Title: "I want to go back"
Rating: T (subject to change)
Summary: AU - Callie and an unexpected journey. Who will she meet and how will it end?
Note: I started writing this story in Spanish in 2015, but I never finished. I wanted to translate the story and continue in English, but I was a bit afraid to do it without the support of another person, because English is not my language. After much thought if I should do this, I finally dared and decided to publish it without any revision. I apologize in advance for all the mistakes, but I did it in the hope of finding someone willing to help me with grammar and spelling.
I've tried to leave it all behind me
But I woke up and there they were beside me
And I don't believe it but I guess it's true
Some feelings, they can travel too
— Florence and the Machine.
Prologue
- Present -
The wind hits her face and the soft breeze plays with her hair. She takes the lapels of her jacket and pulls it towards her body to resist the sudden cold. She takes a deep breath and involuntarily her eyes filled with tears. She clenches her jaw trying to stop the sensation, shakes her head and tries to focus on her surroundings to contemplate what is in front of her.
The smell of the sea sneaks in a sigh and the sound of breaking waves startles a heart that sometimes seems asleep. The cold sand under bare feet shakes sensations that seemed numb, and the gentle breeze whispers memories of other times.
There are places that awaken memories that were asleep. Images, smells and sounds that take us along paths that seemed forgotten and transport us to another time.
A time where life was simpler and carefree, where everything seemed easier, regardless of whether the world was falling apart around us. A time in which to play was always eternal, where a story was enough to ward off fear, where heroes defeated the villains, and good triumphed over evil.
A time where life was composed of dreams and hopes, illusions and desires. A time when you could reach the highest mountain simply by closing yours eyes, and a hug was enough to push back the darkness.
"Where did those times go?"
The woman smiled at the memories of when she was just a child and, like sequences, memories of a lifetime passed through her mind.
She sighed deeply and frowned as she felt the tears build up in her eyes, then clenched her jaw in an attempt to stop her emotions. However, all she got was to see even more diffuse by the moisture accumulated in her eyes.
She put her hands on her waist, looked at the sand and shook her head. She didn't want to cry, but the tears fell down her cheeks without being able to contain them. With impotence and hardness she ran her hand over her face and wiped away her tears, but emotions seized her. She leaned forward, rested her hands on her knees and burst into tears, completely dejected.
The woman cried for what she felt, for what she had felt, for the many times she hadn't cried and for all that she had repressed. She felt the sadness anchored deep within her, and in the midst of the loneliness, she allowed herself to feel unrestricted.
She couldn't control her sobs and her body trembled uncontrollably, however, it wasn't long before she straightened up and forced herself to regain control. She inhaled and exhaled several times wanting to recover from the sudden anguish.
She lifted her head and looked up at the sky. She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them again. It seemed that the sky would fall on her at any moment, she felt small under that immensity. For a moment, she wished she could find there the answers she needed so much there.
. . .
Chapter 1
- Some time ago -
Nothing is what it seems when, at some point, our senses are distorted. Time goes crazy, spaces are transmuted and thoughts are confused. An anesthetized reality, where unconsciousness prevails and it is difficult to determine if what you see is real or some trick of the mind. Today was one of those days?
. . .
Callie focused her gaze on the horizon, looking but not seeing. Today, she felt as if time has been lost, her mind was in conflict, and she was distressed without knowing why.
She was standing, from one moment to another, in a place she hadn't visited in years. She looked around wanting to find something or someone who could explain how she got there, but nothing, everything was deserted.
How had she gotten there? That was what she wondered, but she didn't know.
Callie couldn't determine what was happening. At first, she had been surprised when she realized where she was. Then she thought that maybe she was having one of those days when the hours were lost and the reality was confusing, but something felt different.
She knew who she was, she recognized where she was, but she was sure that her life didn't belong there, however, in her head there were missing pieces.
Callie stayed there, lost in her thoughts, and unaware of the hours that passed. Only when the sun set on the horizon did she realized that it was already late and, as if her movements were directed, she began to walk.
When her feet left the sand and came into contact with the pavement of the small avenue that went up to the residential sector, she turned around. She looked once more at the beach and hugged herself to continue on her way.
Callie hadn't walked much when she stopped at a house she knew very well, but hadn't visited for many years. She could notice the abandonment of the property, even when the grass seemed to have been cut.
While walking through the garden towards the house, she looked for something in her pockets without knowing what she was looking for, but she had nothing. She looked at herself and realized that she didn't have a purse, documents, telephone or anything else with her. She looked at the street, where several cars were parked, but she didn't recognize any.
She wondered, once again, how she had got there.
Callie stopped at the main entrance to think what to do, there was something that felt bad. She looked at neighbouring houses, thinking that maybe someone could help her, but it was too late and it was better to find a place to spend the night. Tomorrow she could find out what was happening or how to go home, wherever it is.
She walked around the front of the house looking for a way to get in, but found no way. With her hands on her hips, thinking what to do, she looked to the right side and decided to skip the fence that led to the backyard.
When she was already there, suddenly, a memory passed through her mind. She quickly approached a flowerpot with dry earth, but that in her recent memory had seen with beautiful flowers. She lifted the flowerpot and found a rusty key underneath it.
