A/N: Hey you guys, this is bjorkchild, and I'm pleased to say that this is my first fanfic in years! When I was younger I wrote a bunch of stories on here actually (if you like my writing style check out my profile with my other stories. I write about love a lot ^^) and then life happened as it so inevitably does. I read the Twilight series in about a month's span of time and I must say it's a pretty powerful idea to have brought me out of a 3 year-long writer's block…and so I give you Sundogs. The setting is in New Moon right around the time Bella discovers Jacob's secret. I deviate quite a bit from the original storyline and on that note I'll go ahead and ramble off the disclaimer's note:

I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF IT'S AFFILIATED CHARACTERS, PLOT LINES, OR MYTHOLOGY. I DO HOWEVER OWN ANY OF MY OWN CHARACTERS THAT I CHOOSE TO BRING INTO THE FANFIC.

A few more notes to consider:

I wrote this with many different songs in mind, so I urge everyone to go and listen as the song choices are very key to understanding the angst in between the characters. Also, as there are a bajillion Twilight fanfics out there, if I've done something with my story that has been done before, please don't flame. After all I haven't read every single Twilight fic on the WWW, so if this occurs I mean no offense. Please give my story a chance- I think you'll really like the outcome. Enjoy guys!

Prologue

My lungs were on the verge of bursting as I threw myself out of the truck and sprinted as hard as I could toward the forest line. I knew he would be there- waiting to take my pursuer head on, completely and utterly alone. I knew it was, in my heart of hearts, a death wish. If only I could just glimpse him, grab his attention somehow, I had the power to turn everything-our entire world-around. But my voice wouldn't be able to reach him, as I was breathing much too hard to be overheard over the cacophony of wind from the storm brewing overhead.

Besides, I didn't have time to breathe. I glimpsed, for just a brief moment, the flash of red fur before I launched myself into the forest.

Chapter 1: Where is my mind?

"With your feet in the air and your head on the ground,

Try this trick and spin it, yeah,

Your head will collapse but there's nothin' in it and you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

Where is my mind?

Where is my mind…? I'd wondered that for a long time, watching the water from the shower swirl down the drain, just like my thoughts, my world, my everything. I'd sat down in the bottom of the tub just staring- the hole in my chest, aching.

I'd had just about enough of this whole ordeal. The past several months had been complete hell, and yet no healing came. No sweet release, or healing hand of Time that washed over me and let these terrible feelings of agony and emptiness go away not unlike the water that went down the drain. The only feeling of remote happiness came when I was around him. And even now, that had become an entirely whole new issue.

Because, not a week before, I had found out that Jacob Black, my own personal, healing sun, was a werewolf.

I shifted uncomfortably but let the shower cascade down on me, hitting my face and drenching my hair. I'd wondered, given this new discovery, what it all really meant in the end. I knew he was safe- that thought I had never questioned. I saw in his eyes, though hard and bitter as of late, that he would never, ever hurt me. What I was most concerned about was the fact that I never got to see him anymore. At first he'd shoved me away telling me to go home and not to come back. I remember standing there looking at his hard, angry mask, complete shock sweeping through me. I was angry too, though, thinking that Sam Uley had finally gotten to him. Fury, unabashed rage had coursed through me- thinking back it was actually exhilarating. Any emotion that strong, good or bad, was exhilarating these days. But he's sent me away- words like acid, stinging to the core.

Everything changed though a few days after that; after my encounter with Laurent in the meadow, and the wolves. The huge, angry, bristling wolves…no animosity towards me though, all energy was centered on the vampire.

Later he came to me and gave me the clues to figure it all out. He was so different in my room that night than the previous days- more vulnerable, more remnants of my Jacob. That's what hurt me the most about this whole ordeal. It wasn't the fact that he was a shape-shifting wolf, and we had already cleared up the fact that I thought him and his pack were the ones responsible for the missing hikers which turned out to be a huge misunderstanding. I could deal with his abnormality- after all I had dedicated my whole existence to a vampire. It was that now, I feared, I would only ever see a shadow of the boy that had helped me through complete darkness

I gulped down the lump in my throat that had been growing for several minutes now. Thinking about him, even mentioning the word "vampire" to myself was still too much. I remember I had told Jacob in the movie theater that I was "damaged, a car that would never run right". I still fully believed this. The solace Jacob gave me was only brief, only lasted when he was actually around me. Now however, in the aloneness of my shower, I had nothing. What was I going to do? The gaping wound seemed to be growing bigger by the day; instinctively I wrapped my arms around my torso.

In that moment the strangest thing happened.

I looked through the shower drops, just a foot away from me and say in very vivid detail, Jacob Black. He was smiling at me, white teeth illuminated behind broad, tan lips.

At first I blushed furiously, immediately covering myself. But his eyes didn't scrutinize and no air of perverseness crossed his face- his smile was warm, but not mocking. I stared at him, wide-eyed and for some reason reached out to touch his face which was dripping with water, but felt no skin give way under my fingertips. In turn, he reached towards me and I felt his insanely hot fingers graze my cheek. I no longer felt ashamed of my nakedness; after all, he was just a figment of my imagination and I had never felt much inhibition around him. I could be myself, wholly and fully, when I was with him without feeling silly. Now I just sat with an open mouth and relished as he cradled my face. This was strange and foreign to me-I'd only ever had this phenomenon happen with him. I'd hear voices, still, and with certain dangerous, risky situations I saw his actual form. But this situation was nothing like that; I'd just felt bad. Then there he was. Telling me with his eyes that everything would be ok. I sighed heavily, not knowing if tears or shower water ran down my face.

Bella…

My eyes flew open. Jacob's face had gone from warm to hard and he looked past me in the distance. At once he let go, with an apologetic look in his eyes, and I felt cold stone arms wrap around me from behind. I gasped. I hadn't felt those arms in ages…

Immediately Jacob was gone, and I felt a horrible sense of loss overwhelm me; but that lasted only so long as I felt cold breath on my neck.

Bella…

I glanced over my shoulder and saw a perfect, beautiful, angelic face that was only too familiar.

Edward…

He smiled velvety at me, snuggling my nose- and then winked.

I love you…

I'm not sure if that voice was his or mine. But it was too late, as he was gone then too.

I shivered, looking around, but I was thoroughly alone. I stood, defeated, and turned off the shower head. Reaching for the towel, I still felt that immense coldness envelope me. Drying off, I only realized that the gaping wound was still acutely there. I chuckled darkly to myself, thinking I had gone completely mad. Not only had I had one but two hallucinations visit me. In the shower.

Maybe I needed to see a therapist.