Disclaimer: I do not own.
One More Conversation
The forbidden forest loomed over the lone figure standing on the edge debating her decision. Once she thought about it, it didn't seem like such a good idea. Honestly, what was she thinking about going into the forest. Not that she hadn't been in here before. Her first year she'd had detention with Hagrid, then in fifth year they'd seen the thestrals, not to mention her meeting Grawp, and then leading Umbridge in and escaping with Harry when the centaurs turned on them. No it wasn't exactly a lack of experience stopping her from going in, it was something else.
She pushed the feeling away squaring her shoulders; she pulled the invisibility cloak on, muttered, "Lumos," and strode into the forest. The path led her deep into the forest, she had a general idea of where she was going, she took a deep breath breaking from the path at where she thought was the right spot.
Harry had been a bit sketchy on details of where exactly to get off the path. Of course she didn't push him; she didn't want him to know what she was doing.
The trees formed a tight canopy completely blocking the stars and moon. The glow at the end of her hand was her only light as she came to the clearing Harry had told her about.
Oh how she hoped the acromantula's hadn't returned to their lair yet. Maybe they had moved on to find another home, not likely she thought as she heard a rustling movement.
Hermione stood frozen to the spot, her heart racing, her breathing shallow she strained her ears for another sound. This was probably not her brightest idea coming into the forbidden forest at night on her own. Not that she needed someone else to protect her she was capable of that, especially after everything she had been through.
Just having someone else there would have been a comfort, but who was she going to ask, honestly. Who wanted to go into the forbidden forest in the middle of the night, in the dark, it was after all forbidden for a reason.
Ron would have scoffed calling her mental, and she couldn't bring herself to ask Harry. He had finally defeated Voldemort, all the seriously dangerous death eaters were locked safely away in Azkaban, and the dementors were taken care of as well. No Harry didn't need to be bothered with this, he needed rest, he could finally relax; besides he would have asked too many questions and probably would have told her to forget it.
A solo adventure this time around. Hermione bent lower to the ground searching, the place looked like the right area. The tiny beam of light streaming from the end of her wand provided very little to work with, but she saw a glint.
A few paces to the left brought her directly over one of the hallows. Relief spread through her tense body as she picked up the ring. The ring Harry had been sure was encased in the snitch, oh how she had scoffed at him. The deathly hallows really did exist and she had been flabbergasted.
Harry had finally confided in her how he had used the stone to find the courage to face death willingly. Her eyes still teared up at the thought of Harry going through that alone. Oh well that was the past, he was alive.
Hermione forced her thoughts to focus on the task ahead, the ring felt cool in her palm. Here it was Marvolo Gaunt's ring with the resurrection stone cracked in the middle.
More noises filtered into her consciousness, she turned making her way out of the forest, then out of the Hogwart's Grounds. The castle's outline was visible through the darkness, but she didn't spare a glance at it, painful memories.
Once outside the gate she disapparated to another forest, where she had pitched her tent in a secluded spot. The invisibility cloak came off, and was quickly stored in a safe place, if she lost it, the boy who lived would murder her. All of her friends believed her to be finding her parents in Australia, and she would do that eventually. She just had to know, had to find answers to her unanswered questions.
Nervously, the ring rotated three times in her slightly shaking fingers, her eyes closed tightly. Skepticism, would not allow her to fully believe this was going to work.
"Well?" a voice asked.
Her eyes fluttered open and she stared. It worked; he was standing right in front of her with a contemptuous expression.
"Not who you were expecting, Miss Granger?" he sneered.
Hermione was a little shocked, a dead person was talking to her and she had summoned him here. He looked the same. The greasy hair hanging like curtains around his face, the beady cold black eyes staring down his hook nose at her. "Professor?" she asked desperately.
"Not anymore," Severus Snape retorted.
A dozen questions danced in her head, things she wanted to ask, and this came out, "You're really here?"
"Come now, Miss Granger, surely you did not actually summon me here for impertinent questions?"
Same old Snape. "Of course not," she answered shakily, slightly intimidated.
Another pause of silence.
"Then why am I here?"
"I need to know..." she trailed off. Licking her lips, this was her moment this is why she went into the forbidden forest. Here was her opportunity so why was she so reluctant.
"I'm not surprised," Snape began when Hermione began floundering, "I thought I would have to face someone, but I did not expect it to be you."
"Yes well, here I am," she said lamely and quickly blurted, "Why did you let Voldemort kill you?"
"Let's get straight to it then. I had no choice, surely you realize this as you were there."
"You didn't even attempt to fight."
"Tell me Miss Granger, what could I have done?"
"You still had important things to tell Harry, what would have happened if we weren't there, and what if he hadn't got your memories?"
"I can't answer those questions. That is not what happened, Potter was there."
"But..."
"But nothing, now unless you have something else, I would like to return to rest in peace."
Hermione bristled, these were not the questions at the foremost part of her brain, and nevertheless they had flowed from her mouth.
"Why did you hate him?"
Snape paced back and forth his black cloak billowing behind him. "Isn't it obvious?"
"Humor me," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"He was James Potter's son." No elaboration.
"But he belonged to Lily as well. You spent years protecting him, how could you hate him?"
"Lily," Snape whispered. "The only reason I protected him. For her I would have done anything."
"He was part of her, her blood in him, why the hate?"
"Because Miss Know-it-all, he also possessed traits from James." His voice had lost the slight dreamy quality from moments before. "Surely, you know all of this, you saw my memories."
"No, I didn't. Harry was the only one."
Snape frowned. Surely she was jesting, but then why am I here? "Is this what you brought me here for, to make me relive these things that should be obvious to you."
