Author's Note: This was originally posted on my other fanfiction account (HannahMiley1fan) but I decided to post this over here instead (along with the rest of the stories in this series) as I feel people tend to find my stories easier under this username. This was written in December of last year, and is one of four stories.
Disclaimer: (Momentarily forgot to put this in) I do not own the show or characters. All I own is the writing, story, and Ronny as well as all of Lorna's alters.
Original Author's Note: Well, this was supposed to be a short, sweet, happy story...but quickly turned into a long, dark, and sadish story. There is, of course, a happy ending. But everything between is dark and not so happy. For the purpose of this story, Lorna is suffering with Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D). I spent a lot of time researching it to make sure that this would be as realistic as possible, but some of it might not be - after all this is just a fiction story! Anyway, please leave me some feedback on what you think. I would really appreciate that! :) Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Dark, mature themes. Focuses on Lorna's Dissociative Identity Disorder and has mentions of past child abuse/sexual abuse. Referenced rape/non-con. Read at your own risk. (Just for reference-this is a definite alternate universe).
The Hot Momma in The Bakery Shop
Every day, as if by ritual, Lorna strolls along – with her toddler son tow – to her favorite bakery. And it's not just because she's hopelessly drawn to the redhead employee, who always happens to be giving her flirty compliments and making funny faces at her little boy. No, of course that's not the only reason she goes there – their pastries are simply the best in town and they have outstanding customer service, and the owner always ends up giving her a pretty decent discount.
Lorna wakes up to her son's crying. Her heart breaks at the sound of it; she jumps out of bed and runs into his room. As soon as she enters, she hurries to the crib and scoops him up into her arms. "What's wrong with mommy's little buddy? Do you not feel well, sweetie?" She presses a kiss on the top of his head, rocking him softly against her chest. It troubles her to see her son so distressed – she would do anything to take away whatever is causing him to feel that way.
The little boy snuggles into his mother's warmth, his crying immediately stopping. "Mama! Me wove mama," he exclaims happily, squeezing his tiny arms around Lorna's neck. Ever since his birth, he's been attached to his mom – almost to the point that she could barely accomplish anything unless she held him the entire time.
Smiling and relieved that nothing serious is wrong, Lorna squeezes him close to her. She sits down in the rocking chair, beside his crib, and strokes his hair soothingly, "Momma loves you too, sweetheart, more than anyone in the whole world." Lorna loves moments like this – just sitting and rocking with her baby, he's the best thing that's ever happened to her. She couldn't ask for a better son. He's brought so much joy to her life in his short eighteen months. "You wanna go to the bakery with mommy? I know how much you love the chocolate milk there!" She feels his tiny head bob up and down against her chest, making her smile. It was their daily ritual to stroll along to the neighborhood bakery.
The bell above the door rings as Lorna enters the bakery shop with her son. She pushes his stroller up to the counter, already knowing what she's going to order. As she waits in the short line, she bends down to press a soft kiss to the little boy's forehead – who smiles and giggles in return. When it's finally her turn to order, she turns away from her son and looks up at the clerk – her favorite redheaded clerk, who always seems to be flirting with her. "I'll get my usual, and a chocolate milk for my little Ronny," she smiles sweetly and then adds, "How are you, Nicky?"
Behind the counter, getting Lorna's order ready, Nicky smirks. Every day she watches this young woman come into the shop, strolling along that exceedingly cheerful little boy of hers. Kids usually make Nicky roll her eyes, or want to rip each strand of her hair out – one by one. Not this kid though; something about the way he seems to completely adore his mother – who she, too, secretly adores – and the way he stares at other people when they make conversation with Lorna, as if to say 'what do you think you're doing talking to my mommy?', it makes her almost want to smile. Almost.
Handing the bag of pastries as well as a bottle of chocolate milk to the bakery's most loyal, and her personally favorite, customer, Nicky lightly chuckles. "I'm good; how are you, kid? And the little rugrat seems happy, as usual," she smirks, staring at the woman, and then down at the cooing toddler. He gives her an intense scowl – something he always does when he sees her talking to his mother – and she can't help but laugh.
Lorna smiles, bending down to give Ron his chocolate milk, and then stands back up to peer at the clerk. "I'm good, too. Ronny's always so happy; my little ray of sunshine!" She beams vividly at the little boy, who's happily chugging down his beverage. Kissing him softly on the cheek, she strolls him over to a table and sits down on a chair beside his stroller. She sips her coffee, that she brought with her in her traveler's cup, and breaks off a tiny piece of her pastry to give to the toddler.
Stuffing his mouth with the pastry, Ron looks up at his mother with a big smile. "Numnum," he talks, his mouth full of food, and lets out a fit of giggles. He smiles even more when she laughs with him, but then he notices someone taking a seat beside her. His smile fades instantly, especially when he sees that the person is also the clerk – who his mommy seems to love spending time with when she brings him here. "Me mama!" The toddler cries out, a pout growing on his little face.
Her heart melting at the sad look on her son's face, Lorna scoops him out of the stroller and sits him on her lap. Stroking his curly brown hair delicately, she stares down at him with a warm smile. "I am your mommy, buddy, and I love you so much. This is mommy's friend, Nicky – you like Nicky, she's funny! She makes you laugh, Ronny boy," she presses her lips softly on his head, before turning back to Nicky.
Smirking, Nicky watches as the little boy stares daggers at her. She grabs her can of Dr. Pepper and takes a swig of it. "If I give you candy before you and mommy leave, will that make you like me? We have M&Ms, you like those?" She chuckles when Lorna gives her a firm look – not wanting her to be introducing her son into bad eating habits. "Aw come on, mom; he's just a wittle baby, a little candy won't hurt him! You want him to like your friend, don't you?" The redhead joins Ron in his little pouting fest, both staring innocently at Lorna.
Laughing at her antics, Lorna shakes her head. "You're a bad influence – but I guess one tiny, tiny piece of candy won't kill him. On our way out though, he's already spoiled with that chocolate milk." She says, looking down at the boy with a glowing smile. She kisses the top of his head as she squeezes him close. Before their conversation can continue, she feels her phone go off and quickly snatches it out of her pocket. When she's who's calling, her stomach churns and she sighs. She looks up at Nicky, a pleading expression on her face as she holds Ron out for her to take, "Can you hold him for a minute, Nicky? I'm so sorry to make you do this, but I have to take this call - it's his dad. I shouldn't be too long!" She gently places the unhappy toddler into Nicky's arms, once she gives her a nod, and then heads to the bathroom.
Nicky stares down at the little boy, who's pouting at her, and smiles. She ruffles his thick curls, standing up and bringing him over to the back of the counter. "Don't be sad, little dude. Your mom will be back real soon. But while she's gone, you can have all the M&Ms you want – just don't tell her I gave you any, so you can get more when ya leave," she chuckles, getting a bag of the chocolate candy from underneath the cabinets. Placing the bag on top of the counter, she opens it and gives a few pieces to Ron.
Just then, Red comes in and stands there – watching the interaction with her hands on her hips and a firm expression on her face. "What are you doing giving Lorna's baby chocolate? That's going to teach him bad eating habits, Nicky! Where is his mother, anyway? She never leaves him alone with anybody," she states matter-of-factly, but smiles at the little boy. Having Lorna come by with him on a daily basis was one of the highlights in Red's work day – she absolutely adored little children. "Your mommy dressed you cute today, malen'kiy rebenok (little baby)!" She coos, gently pinching Ron's chubby cheeks.
"Oh, a little chocolate never killed anyone, ma! Besides, this is the only thing that makes him like me. And Lorna got a call from his dad or something, she'll be back in a few minutes," Nicky gives another M&M to the toddler, who happily shoves it in his mouth. She laughs at how full his cheeks are with the amount of candy he keeps shoving in there.
In the bathroom, Lorna holds her phone to her ear as she irritatingly listens to Vinny's yelling. Somehow, she managed to get pregnant with his baby, two years ago, and now he wants to be part of his life – after leaving her the minute she told him about the pregnancy. "I'm not just gonna fucking give you my son, Vinny! If you wanna be in his life, then you gotta spend time with him first. You don't get to just decide that you're taking him without even letting him warm up to you! You have to earn the right to have one-on-one time with Ronald. And you can start by coming over for dinner tonight," she yells back at the man, appalled that he thinks he can just worm his way into their son's life.
