Episode 1: WHEN VIOLENCE COUNTERATTACKS
by Reka
A ship in space>
Some Nameless Guy: Between Point A-B and Y-Z...
SAME GUY: The, um, THINGS will reach the earth's atmosphere in 600 seconds.
STRANGE GIRL: Five, right?
Some Nameless Guy: How'd YOU know? You're not the all-powerful Lt. Xesi!
Some Nameless Guy: Right. The radar reports five metal objects approaching earth.
Strange girl: Tell Lt. Xesi, anyway.
Strange girl: I hope they're pieces of some space junk or whatever. *giggles*
Some Nameless Guy: Um, ok!
another ship>
Nameless and Mindless Extra: Lt. Xesi, five things look like they're heading to earth. The colonies tried sneaking Gundams to earth like this before--
Lt. Xesi: Yes, they're, like, all Gundams.
Lt. Xesi: History, like, repeats itself.
Lt. Xesi: Yea. This must be the, like, colonies' Plan B.
Lt. Xesi: How many of those things can our cool heat-sensing thing locate?
N+M: One, I think. I can't see all the radar screen under all your smiley face stickers.
Lt. Xesi: I thought that was, like, a good place to put them. Let's track that THING! *giggles*
Lt. Xesi: We're, like, SPECIALS, remember?
N+M: YUP!
Lt. Xesi: As I always say... I'm just a girl... *bursts into song*
Lt Xesi: A commercial shuttle...? COOL!
on the shuttle>
Flight Attendent: Ms. Darlian, this shuttle will re-enter the earth momentarily. *runs off giggling about how handsome Ms. Darlian's son is*
Ms. Darlian: What's wrong my little sweetie-pie? You don't want to go back to earth?
Rei: No, I don't wanna. The earth is boring. Breeds too many mindless teenage girls. And don't call me sweetie-pie.
Ms. Darlian: Well... okay sweetie-pie.
Rei: Moooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm!!!!!!
Rei: Mom? What is THAT?
back on the Hippie Ship>
Computer: The target's relative speed: 01545.
N+M: One of the things?
N+M: I see it. I'll put it on your super-duper smiley-face covered screen.
Lt. Xesi: This little, like, egg came from the colonies. But once I'm through with them, like, there won't be any colony to go back to... *giggles*
N+M Plan B?
N+M2: There's a shuttle. Good thing we're here to keep the peace.
N+M: Do you think...?
Lt Xesi: That ship knows we're, like, behind him. There's,like, no way it'll attack the shuttle.
Lt. Xesi: This is, like, a secret plan. Shhhh! *the ship falls quiet*
Inside the egg. I guess you could call Hidoi the yolk>
Hidoi: The Feds... They see me...
Hidoi: So...
back>
N+M3: We're also heading through Earth's atmosphere.
Hidoi: The earth... YAY! I did it!
N+M2: The ship is changing its course.
N+M: That's suicidal!
N+M2: Burning the ship up for the sake of the mission? Sounds like the legendary Perfect Solder.
N+M3 But the thing is going faster, trying to get away!
N+M: That's impossible! Ships can't endure that speed AND the heat!
Lt. Xesi: It, like, could. Advanced technology, like, rules! *gives the peace sign while the N+Ms sweatdrop*
N+M3: Plan B?
N+M: Lt. Xesi...?
Lt. Xesi: The secret weapon! Shhhh! *the crew hushes*
Lt. Xesi: Ack! IT HAS NO SMILEY FACES ON IT!!!!!
N+M2: We can attack now!.
Lt. Xesi: Once we capture it... I'm sticking flowers and peace signs ALL OVER IT!! Just shoot it down!
N+M3: Peace, love, and guns?!
In the secret weapon>
Hidoi I am NOT running away!
Hidoi: A carrier. So if I go down now, I won't go without a fight! *chuckles evilly* I sound like Instuctor M.
back>
N+M: I'm shooting it down!
N+M2: Lt. Xesi, the thing changed its course and it's coming!
Lt. Xesi: Is my, like, suit ready?
N+M3: Aries are much faster, cooler, and they're made for air battle.
Lt. Xesi: Do they, like, have smiley faces on them?
N+M3: No.
