For the first five days since Spock returned to the ship after four days away Kirk had put the Vulcan's mood down to having to deal with certain senior officers at Starbase Nine they both thought had not been off base for far too long.

The bridge was no longer as relaxed as it usually was, there was no decrease in anybody's usual high standard of proficiency, there was just fewer relaxed conversations, and Spock had used their rank and surname and not just their surnames as was his usual. Kirk also was aware that in that time not once had they had a casual off the bridge conversation nor had Spock called him Jim.

Toward the end of his shift on that sixth day Spock was still in the full Vulcan mode and it was starting to annoy not just him but was starting to grate on the others. Just before the end of his shift Kirk had ordered him to get checked by McCoy and for a moment, Kirk was sure he had seen a flicker of panic before a look of anger mixed with annoyance flashed across the alien face. That flicker was all he needed to know that the Spock he knew so well was there but that something had to be effecting him to have him revert so far back into that Vulcan shell.

There had been just a quick flicker of the protest that Spock normally gave. There had only been that flicker when Spock had first looked at him, "As you order, Captain Kirk, I shall report to Doctor McCoy and then go to my quarters. I shall report to you when I an next on duty." Total Vulcan. No emotion. No reaction. Just fact and duty. Damn, he had had a glimpse of his Spock. McCoy would see it too, he would be able to tell him what the problem was and what to do.

McCoy had been ready for Spock to arrive but was not fully ready for the being that arrived appearing to be Spock. Not the Spock that had finally come out from behind years of Vulcan conditioning, the Spock who would allow his Human aspects peek out on the rare occasion, the Spock who was way less formal than what was before him had been since returning from those two days on Starbase Nine. He had walked in and stopped before him, "Captain Kirk has ordered me to report to you, Doctor McCoy, for a thorough medical examination to determine if there has been or is anything that is out of the normal range for my physical as well and mental readings. It would be appreciated if this unnecessary exercise took no longer than necessary."

There had been something in the way Spock had acted and spoken that let McCoy know it was best not to chit-chat but to be quiet and give him a thorough exam. The full barrage of tests and examinations took less than twenty-five minutes and they were what McCoy considered the longest twenty-five minutes he had ever spent with Spock. It was like being with a robotic stranger and McCoy was pleased and relaxed when Spock left.

McCoy had called Kirk down to Sickbay after Spock had left. Before he handed over he looked at the others and saw the concern on all their faces. They had all seen and heard how much Spock had changed since his return from those two days away. He could tell from how they looked at him as he stood that they also realized that there was something seriously wrong with their friend. All he could do was give an acknowledging nod as he left. Silently he was hoping that McCoy had found something, anything, that could explain why Spock was reverting to his Vulcan heritage.

As soon as he walked into Sickbay McCoy handed him a glass, "You'll need that as, before you ask, Jim, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, physically nor mentally wrong with that walking computer. All his readings are within the normal for him. Now I do not know what it is nor did I want to ask him any more than I did in the state he is in but there is something bothering him that is clearly personal and something he is having difficulty putting into one of those neat little classifications in his mind. Not once did he call me just McCoy or even Doctor. Blasted Vulcan was back to being so damned formal and called me Doctor McCoy in that official tone he has. His answers were just affirmative or negative. There is nothing I can do for him, Jim. I admit that I do not like how he is going back to behind that Vulcan wall we have all helped him knock down as far as we have but there is no way to stop it without knowing what is causing him to withdraw as he is. I do know that whatever happened down there was the trigger. Maybe you should see what you can find out from those down there who he saw. Maybe he talked with somebody that triggered the change."

Kirk down the drink and looked at his friend, saw the concern in the blue eyes, "I have, Bones. Apart from delivering what he had to for me and a few things to the Science Center I was told that the rest of the time there was his private time and that was it. I know something happened down there and I have a feeling that they know but as they said it was his private time." He looked at the empty glass that he slowly put on the table and shook his head, "Bones, he just is not talking, he seems to be reverting to that Vulcan I first met, that Vulcan so many see. All strictly as per regulations. Now and then I swear I can see pain in his eyes, I can see him almost physically struggling to maintain that Vulcan control. He will go to say something and suddenly stop himself. It is, I know this sounds absurd, as though he is afraid to show himself as him any longer."

