Halloween Special. What happens when Grell and I get locked in a library?

(Scene opens to show CIEL PHANTOMHIVE writing at his desk; he looks up at the closed door at the sound of a voice yelling incoherently and getting progressively louder; SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS enters carrying FANGIRL05 over his shoulder; she shoves against his shoulders and the side of his head, trying to escape; he doesn't seem to notice)

FANGIRL: *clearly furious* ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME I SAID *she starts to beat both her fists against his shoulder* PUT ME DOWN!

*SEBASTIAN drops FANGIRL onto her back wordlessly and doesn't bother to look at her; she moans in pain for a second, then sits up and glares at him*

FANGIRL: I don't even know a word bad enough! *she stands quickly and readjusts her clothes*

SEBASTIAN: I caught this *tilts his head toward FANGIRL* skulking around your manor, young master.

FANGIRL: *points at SEBASTIAN, angry again* DON'T CALL ME "THIS"! THAT'S WHAT WILL CALLS GRELL WHEN HE FAILS BEYOND ALL MEASURE! *she crosses her arms and hunches her shoulders, pouting unhappily* And don't say I was skulking. I hate that word. It sounds ugly.

SEBASTIAN: *smirks* Well, then it fits you perfectly.

FANGIRL: *glares, looks at SEBASTIAN quickly* Bite me!

SEBASTIAN: You'd like that, wouldn't you?

FANGIRL: *disgusted* Pervert!

SEBASTIAN: *raises his eyebrow, smug* This from the girl that wants me to have sex with a thirteen - year - old boy?

CIEL: AHEM! *he glowers at FANGIRL, who finally seems to notice him* What are you doing here in the first place?

FANGIRL: What's it look like? *she beams brightly and spreads her arms wide* I'm on vacation!

CIEL: Why here of all places?

FANGIRL: *shrugs* Because; *she ducks behind SEBASTIAN and reappears in a small armoire* It's Halloween night- *she ducks back into the armoire and reappears in CIEL's top right desk drawer; he jumps, startled* I had no place to be - *she ducks back into the drawer; she lifts the visor on a suit of armor from the inside; she smiles* And what better place to spend Halloween night - *she lowers the visor and pops out of the top of SEBASTIAN's shirt, grinning widely* Than a nineteenth - century Victorian mansion with a real live demon running around? *points at the demon in question*

SEBASTIAN: *shocked and appalled* How did you get in there?

FANGIRL: *looks at SEBASTIAN, slightly contemptuous* Oh, who hasn't been in here? *she cranes her head forward* Oh no wait a minute; *she leans back, smiling sarcastically at SEBASTIAN* I came up through the wrong article of clothing.

*SEBASTIAN is not amused by FANGIRL's off - color joke; he grabs the top of her hair and pulls her out of his shirt; he proceeds to throw her against the side of CIEL's desk and crossly starts to re - button his shirt; FANGIRL groans for a second before turning around and folding her hands on CIEL's desk in a gesture of pleading*

FANGIRL: *begging shamelessly* C'mon Ciel, lemme stay! *she perks up slightly* Just lock me in the library all night, you won't even know I'm here! PLEASE? You paid for a foreign prostitute's gravestone, you must have enough goodness in you heart for thi-

CIEL: *has had more than enough* ALL RIGHT! You can stay here for tonight! *he turns back to his work* Sebastian, show her where the library is.

FANGIRL: YAY! *hugs CIEL tightly around his neck* Let's go, hell - slut! *she grabs SEBASTIAN's arm and pulls him out the door*


(SEBASTIAN and FANGIRL walk wordlessly down a hallway; SEBASTIAN does not look happy about his companion; FANGIRL skips merrily at his side in an Alois - ish manner)

FANGIRL: *spins around once* This is so great! It's my lifelong dream of the day to see what the inside of a rich Victorian - era Englishman's library looks like!

SEBASTIAN: *raises his eyebrow* 'Lifelong dream of the day'?

FANGIRL: *stops skipping* What? I don't stick with my decisions, okay? *thinks for a minute, then looks away from SEBASTIAN and pouts* Don't question my dialogue.

