Kanda clicked the mouse. His computer came to life as he stared at its screen; what was reflected in it was his bored face. He thought quietly about the past nine years he lived in this catholic cathedral owned by Father Tiedoll; and was not surprised to find that his life was usually as boring as it was right now. The blue screen of the computer blinked white as Kanda checked his e-mail. He noted silently that the church would not receive and baptisms this week; as no one had mailed him because of that matter. Kanda made a mental note to notify Father Tiedoll later.

The cathedral's black cat, Rebekah, walked silently over, and sat beside Kanda's chair. He rubbed her between her ears, but the cat's blue eyes were glued to his computer screen.

Kanda directed his gaze towards the monitor, and noticed a pop-up window showing a strange picture of a white rabbit in a waistcoat. Kanda wondered curiously about the rabbit's origin: was it a computer virus? Or was it spam mail? If it was the earlier choice, then Old man Tiedoll would surely be upset, but if it was the latter, Kanda himself would be very angry about its interference between Kanda and his relatively godly duty. He served God for so long (nine years), and had to be interrupted by spam mail?

The rabbit on the monitor screen drew out an old-fashioned pocket watch. Suddenly, what seemed like a rabbit hole appeared. The rabbit jumped in, and Kanda felt a pulling force, much like gravity, draw him towards the monitor. He tried to resist (but only very slightly); however, he found himself quickly devoured into the rabbit's hole.

Kanda was very much unhappy. He still had to tell Father Tiedoll that there will not be any baptisms; though he was also very worried about Old Man Tiedoll caring for the church's cats – would he feed Joshua enough? Or starve the poor tom? Will he give Leah enough vitamins? Will he remember to pour warm milk – not cold milk – for the tortoiseshell Rachel? Even though there were around a dozen cats, Kanda was most worried about Rebekah; she was his favorite, and if anything happened to that cat, Kanda would not forgive Father Tiedoll.

After much time, Kanda was still falling down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole. Since it seemed virtually bottomless (the rabbit hole, that is), Kanda decided to review his lessons. He mumbled in a inaudible way to himself the Law of Cosines; then the preamble of the preamble of the Constitution of the United States; then several famous Japanese haikus (short poems). However, Kanda was soon bored. After all, homework always retains the properties of homework – no matter how interesting the topic, homework is boring.

Kanda thus began wondering about the seemingly non-existent other end of the hole; would he be in China (note: he is in the U.S. in the beginning of the story)? He didn't even know how to speak Chinese. The closest to Chinese he had was Japanese; though the ratio of Chinese people speaking to Japanese to the total amount of Chinese people was probably 1:1000, sadly.

Strangely, Kanda felt rather glad. Perhaps the rabbit hole really had a receiving end, and his life wouldn't be so full of boredom. Maybe it'll turn out to be adventurous like Robinson Crusoe, or Treasure Island, maybe like the Iliad. The more unfortunate adventures (i.e. less "manly", some would say) to experience is probably Alice in Wonderland – ALICE IN WONDERLAND?!! Kanda suddenly realized that this would be very, very bad for him. Heck, it would turn out to be terrible, appalling, horrifying, miserable, and most very certainly hideous adventure to experience! Now, Kanda himself is falling down a rabbit hole – which is EXACTLY what happened to Alice in her story, though Kanda was quite sure that Alice's rabbit hole wasn't so horribly long.

Currently, Kanda was up to the neck in an indescribable dread.

Suddenly, Kanda hit the floor, though his fall was strangely well-cushioned. He glanced at the floor, and that's when his sonata of disasters had increased by an octave.

This is very, very bad; Kanda thought to himself; this is extremely unfortunate. It was a horrible way to progress. Everything had been progressing horribly, so far.

Kanda calmly closed his eyes, counted to thirty, and opened his eyes.

As a man of God, he could not swear, as it was ungodly, but he could not keep himself from uttering a certain phrase:

"Holy crap."

To be continued