Ok so this is something that's been sitting in my notebook after I finished my Cousland... it takes place without Awakening happening... It's got end game spoilers of course and umm... as for the title well let's just say I just decided to go with a Lady Gaga theme for my Dragon Age fanfic titles... as strange as that sounds, plus I think the song conveys the feelings of my Cousland for Alistair well. This is an unhardened Leliana btw.


The new queen of Ferelden lay in bed next to her husband Alistair. She was tall, strong, and frustrated, for Alistair was not listening to her. "Wake up…" the former Cousland cooed, but Alistair remained ignorant, snored, and rolled over. "Wake up!" She shouted into his ear.

"Maker's mercy!" Alistair gasped fumbling to awake, "What's wrong is it darkspawn?"

His wife smiled, "No, there's no darkspawn here, only a strong furious woman with needs."

"Oh boy," the king laughed, "I think a darkspawn in my bed might have been easier to handle." He gave her a sleepy grin while she smacked his chest softly and straddled him, telling him to hush up.

"I know we have to produce an heir and all but, can't we try in the morning. I am very tired." Lauren ('twas the queen's name) with her long russet hair and hazel eyes shook her head and leaned in to kiss him while moving her hip in an attempt of awakening the half conscious man. He smiled as they kissed and attempted to fondle her large breasts until the fade took him away from her grasp. Violently the queen turned back over to her side of their large extravagant bed of blue and gold.

"Uhg what's the point of having such a man in bed if he can't even be awake to use," she muttered. Using the moonlight, she found a flint and lit a candle for her bedside. Her initial intention was to read but as she saw the only book at her bedside was a book of Andraste which Lauren had received as a gift from Leliana. She never read it beyond the first page where it was inscribed, "To my lovely friend, I am always here for you. –Leliana" Not interested in religious tome, the queen dressed into one of her night gowns and made her way to the library.

On her way she began to hear a tune coming from the personal chantry. The voice was unmistakably recognizable and passing the chantry her suspicions were confirmed. Leliana sat on a pew, praying, the moonlight bounced of her hair making the queen flush and hands tighten. Seeing Leliana outside of daylight brought back fond memories of listening to her tales, kissing when the others were asleep and sneaking into Leliana's tent behind Alistair's back. She tried desperately to be with them both, for she honestly loved them both, but ultimately the decision wasn't her own. Both of her lovers seemed to agree that the bastard son of Maric was meant for the last Cousland. Lauren felt so guilty for leaving Leliana; she still loved the bard, and was certain, especially after the red head declared at the gates of Denerim that she would gladly die at her side, that she still loved her as well.

The warden stood at the doorway debating with herself whether or not to make her presence known. Leliana however finished her prayer and stood up turning around to see the queen. The bard raised her brow quizzically, "How long have you been standing there?" Lauren blushed, "Not long."

"You were watching me? Eavesdropping?"

"No of course not," the queen squeaked in her defense, "I was just admiring… err I mean…" The queen looked at Leliana who was dressed in a short plain night gown. "Well aren't you scantily dressed for prayer?" The queen rebuked.

Leliana too blushed and replied, "I don't think the maker cares. Remember when we searched for the ashes…"

The queen smiled, remembering how long it took them to convince Morrigan to undress.

"I refuse!" The witch snarled, wailing her arms in the air.

"Morrigan…" the female warden practically begged, still covered in the blood of the highdragon.

"No not with these two and their… wandering eyes!" Morrigan squawked. The brunette shook her head and replied, "Just hide behind me; they've seen it all already anyway…" Morrigan laughed at this and replied, "You're horrible."

The queen was dragged back out of her thoughts as Leliana walked closer. "I missed you," Leliana sighed out when she reached the side of the queen. "You're such a great friend," she quickly added stuttering, "How was your honeymoon?" The queen laughed and replied, "If you could hardly call it that."

"Why what happened?"

"Oh my brother, was extremely protective at me at Highever, and was constantly staring ruthlessly at Alistair as if he wished him a strong harm."

"Why?"

"Oh he's always been so. If I ever tried to get close to a man anyway, my father was like this too, even though my mother practically threw men at me. I guess she was worried…" the queen blushed, "I think she was worried that I only liked girls…" The queen laughed. "She had good reason I guess considering my brother's main competition in courtship was me." Leliana laughed.

"We'll you're certainly better looking than your brother." Leliana joked at the queen who was biting her lower lip in embarrassment. "Not that he's unattractive it's just you are… a stronger force then any man around you and you are very beautiful…" Leliana stopped midsentence and frowned realizing her own subconscious advancements. "I'm sorry I shouldn't say things like that should I?" the bard whispered to herself.

"No it's fine we're just comfortable around each other and we say things, but… yes maybe we shouldn't. I think if someone else was around they would think…"

Leliana laughed, "They would think the queen was having an affair with an Orlesian bard!" The warden laughed at this, "I would be beheaded!"