SEBASTIAN: *rolls his eyes* You remind me so much of Prince Soma.

FANGIRL: *glares at SEBASTIAN* Was that supposed to be an insult?

SEBASTIAN: *smirks down at FANGIRL* Perhaps.

(FANGIRL growls angrily; steam rises off of her head and shoulders; SEBASTIAN looks very pleased with himself; he blinks suddenly)

SEBASTIAN: Ah! Before I forget... *he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small gray box with a blue ribbon* A gift for you.

FANGIRL: Huh? *she looks surprised, then tilts her head curiously at the box; she flips the lid back* Ooh... *she lifts a necklace with an opal - and - garnet flower charm out of the box and looks at SEBASTIAN, confused* How come?

SEBASTIAN: *smiles at FANGIRL* Well, it was your birthday, wasn't it?

FANGIRL: *smiles, touched* Aww! *she hugs SEBASTIAN tightly around his shoulders* I love you when you get all nice like this!

SEBASTIAN: *sighs, rolls his eyes* I'll never understand human girls.

FANGIRL: *fastens the necklace around her neck* Me neither.

(SEBASTIAN and FANGIRL laugh briefly)


(SEBASTIAN opens a door)

SEBASTIAN: The library.

FANGIRL: *rushes past him* Neat! *she stops mid - stride and turns to SEBASTIAN* Hey, can I ask you something?

SEBASTIAN: *slightly annoyed* What?

FANGIRL: Why can't you be nice like that all the time?

SEBASTIAN: Why can't you be reasonable all the time?

FANGIRL: I asked you first!

SEBASTIAN: *sighs, then smirks* I have to keep up appearances. I've already carved out my niche as the cool, competent butler who, as you've often put it, "owns you all".

FANGIRL: And I act unreasonable because you have no idea how much fun it is to piss you off! *she grins; SEBASTIAN does not*

SEBASTIAN: I really am going to lock the door when I leave. Is there anything you'll be needing?

FANGIRL: *points at SEBASTIAN's candelabra* Can I borrow one of those candles? *he hands her one of said candles, which she uses to light another candelabra; she grins and waves* Thanks! See ya in the morning!

(SEBASTIAN shuts the door and locks it from the other side; he lingers a minute to listen in on FANGIRL)

FANGIRL: *from behind the door, delighted* WOW! First edition Charles Dickens! This is worth -

SEBASTIAN: *cutting her off* Don't even think about it.

FANGIRL: *annoyed* Killjoy!

(SEBASTIAN chuckles and leaves her for the night)


(FANGIRL05 is stretched out on a dark couch, reading The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde; she closes it after a moment and drums her fingers against it anxiously; she sets it down in her lap and whistles the first verse of Moses' Lullaby; she starts convulsively at a soft thump in the background)

FANGIRL: *frightened and shaking* Wh - who's there?

(Something scurries across the ground behind her; FANGIRL squeaks in terror; she pulls one of the candles out of the holder and blows the others out, brandishing the holder like a weapon in the direction of the noise; a small white kitten walks genially into the light; FANGIRL tilts her head in confusion)

FANGIRL: Eh?

(The kitten appears to be smiling at her; it mews loudly at her; FANGIRL is overcome by it)

FANGIRL: Aww! *she kneels and holds her hand out to it* Where'd you come from, little guy?

(The kitten walks forward and sniffs her fingertips curiously; FANGIRL scoops it up and holds it up to her face)

FANGIRL: Are you one of Sebastian's roommates? *she puts the candelabra down and tucks the kitten into the crook of her arm* Shame on him, keeping a cute little thing like you locked in that stinky closet of his all day! *she scratches the top of its head* But still, you shouldn't be running around out here. Ciel hates cats, *she lifts it back up to her face* even adorable ones like you. (the kitten sniffs and licks her nose; FANGIRL giggles and lays back on the couch) You wanna keep me company while I read?

(the kitten curls into a ball on her stomach and yawns; FANGIRL is once again smitten)

FANGIRL: Aww! *she reopens her book and strokes the kitten's back; it purrs loudly*


(FANGIRL screams in shock at a loud crashing noise; the kitten arches it back and yowls; FANGIRL takes the candelabra and kitten and walks slowly toward the noise; she blinks in surprise at the pile of table, candlestick, candles and GRELL SUTCLIFF sprawled across the floor)

GRELL: *clutching his ankle* AUGH! DAMMIT! Y'see, this is why I don't hang out in libraries!

