HOW TO MAKE LEGOLAS CRAZIER

Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, 1. I would be dead, 2. I would be a guy, 3. I would be richer than I am now.

Chapter 1 : Exactly How many portals are there anyway ?????

It was just a normal average day, and Amy and Nicole were attemting to put their laptops in their laptop lockers. The only problem was that Nicole's locker was about a foot taller than her.

"ALLY !!!!!!" Amy screamed in welcome to the new girl walking down the hallway.

" AMY!!!!!!NICOLE!!!!!!!" Ally replied. It was about then that they all looked at the strangely small door at the end of the lockers. It was smaller than all the other doors in the school and rumored to go back to the school's origins – in the immigration days of America. Normally, the door was closed, but today it was weirdly wide open. And, it looked like another entrance into their favorite class – World Cultures.

"Since when does Mr.L's room have a secret entrance on the other side of the school ???" asked Ally

" You know," answered Amy, " I don't know."

" Yah, that's informative." Nicole stated with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

"Let's all go tell Mr.L how sorry we are for his defeat in the student/faculty basketball game" suggested Ally.

" oh, yeah" Nicole responded. " We crushed those teachers – does anyone know the final score?"

"uhhhhh" answerd Amy.
Well, anyway the girls finally got around to go bother Mr.L with what was classified as their idea of fun. And, as everyone knows, bugging your World Cultures teacher is fun, and a very cool form of entertainment.

Thus, the girls unknowingly stepped into a portal, which unfortunately for the poor people of the portal's world happens often.

"Hey guys?" asked Nicole.

"Yah…." Said Amy and Ally.

" Where exactly are we?"

" OMG !!!!!!!!" Amy yelled and started jumping around like a crazy maniac " I know where we are – MIDDLEEARTH !!!!"

" How did you know that ?"asked Ally. Amy responded by pointing to the giant billboard, flashing in bright neon lettering : ' Welcome to the plains of Rohan !"

"Oh…." Ally said. " Well, we're in Middle Earth now, what's the first thing we should do ?" Thus resulting in an hour of them standing there suggesting what exactly they should do now. You see, the picket sign thing was so Alageasia, and saving the world was too cliché. Amy wanted to find Legolas again, but noooooooooooo. That would apparently be too repetitive.

As this discussion continued, a group of rohirrim approached.

"oOOh, I know ! " Ally screamed . " I've always wanted to do this – Strider's line : HAIL, RIDERS – WHAT NEWS FROM THE MARK " SO, of course the riders all turn around and start stampeding towards us. But, of course, due to our poor eyesight, they were not rohirrim. They were Urakhi, and thye weren't riding anything.

" oops." Said Ally. And then, the three girls began to run, very fast. So fast, that they tripped and fell flat on their faces. Luckily, however, they were saved by a meteor that fell from the sky. ( Just kidding – making sure you're paying attention. ) Instead, however, the orcs stared at them very hard, and then began to run away. We think that they thought we were Mary Sues and they were actually scared of us. Upon closer inspection however, the would have then proceeded to kill us. This is the only known history in the known world where Mary Sues actually saved someone's life. Creepy, I know.

So then, Amy, Ally, and Nicole decided to run around with pointless randomness until something happened. So, they ran around in circles over and over again until they heard voices coming from up the fields in a left/right/circular direction.

"Are they doing this to inflict pain upon themselves?"

"Who starts doing random pointless things in the plains of rohan ?'

" Does anyone have a potato ?" ( No seriously, someone actually said that ).

And then the fellowship of the ring came over the hill. Ally and Amy fainted at the sight of Aragorn and Legolas. The problem is they fell on Nicole as she tried to catch them. Thus, the three were again reduced to a pile on the floor.

"Help!" Nicole managedto muffle out. And so she was dug out with the help of the fellowship. Sort of . Because then Legolas recognized Amy as the person who kidnapped him and dragged him over to Alageasia. And as Amy is right now very confused about, he was upset and started screaming. Unfortunately, Amy didn't pay attention to what he was saying because she was concentrating on how hot his voice sounded.

Thus, the fellowship found out that these were the people who had dragged their friend around to a different world and tortured him with a game known as "truth or dare", supposedly more painful than being stabbed 5,000,000 times with a blunt knife. Then all the fellowship turned to Aragorn to see what he would do with the three girls. He responded with the idea to bring them along, unaware that Nicole had mad short intimidation skills.

"LET US GO, OR I WILL MAKE YOU DRINK THE CUCKOO JUICE!!!!!" Nicole yelled. Intimidated, Aragorn let them go. And thus they were standing there standing for each other for another hour. Until Ally realized her laptop was missing.

" Hey, who took my laptop?" Amy and Nicole started whistling innocently, as they had hidden said laptop where Ally would never find it.

And that's when they realized all the fellowship wasn't supposed to go to the plains of Rohan together. Then, they turned and yelled at the characters for being inaccurate, and thus the scene setting magically changed to a place right outside of Moria. And then, someone coughcoughnamedNicolecoughcough decided to write pointless randomness on the laptop.

Yes, this is random pointlessness. Not pointless randomness. Jeez, get it right Amy. They are nothing alike☺! Anyway, there was then a schism in Middle Earth in 1054 A.D. I don't know why or how or anything like that but oh well. Yay schism!!! Ha ha! No but really how do you pronounce schism? Is it like skiz-uhm or shiz-uhm or siz-uhm? Amy says it's skiz-uhm but shiz-uhm is so much more fun. Yay random pointlessness!!!!!!! Boo pointless randomness!!!!!!

Amy then spent about 20 minutes trying to get the laptop back from Nicole. Meanwhile, Nicole was typing this sentence and Ally was just ignoring them.

Amy did manage to get the laptop back long enough to inform you that there really was no schism but Nicole is just obsessed with schisms right now. Yay random pointlessness!!!!! Okay now back to the story…

Okay, no that we've established the difference between random pointlessness and pointless randomness, let me just tell you what happens next… in chapter 2.