Author's note (AN): I would have never thought that one day I would actually ship Percy and Nico, but heck, here I am, writing my first Percico (that's the right term, isn't it?) fanfiction. Writing this story is really weird, because I kind of already planned the climax in every detail, but I'm not sure how to get the story there. Anyways, I'm rambling. Enjoy reading, and please review :) Don't spare me with your critique.
Disclaimer: Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus are the property of Rick Riordan.
Nico
I sat on my bed, turning my skull ring, and I didn't know what to do. Exceptionally, today's catastrophe wasn't the impending end of the world, the rise of a new evil monster, or anything similar. No, my problem was Will Solace.
I had sort of developed a crush on him since the war. Today he had confronted me, asked me why I was acting so weird, and I had told him.
He didn't return my feelings.
Will Solace didn't love me back.
But what really bothered me, was that it didn't bother me as much as it should have bothered me.
Yeah, that sounds really weird, but to me, it made sense.
I was having another hopeless crush, another person didn't return my feelings, but instead of crying or hiding in the shadows, I sat in my cabin and asked myself if I was over this crush already before it had really begun.
Will had been nice, and there had been neither mock nor pity in his eyes when he had told me that all he wanted to be was my friend. My best friend, if possible, but my friend nonetheless. And no, he had said, things wouldn't be awkward between us. He was glad that I had told him, and he didn't want to be the one who broke my heart.
For some reason, I thought about Percy Jackson. It seemed to be my fate to fall in love with kind, understanding, and considerate idiots. And I couldn't even blame them. My feelings were nobody's fault.
I had stated that I was over my crush on Percy now, and I was sure that I wasn't feeling that way for him anymore. But what way did I feel for him? We had become very close friends after I had come out to him, no sign of awkwardness, and he did all he could so things would stay like this. But during the last few weeks, I had realized that I was still attracted to him. But I refused to admit that to myself. I wouldn't crush a third time, especially not on a person I had crushed on before.
I got up. Fine, I loved Percy. Still or again. Not that it mattered, though. I wouldn't tell him. He would feel guilty again, and I didn't want to be pitied. He was supposed to get lucky with Annabeth, and I would not interfere. Never.
Percy
I lay on my bed and thought about Nico. What might he be doing now?
I had been really shocked when he come out to me. Not that he was gay, mind you. I had no problem with homosexuality. That was totally fine from me. No, what had shocked me was the fact that I hadn't noticed his feelings. I couldn't say I understood what he had gone through, but I figured that I had, unknowingly, hurt him several times. How could I have not noticed that? What had I done to him?
I had tried to make up for that, and by now, we were really close friends. Besides Jason, who was sort of Nico's big brother, I couldn't imagine anyone who was closer to Nico than me. But for the last two months, since shortly after the victory over Gaea, I caught myself thinking about Nico almost every day. Not that that was wrong, he was my friend. But I thought about him in a way no friend should think.
Like last week, when he had helped Leo in the forge (he did that regularly), and I had thought how hot he looked when he smirched his hands. And I had regretted not to be able to see him without that shirt. And a second later, I had mentally slapped myself. I wasn't supposed to think such things. I had a girlfriend. Nico had said that he didn't feel that way anymore. I was supposed to be happy, he was supposed to be happy. Without me, for that matter.
Yesterday, when I had made out with Annabeth, I had finally realized that something was wrong. So wrong. Very, very wrong. When I had thought how Nico's lips would feel while I felt her lips. It just wasn't right.
It almost tore me apart. If I thought such things, it was obvious that I couldn't pretend it was nothing and stay with Annabeth. And she'd find out, sooner or later. But I couldn't leave her for Nico, because Nico wasn't crushing on me anymore. So I didn't love the person who loved me, while the person I loved didn't love me.
What a disaster. I buried my face in my hands and couldn't keep myself from crying.
When I was done crying, I still felt devastated. I had made up my mind. I didn't know how to tell Annabeth, but I would have to leave her. It wasn't fair if I would stay with her, secretly in love with someone else. I could never tell Nico, but I would have to bear my fate. I wouldn't hurt him again. I had decided to protect him as well as I could when I had decided that I would be the one to fulfill the prophecy, not him, many years ago, and I intended to keep my word.