"Hell no – there's no fucking way I'm gonna spend my evening with your insane family! I'm his father, I have every right to spend time with him! And don't forget that you're the one with mental problems – you're lucky I haven't filed for custody, because you know you have no chance once they find out how unfit you are. Is this even, really, Lorna that I'm talking to?" Vinny says in a threatening tone of voice. He knows all of her dark secrets and certainly isn't afraid to use them against her – if she thinks she's going to keep his son from him, then she has another thing coming.
Frustrated, Lorna rubs her temples and lets out a groan. "Why do you gotta be such an asshole? Fine; you want to see your son? Then come meet me at this little bakery shop I'm at – it's only a five-minute walk from your apartment. And you better not say any curse words or nothin' in front of the baby!" She harshly speaks, ending the call, and throws the phone back in her pocket. She can't stand when he throws her mental illness in her face, especially because she knows he's right – she would easily have her son taken away if the court found about it.
Lorna walks over to where her son is – being pampered by the bakery's owner, and laughing at the funny faces that Nicky's making at him – and puts an excessively bright smile on her face. Her smile widens even more at how his face lights up when he sees her. He holds out his arms in a plea to be picked up. She complies, scooping him off the counter and into her loving arms. "I see you've been spoiled rotten, my little candy cruncher! Today must be your lucky day or something, cause guess who you get to see? Your daddy's coming down here to see you, he's so excited! I think he might even have a toy train to give you, he knows how much you love trains. Doesn't that sound fun, Ronny boy?" She squeezes him close, pressing a kiss on his head as he giggles happily.
Ron snuggles into his mother's embrace, his little fingers brushing against her neck. "Choo-choo!" He giggles, looking up at her with his big brown eyes.
Caressing his cheek softly, Lorna smiles lovingly at him. "My smart little candy muncher," she coos, kissing him on the head. She takes him back to the table, and sits down with him on her lap. The one thing in her life that makes it worth living is her beautiful little boy – the one person who loves her unconditionally (aside from her older sister) and only wants to see her happy. "I love you so much, my sweet baby boy!" She holds him closer, beaming down at him.
The sound of the bell, above the door, ringing had Lorna turn her attention away from her giggling son, and right over to stare into the eyes of his father. She lets out a quiet sigh as he slowly makes his way over to her. Vinny's presence always brings an uncomfortable sensation over her – she never took a liking to him, and many-a-times questions how she ended up pregnant with his baby. She has no recollection of ever having sex with him; all she remembers is the nausea and frequent trips to the bathroom that warranted she take a pregnancy test.
Vinny comes over, taking a seat in the chair opposite Lorna and stares right at his son. "He really looks like you, Lorna. The thick brown curls, and his dark eyes – he's like the boy version of you," he says observantly, "What'd ya say his name is? Donny or somethin?" He continues to look at the toddler, who gives him a strange glance and holds on tighter to his mother. The last thing he wants is to be a father, at least not right now anyway. He had plans to get a career, meet a woman he would one day marry, and then eventually have a kid or two. This is not anything he planned on happening – he should have made sure to remember his condom when he and Lorna had sex. Even though, he knows it wasn't technically Lorna he had sex with – no, it was one of her two other personalities. One who is a much more intriguing woman than Lorna could ever even dream to be, Vinny tells himself.
"His name is Ronald," Lorna practically growls at the man, holding her son tighter against her. She strokes his hair, pressing a tender kiss to his little cheek as she glares over at the Italian man. "How come it's taken you a year and a half to decide it's time to meet your son?" Her voice filled with deep bouts of anger; she can't stand Vinny, and wishes that she didn't have to let him near their precious little boy. He doesn't deserve to be Ron's father.
Rolling his eyes, Vinny glares at the brunette in annoyance. "Don't give me attitude, Lorna – just remember I can take your precious little boy away at the snap of a finger," he whispers, making sure only she hears him. "You know, why are you even allowed out in the real world? Nora should be the one living out here – she's much more suitable for the planet than you. She's the reason you're a mother in the first place! That's her son, and my son – you don't deserve to consider yourself his mom! Why the fuck is Nora letting you raise him, anyway? She wouldn't just give up her life for you to be let back out." He shouts at her, making both Lorna and the toddler cry.
Trying desperately to hold in her tears and anger, Lorna slowly gets up from the table, puts her son back in the stroller, and gives one last look to Vinny. "Nora isn't coming back, and there's nothing you can do to change that. This is my son; I went through the pregnancy, the birth, and now I'm raising him – he's mylittle boy! And you aren't ever coming near him," she grits her teeth, strapping the upset toddler into his stroller. She shoots up her middle finger at Vinny, then quickly exits the bakery with her son.
When Lorna arrives back at her house, she angrily opens the door and walks in holding her son on her hip. She goes upstairs, into Ron's nursery, and sits down with him on the rocking chair. She brushes her hands through the thick curls of hair that sit atop his head, looking down at him sadly. "I'm sorry your daddy's so mean; he doesn't deserve such a sweet little boy like you," her tone soft and guilty as she presses a kiss to his forehead, slowly rocking him back and forth. "I don't even deserve you half the time, my little Ronny… You are the best thing that's ever happened to me – you make mommy so, so happy, sweetie." Looking down, she notices he's fallen asleep – with his tiny thumb in his mouth – and smiles a little. She rubs his back gently before standing up and carefully placing him in his crib. Wrapping the blanket around him and pressing a loving kiss to his head, she smiles and whispers, "I love you so much, little one. Sleep well."
Fixing herself a cup of coffee, Lorna starts to feel a headache coming on. She uses one of her hands to grab her forehead and rubs her temples – hoping to ease the pain. A rush of anger washes over her and she slams her hands on the table, letting out a much-needed scream. The scream is loud enough for the entire house to hear, causing her older sister, Franny, to come running in. Franny stands there, hands on her hips, and looks worriedly at the smaller woman. "What's the screaming for, Lor? What's going on? You look like you're ready to kill someone–oh shit, is this Lola?" She becomes frantic as she walks closer to her sister, staring heavily into her eyes as she searches to see who exactly she's talking to.
Lorna's eyes go dark, she looks up at Franny – a smirk growing on her face as she slowly nods her head. "The only clever one here, are you? Took me forever to get out here, Lorna can be quite the stubborn one sometimes. I can't stand her," she lets out a laugh, and backs away from Franny – not wanting to be near her. Lola – one of Lorna's three alters due to her diagnoses of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) – is almost always full of anger and rage, and especially can't stand any of Lorna's family members. She deems them all responsible for the major abuse Lorna endured growing up, and wants nothing to do with them – she's even tried to kill them before. "How are you, Miss Francine? Still popping out babies like a fucking factory machine?" Her tone icy as she glares manically at the taller brunette.
"What the fuck did you do to make Lorna let you out? Huh? She's been doing so good all year, why the fuck are you here?!" Franny yells, grabbing Lorna (Lola) by the shoulders and shaking her. Looking straight into her sister's brown eyes, her face is panicked and desperate as she says, "Lorna, please, come back. Come on, you've been doing so well the last two years – don't let Lola intimidate you! Think of your son, Lorna; you know you love him too much to let this happen. Lola's going to ruin your life if you let her stay in control! She'll get your son taken away, and you don't want that." She tries her hardest to bring Lorna back, but that only makes Lola angrier.
Pushing Franny off of her, Lola gives her a cold stare. "Guess you're not that clever, are ya? You know that's not how it fuckin' works – she didn't just let me take over! She knows exactly what I'm capable of, so like hell she'd give me control – willingly, anyway. Her beloved baby-daddy decided to try and threaten her, so here I am. I'll go find that son of a bitch, and kill him myself! But before I go pay him a visit, I'm going out; I haven't been out here in fucking years, it's about time I live my own damn life! I'm so fucking tired of cleaning Lorna's bullshit messes," she lets out a frustrated groan, and then smirks at Lorna's sister. Flipping her off, she quickly leaves the house – on a mission to enjoy her much-awaited freedom.
