Welcome to the Way Bros Experimental Furniture Company!
We specialize in furniture of all types. Our favorite item of furniture, however, is couches. We have several interesting couches to choose from. Come in, we'll help you choose the best couch for your needs.
Observe here our special line for high-energy types (hi, Frank), with a low back for vaulting over; extra thick cushions make for a comfortable landing.
We also have couches with wide arms, perfect for sitting on.
Sleep on the couch often? Try this one, with extra-wide cushions.
Now enter our experimental section.
Here is our relatively new TRAMPOLINE COUCH. Extra wide, extra springy. We recommend this couch be placed under the open area of a house with a loft. *Way Bros Experimental Furniture Co. is not responsible for any injuries incurred while using this product.
Have troublesome neighbors that can't keep their hands off your stuff when you invite them over for parties? Annoying friends that always pry into your affairs?
Introducing the fabulous, entirely new, EJECTION SEAT SOFA. This SOFA features three (3) ejection seats fired individually or simultaneously by a small red button located on the right arm of the sofa. Just have those troublesome neighbors seat themselves on the couch. They won't be able to resist the shiny red activation button.
Don't want friends firing your ejection seats? The hidden activation button and remote activation are also available.
Ejection seats just not ostentatious enough for you? Need something a little bit MORE?
Try this: fresh from the mind of our very own Michael James Way, the new, very powerful, very ostentatious FLYING COUCH.
A simple activation button on the arm sends your couch straight upwards and out to a predetermined landing destination. The flight is fast, stunning and magnificent (landing not-so-nice. Don't worry. Our crash test dummy is working on it).
Interested in purchasing the Way Bros. fabulous FLYING COUCH? Worried about the zombie apocalypse?
Upgrade to the WAY BROS. ZOMBIE SECURITY SYSTEM!
The Way Bros. ZOMBIE SECURITY SYSTEM will be installed personally by Messrs. Way and Way in your home. With the simple push of a button on the wall control pad, the ZOMBIE SECURITY SYSTEM will initiate a complete and total lockdown on your house. All windows and doors will be covered by reinforced steel. All you have to do to escape the zombies is jump onto your Way Bros. FLYING COUCH and press the shiny red button on the arm. The couch will eject you and your family members to a safe and secure location outside of your house. Once your couch is clear, the house will burst instantly into all-consuming flames, destroying all zombies trapped inside.
Worried about where to stay now that your house has been burned to wispy cinders? No worries! The Way Bros. FLYING COUCH transforms at the push of a button into a complete SURVIVAL SHELTER.
All Way Bros. furniture tested by Frank Iero to insure your complete satisfaction with your product!
Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Co. is not responsible for any injuries whatsoever incurred due to the improper (or proper) use of any Way Bros. product.
© Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Co.
Main proprietors: Gerard Arthur Way, Michael James Way
Crash Test Dummy: Frank Iero
Customer Service: Gerard Arthur Way
Main Inventors: Messrs. Gerard and Michael Way
Head of Pyrotechnics Dept.: Raymond Manuel Toro
Contact Us! Need a special couch? Leave us a message and we'll help you find the best couch for your needs!
Hey, Killjoys. I know this is very weird. I see no reason why Gerard and Mikey would want to own a furniture store... BUT IF THEY DID XD I may write later about some random events of this unlikely exploit into entrepreneurism. Frankie testing (trying to break) stuff, maybe hiring Bert McCracken :P I love Bert.
Your detonator,
Rebel Rose
