Yes! I'm back! Full swing. This is my third attempt at writing a fanfic, and I promise I won't delete the story this time. As long as you guys review review review, I won't go anywhere.

I've had this idea in mind for a very long time, so I'm deciding to finally do something about it. This may make some readers uncomfortable, so please read the warning before you continue.

Summary: Santana was a regular girl with regular friends who stopped believing in love after her parents' divorce. That all changed when her father started dating a younger woman. Who is she? And why is her laugh the most infectious sound Santana's ever heard?

Warning: Incest, age difference, foul language.

Pairings: Quinntana, Brittana friendship, Pucktana.


There was something so plain and something so boring about her high school. Santana could never quite put her finger on it, but from the moment she stepped into the school, she immediately felt on edge. She had no reason to. Santana was one of the most, if not the most popular girl in school. With her red and white Cheerio uniform, she captured everyones attention and knocked down everyone's self esteem.

Santana didn't necessarily try to be a bitch, it just sort of came off that way. Her confidence was slightly overbearing and got misunderstood for arrogance.

She was raised in a good family. Her mom got pregnant at 25 with the love of her life; Santana's dad. Their love was a fairytale. Met at 17, married at 21, pregnant by 25. From the stories Santana has heard, she didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as her dad loved her mom. The Latina always promised herself that when she fell in love, she would make sure it was as powerful as her parents love was.

But that's the thing about love: it's the most unexpected and uncontrollable thing you'll ever encounter. Love is a passionate, yet vague term. People use the word hundreds of times a day that it's lost all its accountability and meaning. For example, you love the new computer you got for your birthday, you love the weather a particular day, you love the new movie that came out, you love the newest TV series, you love your pet, you love your mom, you love your boyfriend or you love the most unhealthy food of them all. And no matter how passionate or how strong that love once was, it all fades. It all ends.

And so did her parents.

Santana was 12 when her parents got divorced. Looking back, she should have seen the signs, but at the time, it was a complete shock. From what she knew, her parents were as in love as they were on their wedding day. But of course, when the lights went out, and their daughter when to bed, the adults fought like lions. They couldn't agree on the simplest of things and eventually, the bigger things were impacted as well.

Love.

It's a funny term because it never lasts.

Santana learned that a long time ago. There is no such thing as love. If there was, why did her parents, who were perfect for each other, drift apart? Why did they stop believing in the power and strength of their love? Why did they need to tear down everything they spent years creating?

She's 16 years old now and she's still never forgotten how painful it was to see her mom pack up her things and leave. She said she needed to go, that space was the best thing for them. At 12 years old, Santana's mother looked her in the eye and promised her that everything would be okay.

She lied.

That day, when Santana's mother left, she never saw her again. Maria packed up all of her things and left. She left her ex husband who was between jobs to raise a 12 year old girl who didn't understand why love failed sometimes. She left her family to fend for themselves. And because of that, Santana would never forgive her.

It's been 4 years since her mother left, and 4 years since they last spoke. It's been 4 years since Maria looked her daughter in the eye and promised her something that she broke within minutes. It's been 4 years since Santana's fairytale of love crashed and burned. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Maybe that's why she hated her school. Maybe it was because every kid she passed in the halls wasn't struggling like she was. Maybe it was because those boys and girls she saw holding hands didn't realize the tragedy waiting for them. Maybe it was because every person who thought they were experiencing young love were just experiencing a lie.

Santana knew better than to believe in that again.

On the inside, Santana struggled. She never allowed herself to get too attached to anyone, she never allowed herself to even consider the possibility of love, and she never said kind words to someone who didn't deserve it.

She had friends. As a cheerleader, having friends is sort of a requirement. You can't be a cheerleader if you're not popular. You can't be a cheerleader if you don't have friends, and you can't be a cheerleader if you don't make others feel worse about themselves.

But her best friend was her dad. He was the only one that understood.

On the outside, however, she was a strong, confident, and sexually active teenager. Those who knew her, knew that she was… friendly. She was the girl that lost her virginity on the first day of high school. She was the girl that had to go to the clinic to make sure she didn't have any STD's. She was the girl who was throwing her life away.