Nicky is sitting up on a bar-stool at her favorite bar – that she goes to every night after work – enjoying a cigarette when she notices Lorna a few stools away, obviously drunk. She watches her closely, as she talks to some man – who won't stop staring down at her breasts. Shaking her head, she tosses her cigarette in one of the many ashtrays laying around the tabletops, and decides to go over to see what's going on. There's no way that can be the same Lorna she sees out with her son every day.
"How many more drinks until you take me home with you, Christopher? This is your fault, you know? You wanted to have a drinking contest and now I can't even remember where my house is!" That voice – Nicky realizes is slightly off, it's not Lorna's perky Brooklyn accent. It's much lower than usual, and kind of accent-less. Worried now, Nicky walks closer to the two and plops herself down on a stool right next to them. Unfortunately, Lorna sees her, turns and glares at her, "Who the fuck are you? And why are you sitting so close to me?"
Staring at Lorna, her brown eyes are full of confusion and extreme worry. What the hell is going on with her? She's not acting like herself at all, not even speaking in her own voice. "Lorna, come on, you know who I am! You come to the bakery I work at all the time…What the fuck's going on with you, kid? I mean you're not even talking in your real voice!" She questions, looking at her apprehensively.
Lorna (Lola) glances at the redhead and lets out a laugh. "First of all, my name is not fucking Lorna – it's Lola! And second, I've never seen you before in my entire life. Now if you'd be so kind as to get the fuck away from me that'd be fucking great!" She seethes, angrily slamming her fists on the table – her way of trying to scare the taller woman off. There's no way she's letting anyone ruin her freedom; she will not let Lorna come back out and go on with her life while she and Nora are forced to sit back and watch.
Shaking her head, Nicky stands up and yanks Lola off her chair, dragging her to the bathroom. She takes her into a stall and locks it, then has her sit down on the floor. "Your name's Lola? What happened to Lorna? Can you explain to me exactly what the fuck is going on here, kid?" Her eyes anxiously stare down at Lola's, hoping to understand what's happening with her. Something is definitely wrong with Lorna – she's not so together as she makes herself out to be, Nicky realizes.
Holding her middle finger out, Lola growls at the woman. There's no way she's going to say a word about anything – she's not letting this self-righteous woman try to get Lorna to take control again. "You wanna know what's going on? Lorna went bye-bye, she needs a little vacation. All that mommy-ing tired her out, so now I get to live out here. And shit is it fucking nice to be out in the real world again! Oh, you seem confused…Did Lorna forget to mention she's mentally incapacitated? Figures, she's so in denial – no wonder I'm here. I always gotta fucking clean up her stupid fucking messes! You gonna tell me who the fuck you are now?" Lola smirks, coldly staring the other over.
"What the actual hell? Care to elaborate on this 'mental incapacitation' thing," Nicky asks, even more confused now. She could tell something wasn't exactly normal with her favorite brunette customer, but this just completely baffled her. "And uh, I'm Nicky."
Rolling her eyes, Lola shakes her head and glares at her. She's about to respond when a throbbing headache overpowers her, forcing her to shut her eyes and squeeze them tight. When she reopens them, she's not Lola anymore – a calming sensation overwhelms the stall as the woman looks up at Nicky. She ties her hair up in a ponytail, and smiles, "Sorry you had to deal with Lola; she's a bitch to everyone. She's got a lot of anger and hatred inside her – and chooses to take it out on the rest of the world. I'm Ella, by the way. You're probably very, very confused. Lorna has some hefty issues, and tries so hard to hide them. She's been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder back in high school – a decade ago now, can hardly believe it. I can't tell you what happened for her to end up with this, that's for her to talk about when she's comfortable with it. But I can tell you what that is; it's a mental condition where she has other personalities that take over for her when she can't handle certain things. Though, we prefer to call ourselves her alters. There's three of us – Lola, who you met and she's the worst of us, then there's Nora; she's not as bad as Lola but she's still not all that nice, and there's me. I don't usually come out here much, I try to let those two fight it out – meaning Nora and Lola. The reason I came out now is to make sure Lola doesn't do anything to cause even more damage to poor Lorna. Lola is extremely destructive; she's always getting herself in trouble and then Lorna has to pay the price for it. I'll give you a few minutes to let all that sink in, I know it's a handful."
Nicky can't believe her ears – that sweet, optimistic Lorna who comes to the bakery every day with her little boy, is really a mentally troubled woman with a dark and heavy past. "Shit; that's a fuck-load to take in," she responds, rubbing her temples as she tries to comprehend everything that's been said to her. It concerns her to know that something awfully horrific had to have happened to Lorna, for her to end up with such a confusing illness. "So, when exactly is Lorna coming back? I'm sure her son won't like being cared for by a stranger…" She looks at the smaller woman, who definitely isn't the same person she sees every day.
"She'll come out when she's ready, I won't force her. Her son will be okay for a few hours – Lorna won't be away long, she just needs time to gather herself. And make sure the next time you see her that you don't mention any of this to her. Hearing about this will only make her feel worse, and that could jeopardize her and her son's life tremendously," Ella states, staring firmly into the other's worried eyes. She stands up, about to leave, and stops for a second to glance back at Nicky. A sympathetic smile spreads across her face, "Lorna really values your friendship, Nicky. So, don't do anything to upset her because I can't stop Lola from coming out here and wreaking havoc on your life. She's a strong-willed woman with a whole lot of rage firing up inside her – I'd hate to see her push her way out again. I'm sure you won't do anything, though; we all hear how Lorna goes on and on about you, and you seem to be a sincere person. There shouldn't be any problems here."
Lorna wakes up in a panic; she runs into her son's nursery and goes to pick him up out of his crib. When she reaches down, she doesn't feel her son's body nor does she see him. In a panicked state, she rushes down the stairs – hoping to find him in his high chair, but finds he's not there either. She jogs back up the stairs, banging repeatedly on her sister's bedroom door. "Franny, Franny open the damn door! Ronald's missing! He's not in his crib or downstairs with his cousins – please come help me find him!" Tears well up in her eyes as she bangs louder on it.
Opening her door, Franny takes one look at her sister and feels her shatter inside of her. She pulls the small woman into her arms, running a hand tenderly through her hair. "Lorna, honey, Ronald isn't missing. He's with his father, temporarily. Social services came a couple of days ago, and they took him away – but we're gonna get him back for you, I promise. We need to work on getting you better first, so CPS won't have any reasons not to give him back. I'm so sorry this had to happen like this, sweetie," she gently says, holding her sister in a soothing embrace. It angers her that this happened to the young woman; Lorna is a wonderful mother to her son, and no one should have taken her little boy away. That little guy brings so much bliss and love to her sister's life – he is her life.
Hearing that her son has been taken from her, Lorna feels herself breaking apart. Her body begins to shake as mortifying sobs wreak through her. She fiercely holds onto Franny's shirt while staring up at her with wide delirious eyes, "How, how the fuck did Vin-Vinny get custody of my baby?! Why would you let this happen, Fran? Did-did you tell them to take away my son – my little Ronny?!" Anger and sorrow fill her tone, she can feel a headache coming on – knowing that Lola's trying to come out, but she tries as best she can to push her away. If she hadn't have let her out in the first place, none of this would have happened – her son would be safe and sound in his crib.
"Lorna, please calm down," Franny soothes, taking Lorna's head in her hands and stroking her forehead. "I know you hate for your son to be away from you, but you need to get help. No, I promise you I wasn't the one to call CPS – I know how much Ronald means to you, and you are such a great mom to him. They said they got a call from some man, probably some asshole Lola blabbed to. And maybe this is a good thing – you can get the help you need to get rid of these alters of yours. They are only ruining your life, sweetie; they're the reason your son is with his father instead of you." She sighs sadly, giving a motherly kiss to her sister's head. "How about you come with me to drop the boys off at school? I don't want you to be alone right now. And after, we can stop at that little bakery you like for a coffee. Maybe we can pay a little visit to Vinny, so you can spend some time with your son – CPS didn't say anything about that being against the rules."