Callie turned the key between her fingers while her gaze was lost for a moment. She smiled sadly, but quickly shook her thoughts and walked towards a door she still remembered. She turned the key with difficulty and finally the door opened.
She looked through the door and took a deep breath before entering. She walked slowly through the kitchen in the darkness, until she reached the living room. There, she lit a lamp and the room was dimly lit.
Callie walked slowly looking around and remembering what was once this place. Everything was covered in dust and some furniture was covered with a cloth, even so, she could remember what that place had been like. However, some memories were distant and diffuse, or maybe she didn't want to remember everything?
Between past and present memories, Callie felt frustrated, her mind was a complete disaster. She dropped on the sofa with a snort, she was exhausted and her whole body ached, as if a train had passed over her. She leaned back and closed her eyes wanting to turn off her brain for a moment, but fell asleep unexpectedly.
. . .
A strong light hit the woman's face and she struggled to open her eyes, the sun that came in through the windows had awakened her. She moved lazily trying to ward off the sleep and fatigue she felt. She narrowed her eyes a little disoriented. Then, suddenly, she got up and looked around. - It wasn't a dream. - She spoke and snorted exasperatedly.
Callie began to feel restless as time passed and she moved nervously from side to side. She didn't know what to think or what to do, the situation was very confusing. She needed something to calm her nerves urgently.
Desperate and anxious, she began to open and closed some furniture, she only stopped when she found a bottle. Callie didn't even stop to see what it was and took a long sip, then grimaced. She looked at the bottle and read aloud, "Vodka". She took another sip and shook her head when she felt the burning in her throat as she set the bottle aside. She breathed deeply trying to calm down, she knew it wasn't advisable to drink, she had to keep her mind clear.
Callie paused and forced herself to think. The logical thing was to call someone to come for her, but she wasn't able to bring someone to her mind. She was experiencing gaps in the memories of her present, but even if she could remember, she had no phone, no money, no documents, nothing. Therefore, it was best to go out and ask for help.
. . .
Once on the porch of the house, she looked around. The place hadn't changed much over the years and she wondered if the same people still lived around. Then her gaze stopped at the house on the right where a woman was watering the lawn. She frowned when the woman's face looked familiar, then a name came to mind, "Elis?"
Callie went down the steps to look more closely at the woman. She walked and stopped halfway when she saw the woman raising her head and looking in her direction. The years had passed for the woman and her hair was whiter, but she was Elis, of that she was sure. A smile appeared on Callie's face and she spoke. - Elis. - She was excited when she realized the woman was about to speak.
- Amanda, How's John? – Callie looked confused at first, but then she turned her gaze to the house to her left, and realized there was another woman. She sighed a little disappointed but returned quietly to the porch without wanting to interrupt.
When they said goodbye, she took the opportunity and approached again. - Elis! - Callie spoke but the older woman didn't hear her. - Elis! It's me, Callie. - Nothing. - You don't remember me? - The old woman finished what she was doing without paying attention, she turned around and then disappeared in her house.
Why the woman who ignored her? They haven't seen each other for many years, but they knew each other.
Without giving up, Callie went to Elis's house and knocked on the door insistently, but no one answered. - Elis! I'm Callie, please open the door... - She took a breath to continue. - I know that maybe you're hurt... or angry at me... but please... I need help. - Her last words came out in a whisper as she leaned her forehead against the door, feeling defeated.
Callie felt sad. She knew she had left that place without looking back, but Elis couldn't ignore her like that. But then, her mind took her to other possibilities. Elis was elderly, maybe she had memory problems and she didn't remember her, but why not open the door?
"Maybe I'm frightening her", was what she finally thought. She turned and looked at the street thinking what to do when she saw another woman walking towards the house.
- Hey! - Callie spoke when the other woman was closer, but the woman didn't look at her. - Really? Everyone ignores me? - The woman continued walking without saying anything, simply took the keys from her pockets and went to the door. - Look, I know you don't know me, but could you help me? - Callie didn't receive a response.
Annoyed by the lack of respect, Callie approached the woman to take her arm, but couldn't, something stopped her. - Hey! Can you hear me? - She came through the door after the other woman. - Hey! Look at me, please, I'm talking to you.
After several attempts, she gave up. Now, Callie was aware that the woman couldn't see or hear her, so she guessed that the same thing had happened to Elis. What was happening?
She was silent for a moment and her mind went completely blank, but little by little she began to feel an inexplicable fear. Suddenly, a chill ran through her body and panic flooded her. Without wanting to be there another second, she left the house.
Callie walked down the street faster and faster until she started running, not knowing where she was going. Suddenly, she stopped and looked around disoriented. People passed around her as she moved restlessly and scared. She tried to talk to them to get their attention, but nothing worked. She tried to touch them and couldn't either. She desperately wanted to be heard, considered by someone, but nothing.
What had happened to her or to others people?
An oppression in her chest stopped her thoughts, and suddenly the anguish and anxiety caught her. From one moment to the next, Callie felt as if she were trapped or controlled by something else, and that made her desperate. Her hands began to sweat as her heart beat very fast, and her head seemed to explode at any moment.
There, in the middle of the street, she fell to her knees and began to cry like a child while people walked around her ignoring her presence. Little by little, she saw them as blurred and distant sequences, while the bustle around her was heard farther and farther away. She was scared, tired, her body felt weak and aching... then everything turned black.
. . .
