And…we're…back… Agenda for today: Write and post the first chapter of this new fic, chapter 5 of "One Last Look at My Sacred Heart", and then chapter 2 of "The Edge of Forever". Three updates in one day? May take me awhile, but that's the plan. This is the sequel to "Who Are You? And Who AM I?" so if you haven't read that, this won't make a lick of sense. It's rated M for cursing, malexmale action, and general fanfiction smut. I don't own FFXII or its characters, and the characters will not be perfectly in character. Enjoy, and reviews earn updates.
This Is Who I Am
Chapter 1
The swirling brown liquor that filled his glass reminded Balthier of mud, but it didn't stop him from gulping it down and ordering another glass. He knew that if he had any more that Vaan would know something was wrong, so he promised himself that this would be the last one. He was waiting on Basch, who was supposed to meet him here at the Sandsea while Vaan was busy with Penelo buying provisions for their journey to find Seraph. The conversation he knew he was about to have to have was not one he was looking forward to, and he thought about lying for the thousandth time. His head was beginning to throb dully, reminding him once again of just what a horrible day he was having. He told himself he didn't believe what doctors said anyway…
"You don't look thrilled," said Basch as he sat across from him, "You did go right?"
Balthier looked up from his drink, "I didn't see you come in," he said, "And yes, I went."
Neither said anything for a few moments, and Balthier knew that Basch was waiting on him to tell him what had happened.
"Well?" asked Basch, "He's one of the best doctors in Ivalice, it took a lot of gil to get him to even consider looking at someone with as big a price on his head as you've got," he said, "What did he say?"
Balthier shook his head, "It's nothing, he…he said it's nothing to worry about."
Basch studied him a moment, "You're lying. I can tell by the way you're acting," his expression changed to worry, "Balthier? It's…it's bad isn't it?"
Balthier sighed and let his eyes focus back on his drink as he nodded, "It's ah, a tumor," he said finally, "in my brain. The doctor said it's probably been there for some time my injury just brought attention to it."
Basch's shock showed on his face, "So you just need surgery right? Balthier, Seraph can wait a few months. Have the surgery, get better, and then we'll go after him."
Balthier smiled sadly, "It's too late for surgery, Basch. He said maybe if he'd found it months ago, but, it's just too late now."
Basch shook his head, "What does all this mean?"
A full minute passed in silence, "It means I'm dying, Basch."
"Oh god…Balthier."
"I'm not worried about me," the pirate said somberly, "Vaan going to need to be taken care of, I…I had hoped you be willing to look after him for me."
"If anything happens to you Balthier, you know I'll take care of Vaan," offered Basch, "But I refuse to believe this is the end for you. We'll find another doctor, we'll do something."
"I thought you said this guy was one of the best in all Ivalice," joked Balthier.
Basch shrugged, "Then we'll find the best one in all Ivalice. I promise. We'll just have to hit every treasure coffer along the way, these guys aren't cheap."
"Then you'd best get to it," said Balthier, "because according to the last doc I only have two to four months left."
"Two to four?"
Balthier nodded, "Don't tell Vaan."
"Don't ask me to do that Balthier," begged Basch, "He deserves to know, it'll be easier if he can prepare himself. The others deserve to know. It isn't fair to not tell them."
Balthier ran a hand through his hair, "I guess you're right. Goddamnit, how do you even start to tell someone something like this?"
"Just like you told me, you just have to do it. And I'll be there for a little support if you need me."
"I need you to help me find Seraph," said Balthier, "Before it's too late. He'll come back after Vaan if I let him live. I can't risk that."
Basch nodded, "Seraph will not harm Vaan. I promise you Balthier. I will make sure of it."
Balthier nodded and finished his drink, "I suppose we'd best get back to the ship, the others will be wondering where we are." He stood to leave and threw several gil down on the wooden table, "Let's go."
"Balthier wait."
He turned around and Basch pulled him into an embrace, "I know hugging isn't really your thing, it isn't mine either, but…I just want you to know the rest of us care."
Balthier was taken aback, and he stood there rigidly in the other man's arms, "I know," he said finally, he didn't really know what else to say.
They made their way through the crowded streets of Rabanastre back to the Strahl, and Balthier was already wishing he'd lied to Basch about his condition. The older man was treating him like a fragile, sick child who would break if touched too roughly. He kept asking him if he needed anything, as if a dose of cough medicine and a bowl of soup was all he needed to get better. He hoped they wouldn't all be like this, even when his strength started to go, as the doctor had told him it would, he didn't want to be pawed over. Right now all that mattered was finding Seraph, and killing him for what he'd done to Vaan before it was too late. After that he could die without regret. But he was running out of time. He would start his search in Balfonheim, if anyone had seen Seraph since he was injured; someone in Balfonheim would be able to tell him.
To Be Continued…
Hope you like it so far. Will I ever stop torturing Balthier? No, I won't. He's just too sexy when injured and upset. Please review! Should we have a happy ending? I may leave that up to you guys, so let me know!