Nicky's busy putting out a fresh batch of coffee when she hears the bell ring. She turns to see who's walked in, and smiles when she sees it's Lorna – she hasn't seen the woman in days, and was beginning to worry she'd never see her again. As Lorna, and she assumes her sister, come over to the counter, she gets a brown bag to pack with her usual order. "Hey Lorna; how've ya been, kid? We've missed having you here! Where's the little rugrat at?" She immediately regrets her question, seeing the faint tear stains on the shorter woman's face and the apprehensive look on the woman next to her.
The question brings another round of tears to Lorna's eyes as she tries to keep her emotions locked away. Her heart feels as though someone stuck a knife inside and cut into it without even numbing her. "I-I've seen better days," she says, hardly audible to the human ear. Shakily, she reaches in her purse for her debit card and then hands it to Nicky – who's watching her with worry, "Can we get two coffees please? Not that coffee's gonna make my life any better, but who gives a shit. How've you been, Nicky? I hope better than I have!" She barely notices that her hands are shaking heavily against the counter until she almost knocks over the bag – which fortunately Nicky catches just in time.
Franny sighs, giving an apologetic glance towards the clerk as she slowly brings Lorna to a table and helps her to sit down. Once she makes sure her sister is a little more stable, she goes back to get their coffees. She gives a look to Nicky, and quietly says, "Whatever you do, don't mention anything about Ron around Lorna. She had to give him up to his father, and she's having a hard time coping right now. Please, please try not to even say his name in front of her, okay?" Grabbing the two steaming hot cups of coffee, she continues to stare at the redhead. The last thing her sister needs is to be constantly reminded of her son being away, which Franny fears may trigger Lola to come out again.
"Course, I won't say a word; my lips are sealed," she unintentionally jokes. She forces herself to be serious, gives a worried stare towards Lorna – who has her head lying against the table as she silently cries – and then to Franny, "She gonna be okay? I know about her mental illness – I saw her at the bar a few nights ago, and she wasn't herself…at all. I thought maybe that was because of how drunk she was, so I took her into the bathroom to try and sober her up. And instead learned that she's harboring a lot of darkness inside. She calls herself Lola, Nora, and Ella sometimes?"
Freaked, Franny stares across at her with wide eyes. She doesn't want to explain this all to the woman, not when Lorna's sitting a few feet away, but she can tell how confused Nicky is and feels bad. "Lola, Nora, and Ella are not Lorna – they are her alters. They are completely different from Lorna…her mental illness is D.I.D. And stuff like this – her son being taken from her – could possibly fucking trigger one of her alters to take over, which is why I don't want you mentioning anything about him to her. Lola and Nora – Lola especially – are very dangerous, I don't want to risk those two coming out here." She knows how hard it is for her sister to handle such situations as this, and will do whatever she can to keep her together – to stop her from letting any of the others to take control.
It's a Saturday night, and Nicky's sitting in the living room of her apartment – smoking a cigarette while watching television – when she hears a knock at her door. She gets up off the couch and walks over to open the door. Once she opens the door, she's a bit surprised to see Lorna standing there but quickly motions for her to come in. "Lorna, what brings you here? Everything okay, kid?" She looks Lorna over with worried eyes, wondering what's going on. It's not like the young woman to just show up at her house announced, so Nicky can tell that something is up.
Staring up at the redhead, Lorna's eyes are a puffy mess from all her crying and there are faint bruises showing through her porcelain-like cheeks. The past week has been nothing but torture for her – she's hardly seen her son, her sister keeps trying to get her to see a therapist, and her brother moved back in, the same brother who took away her childhood and caused her to develop her mental illness in the first place. "I – can you help me, Nicky?" Her eyes nearly begging as she grabs onto the other's hand and stares up at her, terrified.
Nicky, even more worried than before, takes hold of Lorna and brings her to sit down on the couch. She sits down beside her, turning so they're facing one another. She notices the faded bruises lining her cheeks, causing concern to fill her eyes. "Of course, I'll help you Lorna. What's going on? How'd ya get those bruises on your face, kid?" Her questions are gently asked as she slowly wraps her arms around the smaller woman. She pulls her close to her own body, stroking a hand through her hair.
"I need to get my son back – Vinny won't let me have him and my sister, she wants me to see a fucking shrink as if that's gonna do anything to help with getting my little boy! Please help me Nicky, I don't-I don't know what to do!" Her hands squeeze tighter onto the redhead's arms, not wanting her to dismiss her. She's overwhelmed with everything that's happening in her life, which frightens her into thinking that one of her alters will come out and that's not something she wants to occur.
To see her friend this distraught and broken up, Nicky holds her as tight as she can – feeling her own emotions start to rise. She runs her hand up and down Lorna's back, looking softly into her eyes, "Shh, you gotta calm down a bit, kid. Take a deep breath and relax – you're okay." Okay? Nicky knows the young woman's not truly okay, but she needs to keep her from getting too upset – that way, hopefully, none of those other people would try to take control of her body. "How about you try to sleep for a little? And then later you can talk to me and tell me everything that's going on. Does that sound good, kid?" She gently takes Lorna's head and lays it softly against her chest, stroking hair as tenderly as she can until the woman finally falls asleep.
A few minutes go by; Nicky carefully gets off the couch, places a pillow under her friend's head, and goes into her bedroom to make a phone call. She dials the number to Lorna's house, figuring it would be a good idea to let her sister know that she's safe. After a few rings, she hears a female voice answer and feels relieved. "Hi, Franny; this is Nicky, Lorna's friend and the clerk from the bakery. I thought you might like to know that Lorna's here and she's safe," she keeps her voice down, not wanting to wake the sleeping woman in her living room.
"Oh, thank God!" Franny shrieks into the phone, relieved to hear that her sister is all right. "She's not coping well without her son, and got so angry when I even mentioned she see a therapist – the court said the only way she can get Ron back is if she starts getting treatment for her mental illness. But she won't listen to me, our dad's no help…I don't what else to do for her! And to make things even worse, our brother Mikey just moved back in. Which, now that I think about it, that's probably the reason she ran away… I shouldn't even be telling you all this, but you're a good friend to Lorna and she needs someone to help her through it."
She pauses to take a breath and then continues, "What I'm about to tell you is very hard to hear, and it's something that Lorna's blocked out from her mind – so you need to make sure you never breathe a word of this to her or it will destroy her. Our brother did things to her, when she was about two years old; he did really bad, sickening things to her and is the reason she developed her D.I.D. He is a revolting, disturbed human being – he was only nine when he did this to her, and no one even knew about it. I walked into Lorna's room, one day, and found him on the floor with her, his arms so tight around her tiny neck; he was trying to choke her to death, his fucking two-year old sister! So, I yanked him off from her and dragged him to our parents' room. They didn't even care though – all they fucking did was send him away to some dumb boarding school. And when they took Lorna to the hospital – to make sure she didn't have any permanent damage from almost dying – the doctor informed them not only had her older brother tried to kill her, but he also spent weeks and weeks sexually assaulting and molesting her! You think my parents would have felt angry or guilty that their son fucking sexually injured their toddler?! Nope, of course not. No way could their precious little Mikey do any wrong! But, thankfully, the doctor called social services and had Mikey sent to juvenile prison…Except he only spent five years there and then he was sent to a psychiatric hospital – as if anything could fix the damage he's done – for another ten years. Well, now he's, unfortunately, back in society and of course my father told him to come live at home. The last thing Lorna needs is to be anywhere near him…I don't want her to be around him at all. Is there anyway she'd be able to stay with you for a few days? I'm so sorry to dump all this on you, especially over a phone call, it's just you and her are such good friends – and if Lorna were to see Mikey, God-only-knows what that'll do to her!" If Lorna were to see Mikey, Franny knows that would completely ruin her and bring out her alters for – probably – the rest of her life.
