For the record, I don't own The Naked Brothers Band, or the song "Your Guardian Angel," by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. If I did, I wouldn't be writing stories about them.


Ever since I was 6, I knew there was only one girl for me. There would only ever be one girl for me. And therefore, I realized my purpose in life. I would do anything for her. As long as she was happy, I would try to be happy for her, no matter how much pain it brought to me.

When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face
I can't replace

She's sitting shotgun in my Pontiac solstice convertible. Her hair is whipping in all directions imaginable, as the wind hits her beautiful face. I'm on my way to the movies. She's meeting her blind date, and since he wasn't able to come pick her up, she insisted that I take her since she might not want to stay when they actually meet.

I drive up to the front of the theater and unlock the doors so she is able to get out. She leans over and kisses my cheek before uttering a soft "I'll see you later Nat." I blush and tell her I'll wait until she gives me the approval of the guy.

She walks up to the only lone guy by the doors and quickly gives him a once over before smiling and waving goodbye.

I was instantly thankful that I had pulled up the top of the car. That way, she wouldn't be worried when she saw the tears rolling down my cheeks as my heart breaks off yet another piece.

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one

" So how are you Nat? Are you actually okay with her dating Seth?"

"Yeah, Coop. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I've had to see her go out with another guy. I've gotten stronger over the years. No matter how bad it might hurt for me, knowing that at least she's happy, it makes it sort of okay."

I shoot for the 3 pointer and it barely falls in the basket.

"I'm just surprised you've made it 5 years waiting for her to figure out if she really likes you or not."

I slam the basketball on the pavement and proceed to tower of Cooper, getting all up in his face. I then start yelling.

"I don't care how much longer I have to wait Cooper! Even if it's another 20 years I won't mind. No matter how cruel the world will ever get for me, as long as she is happy, I will be there for her. You don't get it Coop. You never will. If she marries another guy, I'll be okay. As long as there's a smile on her face as she walks down the aisle, it won't matter if she doesn't love me the same way I love her!"

By now I'm sweating buckets, and I know that my face is deep red.

"Whoa Nat, just chill. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. But let's just say things between her and Seth do get serious. Are you going to do anything? Or are you going to keep up all this bull shit about being happy for her? 'Cause you and I both know that deep down, you're not going to be happy at all."

I look down and suddenly find my shoelaces interesting.

"I don't know Coop. But if it does get serious with Seth, you can be sure, that I will do anything in my power to convince her that I might be better for her than him."

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I took her to Six flags in Southern California so she can see her favorite band, Boys Like Girls. We've been waiting in line for four hours already, and there are still two more hours until they open the gates to the arena. I'm sitting cross legged on the ground, talking to Courtney, Steven, Mark, and Chelsie, a group of friends my age that are sitting in front of us waiting too.

She went to get another bottle of water 10 minutes ago, and I can already see her coming back to our position in the line over all of the other heads that are too, sitting down waiting.

As she attempts to hop over the chain, separating the line from the other guests at the park, her plaid rocket dog sneaker gets twisted in the links, and she falls over.

Lucky for me, my strong arms are able to catch her petite frame before she hits the floor, or spills our drink. For one long second, we stare into each other's eyes, while everything else is oblivious to us.

"Thanks Nat," she whispers ever so softly.

I respond by kissing her cheek and helping her to stand up.

" You should know by now that I'll always be there to catch you," I tell her.

The next two hours pass by fairly quickly, and the arena fills up fast. Our six hours in line paid off, as now we are sitting front row. The DJ dude, who's purpose in life is to pump up a crowd, announces that two groups of people will be able to meet the band, if they are the best dancers. I hear her squeal, and realize that she would really love to meet the guys. Needless to say, I get my groove on. The DJ dude seems astonished by my super fly moves, and hands me 6 passes to give to the people I'm with. I give one to her and she instantly wraps her arms around my torso. Mark, Chelsie, Steven and Courtney had ended up saving us seats in the front row, so I repaid the favor by giving them the other four passes I had.

She thanks me all throughout the concert and I simply tell her that she's missing out on all the songs with all of her constant talking.