"Us both…"

"And Alistair would go down in history as a weak man with an uncontrollable wife, Morrigan would find such joy!" The warden was laughing extremely hard at the thought, while Leliana's giggles came to a stop, "Oh hush up it's not that funny." The queen shook her head, "Yes it is," she said proudly, no longer hurdled by awkward feelings, then leaned into Leliana's ear and whispered, "it would be worth it too."

Leliana blushed and pushed the other woman away, "Don't joke like that Alistair loves you. You two are… are meant for each other, look at what you two have accomplished for Ferelden. You told me that you and he being together was for Ferelden…" The bard muttered.

The queen frowned, "If it was only Alistair that helped me I would have died long ago. And I … he needed my help as queen… and you… you told me to be with him."

"Because it was obvious that you loved him, you think I wasn't hurt the way he looked at you with those puppy eyes and the way you… held him. You even had the nerve to kiss him in front of me once. Let's drop this."

The queen lost that argument at this point, and began to choke up, looking at the hurt bunched face of the bard in front of her. It tormented her to look at Leliana. She wanted to tell her what had happened; she wanted to tell her she made a mistake by letting her greed to reach the throne break not only the bard's heart but her's as well. She wanted to tell Leliana that she was sick of Alistair. She wanted to pull her into her arms and…

Leliana looked down at her nails and began to pick out any dirt that lay under them and sighed out in frustration, "We'll I guess I should tell you now that I'm leaving to head the search party for the ashes in two days."

"What if I don't love Alistair?" The queen whispered. Leliana's head jolted back up at the brunette and stared at her curiously, "What if… I wanted to be with you but, but you insisted. And I wanted to be queen, I wanted there to be a Cousland on the throne but I still feel horrible Leliana. You say Alistair loves me but it's nothing close to what we shared. You are so endearing…" The bard turned away from her only to sigh out, "He loves you."

"I know he does he says it every day but it doesn't have the same feeling as when you used to say it."

"You should have said this before…" Leliana stuttered

The queen dismissed her comment and continued. "I can't take it anymore regardless. Every time I look at you I get this feeling in my stomach that rivals the first time I saw the Archdemon. I feel so guilty I feel like I hurt you like Marjoliane even after I had promised that I wouldn't let anyone else hurt you in such a way. It eats me up inside looking at you… Leliana." The bard sat down on a pew in disbelief clutching at her gut, and stuttered out in her sweet siren voice, "If you felt this way, you should have told me."

"I am now… I am a woman and I reserve the right to be inconsistent…" The queen said quickly in her usual belligerent tone, sitting next to the bard who stifled a laugh and moved away from her bashfully, frightened, and distressed. "I love you Leliana. I wanted to try to be just friends again, but every time I looked at you I just thought of touching you…" Lauren's face was flushed red and her eyes began to water as she continued, "When you talked my mind thought of your moans. When you told me at the gates of Denerim that you would have died with me, it confirmed to me that you still love me, tell me if you do."

"I… I do… I love you." The bard replied giving her a tearful grin. Incredibly anxious the warden pulled Leliana to her and kissed her full lips. Leliana eagerly gave into this kiss as well, wrapping herself around the other woman and undoing the ties of her hair, while she was laid back against the bottom of the pew. The brunette pulled back to look at the red head. The white night gown hardly left anything to the imagination, she looked at the top of her thighs (which the bard insisted where far from perfection), her narrow waist (covered with scars she used to kiss tenderly), her chest smaller than the other woman's( but much firmer and sweet), and there was an incredibly large grin on Leliana's face that made the warden glow with contentment.

"I missed you…" The bard said temptingly with her accent, while the warden gazed at her before trying to remove the skimpy nightgown.

"Not here!" The bard blushed and pushed the other woman away. "It's wrong…"

"You said the Maker didn't care about such things." She replied, grabbing for the bottom of the dress again and pulling it over Leliana's head, and joked, "Besides I've bet you've always wanted to do this anyway." The bard shook her head but didn't fight back as the other woman kissed her, held her breasts, and slipped her fingers between the lips of her vulva, all while under the eyes of the Maker.


I know I'm supposed to be working on Bad Romance and getting another chapter in for that but... when I finished my Cousland I wrote this up and it's been sitting in my notebook for 2 weeks and I thought why shouldn't it be on online? So I typed it up. Anyway that was me the whole time playing my Cousland (which I created entirely for the purpose of becoming queen) I fell in love with Leliana again, even before I started romancing Alistair and then they made me choose. Insept that time I told Leliana to choose for me and she was like "Go with Alistair" :( I really wish I could put more stuff up but I'm so busy!!! I had to write a 5 page essay on Pride and Prejudice for English and last weekend I was at Disneyland, and I'm doing softball and I think our pitcher likes me...

Anyway Reviews are always appreciated.