This is the second time that Nicky's almost at a loss for words. She knew that Lorna had to have had a rough past, but this is not at all what she imagined it to be. Hearing what's happened to her friend – this woman who did such an exceptional job at hiding the darkness – makes her heart soar. "Shit – of course, she can stay with me, for as long as she needs. Jesus fucking Christ, that's so filthy what he did to her! Who the fuck does that to a little two-year-old?! And they fucking let him free? Fucking corrupted system that is! Lorna can stay with me until that nasty brother of yours moves somewhere else. Who knows what he's capable of now!? I can't even imagine; that is just so damn sick," she tries to keep herself from yelling, but she's so outraged at hearing what happened that it's hard to hold it in. "And I know of a therapist – through my ma – who's really good, maybe I can try to get Lorna to go see her."
Lorna wakes up to the moon shinning in through the window and in an unfamiliar environment. Terrified, she immediately gets off the bed, running out of the room, down the hallway, and into the living room. She sees Nicky sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette as she mindlessly watches the television screen. "Uh, Nicky – how exactly did I end up here?" The brunette questions, walking further into the room and slowly taking a seat on the other end of the couch.
Turning her attention towards the smaller woman, Nicky stares at her with a hint of empathy in her eyes. She still can't believe what's all happened to her – it overwhelms her with a sense of wanting to protect Lorna, and keep her within close distance at all times. "You slept quite a while, kid," she says, letting out a breath, "Good question, I honestly don't know. I don't think I ever gave you my address. You were very upset, though. You feelin better now that you've had some rest?" She finished the last of her cigarette, placing it in the ashtray on her coffee table, and then proceeds to wrap her arms around Lorna in a comforting squeeze.
Confused, Lorna lifts her head to stare right up into Nicky's eyes. "I don't remember coming here…I just woke up and found myself in some strange bed – oh shit, one of my alters must have come out! I bet it was Nora – she's always so good at pretending to be me. Plus, ever since my older brother came home – haven't seen him since I was in grade-school – she's been trying to get out. For some odd reason, she really hates Mikey. And she's also been getting mad about Franny's suggestion that I see a therapist; I don't want to either but it's the only way I can get my baby boy back, so I really have no other options," she sadly says. Her son is the most important thing to her, and she'll do whatever she can to get him back. But with Nora and Lola refusing to cooperate with her, it might be a while before that happens.
"Well damn, she sure had me fooled…I honestly thought that was you, Lorna," her eyes soft with concern, she runs a hand through the other's short dark hair. It's difficult having to hear how oblivious Lorna is to what happened to herself, and more difficult to have to keep her mouth shut about it. "You know, maybe it's a good thing you're here. You can stay with me for a while and I can try to help you. My ma knows of a therapist and I think it might be good for you to make an appointment with her. It'll help for you to talk to her about things, you know? And plus, you'll be able to get your little boy back sooner. I can even go with you, if that'll make you feel better."
With a sigh, Lorna slowly nods as she looks up at the redhead. She knows seeing a therapist is what she needs and what will help her manage her illness, but she's not sure her alters will comply with her to do that. "I know, I know. I want to go, for my son's sake…but my alters are the ones who keep stopping me. Nora and Lola are so against going to one; every time it's mentioned, they try to take over. I don't, I don't know what to do about them – it's like they don't want me to get better or for me to be a mother to my little boy!" Her eyes glaze over with tears.
The beginning of a headache overcomes her, and she finds herself burying herself deeper and deeper into Nicky's arms – as if they'll stop her from allowing a switch to happen. "Please, please help Nicky…I can feel Lola trying to push her way through, I don't want her to come out! She made me lose my fucking son!" Sobs overpower her as she holds tighter onto the taller woman – trying her hardest not to let Lola through.
Nicky pulls her closer, holding her protectively against her body. She strokes her forehead softly to try to calm her down and stop her from switching. "How bout we just relax and watch TV for a bit? Your mind needs to rest, kid. And Lola needs to go find something else to do, because there's no way I'm letting any of them take over your body tonight. You're safe here with me, Lorna; you don't need to worry. Tell them you're safe. Maybe that will stop them from trying to get out." Her lips press a tender kiss down to Lorna's temple as she holds her tight. She makes a promise to herself to do her best in protecting the young woman, and to keep her from falling completely apart.
Lorna sits in the waiting room, Nicky right beside her, as she waits to be called back for her appointment. After a few days, she decided to go ahead and meet with the therapist that Red knew – in the hopes that something would come of it and she would be able to get her son back quicker. Finally, a woman of Hispanic descent comes walking over to them, calling out Lorna's name. Both she and Nicky followed the woman to her office, sitting down in the two chairs adjacent to her desk.
Taking a deep breath, the brunette sits nervously in her chair. She hopes this goes well and that her alters don't try to do anything to ruin it for her. Her hands shake uneasily against the top of the therapist's desk as she stares at her with uncertainty. "Uh, what's your name?" Lorna asks, trying to ease herself by pretending this isn't really a therapy session – a strategy to trick her alters into thinking the same thing.
"That's my question," the Hispanic woman says with a light-hearted laugh. "I'm Doctor Mendoza, but call me Gloria. I'm not too formal – formal makes this seem a lot less personal than it should be." She opens a drawer to retrieve Lorna's medical files, and places them on her desk. Before she looks through them, she glances back at her patient, "Tell me your name and what illness you have, please."
Feeling Nicky's hand wrap around her own brings a calming sensation over Lorna. She closes her eyes momentarily, trying to relax herself and keep from getting too overwhelmed. "My name is Lorna, and I have Dissociative Identity Disorder," she shakily responds, looking down at her hands. She can feel a slight tug on her, in her head, and shakes her head. There's no way she's going to let either one of them out – she needs to do this not only for her little boy, but for herself as well.
Gloria nods her head while slowly taking a quick glance through the thick folder of medical files. She grabs a blank sheet of paper and jots a few things down on it. Looking back over at Lorna, she gives her a sympathetic smile. "Is this your first time getting proper treatment for it?" She wonders, after not seeing any paperwork from any past therapists. That's understandable to her – with the handful of D.I.D patients she's seen, many of them were afraid of receiving help and talking about the tragic events that brought on the illness to begin with.
"I mean I've seen a few therapists before, when I was in high school…they weren't very helpful. And my parents didn't really believe my illness was real, so they just kinda gave up on me." Lorna nonchalantly speaks, her eyes back to staring at her hands. She's starting to have second thoughts about doing this. She doesn't want to be pushed into talking about things she's not ready to discuss. "My alters didn't like them, anyway, and told me they were trying to hurt me. I listened to them, because they always protect me. Well, I thought they always protected me…but now because of them my little boy's stuck living with his idiot father!" Anger rises as she slams her fist against Dr. Mendoza's desk, causing it to wobble a bit.
Nicky softly grabs Lorna's hands, stroking her thumb over them to calm her down. "Calm down, kid – everything's okay," she soothes, holding her hand snug in her own. It worries her to see the other angry; she knows if she gets overwhelmed, one of the alters might come out and cause her even more distress. And that's the last thing Nicky wants for her friend, who she knows has already suffered too much.
Giving Lorna a sympathetic look, Doctor Mendoza writes a few notes down on the paper. "Would you be okay with letting one of your alters come out? I'd like to talk to them, and get to know them as well. But only if you're okay with that happening. It might make them more comfortable with the idea of therapy, if they get to know who I am and that I'm not here to bring any harm to you." She stares over at the brunette, patiently waiting a response.
The idea makes Lorna reluctant and weary. She doesn't like the sound of willingly letting an alter out, especially when she's not sure if they'll come back inside and give control back to herself. "I-I don't know," her tone uneasy as she stares nervously up at her therapist, "What if I go ahead with this and then they don't give control back to me? I can't have that happen – my little boy needs me!"
"They can only come out on the condition that when I ask for you, they must let you come back." Gloria watches as the young woman sighs and reluctantly nods her head to proceed. She stares heavily into her brown eyes and begins, "Is there anyone willing to come out and talk to me? I'm Doctor Gloria Mendoza, and I'm here to help Lorna – all of you. Please come out here and introduce yourselves, I just would like to get to know you." She waits, noticing Lorna's eyes squeeze shut and her hands go up to massage her temples.