After the concert ends, she becomes nervous quickly. I tell her that no matter what happens, if the guys are super jerks or super caring, that I'll always be right behind her. When some Martin guy shakes her hand and gives her a hug, she's smiling straight at me.

It's ok It's ok It's ok
Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

We spend the summer before she goes off for college moving some of her junk to California. She'll be going to Pepperdine University, to be the smarty pants we all knew she would end up as. She continually tells me she feels bad about not accepting the scholarship at Columbia, but I understand that New York holds to many memories of when she and Seth were together. Every time she tells me that she's sorry, I tell her that It's okay. If she's happy at Pepperdine, I'll be happy too.

One night, within the last full week of summer I get to spend with her in California, we head to Santa Monica to spend the night. Summer is quickly fading and soon we will be separated once again. It seems as if unpacking the last of her boxes in her apartment took forever, but as we laugh and goof off on the famous pier, time is passing all to quickly.

I grab her hand and quietly tell her to walk with me. We head down the beach, the Ferris wheel growing smaller and smaller in the horizon behind us. We lay on the beach, far from all of the city lights, and look up at all of the stars above us, pointing out familiar constellations and the occasional shooting star. She's asleep by the time I'm ready to leave, and I carry her back to her car cradled against my chest.

When we wake up on my last day on the west coast, I go to pick up the latest L.A. Times at the nearest convenience store like every other day. The headline shows shocking news: Heath Ledger found dead-Hollywood star falls in apartment and never gets back up. I grow sad knowing one of the best joker's in batman history will no longer be making movies, and take the paper with me to share the news with her.

Before she finishes getting ready in the bathroom of her new apartment, I find a pad of paper and scrawl five simple words. I gently tuck it underneath her favorite pillow and hope she finds in before she sleeps tonight. She drops me off outside of L.A.X., and I make sure to give an extra long hug, and kiss both of her cheeks and the top of her head, before I grab my duffel bag and enter the terminal.

As I look back to her sitting in her car, I can only wish that she'll consider the words I had written on that small piece of paper: The offer is still open

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's now Christmas break during my junior year. She came back from California to spend the holidays, and to bring the news of a new boyfriend back in Cali named Dune. What a surfer boy. She shows me a picture, and he looks just like the stereotypical California heartthrob. Blond curly hair, beautiful blue eyes, typical shell choker around his neck, ripped muscles and abs, and one of those tans that you can only obtain in California. But luckily, she came back home by herself this time.

Christmas eve means only one thing for the band that no longer is. Every year, since we were 13 and she was 15, there would be a party at Club Expo. Star studded tables and the red carpet walk. The whole damn shebang. But I know she always looks forward to it, and being able to see Ashley and Vanessa always makes her happy.

We walk down the carpet, do all the press we feel like, and finally enter the club. It's just as packed as it always has been, but this year I can already tell there are more single guys. They don't know about Dune, and she'll probably never tell them.

I let her catch up with some of her girlfriends, while I go catch up with some old pals. The next time I turn to check on her, there are no ladies in sight, and she is crowded by hormonal guys. I can hear what they're asking her and excuse myself from the conversation that I'm not really paying attention to.

"We'll hey there pretty lady, how about you and I go back to my place after we're done here and have some fun?," one creep says.

Another, whom I'm more comfortable with, tells him to back off, but ends up asking her if she happens to be single.

Her appreciative smile falters, and her gaze settles on me, telling me silently that she has become uncomfortable in her current situation.

My feet take my swiftly through the crowd of men, all who shoot me glances of annoyance. I don't stop, however,until I reach my destination which is right next to her. My hand rests gently on the small of her back, letting her know that I'm here. She wraps her arm around my torso, and the guys all shoot glances at us, wondering silently if we are an item.

She leans her head on my shoulder, and whispers into my ear.

"Thank you."

I subltey nod my head to assure her that I've gotten the message.

We exit the club, hand in hand, to keep up the act, that I wish so much would be reality instead.

Cause you're my You're my,
My My true love, My whole heart
Please don't throw that away


-Flashback-


Friday, February 14,2003
Sand Box
Local Park
1700 hours

I cross the baseball field quickly, or as fast as my 8 year old legs will take me. She's sitting on the logs that outline the perimeter of the sandbox at our local playground, watching her step-brother Josh and two of my other best friends Thomas and David jump off the top of the monkey bars.