"And what about that old trunk that was beamed up just after he beamed up? Now I do not know about you, Jim, but the way he just looked at it scared the hell out of me. It was like he was seeing something that tore at those emotions we know he has although he does not acknowledge nor admit to having them. He just told Scotty to have it put in his quarters. Looked at you and so damned Vulcanly said he would return as soon as possible." McCoy poured them both a second smaller drink. "Whatever it is it is nothing physical nor is there any mental reason for it when I look at all his readings. No matter what it is it has got him going back to behind that blasted wall of his. We, well especially you, better find out what it is and help him with it or we will end up with just the Vulcan part of our friend."

Kirk was reflecting over what McCoy had said and looked over his glass at him, "Are you trying to tell me, Bones, that you think it is something to do with the emotions he denies having?"

"Now I did not say that, Jim, but as close as I can come is that something happened down there, something to do with that old trunk. Although I have no real proof I am sure it brought back something he has not dealt with or, worse, something he refuses to deal with."

"He's never mentioned anything about a trunk and did you see it? Must be at least from the nineteen hundreds. I had read about them being on old sailing ships, used by wealthy passengers on Old Earth who were going on ocean voyages . Scotty said when he scanned it all of the readings indicated it was real Old Earth wood and metal from that period. There were no weapons or items indicated to be of concern in transporting nor being on the ship."

"Now that's all well and good, Jim but what does it have to do with our First Officer going all Vulcan on us as he has? Now I do not know how it is on the bridge but a lot of the crew I've talked with and my people are all on edge, not sure what he now expects from them. You do know that not many of them have ever really dealt with Vulcans, don't you?"

"And that is what he is being, isn't it? He is mentally shutting away that Human half on himself."

"That's why I say it has to do with that trunk and something he does not want to deal with. I say it but I cannot think of anything, anything at all, that Spock would not be able to deal with." McCoy sighed and looked at Kirk, seeing his Captain and friend was just as worried as he was about their Vulcan friend, "Oh sure, he would hesitate, pause, take time to analyze the minutest detail to whatever the puzzle or problem was to find the answer or solution, and be in his Vulcan mode for that but there is no way he would not be like that for this long. This has to be something else, something he cannot easily deal with on either a logical or emotional level. This is something tearing at his Human and his Vulcan halves at the same time. This is something he has not confronted before and it is to do with his blasted logic and those emotions he has but tries to deny."

"He'll be fine, I'll give him a few more hours, Bones, as he may just need a bit longer to work through it. Thanks for the talk and the drink."

As Kirk got to the door McCoy gave voice to what he knew Kirk would also be thinking, "What if he can not work through it, Jim? What if, in those extra hours you are going to give him, he gets totally lost in that conflict between those two halves of his? Or in one of them? Are you telling me you could still be the Captain you are with him not as he was, that this would still be the ship and crew it is without him as he always has been?"

All Kirk could do was nod as he muttered, "I hear you, Bones." He was not ready to admit that he did not what he was going to do or how he, let alone the ship, could go on if Spock stayed in that Vulcan mode. He was not going to allow himself to even think of Spock without that blend of Vulcan and Human, both the good and not so good aspects of both bloodlines.

He knew that Spock had gone to his own quarters, just had he had since his return. No chess games, no mixing with the crew, nothing but his duties as per regulations. That Vulcan part was strong yet he had also seen the slight smile on the bridge when Chekov and Sulu would have a friendly debate and the time McCoy had been on the bridge and complained about an ensign who needed treatment for burns on his hand as he had decided to touch a pipe that was clearly marked as a steam vent just to see if it were hot.

He briefly went to the bridge as he knew the others would be waiting to hear what he had been told. They were also all too aware of how different Spock was since his return. "McCoy said it is not medical. I'm going to give him a bit longer to work out whatever it is that,"

"A private message for you, Captain, from Vice-admiral Loxtion." Uhura looked at him. "I'll patch it through to your,"

"Thank you. It will not take me long to get there."

Loxtion, Loxtion. It took Kirk a moment to remember the man. Star Fleet's most experienced officer in investigations and personnel. What could he be, For a moment it seemed everything stopped. What had happened to Spock during those two days?

In his quarters to took a few deep breaths then went to his comm unit, "Kirk here, Sir."

"I will make this short, Kirk as you will be receiving your orders shortly. I just wanted to ensure that Commander Spock received a wooden trunk? He is usually most punctual about acknowledging such things."

"Yes. It was beamed aboard and taken to his quarters. He has not been himself lately."

