DISCLAIMER: I do not own this show, the books, or these characters. I only borrow them.

Chapter 1: Autopsy

Dr. Maura Isles knew she was too close to the case and should have had one of the other medical examiners do the autopsy, but the Rizzoli family wanted the best and she wanted to give them that. She had already failed to save the life laying prone in front of her and it was the least she could do to make sure the dead was processed quickly to ensure all the paperwork could be tied up and no disturbance of the body would be needed down the line.

She started the external examination like normal, but it was far from normal. There were no abnormalities of the head to note on the forms; however there were many differences that her brain cataloged. Without blood flowing through the body the lips took on a blue-hue, but she remembered a time just a week ago when the lips were suffused with blood after a breath-taking kiss. The lips forming into a coy smile before the couple moved into her bedroom. Those lips would never be able to whisper reassuring words after a tough case. Her brain flashed the thought that it was more the lack of air to breath out to vibrate the vocal cords that would prevent those reassuring words from being spoken, but for once she didn't care about the technicality of the situation. She glanced quickly to the closed eyes and knew that she would never see the sparkle in those eyes when she got too verbose, or see the love that those eyes could portray due to the movement of the muscles around the eyes and mouth. She noted the lackluster hair rather then the shiny brown locks that she loved to card her fingers through. One last time she used her fingers to massage the scalp, but this time feeling for any bumps or scraps to place on the form. Finding nothing she moved her examination down the body, glad to move away from seeing the lifeless face pointing up at her.

Next, Dr. Isles decided to move onto the extremities. She noticed some slight bruising on the right arm and noted the location on the autopsy forms. Not one to make assumptions, Maura would note down anything she found and let the detectives take it from there; however she mused that Jane probably would have pointed out it was from falling on that arm after being shot. While that thought was probably correct, Maura just wanted to make sure that every possibility was left open. Well that and she also had a fear of being wrong, so it was easier just to give all possible scenarios and let others make the final deciding leap.

She picked up the right hand to feel for any protrusions or unnatural bone movement. There was again nothing to note on the forms, but she picked up on the personal differences. The hand was cold without the warm blood continually cycling through the body. She remembered those warm hands that seemed to ignite her body and soul, or the callused fingers from the odd plumbing job, to shooting a gun, or playing sports which would gently stroke her face after mentioning that Maura was their world before leaning in with a kiss to seal the words. Dr. Isles placed the hand back in the prone position and walked away while telling herself that she needed to finish checking the lower extremities, but knowing more it was the fact that she was so close to just clutching the hand and never letting go as she cried for her loss.

The legs were quickly examined and noted to be clear of any injuries, and so the torso was the next step as there was a great deal of external injuries that could be seen in the chest and abdomen area. First the location, size, and bruising around where the bullet impacted was drawn on the worksheets in front of her. She next drew the location of the surgical sites and noted the start of healing in skin around the sutures. The medical facts and the black and white outline of the human body helped Maura separate her feelings from the truth of the situation. However her memory, which had always been her strong suit, occasionally would throw a past emotionally charged thought into the forefront. As she finished jotting down the location and size of the hole on the left side her thoughts flashed back. Dr. Isles had never before been afraid of blood, but she was used to blood pooled around cold bodies rather then gushing out of a warm one from the hole in the chest wall and bubbling out of the mouth. She watched as the wound was created and saw the blood that started to flow as a result. For the first time ever, Maura wished her brain didn't function as it did because in a split second she mentally calculated how long the person had to survive with the speed the blood was leaving the body to the amount of blood in the body. She even came up with a shorter time to account for the blood that was probably pooling in the body due to various internal injuries. Maura shook herself out of her memories and was surprised to see no blood covering her gloved hand. She pushed her personal thoughts back down as she put the finishing touches on the external examination paperwork.

After the brief break, Dr. Isles picked up a scalpel from the instrument tray and positioned herself in order to start the normal Y-incision. Taking a deep breath she makes sure to avoid looking at the face as she starts the cut. With the skin and muscle pulled away, she is quickly able to see the cracked ribs that were caused by the impact of a bullet and some additional surgical wounds that tried desperately to patch the person back together. Maura noted the lower left ribs that were noticeably injured. But she decided to wait until the chest was further opened in order to more accurately note what was surgical damage and what was the initial injury. The thought of getting someone else to cut and retract the ribs fluttered briefly in her mind but she didn't want to let go for even this bit. They had joked once that she hated giving up control of a situation, but it was even more then that. It was the last few moments she had alone with them. She could talk freely in her morgue, always could as the dead would never tell her thoughts and feelings to anyone else. She just wished that this once she might get a response back. She poured her anger at the situation into the force needed to wield the heavy bolt cutter, "Damn it, Rizzoli, why did you have to die and end up on my table." She had heard other cops and detectives use the name Rizzoli, but she never really liked using it. She would either use their given name or some other term of endearment, but the harshness of the surname seemed to fit her mood of late. She always knew there was a good chance she would outlive the other due to the high risk job and often being in the line of fire, but she never thought that the end would have come so soon. She berated herself for that wishful ideal. She worked with death all the time and knew that it often struck quickly and before people naturally should have passed away. She should have know better and grasped at living for all it was worth while she had the chance.