So Santana liked sex? Who cares? Sex was a distraction. Sex was cardio. Sex took her mind off of the fact that everything good ends. It was her therapy.

It's not like she was going around and sleeping with every guy she laid eyes on. In fact, Santana only ever slept with two guys. Noah Puckerman and Finn Hudson. The latter was the worst lay of her life. The former was her regular sex friend. They used each other when they needed to get off. It worked for them and they stopped asking questions a long time ago.

They just were.

So that's how Santana got here. That's how she became the bitter, slightly fragile, cheerleader that she was now. Her parents divorce set off a trigger that spiralled into the life she had now.


Wearing her signature cheerio uniform, her hair slicked back in a high pony, Santana walked towards her locker. She couldn't wait to be done with this school. Just a year and a half left. Then, she could move far away from this place. Of course, if she did that, she would feel incredibly guilty about leaving her dad. But for once in her life, she needed to be selfish. She needed to worry about herself first.

Santana could already tell that it was going to be a crappy day. This day was always crappy. The second she saw what day it was, her entire mood changed.

Standing by her locker, Santana searched for her english book and binder, getting ready for period one. From the corner of her eye, she saw someone approaching. Santana tried her best to ignore it because she wasn't exactly in the mood for socializing, but the figure was getting closer and closer and Santana knew that there was no way to ignore it.

"Hi, friend," the blonde chirped happily. Her voice was too happy for this time. Her voice was too happy all the time. But Santana had a weakness for the slightly ditzy blonde. She was Santana's best friend, despite Santana's rule of not getting too attached to people, and she would always have a soft spot for the blonde.

"Morning, B," Santana grumbled. She wanted to be nice, but it was also difficult when she wasn't exactly in the best spirit.

Santana could hear Brittany chuckle beside her. It wasn't mean, it was playful. That was the best part of Brittany. She never judged Santana. Brittany knew exactly who the Latina was. She knew that Santana had a temper, she knew that Santana used to go to therapy, and she knew that Santana enjoyed sex. Frequently. And Brittany never judged her for it. In fact, she celebrated it.

Brittany was the only person who knew the truth about Santana's parents' divorce. She was the only person that knew exactly how affected Santana was by the whole thing. She knew that Santana's heart broke when her mom left. She knew that Santana still called her every night and when she heard the woman's voicemail, she cried herself to sleep. She knew that Santana stopped believing in love, and she even knew that Santana was terrified of the day when her dad decided to move on. And even though Brittany knew all those things, she never brought it up unless Santana spoke of it first. She was a very good distraction.

Brittany smiled beside her and said, "bad mood this morning?" Her voice was simply curious.

"I didn't get my coffee. You know what that does to me." Santana lied, slamming her locker once she collected her things and she turned to face her friend.

Brittany smiled when Santana gave her her full attention. "Tell you what, we'll skip second period and go to the Lima Bean, alright? Then you can get your damn coffee."

"You're the best," Santana mused, smiling sadly, even though she knew that coffee wasn't her problem.

"I know."

The two girls giggled and Santana rolled her eyes. They agreed to meet at the front doors at second period, and they would drive to the coffee house and be back in time for third period.


First period went by slow. Dreadfully slow. Santana was never exactly a fan of English, and her teacher had the most boring, monotone voice, so it was almost impossible to stay awake. Somehow, she managed, and Santana believed she deserved a medal for that.

The entire class, there was only one person who was paying attention and Santana rolled her eyes. Of course. Berry. Rachel was naive to believe that paying attention in Junior year English was going to change her life. She needed to learn how to relax, take the stick out of her ass, and be a normal teenager for once.

However, after the dreaded hour, Santana stood by the front entrance and waited for her best friend. Santana knew that Brittany cared so much about her. Offering to skip class and grab a coffee was a clear sign of that. But coffee wasn't going to fix her problems. Not today. However, she felt like she could really use an hour to spend quality time with Brittany. Especially today.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Brittany apologized as she ran over, slightly out of breath. "My teacher asked me to stay after class for a few minutes."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows. "Why? What happened?"

"I wrote my test in crayons instead of pencil. Apparently that's like… not allowed, or something."

