Chaper 1 - New Beginings.

My name is Christabelle Jolee and this is my story.

I woke up to the sounds of Wall-e's foregin robotick voice and his mechanical prongs proding me violently in the sides.

"Get up you lazy mofafucker!" he yelled robotickly afterall because he is a robot.

You may wonder how I cam to live with Wall-E, but I'll tell you later.

The mexican cockroach jumped on my small and inocnet head.

"You lil' biaacth, get up!" the cockroach yelled in his prebuecent mexican accent voice.

I sluggish opened on my eyes. I looked around the shabby appartment, infact it's more of a kind of trailer or like caravan thing? Anway, I flipped my silky chesniut hair out of my anime-like eyes. and sighed.

*sigh* "Why must you wake-me up so god damn FUCKNG early?" I said in a gentle princess like voice.

OH, I forgot to say, somepeople think and say to me sometimes that I look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, I don't fancy the beat though LOL!

Suddently profesor snape walked into the shabby apparment/trailer/caravan thing and said in a husky and sexxaaayyyyyyy voice -

"I made some cerial, want some?"

Wall-e the mexican cockroach and myself all looked at him in such weird expressions, like OMG, WTF? I've never saw you before in my life. Infact, are you not in that mullti-million dollar film? What the name again? I thaught it was twighlight. Walle and me like to snuggle up on the couch watching it, pretending we are edward and bella. and btw eve left him because her fingers got jammed far to much (refre nce to fthe fim;e:)") and she's a mega slut. She always wears thongs and bikin's around teh house. She doesn't even have much of a figure, I have a better figure than here. But mayeb thats cos' i look like a princess and she's a MOTHERFUCKING robot. HAHA.

So we left to go to work and walla-e hit me on the ehad in an innfectionit way and said you forgot to put on clothes you motherufcking slutt.

OH NOES, i scremaed princess like. I scrambled back to the shabby appartmet/trailer/caravan thing.

END OF CHAPTRER :d (alan rickman was still there btw)

CHAPTER TWO MOTHER FUCKERS:D - Robots of my life.

As I stumbled about putting on a green g-string and matching bra, alan rickman was still trying to feed me some of his cerial.

"It's really good, believe me." he said in a flirty voice.

"Get out my house your fricking peeadophile"

He looked at me with puupy-dog eyes and slowly walked to the door, I sort of felt sorry for him. But it's not my fault he's a peado. As I started to get dressed again, putting on a figure hugging princess dress that was cut short so it still looks like it's kinda in fashion? I'm kind of creative, like gock-wan and shit. excpet I'm better than him and I've been offered tv places loads and loads of times but I'm too busy. I like creating clothing, as I was busy putting on my amazing sparkly girly yet irresitbly slutty dress alan rickman spun around in a snape-like fashion and his clock got caught in the wind as he spun (in a snap like fashion) it was beautiful to watch. As I was mesmerised by his magical display he hit me dead hard with his nose. Have you seen that thing? It could cut metal!! No joke!! I lay on the floor almost deftean but I forgot Wall-e had rigged out my princess dresses with ninja-like shit. Wall-e was my master mantice.

"I AM THE WALRUS" I roared in mid air as I kicked him in his nuts, I was soo proud of myself that I decided to go to mcdonalds with wall-e later. Suddently Wall-e And the magical mexian cockraoch ran in and yelled we have to get away, eve is coming!

I jumped up and ran as quick as I could. Wall-e had built a space-ship fort pod thing. It would take us to the mooN, She'd never find us there.

We jumped in teh pod, but my motherukcing dress got caught in the door to the pod making it shorter. You must be thinking I'm a slut btu I'm not, your just jelous cos I can rock this look and your a fat virgin. Eewwwwww!!!!

Just as we arrived at the moon I screamed OH NOES. THIS IS WERE EVE LIVES, she saw us and ran up to Wall-e and started molesting him with her afro while showing off her lepord print bakine, What a slut I thaught. all this time she was shouting vigerosly at wall-e.

"WHAT THE HAAYYYYY YOU DOING BIAATCH, YOUR MY HOE"

Wall-E looked at me scared for his life, I looked at him with limpid tears in my eyes. But magicly my tears refleacted a total hottie in the corner of mye ye . . . . .. . . . . ZAC EFRON.

