I do not own any characters from Law and Order. But the idea for the story is mine!!
Unspoken
"You're free, now." Declan whispered maniacally, "Bobby, you're free."
A quiet filled the cold room as Goren let Declan's words soak into his numbed mind. The drone of the lights above their heads was the only sound breaking the eerie quiet. Goren looked at his former mentor, trying to grasp why Declan thought that this was such a blessing.
Declan slowly sat back in his chair, a cracked grin on his face. He reached over and patted Goren's hand before folding it back across his frail chest. Goren sat, unmoving, unknowing what to say or do next.
And then, before he could even respond, there was a soft rapping on the mirror. How long had they been sitting in this cold, charged room? Boiling in a soup of unspoken words, mania, hurt, and anger rising all around them. Declan looked over his shoulder at the intrusion in annoyance, and merely waved his hand at it.
"Declan Gage, please come with me."
Goren looked up to see Captain Ross noisily placing cuffs around Declan's frail wrists. Declan smiled down at him and whispered,
"Don't worry now, Bobby. Everything is going to be so much better."
In the ten or so seconds that it took Ross to push him out the door, Goren had millions of thoughts going through his head. But he found his throat had gone bone dry, and he couldn't seem to find any air to voice them.
With one final look over his shoulder, Declan smiled and winked, the door clicking shut behind him.
Eames watched each heart-wrenching exchange. Everything Bobby had discovered this year was now coming to a dangerous climax. She had readied herself to attempt to try to pull Bobby off of his former mentor, but watched his cool restraint as Declan continued his descent into madness.
And then, as quickly as it had started, it was over. Captain Ross led Declan away, a look crossing Bobby's face that could not be explained. Eames leaned against the glass, a sigh escaping her lips. What was he going to do now?
Bobby only stared at the closed door, utterly alone in the room. And in one fluid motion, he rested his elbows on the table, and laid his head in his hands. Eames pushed herself away from the mirror, and crept out of the observation area, determined to try to help him pick up the pieces.
Goren heard the door quietly open and click shut. He knew who it was without even looking. It was the only person who would try to comfort the unbreakable detective.
He felt the pressure of a warm, small hand press against his shoulder. A sob caught in his throat, and the hand squeezed tighter against him, trying to roll with his tide of emotions.
"Bobby, I-" she began.
"Don't, Eames." He mumbled into his hands, "Just don't."
A chair squealed noisily against the floor as she brought it around the table. As she sat down, he heard her sigh in exasperation.
"But-"
"I said don't!" he exclaimed as he brought his hands down thunderously against the table.
She jumped back as he anger rolled off of him like an avalanche. She blinked at him, her eyes wide and mouth open. He looked away from her, embarrassed by his outburst.
"There's nothing that you can say." He said quietly as he looked at the table.
"Don't you think that I know that?" she replied.
"Then what is it that you want?" he asked as he met her gaze.
Eames looked down at her hands, curled into fists on the table, "It's just … I wanted you to know that you are not alone."
He scoffed quietly as he looked at her hands as well, "You have never been so wrong, Eames."
Her head snapped up, her eyes narrowing, "I'm sorry that you think so."
"How can you say that after all that I've put you through? All the craziness that you've seen and been through with me ought to make you want to run screaming out of the building."
Her eyes softened as she searched his broad face. She reached over to cover his cool hand on the table with one of her own. He turned to look at her as she began.
"Bobby, I've been through plenty before you came along. Working vice, changing partners, Joe…"
Her voice cracked as she mentioned her late husbands' name. Her eyes began to fill with unshed tears.
"But I don't regret working with you, even if you think that I do. Or that I couldn't possibly know what you're going through."
"How could you, Eames?"
She sighed and shook a loose piece of hair out of her face, trying to keep her tears at bay, "When Joe died, I was utterly and totally alone. By choice. I didn't need anyone to help me wallow away in my own misery."
She took in a shaky breath and locked his gaze, "But I was wrong. I didn't realize it until I started coming to work here everyday and being around other people. Being around you."