The Latina broke out into a chuckle as she rolled her eyes. "Of course you did, Britt. Of course you did."

The ride to the coffee shop was nice. The two spoke casually the entire time, catching up after the long weekend. The spoke about the weather, about each other, about boys, and about the following weekend. Turns out, Brittany has been crushing on the boy in the wheelchair for a while now, and she's planning on acting on it.

Santana has always been supportive of Brittany, so she stayed positive and told the brunette that she was happy for her. What she didn't say was that going for Artie would ruin her reputation. People at Mckinely find Brittany's… intelligence cute. They never make fun of her for being more imaginative and slow than most people. However, if she started dating the boy in the wheelchair, all hell would break loose. Cheerleaders aren't supposed to mingle with the glee kids, let alone any one who isn't popular.

When they got to the coffee shop, Santana and Brittany casually walked into the line. It was busier than most days and Santana wondered why. Maybe because it was a Monday and everyone is stalling before they go back into their dreadful life routine. The line didn't last long and within minutes, the two girls ordered their coffees, and then found a table.

Santana was quick to take her first sip. The Latina took a greedy sip and practically moaned in response. "God, that is good," She exclaimed, giggling along with Brittany.

"So, San, tell me what's really bothering you today."

Santana's eyebrows arched up and she almost choked on her drink. "Wow, you don't waste any time, do you?"

Brittany smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's just… I can't help but feel that your mood isn't exactly a coincidence. I own a calendar, too."

The Latina looked down, almost ashamed with herself as she rubbed her temples. She hated that she knew exactly what Brittany was talking about. She hated that she still cared. God, it's been so long. By now, she should be completely over it! Santana hated that she had a weakness, that she wasn't as strong as she tried to be.

"It's the anniversary today, isn't it?" Brittany asked, her voice soft and quiet, almost like she was afraid to make Santana mad.

"4 years today."

Silence fell over the table. Brittany knew not to push it, and Santana didn't want to be pushed. 4 years ago today her mother left for good. It was the anniversary of the divorce and of the last time she ever saw her mother. This day every year, Santana can't find it in herself to be happy. It's hard, especially when memories of that day lurk in the back of her mind.

Would she ever get over it?

Would this day ever stop meaning something to her?

Every year, she asked herself the same questions, and the next year she realized that the answer was no. She would probably never get over this, and this date will always mean something to her. It was just life.

Brittany reached out and grabbed Santana's head, rubbing her knuckles affectionately. "On the bright side, that hot blonde has been eyeing you since they walked through the door," Brittany grinned, leaning closer to Santana and lowering her voice.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, yet her eyes brightened. There was a hot guy eyeing her? Even better, a hot /blonde/ guy? God, that was just a bonus. Blonde's were always Santana's type. Eagerly, she turned around in her seat but she didn't see any blonde male. "Where?" Santana groaned, somewhat impatiently.

Brittany sighed as she pointed her finger subtly, "there. In the red top and denim shorts!"

It seemed impossible for any man to wear denim shorts, but Santana kept looking. Eventually, her eyes landed on a woman with Brittany's exact description. And if Santana swung that way, she would have been totally flattered by the way those hazel eyes hungrily roamed over her body. Santana flushed and she felt a little nauseous as she turned around and faced Brittany. "God, Britt, that's a girl!" Santana hissed.

"So?"

"So?" Santana echoed. "I'm not bisexual like you are. Girls don't do it for me."

Brittany leaned her head and looked at the woman. "Too bad. You two would be so hot together."

At that comment, Santana bit her lip and couldn't help but sneak another glance. Brittany was right, the woman was definitely eyeing her like she was a piece of meat. She was very gorgeous and judging by the smirk on her lips, the two of them could have a lot of fun. For a split second, Santana wondered what it would be like to be with another girl. Hell, this person was not a girl. Not at all. She was a woman. The blonde was much older than Santana, at least 26, but that didn't prevent her from being a sight for sore eyes. She practically lit up the room.

When caught staring, Santana blushed again and turned back to Brittany. "If you like her so much, you should go for her," Santana spat, somewhat bitterly.

