The Secrets of Gil and Sara

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI. I am just borrowing the characters.

A/N - This story is set after Gil and Sara officially became a couple.(so season 6 "Way to Go") This is before Sara gets kidnapped though. (at least this beginning is – depending on how long this story continues - If it comes to a point where I'm referencing a particular episode I may indicate which one I'm referencing (if I remember the epy name. If will definitely reference "Living or Dead Doll" If my story gets that far)

- Butterflied & the episode that Nick was buried in is also mentioned -

Gil Grissom, age 49 and Sara Sidle age 33 were officially together. They were two very happy people who finally found love. Neither of them had had much of a social life during their time at CSI. Gil dated the odd woman, but it never went very far because he was usually called away on "bug duty" One of Sara's previous relationships – Hank the EMT, broke her heart after she found out he had been cheating on his girlfriend Elaine with her. Since Hank, Sara rarely stayed long with a guy because she was afraid he'd hurt her.

Gil looked at his younger lover and sighed. "Why did we wait so long Sara"

Sara gave him a direct look. "Gil, I wanted to get together a long time ago, but you were the one who pushed me away."

Grissom didn't reply. Sara knew that he had been hurt by a woman sometime in the past because she had overheard he and Catherine talking about it. She had never been the kind to pry into a man's personal life.

Grissom ran his hand over his hair and sat up in bed. "Sara, there's a reason why I held off from a relationship with you." He began.

Sara sat up too and faced him. "Tell me what it is, why were you so afraid of getting close to me? I would never hurt you the way you did to me over the years." She said softly.

Gil sucked in his breath. Oh Sara if you only knew how much I wanted you and the only reason I brushed you off was because I was afraid.

"Sara. When we first met I looked at you and fell in love with you. But as a professor and student I knew we wouldn't be able to be a couple….." he began but then his cell phone rang. He shut it off and looked at her.

"Love at first sight?" she inquired.

Gil looked a little sheepish. "Yeah – I know it is nuts. I don't usually believe in that"

"I ignored my feelings and then the conference ended and I was no longer your teacher and before I could ask you out, you flew back home to San Francisco."

Sara stayed silent. She knew better than to interrupt him while he was sharing.

"Time went by and no I didn't forget about you, but I figured you'd be involved with someone else, a beauty like you….. So I pursued one of my colleagues, an equal, we dated for a little while on the night I was about to ask her to move in with me and possibly get married, I went to her house and was given a "Dear John" letter by her door man. I had given this girl a job, trained her to be a better CSI , given her my heart and soul and she dumps me without even a real good by. She had played me for a fool and after that, I gave up women for a very long time. I buried myself in my work as a CSI and hardly ever even went out. "

Sara whistled and nodded. "I can understand you felt betrayed" she said softly. "but I would never have done that to you Gil"

"I dated her for four years and each time I brought up going to her place for supper, she said no, as if she had something to hide. We always spent the night at my apartment - never hers. The only time I ever went to her home was that night in question when her doorman gave me that note she left. Turns out, she was not only married but she had a child too. This kid was 3 years old. She was living a double life."

"Did her husband know about you?" Sara asked softly.

Grissom nodded. "Yes, he was fully aware of me. Her husband also worked for CSI, he was a lab tech. But after this ordeal we transferred him to another lab."

"What finally made you see the light and decide to ask me out as more than just a friend" Sara asked.

Grissom looked at her. "Well after Nicky was kidnapped and put in that box, I realized that life was too short to waste…. I decided to take the bull by the horns and risk my job and my dignity and ask you out as more than a friend. Sara, when I saw Debbie Marlin lying there on the floor in that position, I was scared. She resembled you so much and then when it was revealed that one of her lovers was that older Doctor at the hospital…. It also scared me…" he stopped because Sara's features turned stony.

"What? Don't tell me you heard that speech …." He said, his face reddening a little bit.

"I heard it Gil. That whole speech you said to Lurie about not being able to risk your career …." She said.

Grissom sighed. "Obviously I …." He couldn't finish.

"Gil, what are we going to tell the others?"

"Nothing"

"Nothing?"

"Not yet. We'll see how long we can keep it a secret" he said.

A/N: Ok I have no clue where I'm going with this story. I will continue when I can or when I get more inspiration. I'm loosing inspiration with Mindy Bimms which is why I wrote this one, but I will continue both when I'm inspired. Please review!