Lt. Xesi: No thanks. *waves him off*
=========
In the weapon hanging with Hidoi>
Hidoi: What? Above me? *sees Lt. Xesi's hippie Leo fire* WHAT?! A... a problem? Left engine?
back>
N+M: Totally cool, Lt. Xesi!!
Lt. Xesi: Is that, like, it?
N+M3: Should we...?
Lt. Xesi: Don't touch it. I want it to, like, fall!
==========
*the secret weapon turns into a big mobile suit*
N+M2: What the...? A mobile suit?
N+M3: Lt. Xesi, do you know what kinda suit that is?
Lt. Xesi: All I know is it's SMILEY FACE FREE!
Lt. Xesi: People besides us can build cool mobile suits?
N+M: Hippie Xesi, let us shoot it down.
Lt. Xesi: Like, ok!
Lt: Xesi: It's cool... but NO SMILEY FACES!!!!!
N+M3: It's turning!
N+M2: Who cares?? SHOOT IT DOWN!!!
A camera in Hidoi's secret weapon shows this>
Hidoi: One more!
back>
Lt. Xesi: Two... one shot... that's, like, INTERESTING!
N+M: Lt. Xesi? Are you totally ok?
Lt. Xesi: TOTALLY!
N+M2: The data from the fight paired with common sense says it has to be made of Gundanium alloy.
N+M3: Anyone inside that thing would die after hitting the water...
N+M: Lt. Xesi, the Fed Marine is asking permission to search for the suit.
Lt. Xesi: Tell them the suit, like, sunk around point F-R-Y in West Asia.
N+M: Um, ok!
A spaceairport thingy>
News Guy: Ms. Darlian, what did you discuss at the Colonial Speakers this time? What is the Colonies' demands on the Federation? Give us a comment, Ms. Vice Minister.
News people1: Everyone is anxious to know if they will declare war on earth.
NP2: Please tell us something, Ms. Darlian!
Fed Person1: Welcome back, Ms. Darlian.
FP2: A car from the Defence Department is waiting outside. Please follow us.
Ms. Darlian: Now? I have to prepare a birthday party for my little sweetie-pie this evening.
Rei: *gives Ms. Darlian the Death Glare*
FP23: We have another car for your, um, sweetie-pie too.
Rei: *gives Fed Person23 the Death Glare with the other eye*
Rei: I can WALK, dammit!
FP23: Let's, uh, *sweatdrops under Rei's Death Glare* go then. General Heehoo is anxious to see you.
The BEACH!>
Rei: Stupid moms... I'd run away... if I wanted to lose all those gifts you buy with your unlimited cash.
Rei: Huh? A girl?
Rei: A spacesuit... a soldier? A GIRL SOLDIER? Cool! I've never met a girl who wasn't mindless and teenage!
Rei: I'd better get an ambulance so she can knock out the windows, the doctors, and speed away!
Seki and Xesi talking somewhere over their laptop thingys>
Seki Onigiri: You, like, lost three, like, Mobile Suits?
Lt. Xesi: Um, yea.
Seki:Like, WHY?!
Seki: It'll be hard to, like, make up excuses...
Lt. Xesi: Data and, like, common sense say, like, that the enemy, like, was made of, like, gundanium alloy.
Seki: Huh?
Lt. Xesi: If it was, like, built on, like, a colony...
Seki: If we were, like, with OF since, like, way back when...
Seki: ...it probably would, like, never have happened.
Lt. Xesi: Y'think it's, like, a gundam?
Seki: What else could that, like, THING be?
Lt. Xesi: The, like, Fed Marine's, like, looking for it...
Seki: I'll, like, tell 'em, like, we'll do it.
Seki: And I'll, like, send a, like, SPECIAL underwater, like, mobile suit. You're, like, in charge. Like, ok?
Lt. Xesi: Yes, like, Your Hippieness.
Seki: *mutters* Ditz.
A meeting somewhere>
Seki: Sorry I'm late.
FP45: Colonial Seki Onigiri, did one of your lieutenants...
FP45: .. lose 3 'Suits re-entering earth?
Seki: Um, yeah.
FP96: Why? Our precious mobile suits...!
Seki: We got the enemy...
