A/N: I'm on an oneshot writing streak. In this case, Wash/South, which something I thought I'd never write until I was up all night last night, writing and watching Recovery One. :D


Early on, South had vowed to never get attached, never become part of a pair. She had spent too much of her childhood being the show pony with her brother.

And after the ugliness that had happened between her parents, she had vowed to never fall in love.

Too bad she went back on both of those promises.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Fuck. It couldn't be love. It just couldn't. That wasn't supposed to happen, and it…she suddenly felt like she was seventeen again, the adolescent insecurities so far buried she thought they had disappeared completely.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

Their exchanges were nastier than anything else, though occasionally Wash would soften, and send a curveball her way. A smile of sympathy, an offhand compliment that would lift her heart and give her the urge to skip down the main hall of Freelancer base.

And which point she wished it was possible to bitch slap oneself.

They only kissed once- done more than that, though South was pretty sure that she was sober enough to remember the details whereas he was far from it.

In fact, he acted like nothing had happened; she had fallen asleep by his side, the first good night's sleep she had ever experienced. His presence, no matter how inebriated, made her feel safe, despite the fact that she was strong enough to take care of herself, and did so out of rebellion as well as pride.

She always knew him as a cynical, somewhat condescending bastard- at least he was during training, and even more so when he was in some sort of hissy fit over that slut Agent Delaware.

But then came the implantation process, and the sense of distance. He was quiet, drawn, somewhere far away, and somewhere South wasn't sure she wanted to be. She could somehow sense that he was broken, but every time she wanted to reach out to him, to help, something held her back and she ended up staring into space, hating herself.

And before she knew what was happening, he disappeared, leaving only rumors in his wake and South with a shattered heart.