"I was told he was slightly different after hearing about the death of Officer Bruce Cairn and being given the disc Cairn had made for him. The trunk was to be sent to the Commander upon Cairn's death. Such a waste as you know how the two of them were near equals, at the most only one point's difference, in almost every test their final year at the Academy on that special course. His death was a waste and yet his action saved the lives of over three hundred fellow officers. Although he was not a security officer from reports he was the one who took action first when another heavily armed officer was setting a relay explosive on a starship. According to reports, and the witnesses, it seemed to be almost an instinctive action on his part. It also seems he fought to hold on long enough to make that message to Commander Spock. I was informed Commander Spock had left just before the trunk was beamed to the Enterprise but then it might have been too painful a reminder of his friend. I just wanted to ensure he received it. Thank you for letting me know, Kirk. Loxtion out."

There was static for a moment before Kirk switched off the comm unit. Spock had never mentioned a Bruce Cairn. Near equals. For a moment he just sat and tried not to believe what he was thinking. Spock had often said how very few at the Academy associated with him, how there was only one fellow cadet who actually challenged him on a multitude of levels.

Slowly he reached out to the comm unit, "Commander Spock, this is Captain Kirk. I am coming to see you in your quarters."

"Captain Kirk, is there something amiss with the ship that cannot be adequately dealt with by?"

"Spock," Kirk deliberately cut him off to ensure he knew how serious he was, "I want to talk with you about a conversation I just had with Vice-admiral Loxtion about you not reporting the delivery of a chest and," he hesitated for a moment knowing that it may be something too private and personal for Spock to discuss, "about Bruce Cairn."

"He had no right to speak to you of that!" There was no mistaking the just barely controlled fury in Spock's voice.

"Spock,"

"Very well, come. I shall tell you only that which, by the dictates of Starfleet Command and Federation law, you must be told so that my next shift is not disrupted by constant questioning as to my state of being." There was the distinct metallic click as Spock cut communications but Kirk had heard the distinct conflict in his friend's voice. McCoy was right, there was something Spock did now wan to deal with.

When he entered Spock's quarters the first thing he realized was that the lighting was dimmed and it was slightly warmer than it usually was. It seemed almost alien. So Vulcan. It was not the quarters that he was used to which had reflected its occupant's dual heritage. He had been noticing the changes so much he did not notice Spock till he turned as a voice came from the sleeping alcove and Spock walked out.

Kirk was sure for a moment he had seen the flicker of two emotions before that cold Vulcan expression possessed his friend's face, "Captain Kirk, what exactly did Vice-admiral Bruan Loxtion tell you about Bruce Cairn?"

"He told me that he had been told you seemed to be different after learning of the death of Bruce Cairn, that you two had been near equals, that his death saved over three hundred fellow officers through an instinctive action, and that he fought to stay alive long enough to dictate a message to you."

It was plain from how Spock's posture changed that he was annoyed by what had been discussed, "He had not right to tell you that."

"He only contacted me as you had not notified him of the safe arrival of that old trunk that apparently was from Bruce Cairn to you."

"He still had no right,"

"He had every right to ensure it arrived and he was obviously concerned about you as,"

"There is no reason for his concern."

"Does that hold true for the crew of this ship, Commander? We are all concerned about,"

"I am a Vulcan, Captain Kirk, and I cannot afford to care about the emotional needs and reactions of humans."

"And why is that, Spock? Is that because those human emotions and reactions are what got Bruce Cairn killed?"

"YOUWILLNOTSPEAKOFHIMLIKETHAT!" For a moment Kirk wondered it he had pushed just a bit too far as Spock took two step closer to him and Kirk saw how his fingers were flexing indicating it was all his friend could do not to attack him physically.

In that moment of silence Kirk saw the plea, the anger, the confusion, and the deep pain in his friend and realized just how much pain his friend was in as clearly his Human and Vulcan factors were in conflict. Using the technique Spock had taught him so long ago Kirk calmed himself and softly said, "WHAT, Spock? Tell me. PLEASE tell me what it is. Please let me help."

Spock turned and took four steps before he stopped, seemed to be fighting with an internal demon as he turned and looked back at Kirk. Yes, Kirk realized that was it, whatever was troubling him had his two halves in great conflict.

