and a doctor stepped out of the room.
The doctor walked towards her and she gripped onto the side of the waiting chair, hoping that he wasn't looking for a family member of a Mr. Goldsworthy. The doctor had a pity frown on his face and her stomach went cold. She knew that face. She had seen that expression multiple of times and it scared the living daylights out of her. He walked closer and right when the doctor was turning to face her, he swerved and went over to the family that was seated a few seats down.
A sigh of relief flew out of her mouth and she placed her small, shaking hands on her pertruding stomach as she watched family members being told that their brother and son had died. She watched the family fall apart, one by one. Some collapsed to the floor, sobbing, unable to control their pain. Some left, unable to look anyone in the face. But she couldn't help but notice that everyone in the family was there. The second cousins, the grandparents, everyone. And she could help but notice that she was alone. Waiting for him.
(She felt disgusting for thinking this, but she couldn't help but be thankful that it wasn't Eli who had died.)
Clare had been in this position before with Eli. In fact, she was there so often that the chair that she was sitting in was her chair. She sat in it every time that something like this happened. She had even scratched her name in the wood with a pin. The chair, for some reason gave her a comfort and she couldn't really explain why.
Maybe it was because it was something in her life that would always be there. It was something that was stable.
She needed that and she found it in a hospital chair.
She knew that there was something wrong with that picture.
She tossed her head back and looked at the ceiling lights, trying to lose herself in something, but failing greatly.
Clare then felt the being inside of her kick slightly and she put her hand on that spot, trying to find comfort in the overly clean white room. She patted her stomach lightly and breathed deeply, trying to get the butterflies out of her stomach. She had heard somewhere that a lot of stress was bad for babies and she hoped that her child couldn't feel the panic that she felt.
"Are you...Clare Edwards?" A voice asked, taking her out of her thoughts. Her head snapped up and she looked at the doctor in front of her, her fingers shaking.
She cleared her dry and sore throat, "Yes. That's me." Her body was shaking and her breathing was fast and unsteady.
"Elijah Goldsworthy would like to see you."
A spark of light came over her face and a small smile splashed across her lips. Her body relaxed a little bit and the butterflies in her stomach flew away.
"But the wounds were pretty bad. You're lucky that you found him when you did. A little bit longer and he wouldn't have made it." The doctor explained.
Clare nodded, not realizing how serious the wounds were.
"It's room 225."
Clare sat up slowly and started to walk down the hall, lost in her thoughts. Her shoes squeaked lighlty on the waxed tiled floor, but she didn't notice.
Clare couldn't help but feel guilt seeping into her stomach. Surely she could have done something. Surely she could have saved him from himself. People had thought him to be complex and different, but he was like everyone else. He just wanted to be cared and loved for. He just wanted someone to take him in when he was feeling lonely and angry. And Clare thought that she was doing that.
But every time that this happened, it was like a wake up call.
Maybe she wasn't helping him...
It's hard to realize that you can't save someone. It's hard to realize that you can't help them as much as you thought you could. In fact, it's like a stab in the gut when you realized that you can't save the one you love. All you want to do is make them happy and to rescue them from the demons.
And Clare was just starting to realize that you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, even if you love them with all your heart.
She now stood outside of the room and she was unable to go in. Something wouldn't allow her to. A feeling and emotion was pulsing in her body, making her blood boil. Her body was now shaking, not from being worried, but from being angry. She was angry that he had tried to kill himself. She was angry that it was almost too late. She was angry that she no control over the situation.
She was frustrated and angry at everything.
But the thing that got her the most was that they had made a baby together. He really, not that she didn't, wanted to keep it. Eli had told her that he wanted her to stay home and that he would work. She had went along with it, but now, she wished that she hadn't.
He could have died.
He tried to kill himself.
They weren't teenagers anymore. They were going to be parents. Clare was already three months along and what she and the baby need most is stability. They both needed someone that would always be there and would never leave. And Eli wasn't stable. He couldn't take care of himself, so how could he take care of another human being? These questions zoomed around in Clare's head and she realized that she was only seeing what she wanted to see. She wanted to see Eli happy. She wanted to see him making it through life without a sitch.
But really, she was now understanding that what she wanted wasn't happening.
She took a deep breath and realized that she had to tell him this. He had to understand that she and the child needed him. He needed to understand that he needed help, or she couldn't stay with him.
Clare squared her shoulders and opened up the door with confidence, making the black- haired young man open his eyes.
Time stopped and they looked at each other, neither wanting to speak first.
"Hey."
I am so sorry that this sucks. I will probably end up deleting this and making this much better. I hate it more than anything that I've ever written. It was supposed to be so much better.
Anyway, review?
One-shot.