Watching this makes Nicky's heart ache. She reaches over to comfortingly stroke the brunette's back, hoping this doesn't cause her too much distress. Yet, she can tell the woman's in some discomfort with how tight her eyes are closed, and that brings an overwhelming amount of concern to her. It angers that every time Lorna has to switch, she'll have to endure an agonizing volume of pain to achieve so.
When her eyes open, there's a flash of irritation swirling around in them. Nora glares at the therapist sitting across from her, lifting her middle finger to flip her off. "The fuck ya want? Lorna don't need no fuckin' therapist!" She spits out, grabbing a pen off the desk and deliberately cracks it in half. "We been to two already, and that did absolutely nothing but waste fucking money. No one wants to help Lorna – all you fucking shitheads do is hurt her…and now me and Lola gotta take care of everything. We must fix the damage, and quite frankly, I'm sick of it! We do all the hard stuff while Lorna fucking sits around and plays mommy to her little baby! Which by the way, is thanks to me. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't even have that baby!"
Nora rolls eyes, taking the broken pen, and starts chewing on the end of it. "I come out in the middle of a rape attempt – dumbass Vinny decided it'd be a good idea to find a vulnerable woman like Lorna and pin her down and lavishly force himself on her. So, who do you think comes to endure the pain, once again? Me, of course. But the difference is, I didn't sit there and let him have his way – I turned it around and forced myself on him. No one fucks with Nora…unless it's actual fucking! And that's how precious little Ronny was created. So, in technicality, he's my son. But I could never be half the mother Lorna is; she deserves him, he lights up her entire world and even I couldn't take that away from her. Why do you look so damn shocked? Surprised at what I'm telling you, huh? Well, see here, I don't like to beat around the bush like some people do. Anything else ya wanna know?" She innocently bats her eyes at them, smirking all the while.
To say she's shocked would be a bit of an understatement. Gloria writes down a few things on the paper before looking back over at Nora, giving a slight nod. For a first appointment, this definitely wasn't something the Hispanic therapist thought would happen. Most alters she'd dealt with weren't nearly as open as this one is. "It's good that you're okay with sharing such information – thank you, Nora. That is your name, right?" When she gets a nod, she writes it down. "How many other alters are there, Nora? You mentioned Lola, and how the two of you are always having to fix the damage. She's another alter, I presume? Is there anyone else besides the two of you?"
Groaning in exasperation, Nora nods again and does another eye roll. She's sick of being out here, not when it's for something as dull as a therapy session. "Yes, fucking yes! Lola's another 'alter' and she's even worse than me. And there's Ella, the fucking mother hen who spends all of her fucking time inside knitting little kitten sweaters for only god-knows-who. She only comes out after Lola and I fuck things up really bad – you know, she gotta make sure everything's safe and clean for precious, vulnerable Lorna. There might also be another alter floating around in there somewhere, but I think it's a male…and he's quite hostile – none of us like or trust him and we refuse to let him come out; he's dangerous and would probably kill Lorna. Oh, and don't fucking tell her about this male alter; she's not supposed to know," she harshly says, giving them a cold glare.
"Okay, so there's three main alters and a fourth, dangerous one. None of what's mentioned will be told to Lorna unless she asks about it; she can't heal until she knows the truth. But today's only the first day, so we don't have to talk about what's happened to cause your existences just yet – unless any of you three feel comfortable talking about it. Thank you for your time, Nora. Can I speak with Lola or Ella now? I'd like to get to know them, as well," she asks, looking straight into the other's brown eyes. She watches as they, once again, squeeze shut.
Lola emerges a few seconds later, and stares darkly into the therapist's eyes. "Fuck this bullshit! Let's just get to the fucking point – you wanna know why the fuck Lorna had to create the three us to survive in this fucked up, corrupted shithole of a planet?! I'll tell ya why; her dumbass older brother is a nasty fucking animal! He fucking touched her and molested her, when she was a fucking baby! He choked her, on numerous occasions and her family did absolutely nothing about it – I would love to fucking blow them all up and Vinny, too! Oh, you know what?! Fuck it, I'm out here; I might as well do something productive, lemme go pay em a visit and kill them all now. Fucking deranged assholes is what every one of those shitfucks are. I want them dead, and I'm going to do it, because this society did nothing to help Lorna – all anyone's done is dismiss her and break her more. So, I'm gonna go get justice for her by killing every person who did her wrong," she stands up, throwing the chair harshly across the room and starts to head out the door.
Nicky runs after her, grabbing her before she can even open the door. She wraps her arms tight around her, letting tears fall from her eyes as she stares down into Lola's brown, hurt and angry ones. "No, Lola – that's not gonna help her. I understand your anger – I'm angry too, hearing what's been done to Lorna, the absolute sweetest little thing in the world. But killing her brother and her parents is not going to undo everything that's happened; all that will do, kid, is make Lorna's life even more painful and she'll be thrown in prison for murder. You know what will help her, though?" She gently asks, rubbing her back in soothing circles as she looks in to the other's eyes. She's a bit taken aback when she notices the tears in Lola's eyes, and how she's practically clutching onto her own body.
"What will help her most is if you cooperate with her, and try to work with her – don't come out here and do things to get her in trouble. Come out here and do things that will protect her and keep her safe – like making sure she doesn't go walking out on the streets in the middle of the night, or making sure she's doing what she needs to do to get herself better and so she can get her son back. She loves that little boy so much, Lola, and he makes her so happy. You want her to be happy, don't ya kid? I guess I don't really need to ask that, you'd kill her brother for her – that gives me my answer right there. You care about Lorna, I know you do. All three of you care so much about Lorna, and that's why you're here."
Stroking her back continuously, Nicky looks down at her and presses a comforting kiss to her head, "Thank you for being there for Lorna and protecting her when no one else would. But you know what, kid? She's not gonna be alone anymore, I'm her friend and I want to take care of her. I'll keep her safe, I promise, Lola. Now, why don't you go back inside and let Lorna come out, okay? No one's gonna hurt her anymore. She's safe out here, I won't let anything happen to her. And the next time you want to come out, just ask Lorna first. She's not gonna forget about you; you are part of her, all three of you are, but you guys need to respect her and ask before you come out." Delicately, she cups Lola's head in her hands and places it against her chest while running a hand slowly through her hair. "Close your eyes, Lola; you should rest. You're so exhausted, kid – you have so much going in your precious head. Everything's gonna be fine, I promise," she presses a soft kiss to the top of her head, watching carefully as the other's eyes droop shut.
Nicky's heart swells when she sees Lorna's eyes open – minutes later – and can tell that it really is Lorna, herself. She gives her a loving squeeze, smiling kindly down at her, "Welcome back, kid. Ready to head home? I think we can all agree that you've had a fantastic first therapy session." She brushes her hand softly through the woman's dark hair, feeling her head nod against her. Kissing her head soothingly, she stands up and carefully leaves the room with her.
Once they arrive back at Nicky's apartment, she helps her to sit down on the couch while taking a seat next to her. She stares over at Lorna, who seems to be a bit drained as she leans her head onto the redhead's shoulder. Chuckling, she wraps her arms securely around her and places a small kiss to her temple. "You tired, kid? How about you rest in my room for a bit?" She asks, stroking her hair softly.
Yawning, Lorna nods and snuggles deeper into Nicky's warmth. She wraps her arms around her neck, peering up at her pleadingly, "Can, can I just lay here with-with you…on the couch? I kinda don't wanna be alone. Is that-that o-okay, Nicky?" She shakily asks, a bit worried that the other might refuse her proposition. Being with Nicky has helped her to somewhat cope with not having her son around all the time. Nicky makes her feel safe and secured, and a little bit loved.
"Course' ya can, kid," the redhead softly says, lying herself down on the couch while pulling Lorna with her. "Whatever makes you feel better; I'll provide it for you. If sleeping on me is what comforts you and helps you feel even a tad bit better, than so be it. I'm here for ya, kid – whatever you need, you just say so and it's done. Just as long as I'm able to do it for you," the last part is said to herself; knowing how badly Lorna wants her son back, Nicky can't promise she can do that for her because she can't.
She sighs, pressing her lips warmly against the smaller woman's forehead. "You know what, kid? How about tomorrow I take you to visit your son? I think you could really use a day with him – he always puts a smile on your sweet face, just as you do to him."
