No matter how much I wish I was in the band, I didn't write these lyrics, nor do I own them. They are official property of Ministry of Magic.
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'House Song by Ministry of Magic'

I'm a Ravenclaw,
I like to read books,
When I cast spells,
They're off their freaking hook.

I'm a Gryffindor,
I'll fly with my friends,
We'll never back down,
And fight to the end.

I'm a Slytherin,
I am very rich,
I'll go on date,
With whoever gets the Snitch.

I'm a Hufflepuff,
Just staying relaxed,
Gimme drinks and friends,
No feuds, we got tact.

Ew, who brought the Hufflepuff?
Hey, I'm just trying to have a good time over here.
A good time!
A good time!

I'm a Ravenclaw,
Got wit beyond measure,
I can catch a Snitch,
Like its caught up in a tether.

I'm a Slytherin,
The house of a snake,
Come get in my way,
And get tossed in the lake.

I'm a Gryffindor,
And we own the sky,
Yeah we always win,
With our rally cry.

I'm a Slytherin,
The top of my class,
If you disagree,
I'll kick your Muggle ass.

Uh, Alan? Do you even know what Harry Potter is?
Well, I haven't read the books, but I've seen all the movies!
Lets beat him up!
Lets beat him up!

I'm a Slytherin,
A big fan of Snape,
If its a MoM album,
We have to say Snape.

I'm a Hufflepuff,
We're true to the end,
United we stand,
So I'll stand with my friends.

I'm a Gryffindor,
As brave as they come,
And my name-sake sword,
Will get the job done.

I'm a Ravenclaw,
My brain is super fast,
Like Sheldon Cooper,
But not a total ass.

So who's this Sheldon Cooper guy, anyway Aaron?
He's from the show 'The Big Bang Theory'
You're out of the band.
He's no Spock!
I don't wanna go!

~x~