A/N - I wrote this before bed last night, having just watched the season finale. It's a conversation Pam has with herself after not receiveing her proposal at Toby's goodbye party. (Arg!)
You know how girls get, we have these conversations with ourselves at night, different emothions taking over... Reviews would be great!
I watched his chest rise and fall with the steady breathing of a peaceful slumber.
I glanced at the glowing numbers across the room.
2:34 a.m.
When I saw those fireworks being set up this afternoon, I thought for sure tonight would be the night.
Our night.
The way he looked at me and gave me that nervous "Hey" - I thought that was it. It was finally our moment.
Maybe I've been psyching myself up for something he isn't ready to do yet. I mean, yeah, we've known each other for years, but we have only been dating a year. Roy and I were together for six years before he popped the question.
Oh God.
Roy.
...Maybe he's waiting because of Roy.
I mean he saw first hand how painful the endless engagement was for me.
He gave me a sympathetic look when I received my longest engagement Dundie for the second year in a row. He laughed when I told him I 'accidentally' forgot in the ladies room at Chili's.
...Maybe he's afraid another engagement ring will bring back all the insecurities the last diamond had brought.
UGH! I thought this was it! I was so sure.
2:43 a.m
Stupid Angela.
Stupid Angela, and her stupid ring, and her stupid fiancé.
...Maybe he was going to do it tonight. Maybe something made him change his mind.
I mean I am going to be in New York for three months.
...How do you ask a girl to marry you and then help her pack so she can live two hours away for months?
2:47 a.m
I was just so sure.
What the hell??
Has he been messing with my head for the last few weeks?
I had a fake proposal almost every day.
What.
The.
Hell.
2:50 a.m.
I roll over in anger and stare at him.
I'm almost tempted to wake him up and demand to know why he hasn't proposed.
I mean, he promised a proposal.
Right?
"It's going to kick your ass Beesly."
Humph.
You're lucky I don't kick your ass Halpert.
I stop myself and sigh.
I'm staring into the face of the man who loved me enough to wait years for me.
The man ho loved me enough to tell me just that, so I wouldn't make the biggest mistake of my life.
The man who saved me from actually making the biggest mistake of my life.
The man who encourages me every single day to follow my dreams.
The man who is willing to make weekend trips to New York for three months, with gas at almost four dollars a gallon - thank you very much, just so I can make my dreams come true.
I let out an uneven breath.
He stirs a bit and rolls over, draping his arm over my stomach.
I smile a little and snuggle against his chest.
My eyelids grow heavy, and just before I drift off, he mumbles in his sleep.
"I love you Pam."
"I love you too Jim." I whisper back and watch a sleepy smile on his lips.
He waited years for me.
He can take all the time he needs.
This time, I will wait for him.
A/N - Ok, I need to know what you all thought of the finale... It was amazing, it really was (The B story about Kevin?? Hilarious!) dont get me wrong. But I feel a little cheated, I was sooo sure we'd get a Jam proposal! Anyone want to discuss this further, feel free to PM me. We were robbed damn it!! (But like Pam, Im willing to wait...I guess.)
