Hello?: 'Sup everyone! I've created here for you a collection of 49 one-shots, all depicting different scenarios, with different character pairings, yatta yatta. These are really just manifests of things that affected me during the day – my life is so astoundingly exciting that I have forty-nine one-shots dedicated to it (not). Really, these are leisure posting, and will probably only be put up during breaks in my stories (when they are posted).
Disclaimer: Nephilum Kat owns naught but the computer she has typed on and the crappiness of the stories themselves. No prophet is being made through these short stories, and none ever will be.
Warning: Chapters have individual ratings. The general rating is probably T. It will, however, be raised, depending on latter chapters. All chapters are un-beta-d. The pairing, chapter raiting, and notes will be posted above the chapters. If a certain coupling does not appeal to you, please skip the chapter. Don't come crying to me about a couple you don't like - yaoi, yuri, or het, depending - because, obviously, you didn't read the notice above the chapter. /end rant

Now that I'm done fuming, please enjoy the oneshots. :3


Paring: ShikaIno
Chapter Rating: K, pure fluffiness
Notes: Mwahahaha. Evil. Or crap. Call it what you will. I really don't like this one, but I just couldn't bring myself to redo it, after it was redone three times.

It's Always


For some one in the ninja business, there is always something to be done. People to guard, packages to be delivered, missing nin to hunt down. But, no matter the mission, no matter the client, or the circumstances, a ninja must always be ready.

Take the infamous disciple of Gai, Rock Lee, for example. Vigorous, hard working, and attentive – to a degree – Lee is a great ninja. He takes every mission seriously, from delivering mail to capturing rogue ninja, everything is a trial of his endurance.

But, even if every ninja where like Lee and Gai – thank Kami they aren't – they would not be prepared for the greatest mission of all… a relationship. As one Nara Shikamaru finds out.


The shower had been running for forty-five minutes, and there seemed to be no end in sight for the pitter-patter of water. Shikamaru sighed. Women, he knew, where fickle creatures, and he had best let Ino do as she pleased, lest her feminine wrath fall on him. And that, fellow ninja, would not be good for the lazy genius.

He had just sat down on the recliner– after having gotten up from the bed, the blankets where irritating him – when there was a thump and a cry of "SHIKAMARU" that he was sure the entire village heard.

Standing, he waltzed leisurely to the door, before opening it and slipping inside the bathroom. "Yes, Ino dear?" He asked, while leaning against the marble sink top.

The blonde woman peeked around the translucent blue curtain, her hair turned light brown by water and shampoo. "Which body wash should I use? Lavender or chamomile?" She asked, her hands clutching the side of the curtain to her front. It wasn't as though he hadn't seen her naked.

"Lavender." He rolled his eyes.

"And conditioner? Rose or violet?" She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Rose." He yawned.

"And soap? Blue or green?" She put one hand on her hip, glaring at him.

"Green." He drolled out, tossing a smirk at her.

"Thank you dear, now off with you." She grinned like one of those perverse old ladies and waved him off, and he exited the bathroom with only a puff of steam to show for it.

It was twenty minutes later that a purple towel clad Ino exited the bathroom, to find her boyfriend asleep on the over stuffed leather chair in the corner of the bed room.

"Nara Shikamaru, you wake up right now, or so help me Kami-sama!" She hollered, and the brunet man's eyes drifted open. He smiled genially. "Yes Ino-chan?" She huffed and pulled the towel around her tighter, before flouncing off to the closet to gather up clothing for him to 'yes' or 'no', whether he liked it or not.

Four dresses, six shirt and skirt/pant sets later, Ino walked out of the closet with a little blue dress embroidered in silver held to her chest. "And this one?"

Shikamaru sighed. He, in all honesty, really didn't want to go where every they where supposed to go tonight. Forget the fact that he couldn't remember where they where going, he just didn't want to go. "You want to know what I think you should wear?" He asked, after exhaling through his nose in exasperation. She nodded enthusiastically, a smile on her face. He stood slowly, walked leisurely to her, and took the dress from her delicate hands. After resting it gently atop the pile on the bed, he pulled her in all her towel clad glory to the leather recliner, sat down, and placed her next to him.

"I think you should wear that. The towel. And we just won't go." He murmured into her hair. She curled against him, with her knees drawn up next to his left thigh and her head on his chest, and sighed. "Your right. You always are."

He snorted, rolling his eyes, while resting his cheek on the top of her head and stroking her hair.

"No, I'm not. That's why I have you to correct me."

In the end, they didn't go where ever they where supposed to go – not that either could remember, and neither cared – and Ino figured that the best outfit was one chosen by your boyfriend, because he knew what fit you best.