She's clearly upset, and I'm not sure why. Josh didn't know, and when I tried asking her at practice, she made up an excuse to leave the room.

My hands are folded across my chest, trying to hide what I had placed there before leaving my house. My cheeks are already red, just anticipating the reaction I will get from her once she registers in her mind what I've brought her.

I've approached her now, and I lightly step over the log and sit down quietly next to her. She turns and looks at me to acknowledge that I'm here. She smiles, but it's not the same smile that I have grown to love. She smiles, but the happiness does not reach her eyes like it normally does.

Something is not right.

"Hey," I said, trying to break the tension that has built.

She says it back, but there is no enthusiasm in her voice. I ask her what's wrong, but she replies with a shrug and a quick, "nothing". But with her, nothing is always something.

"Oh...well...," my face flushes, and she looks at me with curiosity, all hints of sadness momentarily disappeared.

She smiles again, barely able to fake her own happiness.

"Just spit it out Nat."

I look at her, take a deep breath, and start. "I don't know why you're upset, but you're making me worry. You're one of my best friends, and I hope you know that you can tell me anything. Even if I'm just a 8 year old, I've been told I'm a good listener. But today's Valentines Day, and you look like the kind of girl who needs a valentine right now. I guess what I'm really trying to say is, will you be my valentine?"

I close my eyes tight, and unfold my arms so that the homemade valentine is in front of her. It took me a while to make, but the design is simple enough to make it look as if I didn't take to much time at all. I had cut a heart out if red construction paper, and another smaller half a heart out of pink. On the pink one, I wrote in purple glitter pen My heart on the larger red heart, I wrote My heart with you in my life. I thought it was sweet and a caring thing for me to do, but if any of my friends saw it, they would tease me forever.

I keep my eyes shut for a few more seconds, and hope desperately that she won't laugh at me, and tear up my gift, then throw it in the trash. I don't hear anything, and slowly open my eyes, only to be shocked by what I see. There are tears running down her cheeks, and I instantly feel like punishing my self for upsetting her.

"Woah, what's wrong? Did I do this to you? I'm so sorry."

"No...no Nat. Don't worry, I'm crying because I'm happy and touched that you would do something like this for me. Nobody has ever been this sweet to me." She smiles, and she genuinely looks happy. She smiles, and her eyes smile too.

-End Flashback-


Cause I'm here, for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

-Flashback-

March 21,2011
Nat Wolff's room
Wolff apartment
2215 hours

"You can't keep running away from your problems," I yell," Just because some idiot broke up with you, doesn't mean that you can just hop town!"

I can tell that she's angry with me, but even at this moment, I can't help from thinking about exactly how beautiful she is.

"You don't get it Nat. You've never had your heart broken into a million gazillion pieces."

I literally have to bite my tongue to keep from saying that's what happens every time I see her with another guy.

"You don't know how it feels to walk past the grocery story, and start crying. Or walking past some homeless guy, and remembering how generous your ex-boyfriend used to be. Seth broke up with me Nat, for my best friend. How would you like it, if Cooper went out with the girl that you loved?"

I stare at her, dumbstruck that she would go that far.

"Huh? Exactly. Right now Nat, all that New York has left to offer me is bad memories and greasy hot dogs."

"What about all of the good memories? What about the time we met up with the Jonas Brothers outside the TRL studio? Or when we accidentally fell asleep on one of the benches in Central Park?
Don't they mean anything to you?"

"Yeah Nat, they do. But if I walk by the TRL studio, I'll also remember when Sam and I met Zac Efron, and then I'll remember why I hate my best friend. And if I walk through Central Park, I'll pass by the fountain and remember when Seth asked me if I would be his girlfriend."

I mumble something inaudible.

"What was that?" she asked.

I took a deep breath, and started again.

"I said, don't I mean anything to you?"

She sighed and her face relaxed a little bit. She took a step towards me and I took one towards her. She outstretched her arms, and I opened mine so that she could sob into my chest.