FANGIRL: *surprised and confused* Grell? *he looks up at her, surprised* What are you doing here? *FANGIRL lowers her eyebrows* You scared me!

GRELL: *stands and tests his ankle* I had some business to take care of around here and thought I'd come visit my Sebby. *FANGIRL scowls over her shoulder* Will sent me to collect some old guy's soul.

FANGIRL: *worried* Not Tanaka?

GRELL: Nah, he's good for a while. *pouts and crosses his arms* Augh! That guy was so boring! Loved his family, church every Sunday, barely ever even drank! I almost fell asleep watching his cinematic record! *narrows his eyes* Damn Will, sadistic bastard he is.

FANGIRL: *smirks deviously over her shoulder, in a quiet voice* He's probably just jealous that you always run off to flirt with Sebastian.

GRELL: Huh?

FANGIRL: Hmm?

GRELL: I heard "Sebastian".

FANGIRL: I didn't say "Sebastian".

GRELL: *sighs* Ah, Sebastian. My dearest Sebby. *he hugs his shoulders and shakes his hips a little as he speaks* Can't you just see his arms wrapped comfortingly around me as a storm rages all around us?

FANGIRL: *glances to the side in disgust* I'm trying very hard not to. *she lets the kitten down and watches it run off; she looks up after a silent minute and notices GRELL looking at her slyly; she raises her eyebrow suspiciously* Whachu starin' at me for?

GRELL: *raises his eyebrow; there is an air of cunning about him* You and Sebby are on good terms, yes?

FANGIRL: *takes a step back* On his good days. Why?

GRELL: 'Cuz I have a proposition in mind that will benefit us both.

FANGIRL: Out of sheer morbid curiosity I'll ask you what the hell you're talking about.

GRELL: I want you *he points* to lure Sebastian away from that brat master of his and into a bedroom with me *he clasps his fingers in delight*!

FANGIRL: *her jaw drops in shock* And why in holy hell would I do that?

GRELL: Because I can get you *he leans forward and points at FANGIRL's chest* pictures of Knox and Will doing kinky stuff.

(FANGIRL's eyes widen and her face reddens like a thermometer; GRELL smiles smugly at her expression; FANGIRL points at GRELL*

FANGIRL: You drive a hard bargain there, Sutcliff. *GRELL chuckles once, pleased with himself; FANGIRL frowns at him suddenly* But the answer is still no. *a jet of steam blows out through her nose and her face returns to its original color; she crosses her arms* I'm not some cheap fandom whore who will sell out her favorite canon couple for crack porn! *she turns her back on GRELL* I will not help you muck up my OTP and that's that! *she starts to walk away from GRELL; he sighs through his teeth*

GRELL: I really didn't wanna hafta do this. *he grabs FANGIRL's arm and pulls her back to look at him; he frowns into her face* Brown is such an ugly color.

FANGIRL: *looks wide - eyed at GRELL* What are you doing? *GRELL leans in closer* Hey! Stop it! Get away from me! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO...!

(Screen fades to black)


(SEBASTIAN pours CIEL a cup of tea; they both lift their heads at the sound of FANGIRL screaming in the distance)

SEBASTIAN: She sounds like she's enjoying herself.

CIEL: That sounded more like terror than pleasure. *he turns back to his paperwork* Go see what's wrong with her.

SEBASTIAN: *bows, covers his heart* Understood. *he sees himself out; he frowns when the door is shut and sighs loudly as he walks toward the library* How does she manage to ruin my night without even being there?


(SEBASTIAN unlocks the library door; the kitten from earlier rushes up to him, mewling loudly; it seems to be panicking)

SEBASTIAN: *picks up the kitten* What are you doing in here, Oliver? *OLIVER meows loudly again and squirms in SEBASTIAN's grip; SEBASTIAN finally seems to notice the the lights are all out* And in the dark, at that. *looks around* Didn't I lock an idiot in here?

