He heard his name whispered over and over, the sound echoing off of the walls around him, bouncing back to him and flooding over his senses. The voices were all different, some soft, some loud, but they all held the same accusatory tone. Bringing his knees to his chest, he lowered his head, trying to block out the sounds. But instead of getting quieter, the rose in a crescendo, speaking full sentences instead of just his name.
"You killed my husband."
"You let your lover kill me."
"You betrayed me."
"You cut off my boyfriend's hand."
"You almost got my wife killed."
"You shot me in the back of the head."
"I was killed for your secret."
Tears began to stream down his face, but the voices only grew louder.
"You almost got our daughter killed."
"Someone you trusted killed our baby."
"Your job killed my mother."
"You ruined my daughter's life."
He lowered himself to the ground, cradling his head in his arms. Curling into the fetal position, he rocked back and forth.
"Please," he begged. "Please stop. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Day after day, the voices swirled around him, whispering in his ear, yelling across the room. He was out of tears by the third day, and his throat was raw from begging them to stop. Now he just sat back in a corner, his eyes closed and his entire body shaking.
"It's not your fault."
At the sound of a new voice, Jack's head snapped up and his eyes searched the room. There was no one there, but he could have sworn that she was right there with him.
"You did what you had to do. You saved so many lives. We don't blame you, Jack. None of us blame you."
His eyes became moist, and tears of relief fell down his cheeks. The other voices began to get quieter as he wrapped his mind around the sound of her voice, the meaning of her words.
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"He's here!"
It wasn't the sound of her voice that startled him back into consciousness, but the sound of heavy boots running into the room. American faces suddenly surrounded him, hands reaching down to undo the chains that bound him. They gently lifted him up from the cold concrete floor and began to carry him out of the room.
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Once they got him back to CTU, they led him to the locker room, where they had laid out clean clothes, a shaving kit, and a fresh towel. Jack took a long shower, letting the hot water cascade over him, over his scars and wounds, rinsing away the pain and the memories of all that had happened to him. Inwardly, he wished that it was that easy – that he would step out of the shower and everything would be alright. But he knew that he had a long road ahead of him, that he would be haunted for a long time to come.
After getting dressed, he stood in front of the mirror and worked on the hair and beard that had grown during his imprisonment. The hair was the first to go, although he couldn't do the best job. After the excess was removed, he picked up the electric clippers and gave himself a buzz cut, reveling in the feel of a clean scalp. When he was finished, he stared into the mirror, knowing that the beard had to go next. But he was afraid that his hands were too unsteady, that he would end up slicing his face instead of simply shearing the hair.
It was while he was debating that she walked in. He heard the door close and he turned, frowning at the intrusion. But his expression immediately lightened when he saw her moving toward him, a nervous smile on her face. Walking up to the sink, she picked up the razor.
"Let me," she whispered.
She did her work in silence, taking her time, letting her fingers linger on his face. He didn't think it was possible to enjoy someone's touch like that, not when all they were doing was resting their fingers against your cheeks. But his eyes closed almost immediately at the sensation, and he sighed contentedly, his body relaxing.
When she was finished, Chloe picked up the towel and wiped his face, holding his gaze when he finally opened his eyes.
"I can't believe you're really here," she said, her voice breaking. "I can't believe I found you."
"You saved me," he said quietly. "You've been saving me all along."
She frowned at that, not understanding.
"What do you mean?"
He led her over to the bench that ran the length of the lockers and they sat down. Keeping his eyes locked on the floor, he began to explain.
"I started to…hear things. While they were torturing me. Voices. People I love, telling me how I had ruined their lives. Telling me that I had destroyed everything. Teri, Audrey, Kim, David Palmer, Chappelle, Tony, Heller…they were everywhere. I couldn't block them out. Every day they got louder, until I couldn't hear anything else."
Impulsively, Chloe reached out and took his hand in hers. Jack held it tightly, lifting his eyes to hers and giving her a small smile.
"And then you were there," he continued. "Your voice, at least. Telling me that you didn't blame me, that it wasn't all my fault. You made all the other voices fade away. It was the only thing I had to hold on to. It was the only thing that kept me from going crazy."
There was nothing she could say to that. Her eyes filled with tears and they slid down her cheeks, her mind envisioning all the horrific things that he had gone through in China. His own emotion choking him, Jack reached out his other hand and wiped her tears away before tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Leaning in, he brushed a faint kiss against her lips. Chloe's hands immediately came up to hold his face as she kissed him more firmly, pouring all the worry and pain and relief into that one moment. Jack's fingers tangled in her long hair, tilting his head as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to him. When they pulled back to breathe, he leaned his forehead against hers.
"Can I keep you?" he whispered.
"You've always had me, Jack. I'm the one that keeps losing you."
He nodded, hearing the truth in her words.
"Then let's make
sure that doesn't happen again."
"What are you saying?"
Locking his gaze to hers, he couldn't hide the tremor in his voice.
"How long will it take you to pack?"
Hearing the promise in his voice, she smiled.
"All I need is an hour."
"Then let's get started," he whispered, pulling her close again.