With the chest cavity opened up, Dr. Isles started with the heart. She could see some dead tissue on the outside wall, and as she cut the heart away to weigh she noticed a blood clot and so the determination of death was closer to being made. She would have to look at the legs and lungs to learn where the clotting started to learn if the issue was from a leg embolism from not moving after surgery or was from the initial gun shot damage. Regardless of what the paper would state at the end, she knew it was due to that horribly tragic day only 5 day ago. She needed to make sure the proof of that was solid so she and the Rizzoli family could get some closure by nailing Marino's ass to the wall and anybody else he would snitch on after he recovered from his gunshot wounds.

After writing about the blood clot on the forms, she walked the heart reverently over to the scale. She noted the weight down as in the normal range and she pondered that for a moment. Her lover's sense of romanticism must have rubbed off on her slightly as for a brief moment she wondered why the heart wasn't abnormally large due to all the love and affection that was showered on her. She knew that love was just hormones and chemical receptors, but she remembered a cheesy card she was given that showed a stick figure handing over a badly drawn non-anatomical heart stating 'I give my heart to you.' The feelings she had tried to bury all day were hitting her full force.

Glancing at the open body and seeing the main wounds remaining that needed to be cataloged, she knew she needed to have another M.E. finish the work. She knew she wouldn't be objective when trying to write about the wounds she tried to heal but failed, and she didn't want to mare the paperwork with tear stains as she could feel them forming. Luckily her two best M.E.s, who she personally oversaw their training, were not in the field yet looking at other dead bodies. She handed the remaining work over to them and once Dr. Isles saws that the body was being respected and the forms were being taken care of precisely, she went down the hall to her secluded office, shut the door, and finally let all the emotional build-up from this horrible week flow out of her.

After a couple hours of staring blankly at various autopsy reports in front of her, she was told that the forms were completed so she could look them over to make sure their wasn't any I or T that she felt still needed crossed or dotted, the Y-incision was being closed, and so all that was left was signing the forms and releasing the body to the family. Thanking the doctor in front of her, Maura took the file and walked back down the corridor and into the morgue. Trying not to lock the image of the cold faced stare into her memory as that was not what she knew and loved, she looked down to see the now close Y-incision which seemed to bombard her with the questions her lover couldn't ask: "Why did this have to happen?", "Why couldn't you have given an answer when the question was asked?" and she fingered the ring on the chain around her neck—the ring which would only be a promise ring as she couldn't find the strength and the courage to say yes when asked. She wished the brain still worked to process the quiet, "I'm so sorry." She pulled the sheet up and after a soft glance covered the face. She knew she would see it only once more, staring up from a gilded wooden box.


Staring numbly at the wall, the signed autopsy report beside her, Maura's thoughts whirled quickly from the past, present, and the future she would now never be able to have. A voice tried to pierce her thoughts and grab her attention- a voice sounding like Jane but she knew that couldn't be. However when her eyes focused in front of her she noticed her best friend sitting in a wheelchair in front of her, and Detective Frost hovering by the door.

Jane noticed the questioning look at first herself and then the wheelchair and to fill the silence stated, "It was the only way the doctors would let me leave briefly..." She paused and took a deep breath before getting to the real topic at hand. "Is he ready to be released," she asked as she glanced at the sheet-covered body. She struggled to stand up. Both Frost and Maura rushed to her and each grabbed an arm to help with the upward motion and then to support her as she took the slow and painful steps over to the metal table. She pulled back the sheet enough to see the face of her baby brother, the one who wanted to be just like her and so followed her shadow into the Boston PD. She wanted to shout at him that to follow her he would have to be alive, but wondered if maybe he didn't follow her subconsciously as she felt dead inside. Maura's voice lightly punctured the numbness.

"Yes, he's ready to be release," from her morgue, from the land of the living, from her heart... her words meant so much but she realized with this last glance that he would never be released from her heart.

The ends of the Y-incision that were visible threw out another question, 'Why don't you tell the family?' Maura glanced at a grieving Jane, and knew that the rest of her family was also in a state of shock and grief. Thinking it would be unfair to burden them with this new information, she vowed to keep the relationship to herself. So only she and a dead man would know that she was once 'Frankie's girl.'


AN: I hope as readers you give this story a shot, even that you now know it's not a Jane/Maura romance...but neither is it only Maura/Frankie. They are just a small backdrop for this story that is mainly about Jane and Maura as friends, the Rizzoli family in it's entirety and how they handle, or don't handle the lose of a family member, and then case heavy around chapter 20. That is the main place we see the dynamic duo...at work, and a few moments here and there relaxing at home.

I know the pairing of Jane and Maura for the characters can be confusing, but the books are labeled 'A Rizzoli and Isles Novel' because those are the two main characters dealt with, even when all the others make an appearance. Story is labeled tragedy/friendship for a reason.

Really hope you give the story a shot...but if not, hope you find some that you really enjoy :) Have fun reading.