FANGIRL: *in an extremely suggestive voice* Yes, and I'm very lonely. Come comfort me?

(SEBASTIAN is confused by FANGIRL's obvious come - hither; he snaps his fingers and several candelabras flicker on; he is so surprised by FANGIRL's appearance that he yelps and jumps back)

(FANGIRL is lying on the couch in a Soma - esque position; she has undergone a drastic wardrobe change, and is now wearing a dark purplish - red vest that is clearly supposed to be worn over a shirt, black shorts and black thigh - high stockings that could've come from Alois Trancy's closet, and her hair is undone from its usual braid; there is a single red rose tucked behind her ear)

FANGIRL: *flirtatiously* Hi Sebby. *she struts up to SEBASTIAN, who backs up until his back is pressed against the door; FANGIRL winds her arms around his neck* Turn the lights off, would you? *she smiles impurely* The darkness suits you so much better.

SEBASTIAN: *has no idea what is going on* Umm... Are you feeling all right?

FANGIRL: *flutters her eyelashes at him and leans her head against his chest* Much better now that you're here.

(SEBASTIAN makes a disgusted face at the clichéd line; he glances downward at FANGIRL's outfit with the utmost caution)

SEBASTIAN: *trying to start a sentence* Why are... Your outfit...

FANGIRL: *shrugs* My clothes felt a little stifling, so I changed. *she twirls once and smiles flirtatiously* Do you like them?

(SEBASTIAN frowns for second, then smiles; he takes a step toward FANGIRL; she blushes)

SEBASTIAN: *touches FANGIRL's cheek* Can I ask you a question?

FANGIRL: *blushes harder, holds onto SEBASTIAN's coat* Anything!

(SEBASTIAN smiles evilly and grabs her bicep; he pulls the nearest candelabra off the wall and holds it close to her face)

SEBASTIAN: Have your eyes always been green?

(FANGIRL's green reaper eyes widen; she's obviously caught)

FANGIRL: *looks in several different directions away from SEBASTIAN* Uhmmm... Yes? *she grins widely, revealing shark - like teeth*

SEBASTIAN: *frowns, annoyed* Grell?

FANGIRL/GRELL: *crosses her arms* Hey, I gave her a choice. She said no.

SEBASTIAN: *slightly incredulous* So you possessed her?

FANGIRL/GRELL: Yeah. *he looks down at FANGIRL's body in displeasure* I'm not really sure what I was thinking with that one anymore. Her body's completely out of proportion! *he pivots to inspect said body* Too much ass, not enough boobs. *pokes FANGIRL's stomach* WAY too much gut.

SEBASTIAN: *sighs and presses his hand to his temple; shakes his head* I should show this to the young master. *he picks FANGIRL/GRELL up bridal style*

FANGIRL/GRELL: *surprised* Oh? Oh... *she wraps her arms around SEBASTIAN's neck and snuggles her head into his chest with a happy sigh*

SEBASTIAN: *carries FANGIRL/GRELL out of the library and down the hallway* I wonder what she'll have to say about this?

FANGIRL/GRELL: Don't talk about another woman right now, Sebby.


(CIEL looks up as the door to his study opens; he blanches at the sight of SEBASTIAN carrying FANGIRL, or possibly at FANGIRL's attire; she frowns distastefully at him; CIEL raises his eyebrow and looks at SEBASTIAN)

SEBASTIAN: Grell.

CIEL: Ah. *he dips his quill back into the inkwell* Well, get him out of her, then.

FANGIRL/GRELL: NO! *clings tighter to SEBASTIAN* I can finally have my *she stresses the word and glares at CIEL* Sebby's baby! I'm not giving this body up for anything! *she buries her face in SEBASTIAN's coat*

(SEBASTIAN looks from FANGIRL/GRELL to CIEL and back; he smirks inside - joke - style and looks down at FANGIRL/GRELL; he tilts her face up to look at him)

SEBASTIAN: Would you like me to provide you with some... Entertainment?

FANGIRL/GRELL: *a thin line of blood drips from her nose* Uhh...

SEBASTIAN: I'm going to have to put you down in order for this to work.