"Nat, you mean the world to me. You really do. But you have to understand where I coming from on this. If I were doing that whole scale thing that you see on TV when a person can't figure out what to do, I would put the biggest weight I could find on your side, and only one pound for every bad memory I had here."

"You wouldn't win Nat."

I sigh and continue to gently stroke her hair. She continues crying and I begin to join in with her.

"Just tell me you'll stay. Please tell me you'll stay, even if you don't mean it.

"I'm sorry Nat, I can't do that to you."

-End Flashback-


Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

"Hey Nat!" she says.

I smile at her from behind my book. She's already home from her freshman year at college, but my school year hasn't finished yet.
Dune the surfer boy came back with her, but she found him flirting with a girl when they were out shopping yesterday. She's been staying over at my apartment 'cause he doesn't know where I live and she doesn't want him to find her. She's the type of girl who gets jealous easily, and she got mad at him for ignoring her and talking to another girl.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Can you do me a favor?"

I set my book down on the table and lean forward in my chair.

"Anything. What do you need?"

"Well, Allie is having her annual start of summer party tonight, and Dune is gonna be there. But if he's going to go by himself, I wanna make him jealous that he ignored a beautiful girl like me. So if you could be my date tonight, and be all intimate with me, maybe he'll be all pissed and realize what a mistake he made."

She lost me at intimate.

"Wait, what do you mean by be intimate?"

"Well like, you have to be all feeling me, and kissing me, and like make it seem like we're totally in love with each other."

I start to blush, and my palms start sweating. This is the kind of thing that I wish we could do every single day. It's what I dream about when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake. It's exactly what I've wanted since I was 6 years old. OK maybe six is a little to young to want that kind of stuff, but you know what I mean.

"So will you help me Nat?"

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat, and put a genuine smile on my face.

"Yeah, sure."

Four hours rolled around quickly, and by the time I knew it, it was time to head over to Allie's house. She's wearing a short black cocktail dress, that looks incredibly sexy on her. We drive up to Allie's super huge house, her mom is editor of Vogue magazine, and give the valet dude my keys.

I help her out of the car, and lead her inside to socialize with a bunch of older teenagers I don't really know. My hand is pressed against the small of her back, and her arm is wrapped around my torso. We walk through the huge mahogany doors, only to have our ear drums blasted with the music the DJ is spinning in the corner. Dune the Surfer Boy is in the corner too, dancing with some slutty looking chick. She spots him also, and instantly gets a determined look on her face.

"Come on," she says, and drags me onto the dance floor.

By the time we make our way through the crowd, and into a spot where Dune the Surfer Boy can see us clearly, the fast song ends and a slow one has taken it's place. I place my hands on her hips, and she wraps hers around my neck. Her head lays against my shoulder, and she sighs contentedly. We twirl around to our own beat, and I almost forget that this is all just an act.

I catch "Surfer boy's" eye, and look away quickly.With her ear right next to my mouth, I quickly whisper what I've seen. I feel her lips turn into a smile against my neck and she slightly lifts her head to see if what I said was true. She smirks and pulls away form me as the song comes to an end.

I begin to ask why, but then notice Allie coming in our direction.

"Hey Strawberry and Bananas, what's up with you two?"

She's called the two of us Strawberry and Bananas for as long as I can remember. It never seizes to amaze me what kind of weird things come out of that girl's head. But she's a good friend. Allie's always been there for her, especially when she got pushed around in middle school. And for that, I owe her big time.

"Hey egg head," I say," what's crackin'?" We keep a straight face for a couple of seconds before breaking out into one of our "you had to be there" laughs.

We stop laughing when we hear the other member of our little party mutter " I can't believe these are my best friends."

"Hey," Allie says," You're just lucky that Bananas and I don't ditch you to hang around with miss Blueberries over there. I've heard Bananas and Blueberries make a good smoothie."

She sticks her tongue out at Allie and then puts her hand on my chest. My heart starts beating faster, and I desperately hope she cannot feel that.

"Yeah well Strawberries and Bananas make a better smoothie."

"True, true. So Nat," Allie says, "Have you found a new ingredient to add to your life."

