Disclaimer: Won't it be scary if I owned this?
Warning: They're disgustingly OOC. I can't help it.
Notes: Uh-uh. Not shounen ai. *gasp* I know. Suprising, innit? This is a spur of the moment thing. So don't expect any Pulitzer-worth writing. Heck, this didn't even reach my beta. (luv ya, Sarri!) This is to make up for my prolonged lurking. Or something.
EVAPORATED
Kyou wiped his eyes with the back of his right hand, trying to get the sleepiness out of it. It was late, around 7am. He found it weird that Tohru didn't even knock on his door to wake him up for breakfast. Putting that thought aside, he went down the stairs and gingerly headed for the kitchen, expecting to see Shigure crouched in front of the fridge, pawing at anything delicious his eyes would land on. Not a lot of people know about Shigure's habit of snacking in front of the fridge, but Kyou had caught him numerous times whenever he'd wake up int eh middle of the night or early morning.
When he stepped in, he was surprised to see that the refrigerator door was closed and there was no Shigure munching by the counter. Instead, Haru was perched up on the sink, sipping coffee while reading the morning paper. "Late night?" Haru asked without looking up.
"The hell you care." Kyou said as he went over to the fridge to get his daily dose of morning milk. Leaning on the fridge door, he looked over at Haru before gulping down the milk. The familiarity of the cool liquid going down his throat felt good to him and he could basically feel his normal, non-grumpy mood returning to him. When he was finished, he put the box back in the fridge and went over to Haru's side to grab a piece of bread. "What are you doing here, anyway?"
Haru took a drink of his coffee before answering. "I wanted to see Yuki."
"And did you?"
"No. He went out to get some groceries with Tohru."
Kyou nodded. "Where's Shigure?"
"Off to torture Mit-chan."
"So early?"
"Hai."
Kyou gave this a bit of thought. To be quite honest, he really pitied Shigure's editor. The girl was so small and Shigure would always pick on her and give her stress. But he had to admit it was at least funny. He just won't tell anyone about it.
Giving Haru one last glance, he shrugged and went out to start his morning training.
~*~
When he came back in, a little after 11, Haru was sprawled on the floor, watching TV. The oushi looked up at him before turning back to the TV. "Welcome back. I was getting hungry."
"Why don't you cook for yourself, then?" Kyou asked as he wiped the errant sweat dripping on the side of his face.
"I can't cook."
Kyou let out a tiny growl. "Your sense of direction sucks, you're infinitely boring and now you tell me you CAN'T cook? What the hell are you good for?!"
Haru turned off the TV and angled his body so he was facing Kyou. "I'm boring?"
"Can you at least wash your clothes?"
"You think I'm boring?"
"Or clean the house? You CAN clean the house, right?"
"I don't know. The maids do that." He bent his head to the side and gave Kyou a questioning look. "Am I really that boring?"
"Would you stop asking stupid questions?! Do you want to eat or not?" Kyou said as he walked over to the direction of the kitchen.
Haru just shrugged and followed him into the kitchen.
~*~
"This is good." Haru said as he picked another slice of chicken with his chopsticks.
Kyou snorted. "What do you expect?"
"See, it's not true."
Kyou's eyebrows shot up at the sudden subject change. He looked over to where Haru sat, examining his food. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You." Haru said flatly.
"Me?"
"You."
"What about me?"
"Remember, when we were young, Orika-sensei asked us all to draw anything we like and he would give gifts to the best one he sees? Remember how you got the price when you drew the cat playing with a ball of yarn? You told me then that you don't understand why you got chosen. You said that you weren't good at anything." He gave Kyou a look. "Well, it's not true."
"Oh." Kyou said, turning back to his own food.
"Yeah, oh. You did a good job then with drawing. Even Yuki didn't beat you that time in the eyes of Orika-sensei. And you're good at cooking now. So what you said wasn't true. You're good at something. Just not at something you expect."
Kyou picked at his food. "Well, what good is that? I want to beat him at something that he's good at, not at something that he knows nothing about."
Haru sighed. "But don't you get it, Kyou? You KNOW something else besides fighting, you're good at sports, you're smart, in short, you can do everything Yuki can and more. What else do you want?"
"I want to beat him." Kyou said, looking straight into Haru's eyes. "Besides, what's the deal? I thought you liked Yuki?"
"I do." Haru said, taking a sip of the tea Kyou prepared along with the lunch.
For some reason, seeing Haru's calm face angered Kyou. "Then why are you putting him down?" he hissed.
"Why are you worried that I'm putting Yuki down? Do you like him, Kyou?" Haru asked with mild interest.
"Why the fuck would I like that stupid, idiot—"
Haru interrupted him. "Do you like him, Kyou? Not like the way I do, just in general. Do you like Yuki?"
Kyou wilted. Perhaps an ill-temper wasn't the right way to deal with Haru. He'd known the boy all his life and Haru almost always got what he wanted from Kyou. Be it toys or an answer.
