Pain

Summary: Depressing thoughts of L.

AN: Please enjoy and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note nor any of the characters, if I did I would be one happy bitch.

Pain. It's always there and always undying. It takes many shapes, emotional, mental, love, and physical.

My body is a canvas of physical pain, always bruising, always bleeding, always begging.

My mind is the vortex of mental pain, always thinking, always remembering…always.

My soul is the abyss of emotional pain, always lonely, always depressed and always empty.

There is no room for love, even though it is an emotion, but different just the same. I have never felt love and have never been loved.

Actually no one has ever liked me remotely before, well that's not true I'm sure Watari likes me to some extent.

I have chased down the sinners and brought them to justice, I myself have sinned and have punished myself with the only thing I can. Pain. Little lines from the steak knife, little jabs from the razor and more than I can even think about. They help me more than anything. Sure I hide behind my sweets and intelligence, but they are nothing compared to my mental anguish, the agonizing torment of my soul.

I sometimes wish I had enough courage to just rid the world of myself and my eternal sin of life. I always stop at the last moment. Why? This I do not know. It is a puzzle all on it's own, one that I can never solve.

I sigh and continue one my miserable existence.

The End