"Cap," Spock started then stopped, closed his eyes and shook his head before opening his eyes, taking two steps closer to Kirk, "Jim, I am torn. Can you, of all beings, not see I am being torn apart and must act to save myself and the only way I know is to allow my Vulcan heritage and ways protect me."

"Protect you, protect you from what?"

"I knew Bruce Cairn for one hundred and thirty-two days, for one hundred and thirty of them we were together and I found him to be my mental and physical equal yet he had such love for life and living, a love for it that was equal to, if not more than, your own, and often, like you, allowed his emotions and what he called a gut-feeling to govern his actions. He remained in contact with me, sending me a vast array of interesting findings, although I have only sent him two messages since we parted. Oddly he seemed to have accept that from me as he often mentioned that he was pleased to see I was still occupied with learning more and more. It is likely that, had we had more time together, what was between us would have been as it has been between you and I. What was, what is."

Spock was quiet and, only having known him for as long as he had, Kirk saw a deep emotional pain that was at the core of his friend's withdrawal. His distress was also clear in how he had bowed his head as he said "between you and I." and how he had stopped so suddenly as though caught in the past using was and is.

"What, Spock?"

Spock held his head bent and his eyes closed, "My, my parents told me many years ago that it would happen yet I had been certain it would not. They were right and I must now do what I must to not allow it to happen again. I must take action to protect myself."

"What must you protect yourself against?"

"Feeling this pain, these emotions, again. I recall how, upon being told the date of his death, that on the same date I had had a momentary sensation that had briefly unsettled me as it was as though I had heard my name called in a familiar voice and the word heard the word "peace" then a silence in a part of my mind to do with learning. I now know that was him saying farewell. I also know that this unpleasant feeling that I have had since hearing of his death will only be much worse when those Humans I allow myself to become close to die as there will be more of an emotionally based feeling than there was with him."

There was a moment's silence before Spock looked at him, "Captain, Jim, please try to understand that I find it difficult to even contemplate what, what it will be like then. Please understand that I believe if I distance myself, protect myself more now by employing the Vulcan ways, when those times comes I will not be so affected and, should I die before them, it will be easier on others as it is easier to accept the death of a stranger than the death of a," Spock lowered his voice as he bowed his head and said, "a friend."

Unsure exactly what to do Kirk looked around and saw what he felt sure was the disc that Loxtion had mentioned that Cairn had made for Spock. Although he paused for a moment in indecision he knew it would either get Spock to think more rationally or, or push him deeper into that Human-Vulcan conflict. "Have you listened to his last message to you?"

There was a slight change in Spock's posture for a moment as Kirk watched him, noting how his friend seemed to be pulling himself together, as though he was at peace with some decision. Vulcan or Human? Or that wonderful blend that Spock had been for all the time he had known and thought of him as his other half, his better half.

Very slowly Spock went to stand by where the disc lay on his desk then looked at Kirk, and Kirk saw less of what had been on the ship the last four days and more of his friend looking back at him. "I, I have been uncertain if it would be wise for me to listen to it."

"Why? Surely you would want to know what he had to say."

"While I am interested to hear what he said I find I have a certain amount of," just for three seconds, while he not only regained control of his Human emotions that he was in such great conflict with but also found the appropriate word for what he was feeling, "great uncertainty as to how I will be after I hear not only what he has to say but also his voice."

The inner turmoil his friend was in was becoming more evident and it was all Kirk could do not to react as he had known Spock for long enough to know how such an action would only worsen the torment he was in. "If you like I will leave and you can,"

"No!" Spock looked at him looking shocked, "I, I am sorry, Jim, I did not mean to react in such a manner. I welcome your presence. In so many ways I seem only now to be realizing you have many of his qualities and more of your own that are greatly appreciated. I must tell you I am most uncertain as to how I will react."

Carefully Kirk picked up the disc and handed it to Spock, "Only one way to find out that I know of."

There was no mistaking the trepidation in the way Spock took the disc and put it in the playback slot, hesitated a moment, then pressed the play switch and stood back.

