Um… this is rated T for a good reason. Namely, suggestive dialogue.

But don't worry. No one's actually doing… that…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. None of the songs, artists, people, or characters mentioned.


Gotcha! ;)


Reyna was wondering exactly why in the world she'd ended up in this mess.

No, not why, she thought. I know why.

Why was because of a certain blond-haired son of Jupiter, who was currently attempting to hide in her room.

Why was because he'd just knocked on her door, and when she'd opened it, he sang, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but—," here, he stopped singing and resumed normal speech, "Can I hide in your room? It's an emergency. 'Kay thanks, I love you, and you're the best person ever!"

With that, he darted into her room, stopping briefly to give her a quick hug, and then diving underneath her bed.

"Wh-what? I never said yes!"

"You did just now." Jason's muffled voice came from underneath her bunk.

"You know, I only met you a few days ago," Reyna said. "And you're already comfortable enough around me to go hiding in my room? Underneath my bed?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

The daughter of Bellona rolled her eyes. "You know Hylla will kill you, right?"

"Um… that's kind of why I'm hiding here."

"You WANT to be killed?"

"No! She's already mad at me and I just thought I'd be safe here!"

"Why on earth would you think that?" Reyna demanded. "Hylla shares this room with me!"

"It's the last place she'd look," Jason's voice retorted.

Reyna sighed. "There's no way I'm going to get you out, is there?"

"Nope. Not while my heart's still beating."

"Want me to fix that for you, then?"

"How?"

"With my knife."

"No thanks. I'm good."

Reyna rolled her eyes. Even though they were both twelve, she seemed to be eons more mature than him. Maybe she was just mature, or maybe he was just especially irritating. Either way, there seemed to be years and years between the two of them.

"I wonder what your mental age is," she murmured to herself.

"I'm twelve," Jason said.

"I said mental age."

"Exactly. I'm twelve."

"But I'm twelve! Where would that leave me?"

"Um… at around seventy-two?"

Her eyes widened. "Why, you little—" She dropped to her knees and reached underneath her bed, grabbing for him.

"NO! DON'T! SHE'LL TRACK ME DOWN AND HURT ME!"

"Hylla's the least of your worries right now!" she growled. She got her grip on one of his arms and started pulling.

An idea formed inside Jason's mind. He started pulling back. Despite Reyna's considerable strength for someone her size, Jason was bigger and stronger. He'd been in training for longer than her, and she was still a bit skinny from her time being held captive by pirates—that was, if you believed her story.

"OH MY GODS—JASON! DON'T YOU DARE—"

Jason heard footsteps and voices outside. He recognized Dakota's slightly slurred bass instantly.

"What's all that noise?"

Bobby's voice could be heard too. "I don't know. Should we go in?"

"It's Hylla's room," Dakota answered. "Hey, Hylla, can we go in?"

"What are you, a vampire?" Bobby joked. "You can't cross thresholds without permission?"

"I call that manners and a proper upbringing," Dakota retorted.

Hylla's voice sighed. "If you must."

Jason, in desperation, jerked Reyna harder. She slid underneath the bed with him.

"JASON GRACE!" she shrieked.

He clamped his hand over her mouth, saying, "We don't want anyone to hear, now do we?"

She squirmed around, trying to get free. Jason put into effect his grappling training, pinning her down with his legs. Leg lock.

"Try getting out of that one," he muttered.

One of her arms got free. She punched him in the face.

"Oh gods! REYNA!" he groaned. He could see stars behind his eyelids. That was never a good sign. "Reyna!"

She socked him again. He grunted loudly.

The door burst open.

"HELP! GET HIM OFF OF ME!"

Bobby shook his head. "Shame, Jason. Trying to have your way with a twelve-year-old, are we?"

"I'm not—" he began to protest, but was cut off as Reyna hit him again. He moaned. "Oh, gods."

Reyna laughed at the look of pain that flickered across his face. "You want more of that? Come get some!"

Dakota frowned. "Please tell me you're not doing what it sounds like you're doing."

Hylla was puzzled. "What does it sound like they're doing?"

Jason smiled. He wanted revenge on her for punching him so many times. So he decided to just go along with Bobby and Dakota's false perceptions.

"REYNA! REYNA! YES! YES! OH, YES!" he shouted.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

He clapped his hand over her mouth again. "Oh, man. This feels so good."

She bit his hand, and he withdrew it quickly. She growled and pushed him.

Jason tumbled out from the cover of the bunk's bottom.

Dakota blinked. "Wait, what?"

Reyna crawled out, looking extremely irritable. "Never do that to me again."

"What? You didn't like it?" Jason raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.

"NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN, YOU FILTHY MONSTER!"

Bobby tilted his head to the side. "Was that real or fake?" He was thoroughly perplexed.

"Was what real or fake?" Hylla demanded.

"Oh, that was definitely real," Reyna snapped. "He just pulled me under with him and pinned me down and wouldn't let go!"

Jason grinned and spread his arms wide. "Sorry. I just took your little sister's virginity. Don't worry, it won't happen again." He winked.

With that, he left the room, leaving four wide-eyed faces staring after him.

Reyna flushed bright red. "He didn't—that's not what—"

"It's okay, Rey, we won't tell anybody," Bobby said.

Dakota nodded in agreement. "Your secret's safe with us."

Reyna growled in frustration and stormed after Jason. "JASON GRACE! YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Hylla broke the silence. "So Jason just…"

"Yeah. I think." Dakota looked ready to puke.

"Damn. Twelve years old. That kid is good."


Uh… I'm not sure exactly what point there was in me writing this, but… o.O

No. There was no actual… that in this odd one-shot.