Brittany smirked at that. "Hmm, someone's jealous. You sure you aren't gay?"

Santana looked offended for a second before she burst into a loud laugh. Brittany sooner joined her. And once again, Brittany managed to make Santana completely forget what a horrible mother she has.

They stayed there for a full hour, and somewhere in between the gossiping and the whispering, Santana looked over her shoulder to try and find the woman again. But she was gone. Santana couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at her absence, but chose to ignore it.


After their coffee date, the rest of the day didn't seem so horrible. The classes didn't seem so long, and the people didn't seem as annoying. Even cheerio's practice didn't seem so painful. Yes, it was the anniversary of her mothers disappearance, but maybe that's not all the day was. Maybe it was a day filled with a great best friend, great coffee, and a great life. Maybe for once, things were finally going her way.

When Santana got home, she kicked off her shoes, hung her coat up on the hanger and walked into her kitchen. "Papa? I'm home!" She called loudly, and started making herself something quick to eat. Santana reached into the fridge and grabbed yogurt.

Soon enough her father walked down stairs. He looked… nice. Nicer than she's seen him in a long time. He was wearing jeans and a button up shirt styled with a casual yet fashionable tie. His hair was styled, staying off his face, yet it looked effortlessly. "Wow, Papa, you look nice," Santana commented honestly, smiling.

She was sort of surprised to see him up and dressed, not to mention a smile that big has been a rare sight for the last 4 years.

On a day like today, Santana imagined that her father would be in bed, drowning his sorrows in alcohol. But no, he was dressed and he was smiling.

"Thanks, doll. How was school?" He asked, walking towards her and kissing her on the cheek.

Santana watched her dad search for his keys and walked towards the front door.

"It was good.." Santana said hesitantly. "Papa, are you going somewhere?"

It was odd for Richard to go out on a Monday night without including his daughter. It was especially odd for Richard to go out /this/ particular day. The whole thing was strange to her.

The man nodded and looked at Santana over his shoulder, offering her one of his charming grins. "Yeah, actually. I'm uh… having dinner with a friend."

Santana's eyebrow quirked up at that. Now that caught her attention. "A special friend?"

"Santana, don't be silly."

That cooled her down a little bit. Santana wasn't exactly ready for her father to start dating. "Can't you cancel, or something? I don't exactly want to be alone today."

Richard sighed heavily. He put on his shoes and then walked back to Santana. He gently grabbed her shoulders and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "I know, sweetie. It's a hard day. It's always a hard day, but we can't keep letting this day get the best of us. We have to start living our lives. I won't be long, okay? I promise. You can invite a friend over, if you'd like."

Santana licked her lips and bowed her head, refusing to show how much this was affecting her. She spent all day looking forward to spending time with her dad. Maybe she wanted to cry on his shoulder like she did every year. Maybe she just needed the warm comfort he always provided. But she would never say that. "Okay, Papa. Go. Have fun." She put on a brave face and nodded encouragingly.

"Thank you. I love you!" And just like that, he was out the door.

Santana sighed heavily and nodded. "I love you, too," she mumbled to no one.


Santana was sitting on the edge of her bed, holding her phone tightly. She was tossing the object between hands as she stared at her blank walls. A part of her wanted to be strong enough to avoid it, but another part of her knew that she needed it.

She needed comfort.

She needed someone to help her forget.

She needed a release.

Desperately, she scanned down her contacts and called the one number she had memorized a long time ago.

"Hello?" His voice answered, calm yet confident.

It made Santana sick to her stomach that by saying what she was about to say, it would only boost his confidence and add to his ego. He didn't need an ego boost. He was pretty cocky already. "I need you."

She heard him laugh. "I'll be there in 5."

"Thank you, Puck," Santana said genuinely, shutting her eyes as a tear streamed down her face.

"Don't mention it, babe." She hung up and waited for him to come over.

She waited for him to fuck the memories out of her.


So this was a trial run! Please let me know what you think in the comments! Any reviews will keep me writing and make me eager to feed you guys more.

This chapter was to give you guys a feel for Santana's life, her relationship with Brittany, Puck, and her father.

Hope you enjoyed!