I chuckle a little bit at how stupid our conversation must sound to people walking past us.

"Um... let's just put it this way. I'm still just a banana smoothie."

"Well I hate to break up your little "fruit salad", but peaches is watching us, Nat, and we aren't looking like a totally in love couple right now."

"Wait a second," Allie says, " Who's peaches?"

I shrug and set my mind to think about who the mysterious "peaches" is. Allie and I only have to think about two seconds before we both look at each other, realization in our eyes.

Simultaneously we say, "Surfer Boy."

"Well then Strawberry and Bananas, I'll leave you two alone so you can make peaches jealous."

Two teenagers look at us all weird, and I turn my attention back to the girl at my side.

"Well you heard egghead, lets go piss off some peaches," I stop myself, "Okay, that sounded stupid."

She laughs and we go find something to eat.

We load up on cocktail weenies and other random finger foods, then make our way to find a seat. As we scope the massive room for some where to sit, my eyes settle upon a lone chair. I point to it with a weenie toothpick, and we head over there. When we reach the chair, I stand next to it, letting her sit down.

"Don't be stupid Nat, I'll sit on your lap."

I almost choke on my pizza roll. Did she really just say that?

"Well come on Mr. Banana's I don't have all day."

I swallow my nerves and allow her to sit on my lap. For a while we just sit there, watching everyone watch us. We eat our poor excuse for a real dinner, and attempt to look convincing. For the most part, we enjoy each others company. Until he starts walking our way. I immediately tense up, and am sure she can feel it. She turns to bury her head in my neck, kissing it too. I almost drop my cup full of punch, but my reflexes help me to catch it. She whispers in my ear through her teeth.

"Start kissing me Nat."

I respond as if in a trance, putting my cup down on the table. My hand moves up to cup the back of her neck, and I turn my head to kiss behind her ear.

"Now what?"

She's kissing up my jaw line, making her way tortuously slow towards my lips. She pauses quickly, and mutters something so fast, I almost don't catch it.

"Put your hands on my back and turn me so I'm straddling you."

I do as she says, and my lips find their way to her shoulder and back up to her mouth. My eyes are closed, so I can't really tell if Surfer Boy is still watching us. I push my tongue against her lips, and she moans softly, before opening her mouth. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was really enjoying this. But she's always been a good actress.

"Let's leave," she mumbles into my ear, then lightly flicks her tongue against it.

"Huh?"

"If we leave now," she kisses me, "He'll wonder what we're gonna do next."

"Gotcha" I kiss her again and then begin to stand up. Still kissing her, I feel around for our trash, and dump it in the can next to the table. While still making out, I leader her towards the door, making sure that we pass Surfer boy on the way. We still keep up the act, even as we're walking down the stairs, only stopping to give the valet dude, the card he had handed us when we arrived.

When the guy brought around my car, I pulled out 45 bucks and handed it to him, keeping one hand on the girl in my arms. We only stop making out long enough for me to open the passenger side door, and for me to notice Mr. Peaches watching us from the huge window in Allie's living room.

When we arrive back at Casa Wolff, she has already become nervous that she permanently ruined her relationship. I tell her not to worry, and that if he passes up a good chance with a beautiful girl, it's his problem. She asks me how to tell if he's truly sorry, and I tell her that if she has more than 15 missed calls from him by the time we wake up in the morning, he's clearly sorry. She showers and gets ready to go to sleep, while I throw together a make-shift bed on the floor of my room. I strip down to only my boxers, and throw on one of my old white T-shirts. By the time she's finished in the bathroom, I'm drifting in and out of consciousness. She climbs into my bed, and turns out the lamp on my bedside table.

"Goodnight Nat," she whispers.

I answer with a "humph" and within seconds I'm in dreamland.

When I wake up the next morning, she's already in the shower. Someones stupid phone is vibrating, and I'm not pleased. I reach for my phone, hidden underneath my bed, and realize, it's not ringing. I rub the sleep out of my eyes, and sit up, grabbing her phone. It's stopped vibrating by now, but the backlight hasn't turned off quite yet.