"Look," Hermione snapped, "my best friend is out there telling the world that you were not evil incarnate, you did not murder Dumbledore and that you were the bravest man he has ever known."
"You don't believe him? You who have always followed Potter without question into every situation trustingly, and now you don't believe him? A little late don't you think?"
He was mean. "All those years, since our first he wanted me to believe that Dumbledore was mistaken in trusting you, after our 6th I finally believed you were dark. Then he has this story about how the death was planned and that you were on our side. He is telling the world you are a hero, and no I don't believe it. He's making a huge sacrifice for you and the repercussions are going to be terrible. No one wants to believe in you, there was so much left unanswered. I have to protect him," her words rushed from her.
Severus Snape looked down upon the cleverest witch for her age, these questions were lies in a manner.
"Miss Granger," he said commanding her attention. "Ask what you want to know, but let's not waste time with useless chatter."
"But Professor," she said scathingly, "you have all the time in the world."
Smart ass, he thought. His lips formed a tight line. He was dead, he wanted to rest in peace, and he deserved it after everything. Why did she have to do this to him, surely she had someone else to talk to. Why him? They never shared a fond moment.
"Answer my question."
"What if I refuse."
"Then by all means go back to where you came from then."
He mumbled his response so low, she barely made out the words.
"I'm sorry I didn't catch that."
"I can't."
"Oh," she faked surprise. "Why not?"
Cruel, oh she was cruel. "You have to release me."
"Right, so let's cut the crap shall we, answer my questions or you can make yourself comfortable."
He did not like this, it went against the grain to give in. "Fine, but when I answer your questions, you will answer mine."
"Yours?"
"You may have yourself convinced of why you are here harassing me, but I know better. There is more to it and if I must suffer through your barrage of dribble, then you most certainly will return the favor."
All she had to do was drop the ring, the connection would break, she didn't have to put up with this. He had managed to turn the tables without a blink of an eye. Git, she thought. This man infuriated her beyond belief and Harry was out there spouting his new found unyielding faith in him. Ugh!
"I hated Harry Potter," Snape took her silence as assent, the connection remained unbroken, "because he represented everything that I could not have. I loved Lily Evans since we were ten years old. All through school we were friends, I watched her mature into an incredibly strong witch, watched as she developed a strong character, then I watched as someone stole her away from me. The hotshot quidditch player who ruffled his hair on purpose. It was disgusting."
Hermione remained quiet as she watched his restless pacing, words flowing unhampered from his lips. Mind racing, unbidden thoughts flowed into her.
"Then I did something unforgivable, one word that was all it took for Lily to choose her separate path as I watched from the sidelines. She lived her life. And I followed my path into darkness. It was I who overheard the prophecy, told my master," he said with self hatred. "I who loved her led to her death. She was supposed to be spared, but I was naïve then. Only then. She died but my love for her did not. My decision was not easy I became a spy. Dumbledore my only true ally, for I had seen firsthand the down side of friendship and the consequences of believing in your friends." The words tumbled before he could stop them. No one had ever listened to him, except Albus. Thank Merlin, he no longer felt emotion, the guilt would drown him.
"Then there was Harry. He had her eyes, it broke my heart every time I looked into those emerald depths. She was there, my self-hatred bled through to hatred for Harry because James Potter was there as well. My guilt made me protect him, but I could not care for him. James Potter stole everything, I would have been a different man had I..." he trailed off.
"Had you had Lily?" Hermione asked. "Did you ever tell her?"
Finally, he understood. Her pretext for protecting Harry. Oh Merlin, she didn't even know.
"No, I never did, it was too late." He hesitated, this was completely out of character for him. "You should though."
Hermione's head jerked up, her eyes opened wide in surprise. "Wh, wha, what?" she spluttered.
"Not so clever tonight are we. Transparent Miss Granger."
"No idea what you are babbling about." The ring almost slipped through her fingers.
"Look, just tell the boy," he snapped. "Do not live your life wondering, it will eat you from the inside out."
"He's just my best friend."
"True, I thought you had those feelings for Mr. Weasley."
Her eyes narrowed in a glare, how dare he.
"Part of the deal remember."
"I could just drop this stone," she threatened.
Like he wanted to stay here in the first place. "Do it."
He called her bluff, she sniffed, "Not yet. I," she placed an extra emphasis on the word, "am not finished with you yet."
"I have told you everything."
"Why didn't you tell her?"
Almost everything. "I was a coward." Hence why he was not placed in Gryffindor, although Albus hinted, but no he had never told her.
Hermione knew she was also a coward, he was calling her out. Why did she do this? Why?
"Come now," his earlier tone returned all pretense of niceness gone. "You are a Gryffindor are you not? Brave of heart."
"Shut up!" she screamed cutting off his words.
"No, if you have a chance then tell him, do not drown yourself in misery, it is a new beginning..." his words stopped as he disappeared.
The ring lay on the floor of the tent. Hermione pulled her knees up to her chest and succumbed to the tears, the pain, the unknown lurking. She spent a dark night lost in her head with Snape's words dancing through it all.
The sunrise took her breath away, the golden beauty of a new day dawning, a new beginning.
The charms were gone, the tent packed away, her face freshly scrubbed, her courage about to be tested she turned into the nothingness and arrived at number 12 Grimmauld Place. She opened the door of her home breathing deeply.
He sat in the library with a book in his lap, eyes closed lost in memories. She savored every detail etching it into her memory. She clung to his image.
He sensed her eyes on him, he opened his to find her there. A smile lit his face traveling up to his eyes causing them to sparkle. She took a deep breath, steeling herself she said:
"Harry, we need to talk."