Kyou mumbled somethng and Haru had to inch forward to hear it. "I'm sorry?"
Kyou rolled his eyes. "I said I suppose."
"You suppose what?"
Kyou flared up again. "You damn cow! Do I have to repeat everything I say? I suppose I like him as a person!"
Haru settled back into his seat and took another sip of his tea, which by now had gone rather stale. "I see."
Kyou almost said something but dismissed it. For a while, no words were exchanged between them and silence englufed the whole room. "So what?"
Haru looked up from his cup. "Hmm?"
"So what if I like Yuki?"
"Nothing." Haru said as he gathered their plates and stacked them. Kyou also stood up and helped him with the glasses and bowls and they both went to the kitchen and placed them beside the sink. Haru opened the faucet and lathered the soap, while Kyou went back in the dining table to gather what was left of their lunch, both boys working in silence.
When Kyou finished putting away all the leftovers, he poured himself some tea and leaned against the counter. "What do you like about Yuki, anyway?"
Haru looked at him sideways and turned back to his work, thinking. "What do YOU like about him?"
"I asked you first."
Haru picked up a glass. "It's his loneliness."
Kyou found this surprising. If he asked a girl, any girl, or even a guy for that matter, what they like about Yuki, he'd probably get something like 'his eyes, the way he smiles, his personality', but not Haru. Never Hatsuharu Sohma. He delves on a deeper level. "His loneliness?"
"Yes. If you look at Yuki, all you'd see is this goodlooking, intelligent person, if a bit secretive. But, if you try to think about his situation, it's a bit lonely."
Kyou held back a snort. "Why?"
Haru laughed. "Kyou, sometimes, you're so dense." He stopped laughing when he received a sharp look from Kyou and went back to explaining. "Imagine. Who are Yuki friends with? Aside from Tohru and his fan club?"
Kyou gave this due thought. "His fan club can't really be considered friends. They're a fucking fan club."
"Exactly."
"Exactly?"
Haru reached over to get a couple of rags beside the rice cooker and tossed one over to Kyou. He then went to the finished dishes and started drying them, signalling Kyou to do the same. "Exactly. If you observe Yuki, you'll see that he almost never hangs out with anybody. He'd eat his lunch alone under a tree, he'd always be in the library alone, reading some book or other, no one really comes near him that much because of the fact that he pushes girls away because he has to, and because some people are afraid."
Kyou looked up from the plate he was wiping to glance at Haru. "What's to be afraid of the damn onna-otoko? He's so thin he'd be blown away by a stiff wind."
"Have you ever seen a perfect flower?"
"What the fuck is with you and changing subjects so abruptly? Stick to one topic, dammit!" Kyou said, setting down a fork.
"Well, have you? I promise, I'm still on our line of discussion."
"Yes. Once. In Shishou's garden."
"What did you do about it?"
Kyou eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure you're still on track?"
"Hai."
"Nothing. I just looked at it."
"Why didn't you pluck it out of the bush?"
"Because then I'd kill it, baka."
"Exactly. That's what people are afraid of."
"They're afraid of killing Yuki?"
Haru picked up the stack of plates and placed them in the proper cabinet. "Keep up, Kyou, will you? They don't want to get too close to Yuki because they're afraid they'd taint him. Something as good as him are not often seen. So what he is now, that's what they want to preserve. They'd rather look at him from afar than go near him and watch him be anything besides what he is now."
"So they don't want to change him?"
"Hai."
"Well, you should've said so in the first place. No need to get all longwinded about it."
Haru snickered. "Sorry." He grabbed the last couple of glasses from the counter and they both went outside. Kyou sat on the floor and faced the garden, while Haru leaned against a pole.
"His loneliness, huh."
Haru studied him for a while, as if having an internal debate with himself about something. "Why do you like Yuki, Kyou?"
Kyou gave this some thought. "Don't get me wrong. I don't like Yuki per se. Maybe if we met at a different place under a differetn situation, maybe I'd like him."
"But I thought you said you like him."
"I do. To a degree."
"What degree would that be?"
"He's someone people listen to and rely on. He's easily trusted by everyone. He can--oh, why am I telling you all this?" Kyou said, standing up. Haru extended his leg in Kyou's way and tripped the boy, making Kyou fall flat on his face. "What the fuck is that about, you baka oushi?!"
Haru regarded him seriously. "YOu wanna know what's wrong with you, Kyou?" Kyou snorted as he dusted himself off. "You let your emotions get the best of you. Believe it or not, not everyone hate you for being the cat. I don't, Momiji doesn't, and I know Tohru doesn't."
"Whatever. You won't understand. And I don't care if you don't."
"Try me." Haru said, staring right at Kyou.
Kyou stared back, as if daring Haru to look awy first. When the younger boy didn't, he sighe din defeat and sat back down. "You won't understand."
"You already said that."
"Because it's true."