Lorna happily sits in the living room of Vinny's house, anxiously awaiting her son's arrival. She hears footsteps coming from the staircase, and her heart melts when she finally sees her little boy's face. She opens her arms and squeals euphorically when she feels her son come running into them, "My sweet baby! Momma's missed you so, so, so much, Ronny boy! You look like you've grown a whole inch since the last time I saw you. Oh God, have I missed my little sweetheart."
Her arms wrap tighter around the toddler's tiny body, squeezing him close to her. She presses several kisses all over his head and cheeks, smiling brightly at him. "I love you very, very much, my beautiful boy; don't you ever forget that. No matter what happens, I will always love you, little guy. Mommy will never stoploving you, I promise," she says, tears starting to fall from her eyes as she holds him tighter, pressing more kisses to his head.
Watching the sight before her, Nicky can't help but smile. She adores the way Lorna is with her little boy; it makes her heart melt into a puddle of mush. That's why she finds herself yanking Vinny into the kitchen, so she can have a few words with him privately. She gives him a cold stare, crossing her arms defensively over chest. "Look, Vinny, I know what you did to Lorna. I know that you raped her, or tried to, and that's how she got pregnant with her son. So, here's the deal, dumbass, you give Lorna back her son or I'll just have a little chat with the police…maybe tell them what kind of sick fuck you really are." She gives him a roguish smirk as she reaches into her jean pocket and pulls out her phone – waving it in his face.
Rocking back and forth, Lorna holds her hands over her eyes as she fiercely shakes her head. "N-no, NO," she cries out, refusing to look at the therapist or Nicky. "I-I don't want -I don't want to remember what happened! Please don't make me remember! Stop it, please stop…" Lorna curls into a ball on her chair, burying her face deep into her knees. She scrunches her eyes up tight while her hands are quivering violently against her legs. There's no way she's ready to face the truth; she knows she can't handle it right now.
Doctor Mendoza moves to sit right beside her patient, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. She's seen this play out in all her patients that suffered with D.I.D, and each time it brings pain to her own self – she hates to watch them suffer. "Lorna, I know it hurts to remember what was done to you. But you need to know the truth, that's the only way you can heal from this," she speaks calmly, trying to get the petite woman to look up at her. "Close your eyes and tell me what you see."
Lorna squeezes her eyes shut, sobbing as she does so; but instead of trying to remember the event she runs to hide in her mind, allowing one of her alters to take over. Ella pops her eyes open and turns to stare at the two other women, "Lorna's gone to hide; she doesn't want to know what happened to her. But I think it's time she finds out – otherwise she will never learn how to cope on her own. And that's not going to help her with raising her son. For her to be able to mother her son appropriately, she can't have a fragmented mind. But to fix her mind, she needs to remember the abuse she's been caused. She must face it eventually or she'll be stuck with her broken mind forever."
Taking a deep breath, Ella squeezes her eyes shut for a moment. She's spent much of her time trying to keep this information locked away from Lorna, but she realizes now that it is crucial for she to hear what's happened – especially if she wants to be a mother to that little boy of hers. "From the time Lorna was born, her older brother resented her. He didn't like the fact that he wasn't the baby anymore, and it irritated him to see his parents constantly fuss over her. So, when she was only a few months old, he would go into her nursery and grab her from the crib – shaking her and hitting her, sometimes he'd even throw her back in the crib. Unfortunately, no one knew what he was up to – he made sure to be very discreet about it and only did it when their parents were at work. The older both of them got, the worse the abuse…"
Sitting happily in her crib, Lorna smiled at the faces that her big sister was making at her. She stuck her tiny hand between the bars, grabbing a hold of Franny's finger and put it in her mouth, "Fwa-Fwa!" She attempted to say her name with a giggle. "Uppy, uppy," her arms held out for the older child to pick her up, while she stood up in her crib.
The eleven-year-old brunette laughed, reaching down to scoop her toddler sister into her arms. She stroked the swirls of curls on her sister's head and then gently sat her on the floor. "I have to go work on my homework, but I'll get Mikey to come play with you! You love playing zoo-animals with him, don't ya Lornie?" She patted her head softly, not noticing the slight fear in the little one's big eyes. Getting a handful of toys out from the toy-chest, Franny put them on the floor to keep Lorna busy while she quickly skipped off to get their brother.
Lorna grabbed her stuffed teddy-bear and held it tight to her heart. She didn't like her big brother Mikey; he was mean to her and she wasn't able to tell anyone…she could hardly even say her own name, yet alone a full sentence about what her big brother did to her. When she heard the door slowly creak open, she crawled into the corner of her room – holding her teddy close, trying to hide from him.
Nine-year-old Mikey slammed the door behind him, slowly walking around his sister's nursery. "Come out and play, wittew Worna," he spoke in a mockful tone, finding her tiny figure sitting hunched up beside her crib. A smirk spread across his face as he took her by the arm and dragged her to the middle of the room. "You know you can't hide from Mikey, little mouse. Cats always find their mice!" He pushed her so she was lying on the carpet, underneath him.
His hands roughly drag down her small body, digging deep and hard into her frail skin. He reached one hand up to smack her hard on the face while staring hotly into her terrified eyes, "You are the worst sister in the world, Lorna – mom and dad should have never ever had you! You are nothing but an annoying little brat, and I wish you would just die! Better yet, I'll make you die." Mikey smirked, forcefully grabbing her little hands, and squeezing them hard in his own – so hard that they left his handprints on them.
"No," Lorna cried out, trying to get out from under his touch. "Pwease no huwt me, Mikew…you me big bwudda, me wove you…" She sobbed louder and harder, looking up at the older child pleadingly.
Ignoring her pleads and cries, Mikey grabbed her harshly by the neck and began to choke her, "Bye-bye, little Lorna!" He laughed, squeezing her neck harder as he watched the color start to fade from her face. He barely noticed when the door opened and in came their older sister, forcefully pulling him off the screaming and coughing toddler.
Franny pushed him down and grabbed her sister off the ground, holding her fiercely in her arms. She blew onto her face to get her to start breathing again – something she'd seen her mom do when Lorna was baby and wouldn't stop crying. "Lornie, wake up! Please!" She cried out, pulling her closer to her own body and rocking her.
She turns to stare at her younger brother, anger and sorrow in her eyes, "Why were you trying to kill our sister?! She's so little, why would you want to hurt her and make her cry? I'm telling mommy and daddy as soon as they get home! And I hope they send you far, far away! I'm never letting you anywhere near Lornie again; you're the meanest brother in the world!" Franny screamed at him, then ran into her room – her terrified sister tight in her arms – and locked her door.
Nicky wraps her arms protectively around the shaking and horrified Lorna, rubbing soothing circles repeatedly around her back. She presses a tender kiss to her head, looking softly into her eyes, "Shh – it's okay, kid…it's not happening to you now, it's just a memory. You're safe now; you will never have to go through something like that ever again, baby." Feeling the other shake even more causes her to hold her tighter, laying Lorna's head delicately onto her chest. She strokes her hair over and over, sadly staring down at her.
Sobbing horrifically, Lorna shakes her head. She grabs strongly onto Nicky's shoulders, her eyes bewilderedly looking in to the taller woman's. "M-m-my b-b-brother," she chokes out, keeping a tight grip on her friend's body, "He-he's, he's – he, Mikey abuse-abused me! I saw it, I saw it, Nicky!" Tears stream down her cheeks as she buries her face into the other's neck, not wanting to be alone anymore.
"I know he did, sweetie," Nicky speaks in a soothing tone, kissing the top of her head lovingly. She pulls her closer, using one hand to softly pat her back and the other to hug tightly around her head. "Don't worry, he's never going to get the chance to hurt you again. I won't let him near you, kid, and neither will your sister. You're safe with me; I'll take care of you and protect you so that you never have to go through anything this traumatic again." She presses another kiss to her head, sincerity deep in her eyes as she peers down at her.