Suddenly my dispair for Wall-e disapeared in my tiny braina nd all I could think about was Zac. I suddenly realised that I should probably stay with amy own species instead of a god damn FUCKING robit. What was I thinking? But it's alright because I could tell Zac Efron . . . . . . . loved ME! He was looking at me with his totoaly SEXAY legs. I know it's messed up but we're on the moon and anything can happen "WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE IF YOU GET MY DRIFT?" I punched vannsess hudgens in the faced.

"Thank god someone did that, already! She has been following me about in her god damn sound of music bike(refrence to HSM3)" he said soo sexily that I nearly orgamsed at his manly and totaly not gay voice.

I couldn't speak, I was flabagsted at this total sex god.

"Want to come back to my place" He said sexily as he wanked. ;-)

END OF CHAPTER. (btw I totaly gasped at the last bit there too)

CHAPTER THREE - WHATS IN A BAT?

As I was walking back to Zac's place which is in HollyWood. I saw a emo bum hobo on the corner of the street, I was scared so zac comforted me in his manly arms. He looked closer and from the darkness he liften his totaly darkend brooding and showed his face, he was wearing a kinda mask thing . . . it was . . . . . . .. . . . BATMAN! DA-NAH!

I was freaked out, but then I thaught. HA-HA WHAT AN IDIOT. Batman looked at me with helpfull eyes but yelled vigerously "MUMBLE BUMBLE vampires caqn kill you! run! run! runnn!" At this point Zac Efron pulled me away I thaught to myself "That god, were getting to teh good stuf" In his house we made sweet weet love, I looked into his eyes and for a moment I didn't trust him because they were blood red rather than the former crystal blue. I yelled. WHAT THE FRIICKING HELL YOU HOMO. He looked at me and giggled,

"there colored contact;-"

I believed him and continued, he said he was totaly into role-play vampired but to my shock he bit my neck, FOR REALS! THAT FREICKING HURT I screamed and pushed his totaly toned and hot body off my perfectly shapped figureed body. Just as I thaught I would enevr get away from total sexy beast The window shattered at batman fly-ckicke his way tjhrough. I thaught, OMG HOMO-BUM-JAKE-JUNKIE-HOBO. But he is actualy realy kind. But then to my supriseee he took his dramatic cape and hewas SNAPE FORM EARLIER IN THE STORY. At this point he swished his cape aorund his head to look like some sort of trurban, almost like terrorits. OMG :O. He sweeped me off my feet and took me away from the sexxay man-beast that is Zac Efron. We were flying over the city as I rested in his totaly muscular and almost not realistic arms. I looked into his eyes, and he said "now you know that I PROFESOR SNAPE am the one and totaly only god damn BATMAN!"

We flew into the night leaving a shadow on the moon, making me remember my true-love wall-e. Should I go back? or should I stay here with batman? I'm soo FUCKING confused.

END OF CHAPTER 3 xxx

CHAPTER 4 - HOT TOPIC IS THE SHIT.

Batman took me to the mall last night, and got me HUNDRENS UPON MILLIONS of clothes from hot topic. He got me this sexy corset that I wear with Lady GaGa granny knickers. I kinda suit it, he says I'm sexy in it. Though I still prefer my pretiful Princess Diana Looks 3

Sometimes I think to myself if I was still with Wall-E would I have to dress to impress? Batman always expects soo much of me, and for me to eat cerial ALL THE TIME. I mean WTF, I'M GONNA GET FAT. He puts soo much suger in it I might aswell eat a bag of suger and kill myself. I made him a treat today, I slit my wrists and let my juicy blood flow and drip into a bag of sugar, he ate it with a spoon. He said it was tasty. I started to think THIS IS SOME SERIOULSY FUCKIED SHIT. I miss my old life, I went back to the shggy aprertment thing just in time to see wall-e and the mexican cock-roach get it on. I was disturbed, seriously guys. I thaught I was going to be sick, All those years I loved him. I may aswell go slebean. Just as I thaught that who should walk in but . .. . . a small and very curious looking robot. He had a brown paper bag and asked very burptly and suspiciously WHERE'S MY MONEY. Wall-e suddently sat up and noticed me and this creature. He took the bag and handed him a WADA cash. I was upset, he never spent money on me. I suddenly realised he's a junkie drug-addict. Thats why we live in this shappy shit hole. He stumbled to the kitchen and rolled oer the mexican cockroach. He yelled "ARAAAIIABIBABABBABA" and promptly died. No one noticed, no on likes Mexicans. Oh well we thaught, and brushed him under the sofa. Suddenly ...... 50 million obese people walked in the door that came from the ship wall-e knew about. They all demanded lunch-in-a-cup! And wanted granma to join the fun (refrence to movie) you sick perves I screamed, why can I be normal like everyone elsE? I ran outdoors and ran to an old music venue and lay on the floor sobbing . . stay tuned.