FP74: *snaps* I DON'T CARE!
Seki: And?
FP74: Leave!
FP21: *holds FP74's arms before the hothead can get his gun* Be... More... Careful... *While holding FP74*
Seki: Um... ok!
FP89: Now, let's move to todays agenda:How to prevent the colonies from forming an Alliance...
That beach thingy>
Rei: An ambulance is coming so you can knock out the windows, the doctors and drive away.
Hidoi: Thanks. I'll contact you again... to see what side you're on.
Rei: I... I don't know what side I'm on, but I hope it's yours! *winks at Hidoi*
Doctor1: Hey, in here!
D2: Hurry, this way! *Hidoi runs up the stairs and kicks the doctors 1, 2, and 3 off the steps*
Rei: COOL!!!!!
Rei: See ya! I'm Rei Darlian.
Hidoi: Later!
A port somewhere>
Who Knows Who: What the...?! Enemy attack?
}KA-BOOM!{
Hanashi: This is Hanashi. Primary mission completed.
Hanashi: But I still just wanna fight a little longer!
A port somewhere else>
WNW2: This is the Space Port. We're under attack!
WKW3: A surprise attack? Who the hell is it?
WNK2: I have no idea.
}KA-BOOM!{
Heeki: *laptop beside her says her thoughts in a wierd monotone voice* Well, now that they've seen me... I have no choice.
Heeki: Now I have to destroy you all.
Heeki: Battle record: No. 001. Recorder... let's just say Heeki now.
Some desert place. For all I know, it's the Sahara>
WKW443: This is where the enemy fell?
WKW443: I don't see anything.
WKW543: Huh? Enemy attack!
WKW3232: A... a trap!
Yowai: I don't want to hurt you. Please just surrender....
Commander: Fire! NOW!
}KA-BOOM!{
Yowai: This is Yowai. The Commander is dead...
Yowai: *lifts goggles off face* Why didn't you surrender?!
Onnarashii: I'm Onnarashii. I don't hide, run away, or anything cowardly.
Onnarashii: YOU'RE ALL MEN!!!!
Lt Xesi: Like, where's the Fed Marine?
N+M: Two hours, ma'am.
Lt. Xesi: Like, WHAT?
N+M: It's the OCEAN, remember...
Lt: Xesi: Like, I also have someting neato. *hands N+M a picture completly covered by smiley face stickers*
N+M: Um... *sweatdrops* Your sticker collection?
Lt. Xesi: Like, like it?
N+M: WHAT IS IT, anyway?
Lt. Xesi: HOW... DARE YOU!! *whips out a gun and kills N+M* My collection. *hugs the bloody picture torn out of N+M's dead hands*
In the yard thingy at school>
Weird Rei-Worshipper1:I wish Rei was around for the first day of the semester.
WRW2: He just got home yesterday. Give him a break.
WRW3: I wish *I* went to space.
WRW4: All you need is cash!
WRW5: Tomorrow is Rei's birthday.
WRW6: Oh yeah! I wonder who was invited this year?
*Rei enters*
WRW7: Rei... *drools*
Rei: Um, *sweatdrops, seeing the drool* H-hi, everybody.
At School>
Teacher: Good morning. *walks in with a calm, indifferent Hidoi*
Rei: That's her. The soldier girl.
Teacher:SHUT UP!!!!!! *everyone stops talking*
Teacher: Now, I would like to introduce you all to a new student.
Hidoi: Hidoi Hageki. Nice to meet you.
Rei: Hidoi Hangeki? That's her name?
Teacher: Hidoi, please sit next to Rei.
Hidoi: *eyes dart up to where Rei is, and lets her eyes warm a little (or did they just glaze over?) before looking down*
Teacher If you have a question, feel free to ask him.
Teacher: Class time!
Rei: Hello, Hidoi.
Hidoi: *quietly* You know it all, don't you?
In the yard thingy>
WRW8: Uhmm, Rei...
Rei: Here, Hidoi.
Rei: My birthday is tomorrow. Please try to come...
Hidoi: *rips the invite in half*
Rei: What? H...hidoi?
Hidoi: I will kill you.
Rei: What the HELL?!
-To Be Continued-