Sitting in the living room of Nicky's apartment, Franny holds her sister's son lovingly on her lap. She looks down at him with a smile, "Your mommy should be here any minute, and she's gonna be so happy to see you! Especially after the day she's had – you'll make her feel so much better, Ronny. I bet you're excited to see her as well; she's your whole world just as you are hers." Softly, she presses a kiss to the top of his head and strokes his hair.
The door opens, about a minute later, and in come an exhausted Lorna and Nicky. Lorna's exhaustion fades the minute her eyes land on Ron and she runs towards him, happily scooping him into her arms. She squeezes him tight, pressing a loving kiss to his head, and stares between her sister and her friend. "I – how's my son sitting here in my arms? Do I – do I have full custody of him?" She asks, happy tears welling in her eyes as she looks down at her little boy's face, "Oh Ronny! I love you so much, my precious baby!"
"Well, Lore, let's just say Vinny had no choice but to give up custody to you…And that's all thanks to your wonderful friend, Nicky," Franny smiles, watching the interaction between the mother and son. It warms her heart to see how happy the two make each other, and she knows that after her sister's painful therapy session today, this is exactly what she needed. And she's even more thankful for what Nicky did for Lorna – making her happy to see that the young brunette has someone in her life who will look out for her and take care of her.
Lorna cries even more when she hears what Nicky's done for her, she looks over at her and a warm smile on her face. "Oh, Nicky," she tearfully says, holding her son tight, "You are the sweetest friend in the whole world – I love you so much for getting my son back for me! And I think he likes you a bit too; you gave him his mommy back. You mean so much to both of us, Nicky!" Kissing the top of her head's son, she motions for the redhead to come sit beside her.
Taking a seat beside her, Nicky smiles lovingly at her while reaching her hand over to caress her cheek. She will do anything to see Lorna happy, and that little boy lights up her entire face. And seeing the love those two share lights up Nicky's face. "I love you too, kid; that's why I had to get you your son back. He's everything to you, he makes you glow with happiness and I love to see that. I love to see you and your little boy together," she softly says, stroking Lorna's hair, and then bends down to lightly strokes Ron's curly head of hair. "How would you and little Ron like to permanently move in with me? I love you so much, Lorna, and I would love for the two of you to live with me."
"Oh, God," Lorna breathes out, but smiles brightly as she uses her free arm to wrap lovingly around the taller woman's shoulder, "I think Ronny and I would be absolutely honored to live here with you! You're too sweet, Nicky – you've done so much for me, and my little meatball." She presses her lips softly against Nicky's cheek, a loving look in her eyes.
Franny watches them with a smile on her face – she had a hunch deep inside, that these two were secretly falling in love with each other and that made her heart burst with admiration for them. "I gotta head out, pick my boys up from school," she says, making her way to the door and gives them one last look, "Nicky, please take good care of my baby sister. I know you love her, so make sure you always her show her that. And if you ever do anything to hurt her, I'll make your life hell. But I'm confident you would never do anything to her – you've done so much good for her these past couple of months. I appreciate that you're helping her through everything and keeping her together, that means a lot. All right, I really have to go now. You three have fun together!"
Later that night, once Ron's asleep in his crib, Nicky takes Lorna to her room and lays beside her in the bed. She draws her gently into her arms, pressing soft kisses to her head. "I meant it when I said I love you, kid," her voice warm against Lorna's ear, tugging her closer, "I love you so much and not just as a friend. I love you – like I want you to be my girlfriend kind of love. What do you say to that? Will you be my girlfriend, Lorna?" Her fingers tenderly trace down the brunette's arms, leaving a tingly feeling throughout her.
Snuggling closer to Nicky, Lorna smiles gently as she leisurely nods her head, "Yes, of course. I love you more than anyone – except my little guy – and I want to be with you for as long as I live. Even my alters like you; they know your sincere when you say you'll protect me." She presses a light kiss to the other's cheek, nuzzling her head into the crook of her neck and closes her eyes in relaxation.
"That's because I am sincere – I will protect you, kid. No one will ever hurt you again," she takes Lorna's head into her hands, cradling it softly while looking affectionately into her eyes. "You're safe with me, always. You will never be alone again, my precious Lorna." Nicky trails down the skin of her arm with her hands, in a tender manner. Her eyes are a soft and warm as she stares down at the brunette; the woman who she will love for the rest of her life.
Lorna, momentarily, thinks that it's her brother who's touching her and screams out. She opens her eyes, looking up at Nicky and starts to cry a little as she wraps her arms tight around her neck, "I-I'm sorry, N-Nicky… I-I saw my-my brother's f-f-face—" She starts to say but breaks into sobs, burying herself further into her girlfriend's body. She hates that she remembered and now it's ruined the tender time she is sharing with Nicky.
Shaking her head, Nicky pulls her closer and presses a loving kiss to her forehead, "Don't apologize, baby – I understand!" She tangles her fingers in Lorna's hair, twirling it softly around to bring her some comfort. "You're gonna get through this, kid. You just need to give yourself time and let me take care of you. I'm here – you don't have to do any of this alone, sweetie. I love you with all my heart; I'll be here with you through everything. You'll be okay, you won't ever have to experience anything like that again. Don't worry about that, kid." Her voice gentle in Lorna's ear as she kisses her hair delicately. She lays Lorna's head on her chest, wrapping the blanket around them, and continuously runs her hand through the other's hair – soon lulling her to sleep.
At the bakery, the following morning, Lorna sits down at her usual table with her son sitting happily in the high chair. She beams a loving smile at him, cutting up half of a muffin and putting it on his tray. "Eat up, my little muncher," she says, laughing as he shoves a piece into his mouth. Reaching for her coffee, she takes a big gulp of it and grins when she sees Nicky come walking over to them.
Nicky sits down across from the brunette, giving her a playful smirk, "My two favorite customers are here." She grabs Lorna's hand, bringing it gently to her lips and presses a kiss to it. Turning to the messy toddler, she looks at him as she laughs. His face is covered in muffin crumbs and his cheeks are full with the large amount of food in his mouth. "He really is your son, Lorna. He's got your eating ability," she smirks, but gives a loving look towards her girlfriend.
"He sure does – he loves food! Don't you, Ronny boy?" Lorna smiles, getting up and walking over to him. She gets a napkin, wiping his face as she gives him a gentle pinch on the cheek. "You're the cutest little thing, sweetheart! Momma is so happy to have you back, and that's all thanks to our sweet friend, Nicky," she kisses the top of her son's head, then walks over to Nicky and pulls her up from the seat. Her arms wrap lovingly around the redhead's neck, she pulls her face down to her own and plants a tender kiss to her lips. "I love you so much, honey."
Wrapping her arms tight around the shorter woman's waist, Nicky pulls her in for another loving kiss, "I love you too, baby." She runs her hand softly through her hair, squeezing her close. After a few minutes more, she gentle releases Lorna and walks over to the high chair – where Ronny's staring at them with a possessive expression. "I know you're not entirely fond of me, yet, little man. But I really love your mommy – she makes me so happy and I want to take care of her like how she takes care of you. And I kinda love you too, ya little rugrat – because you make your mommy's face light up every time she sees you, and that makes my face light up. So, ya think maybe you could give me a chance, Ron?"
Nicky's heart nearly melts when his arms reach out for her, she happily scoops him into her arms and smiles down at him. Looking up at her, Ron gives her a serious glance and makes her follow his finger to where his mommy's standing, "She me mama. Ou mawe mama happe, so me shawe hew wiff ou. But no be meen to mama." He brings his tiny finger back to point it in Nicky's face, wagging it to make her see how serious he is.
Hearing that shocks both women. Nicky wraps her arms tighter around the small toddler, and goes over to Lorna, pulling her into her arms as well. She places a kiss to Ron's head, then one to Lorna's while squeezing them both closer to her. "I won't ever hurt your mommy; I love her with all my heart. I want her to be happy too, little man. Lorna means so much to me, and the last thing I'd do is want to hurt her! Your mommy's safe with me, and so are you. I love both of you more than anything," she holds them tight in her arms. Looking at Lorna, she smiles caringly at her and presses a kiss to her lips. "You and your baby are both safe with me, kid. I'll take care of and protect you both – for the rest of our lives. I love you both so much, baby."