She clearly hasn't checked her phone yet this morning, as the screen shows my worst fear./color

35 missed alerts.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

"You don't have to go back to California just because Surfer Boy's going home today!" I yell. "The fall semester doesn't start for another month."

Her hand is already on the doorknob, and she's on the verge of leaving.

"He's my boyfriend Nat, after all that the two of us put him through in the past weeks, I owe it to him to spend the rest of summer with him. And stop calling him Surfer Boy, his name is Dune."

With that, she turns the knob, walks out of the room, and out of my life. It takes about six seconds for me to realize that letting her go without an apology would be the biggest mistake of my life, so I run to my window and prop it open. Our doorman opens the door and she steps put, tears streaming down her face.

"Wait," I yell.

She turns her head up towards me.

"You can't stop me Nat, I'm leaving with my boyfriend."

"For Pete's Sake," I throw up my arms," I'm your best friend."

From behind me my little brother says something.

"Who's Pete Nat?"

"Nobody," I snap.

"Well sorry for asking," he says and then sulks back into his room with his glass of milk.

I sigh and turn my attention back to the sidewalk below.

"Just wait a few minutes and let me get something from my room. I'll be down there in a second."

She sighs impatiently, and looks at her watch.

"If you're not down here in 3 minutes, I'm leaving."

I smile slightly and then run towards my room to find something. I had gotten her a locket one year but never gave it to her because I didn't have any pictures to put in there. It wasn't until a couple months ago that I found the perfect pictures to describe the kind of relationship we had. But I can't seem to find it.

2 minutes...

I throw out all of the junk from under my bed, and when it's not there, I empty all of my drawers. I can't find it.

"ALEX!"

He appears in my doorway with his ipod in his hands. I motion for him to take his earphones out.

1 minute 30 seconds...

"Oh, now you want to talk to me."

"Now's not the time. Where is that locket?"

"What locket?"

"The locket that I've been obsessing over for the past year or so. The locket that if I don't find, will stay here as a reminder of what could have been!"

"Chill bro, have you looked on the back of your door?"

I slam my door closed, right in his face, and grab the locket off the doorknob. When I reopen the door, he's standing there still, rubbing his nose.

I push past him, and run towards the door.

"Aren't you gonna say sorry?"

"Not now Alex," I say, pushing the door open.

Before I close the door, I hear him mocking me.

"It's always 'Not now Alex'. Whatevs."

But I don't care. I rush towards the stairwell, not bothering to wait on the stupid elevator.

30 seconds...

When she says I only have 3 minutes, she means 3 minutes.

25...24...23...22...21...20...

I trip over the bottom stair of the second floor's flight. The locket flies over the rail, and down towards the basement. I run down the stairs now, taking them two at a time.

8...7...6...5...4...3...2...

My hand clasps around the tiny golden heart, and I pivot on my foot to go back up towards the ground level. The door-dude opens the door and I run out onto the pavement.

She's not there.

I look sideways, until I spot her crossing the unusually busy street. She's digging through her purse, trying to find her cell phone.

That's why she doesn't notice the car swerving across the road.

I drop the locket and sprint to where she is pushing her out of the way and allowing myself to succumb to the darkness that follows.

August 8, 2012
Nat Wolff's Private Room
New York General Hospital
1945 hours

-2 weeks after the accident-

Everything is so distant to me. It's like I'm in a box in the very back of someones closet, only hearing what is loud enough to pass through the cardboard, and wooden barriers surrounding me.

I don't know why it's like this. Something must of happened to me. I might have died. It's creepy not knowing what's going on around me, but there is always a bright light around the corner; it's kinda comforting.

Somebody is always here, I can feel their presence around. And they talk to me; they probably don't know that I can hear them. They seem kind of sad. It makes me sad too. I wish I could comfort them.

There's this one person who's here all the time; always talking to me. She's probably here now, watching me.

I can hear her now. She sounds sad.

"I'm so, so sorry Nat. This is all my fault. If I hadn't have been stupid and was fighting with you, you'd never be here. I really hate myself Nat, I really do. I was such a jerk to you, and all you've ever done was care for me. Ever since we met, you've been there for me, and all I've done was run away. I've run away when I've been hurt, I've run away when I've been mad, I've run away from you, and from my feelings for you.