END OF CHAPTER - I KNOW THIS ONE WAS SHORT BUT THE NEXT ONES DEAD IMPORTANT, BELIEVE ME.

CHAPTER 6 - DON'T POKE MY FACE.

As I lay sobbing I heard a very sexy voice say, I want you to poke my face. I turned around horrified. There was the legendry . . . . . . . . . LADY FUCKING GAGA! I squeled with delight, I love her music and I love her even more. She looked down at me with hurtful eyes.

"YOU OK BBES?" she said with such beautiful manerisms.

I looked at her with the tears running down my face with only a corset on and LADY GAGA KNICKERS. She told me she liked my style and asked if I wanted to chill in her dressing room. BTW, I told her all about me prefering princess dresses and she was totoaly inspired.

She looked at me with round homosexual eyes and told me -

"You know BBES, you look JUST like BELE from Beaytu and the Beast! EXECPT HOTTER *WINK*" I was thrilled, she thaught I was hott.

I jumped on her and we made total hot sexy love I was thrilled she wasnt a vampire and she wansnt a robot. After we finished she told me -

"I have a secret for you my beloved, I can only hpope you still love me after this - I am ...... A MERMAID"

I looked down and to my total suprise she waaass a mermaid and had a big fin. OMG GUYS I JUST MADE LOVE TO A HALF FIN LADY. I didn't care, I lover and it was sooo hot. Soo much better than a robot, emo, drug addict, hobo or vampire pedo. She said she had to go on stage and perform but she'd be back soon. Waiting in her dressing room I heard her sweet sweet voice and the lyrics to her songs

"JUST DANCE"

"POKER FACE" WHICH IS SOO TOTALY ABOUT ME AND HOT.

and everything else.

I was sitting admiring her large wardrope when suddenly .. . . ..... THE JOKER KIDNAPPED ME AND RAPED ME LIKE HELL. I WAS SOO SCARED BUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SECRRETLY ATTRACTED TO HIM. HE HELD A GUN TO MY HEAD

END OF CHAPTER. - BTW, I KNOW THIS CHAPTER WAS OVERWHEALIMG, ITS MY FAVOURITE SOO FAR.

CHAPTer SEVEN - A PIE TOO FAR.

I sat there, waiting to die when suddenly he said if I went to the local baker and got him 50 pies I would be alive. I ran huskily to the local baker which is more like a pie shop silly bitches. I got the 5o pies and ran back to him. You see because he's soo much more extremer than 40 caked (refrence to movie). He told me his secret, that he was going to eat ten and use to rest to shove and my face, GAGA ME, and throw at random people in the street to provoce anarky because he's into that shit. Suddenly Lady GaGa came in from her set and bitch slapped him with her mermaid tail.

"WHAT PART OF 5O FEET AWAY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND MOTHERFUCKKKER"

she said burptly and a tad angryily..

The joker admited he's a fool out of love and started to sing that song from angus thongs and perfect snogging that goes like -

"I'M JUST A LITTLE BIT, CAUGHT IN THE MIIDLE. LIFE IS A MAZE AND LOVE IS A RIDDLE, I'M SOO . . ."

He was the cut off from his terrible singing by a sudden throwing of a pie in his face as me and gaga got him back and ran, slithered and flopped into the moon light.

END OF CHAPTER - I KNOW, LOL GGA HAS A FIN? THATS PURE FUCKED UP LOL. I'MSOO CREATIVE.