"Kyou, you're not the only one with a tragic past here. From what I've been made to believe, it's the trend with every Juunishi. You have to have a tragic past or you're not part of the group. It's sort of like a requirement of sorts."
"You've never been hated by the family."
"Oh yeah? Then how come I developed this whole black personality?"
"Because you're stupid."
"I'm not. That's just what people tell me I am."
Kyou snorted. "Yuki told you that."
Haru leaned back, still looking at Kyou intently. "Yes he did. And it's true."
"Is that why you love him so much?"
"I already told you why I like Yuki. Now answer the question. Why do you want to beat Yuki so badly?"
"That wasn't the original question, you fat cow."
"I know. But that's where this conversation's heading anyway. I'm just providing a short-cut."
"I want to be accepted."
"By who?"
"The family."
"You don't think you're being accepted?"
"Why, am I?"
"I don't know Kyou, are you?"
"Why do you keep answering me with questions?!" Kyou growled.
"Because you give stupid answers. Do you really think you're hated by the family? Because as I've said, I don't hate you."
"Whatever. You don't matter."
"Oh." Haru said, wilting a bit.
"Oh, what? I didn't mean you don't matter AT ALL! I mean your opinion won't change theirs!"
Haru smiled. "Oh. And who's opinion can change it all, Akito's?"
Kyou nodded, looking far away.
"So you want to please Akito, is that it?"
"No. I want to beat Yuki."
"But you said—"
"I want to beat Yuki because he's the best of all the Juunishi and if I can beat him, then Akito and all the other idiots would accept me in the family!" He said, fists clenched in frustration.
Haru reached over and grabbed Kyou's fists, rubbing on them softly. "So all our opinions don't matter, just Akito's?"
"No—I—I don't know!"
"Kyou, are you jealous of Yuki?"
Kyou immediately went into defensive mode and snatched his hand away from Haru's touch. "What the fuck are you talking about? Of course not!"
"I see."
"You really like saying that, don't you?"
Haru smiled. "What do you want? I mean, what do you really want?"
Kyou mumbled something and this time, Haru didn't ask him to repeat it because even if he didn't hear it, he knew exactly what Kyou said because he knew that, to some extent, all of them wanted that. "But you are accepted. By us. By your friends out of the family, what more do you want?"
Kyou just looked at him, not sure what to say. It would be so easy. To just blow his top and yell at Haru like he did every other time his cousin annoyed him, but he knew it won't help with anything if he did that now. Besides, he missed having talks like this with people. Just exchanging opinions and not bashing each other's faces in. "You don't get it do you?" he asked Haru, fists clenched. "You, at least have a place in the Juunishi. People call you stupid, but you're still part of the family. I can't even step inside the compound."
Haru looked at him, assimilating the situation. "You want to be accepted by the clan."
"I just said damn, you idiot."
"That's why you want to beat Yuki. To get Akito's respect."
Kyou cursed his stupid cousin for knowing exactly what he wanted to happen but held it back in. Instead, he just shrugged in response.
Haru tilted his head to one side, trying to make his voice and tone as soft and harmless as possible. "What makes you think that you'd get Akito's approval if you did manage to beat Yuki?"
Kyou's eyes widened. If anything, that was harsh. But for some reason, he can't get angry at Haru for that because he knew that it was a possibility. In fact, he'd seen the pointlessness of it all for a long time now, but he just can't stop himself. It was a force of habit. Besides, it gave him a sense of direction. A meaning to this whole cursed existence.
Haru looked at Kyou and carefully studied him, feeling guilty for what he said. It was mean, he knew, but someone had to say it. All the fighting was pointless and he knew it. He would even bet his overcoat that even Kyou knows that, he was just afraid to recognize it. Because recognizing it would make it much more real.
Silence reigned the whole place for a few minutes, so needless to say, Haru nearly jumped fifty feet in the air when Kyou spoke up. "Huh?"
Kyou gave him a look and shook his head. "Nevermind." With that, he got up and dusted his pants, leaving an eye out for Haru to make sure the younger man won't trip him again. Haru smiled disarmingly and held both hands up and turned back to the garden. "It's a nice afternoon, isn't it?"
Kyou looked out and almost smiled at what he saw. It really was nice out, but he was exhausted. The exhaustion wasn't even from the morning training or having to deal with Haru since he woke up. This time, it was all form baring his thoughts to a certain young man who was, at that moment, sitting not a few feet away from where he stood.
"I'm taking a shower." Kyou said as he walked back in the house, not caring whether Haru heard him or not. Haru did, and nodded in assent. "They should be back soon."
AN: Well, that was pointless. --;;;
Oh yeah, title explanation: The song's by Ben Folds Five. I can't think of a title and I was listening to the song as I was nearing the end and when you listen to something while doing something, you feel like they're related. So…yeah. Hence the title. It doesn't really have anything to do with the story except these lines:
I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
It evaporated, see?
Heehee. Okay, it's review time now. ^_^