"I've always told myself that falling for you would be the biggest mistake of my life. And until it actually started happening, I believed that. I was scared that allowing myself to finally love you, would make our friendship weird. But then I started dating, and our friendship got weird anyways. Seth came and went, and now Dune is here. He's a nice guy Nat. I wish you would see that. But the truth is, he's probably just another distraction. They've all been. Ever since Bobby, I've been trying to find guys good enough to replace you. But nobody's like you Nat. And maybe if you had been an impulsive 12 year old, I wouldn't be here, pouring my heart out to my unconscious best friend. Maybe, we'd be dating, and maybe I'd never had met Seth, and maybe I'd be at Columbia, and maybe we would get married. But I don't live for maybes Nat. Just like you always told me there is no "what if." You always said there were only two options.

"I could say, maybe he'll wake up, or maybe he'll be acccepted into Stanford to be the smart-ass he doesn't want anybody to know he is, or maybe he'll go to UCLA, but that's not a good way to think. I know you'll wake up, and I know you're going to Stanford. Partially, because your little brother opened up the letter you got last week. But that's beside the point. The doctors keep saying there's little we can do for you anymore, but they suggested that I talk to you.

"Remember when we were younger, probably around 6 and 8, and we would play house? None of the other guys wanted to be the "Daddy", but you alwayssaid you would. I used to wonder if you liked feeling responsible, or you would pretend in your head that we were really married with kids. But I would always tell our "kids" stories, and you would listen too, mostly because you couldn't read well. So know I'm going to tell you a story Nat, and if you can hear me, I really want you to pay attention to this one. It's a true story, that even you can relate to. So the story goes like this: One day, a girl and her best friend were lounging in his living room, when her boyfriend called and told her that she needed to get home so they can go back to California. The best friend got super pissed and they started having a fight about who means more to the girl and it got ugly fast. The girl left, but the best friend, persuaded her to hear him out. But the girl wasn't about to get played, so she only gave him three minutes. The girl stood there, silently crying, knowing that his heart was breaking as much as hers was, but she knew that if she stayed it would show him a sign of weakness, and decided to leave after the three minutes were up. So she crossed the road. And while she was crossing, she was still crying, so she was digging through her purse, trying to find a Kleenex. If it had been any other day, the girl probably would have looked twice before crossing but she was so hung up over the fight, that it must have slipped her mind. That's why she didn't notice the drunk driver. But the girl must of had a guardian angel around. Her best friend, who should have been mad at her, risked his own life and saved her. So now, she's waiting in the hospital, hoping that he'll wake up for the coma he's in and telling her stupid stories, hoping he'll hear her.

"If you can hear me Nat, I want you to know that no matter what happens, we'll always be best friends, no maybes involved. And I'm crying now Nat. I know you hate it when I cry, but I just can't help it. So please wake up Nat, I don't think I can survive without you here. I know what it's like to lose my best friend. But Sam was dating my boyfriend behind my back. You might never wake up. And that would kill me inside. "

There's pressure on my stomach now, and for some reason, I'm getting all wet. The comforting white light is moving farther away from me, and I want to just reach out and grab it so it will stay with me. But my fingers just twitch. Sounds are becoming clearer now and I can tell something is crying. My eyes start to twitch slightly, and they open. I take in my surroundings, the walls are white and there is medical equipment strung out around the room, and notice how uncomfortable this bed is.

That's when I see her.

She's the one sobbing. She's the one laying her head in my lap. She's the one who's in pain right now. She's the one that's been with me through it all.

She's the only one I could ever love.

My hand moves toward her head, and I stroke her hair lightly.

She pauses, takes a deep intake of breath, and her head shoots up.

"Oh My Gosh."

I give her a lopsided smile, and try to say something, yet nothing comes out.

She leaps onto the bed and wraps her arms tightly around my neck, as if she never wants to let go. I chuckle lightly and swallow so my dry mouth allows me to talk.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

"Rosalina."


That was a challenge for me to write, and I think some of it could have been better. It was my first story though. So what'd you think of it? Review please :)

-M