(FANGIRL/GRELL is only too happy to be put down)

SEBASTIAN: Now then... *he walks over to CIEL's desk and leans over him; he strokes his cheek; FANGIRL/GRELL looks confused*

FANGIRL/GRELL: *tilts her head to the side* Wha?

SEBASTIAN: *pets CIEL's lips, smirking* Young master...

CIEL: *ANGRY* What the he- *SEBASTIAN leans down and kisses him* MMPH!

(FANGIRL/GRELL gawks, blushes and looks extremely upset; she shivers a little and clenches her fists; SEBASTIAN pulls CIEL a little closer; CIEL does not resist; his eyes shut and he wraps his arms around SEBASTIAN'S neck; FANGIRL/GRELL gnashes her teeth; CIEL and SEBASTIAN pull apart)

SEBASTIAN: Young master.

CIEL: *kind of dazed* Sebastian...

(they kiss again; FANGIRL/GRELL is furious; two pairs of black - gloved fingers appear at the top and bottom of her mouth; a mop of bright red hair starts to rise out of her throat; FANGIRL's eyes fill with tears and she makes choking noises; her knees wobble convulsively as more of GRELL forces its way out of her mouth; FANGIRL falls to her knees as GRELL flops out onto the floor; both of them pant loudly for vastly different reasons; GRELL starts to stomp forward to break up CIEL and SEBASTIAN's, ehm... activities)

GRELL: *angry* Get your hands off my Sebby, bra-

(FANGIRL's hand curls around the top of GRELL's hair; GRELL's eyes widen in fear)

FANGIRL: *homicidal* You.

GRELL: *gulps*

FANGIRL: *yanks GRELL around to look at her face; her rage is nowhere near controlled* YOU ARE SO BEYOND A DEAD MAN! *she snaps her head toward SEBASTIAN* Sebastian, cover Ciel's eyes! *she bares her teeth at GRELL* I don't want a kid to have to watch this!

(SEBASTIAN complies)

GRELL: *shaking, his hands folded in pleading* Wh - wh - what are you gonna do with me?

FANGIRL: *closes her lips and smiles widely and dangerously* Oh, I'm not going to do anything at all.

GRELL: *confused, and still scared* Then what are you-

FANGIRL: *tilts her head back suddenly* WILL! *GRELL yelps in fear*

(one of the windows breaks suddenly as someone jumps through; SEBASTIAN holds CIEL a little closer; WILLIAM T. SPEARS rises from a crouch and adjusts his glasses with his scythe; he and FANGIRL hold each others' gazes; they don't appear to be on great terms)

WILL: What is it this time?

FANGIRL: *throws GRELL at his feet* Him. Demon. Flirting. Possessed me.

WILL: *glares down at GRELL* Oh really?

GRELL: *grins up at WILL, folds his hands again* C'mon Will, have merc - ACK! *WILL kicks him hard enough in the mouth to flip him onto his back*

WILL: *grabs GRELL by his hair and starts to drag him out* Let's go, you piece of filth. *checks his roster* You're lucky I've finished my work already, so I won't have to apply for overtime. *he jumps out the window with GRELL*

FANGIRL: *shakes her head after them* That guy really needs to get laid. *looks over at CIEL and SEBASTIAN; they hold each others' gazes for a minute; FANGIRL clasps her hands together loudly* Well, ah, you two are obviously busy. I'll see myself out. *she is halfway out the door before she turns and points* Unless you'd rather I stay?

SEBASTIAN: *frowns* Pervert.

FANGIRL: *smirks* This from the guy making out with a thirteen - year - old boy? *a silver knife lodges into the wall two inches away from her head; she smiles cheerfully and raises her hand* Understood! *she darts out of the room and shuts the door*

CIEL: *glowers, displeased* Idiot.

SEBASTIAN: *turns CIEL's face toward himself; smirks* Let me help you forget about her.

(CIEL AND SEBASTIAN resume kissing; CIEL lies back against his desk while SEBASTIAN straddles him; FANGIRL peeks out from CIEL's desk drawer; she grins mischievously)

FANGIRL: Best. Birthday. Ever. *she holds up a tape recorder*

(End Scene)