He studied her face, watching as a tear trickled down her face. He smiled slightly as he placed his free hand over hers, the warmth of her hand slowly crept into his.
"I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you." She finished unsteadily as she squeezed his hand.
He looked down at their piled hands, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. He nodded and squeezed her hand back in response.
"I… well…" he began as he looked over at her, her eyes still glistening from her tears.
He removed his hand from the warmth of her touch and moved it, with a little uncertainty, closer to her face. He cupped her smooth cheek into the palm of his hand and removed her tears with his thumb.
"Thank you, Eames."
She covered his hand against her cheek and smiled. Goren dropped his hands and heard her chuckle.
"You know, Bobby. We've been partners for over eight years. I think you can call me Alex now."
Goren nodded, "Alex … Thank you, Alex."
After a small silence, Eames cleared her throat and leaned into the table, "So now what?"
Goren shrugged and slumped back into his chair, "I'm not sure. We'll have to find where Declan … "
An agonized look crossed Goren's face as the thought of finding Nicole Wallace's' body ran through his mind. Eames watched him anxiously, trying to understand what was going through his mind. Finally, she patted his arm, trying to sooth his raging thoughts.
"Don't make this any harder than it has to be. Let's not think about that for a while."
"I can't help it," he whispered, "I keep asking myself how long had Dec been planning this? When did he decide to set this in motion? Why did he have to include Frank? Where did he put Nicole? How did he-"
"Stop it, Bobby." Eames said, squeezing his arm, "You can't explain crazy."
"I understand that, Alex. But it doesn't mean that it makes it any easier."
She nodded quietly as she recalled the same questions that she had asked herself when Joe had become a victim of a random act of violence.
"I know. But you can either drive yourself crazy with unanswerable questions, or move on."
Goren nodded, looking at their reflection in the glass. He folded his arms on the table, and buried his head in them. The chair beside of him squealed as she rose.
"Come on, Bobby. Let's get some coffee or something. Get out of here and get some air."
Eames patted him on the shoulder, waiting for him to look up and acknowledge her. He turned his head to look at her, sniffling as he did so. Finally, a ghost of a smile crossed his lips, and he nodded.
"Alright. Just give me a minute, and I'll meet you at your desk."
She stared down at him, concern written all over her face. Goren grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"It's okay. I just need a minute." He reassured her as she continued looking at him.
Finally, she nodded and pushed the chair back to its original spot. She began to walk out the door, when she turned back to look at him. Goren was still watching her with sorrowful eyes. Eames opened her mouth to say something, but snapped it shut and only smiled at him. Goren knew that she knew what was going to happen as soon as the door clicked shut behind her.
Sure enough, with the click of the door, Goren finally allowed for his pent-up sorrow to show it's ugly head. He buried his face in his arms, allowing his tears to free themselves and drip endlessly onto his sleeve. His sobs heaved through his chest, choking off any air he had hoped to use to calm himself. At first, he felt ashamed of his outburst, but now he didn't care. He wanted to get rid of the pressure that had formed around his heart… He wanted to rid himself of all of the hurt.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he felt the tears begin to stop, and that his lungs were slowly filling with air and not gut-wrenching cries. He shut his eyes, and pulled himself up, resting his head in his hands. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to remove any evidence that he had completely fallen apart in this quiet room.
He stood and walked over to the mirror, studying his appearance. And then, a smile crept over his face, as he rolled his eyes at his reflection.
"Alright, Eames… I told you that I'd meet you at your desk."
He looked out the window of the interrogation room door, and saw her walk past the room quickly. She had been watching him from the observation room, making sure that he was okay. He shook his head, and then followed her out the door and over to her desk. As he looked at her, her face pink from being caught, he chuckled and shrugged at her.
"How did you know that I was there?"
"I guess I know you too well." he replied quietly as he placed his black folio on his desk.
She only laughed back in response, grabbing her coat as they walked towards the elevators, trying to find one moment of peace before their worlds came crashing down again.
Fine
