Hi. So, I guess someone is finally reading something of mine. Thank You! Sorry if I scared you off, I just do not get too many people reading and reviewing my writings. Is it my fault? *sniffles and teardrops* In any case, please review! *big puppy dog eyes*

Ok, now what you have been waiting for. This is my first Weiss fic (or any anime) that I am posting. It might not be that good, but...oh well, I tried. I tried to get into Schuldich's head after a suggestion from a friend that I should "get to know and like him" better. (Thanks Mako-chan the 384th). Um, one last thing before I get started. "FLOOF!!!!!!" *smiles sheepishly* (those who know me will know what this means)

I don't own any of the Weiss Kreuz characters. Please do not sue me, it would be pointless and fruitless. I also do not claim to be an expert on Schwarz members and may have minor errors. Sorry.



I am not a Monster

I am not a monster. I am human, I feel.

I hear their screams at night. Their pleas for help, their cries of pain, pleasure, and joy. I lie alone in the shadows, silently cursing the heartless being who bestowed upon me this "gift," if it may be called such. It is too quiet at night, the earth too still. I am alone in the darkness with no company, except for the anguished voices in my head. I am alone with Them, and there is nothing to protect me from the voices, or myself. No sounds are audible outside, but I can barely hear my harsh breathing over the ravaging tones resounding in my cranium.

They tire me, yet I cannot sleep. The unwilling minds tell me the things they are afraid to say aloud, their confessions, secret wishes, and innermost desires. The screams of the dying and injured stay in my mind the longest, the ones I have killed personally, and the ones I have killed because of my inability or unwillingness to answer their pleas for help. I feel pain. Whatever else I am, I am not a monster.

I have a heart, though I am afraid to use it. I know of the treachery and heartless acts that are committed every day in the minds of many people, and those who carry out their plots like madmen. I do what I have to do to survive. My heart is stored safely where no one can hurt it, where it can't be touched by evil. I have seen men whose hearts are blackened like coal and shriveled like a chain smoker's lung. I will not give in to evil, to hate. I can't ignore the voices, they are a part of me, nor can I pretend that I am not the ruthless and sometimes passionate killer that I am. But I am not a monster.


*So, what did you think? I hope you liked it. *sweatdrops* I hope it was at least halfway decent, though I realize it was kind of rambly. Please R&R or email me with feedback.