"Hey, Spock, they tell me I've a few minutes left and, and I wanted you to know, know how unbelievably wonderful and wonder-filled you, you made my life. Only hope you've learned to, to embrace life without analyzing it to death. I, I wanted to also thank you for the memories. So many great memories. You, you know you were right about us that final day. You know they, they were furious when you were one thousand and one, one thousand and two, ahead of me, me in answering. In the trunk are bits I did not, not get sent and bits you can share. Beth has her one." there was a long pause with strained breathing the only sound and Kirk saw how Spock had lowered his head and had his eyes closed, "Glad, glad you've got some, some good friends now. Kirk, Kirk's good with and for you. You, you two are, are and will be good together. You, you've done, Spock, my friend, you've done good. May. May you always. Always know happiness, con, contentment, and, and peace. Thanks Spock, my friend." There was more strained breathing then a silence before a voice said, "He's gone. Time of death,"

Spock swatted aggressively at the unit on the desk as though attempting to kill it instead of just turn it of, then tenderly picked up and held the disc as he then stood with his head bowed and Kirk saw his slightly shaking, saw tears trying not to fall. Only for a moment did he hesitate before taking the three steps to his friend and pull him into a reassuring embrace. He had thought that Spock might have rejected the contact but instead Spock's two strong arms encircled him and held him as though trying to stabilize himself, as though fighting to maintain some sort of control, and Kirk heard his friend softly saying "I knew, I knew, I knew it."

Gradually Kirk felt Spock relax and stand back from him and saw how he looked at him both ashamed and thankful, "Jim, I am most thankful for your support and understanding and yet regret you had to see me so, so,"

"Spock, you just suffered the loss of a close friend, I am honored you let me help you at such a time. You are not forgetting how many times you have helped me when I was so shattered, when you were there to help me, are you? If it is not too personal you kept saying you knew something but what was it?"

Spock looked from him to the disc he held in his hand, "I did not think of us as close then and after the testing I did not see him again and hardly thought of him as the years passed. I now find it unforgivable that I acted in that way as without him and what he did I would not be here, I would not have had that year of special advanced training."

"What do you mean? You had the highest scores in those final tests, you,"

"I only had those scores because Brian kept testing me, drilling me, questioning me under the most unusual conditions and times."

"But you,"

"Jim, you do not understand. He was my match, my equal in so many ways in so many areas, especially in him having a curiosity far more insatiable than my own. We both knew that those in higher places did not want a Vulcan, even a half-Vulcan, to get onto the advanced specialist program. They would assign us some very trying and testing assignments to work on and he willingly allowed me to test my many theories with him as the test subject and he was most thorough in his reports for me on what the test subject experienced. At the time it was enough for me to know that he also got his assignments in on time and we were almost always within a tenth of a point apart in our results. There was only one assignment he did not assist me on because he had been injured in the previous one I had his help with but he found another who was the test subject for me. He would give me jumbled data to correct while he asked me questions while I corrected the data. He was one of the first Humans I had met who did not see me as a threat or different but as an equal, the first one I felt I knew well, one I thought I could trust, one I thought I really knew how they would react to most things. Then at the final test, after all we had been through, he, he," Spock crossed his arms, closed his eyes, shook his head, and just stood in silence.

"He what, Spock? What did he do to you?"

With his head still bowed and his eyes closed Spock said, "It is not what he did to me rather what he did for me. He knew as well a I did that those five did not want me on that special training. As he and I had even scores at the end of the testing they decided they would have one final session and they set it so that it would be the first to answer one given question that required a five part detailed answer and we would be sitting face to face while being asked the question and when we answered. They asked a most complex question and for so long I have believed that he deliberately hesitated so that they had to take me."

Carefully Kirk placed a hand on Spock's arm, "You can't be sure he,"

"Jim, to make me aware of time passing when he would test me he would count one thousand and one, one thousand and two, one thousand and three and so on. Just as they asked the final part of the question I saw how he looked at me and I believed I had seen something there but had not believed it. Being selected for that training was too important to do what I thought I saw in his expression. For all these years I was not certain, it was just conjecture on my part."

"Didn't you ask him after the,"

"I was taken away before I could talk with him. I remember how he had smiled at me when the group of examiners all started to surround me as he headed for the door. It is only upon thinking of it now that I know what he did I realize it was a smile of satisfaction and to wish me, in a Human way, good luck."

"Like I said, Spock, you can not be sure, not now."

Now Spock smiled, "I AM SURE now, Jim. He confirmed my belief when he said in, that message, that I was one thousand and one, one thousand and two ahead of him in answering. I had, since that day, had a feeling, a knowing, that he knew the answer a second or two before I did. His saying that in the message let me know I had been right." The smile vanished, "I, I never thanked him for that and he never mentioned it in all of his communications to me over the years."

Kirk looked at where the trunk had been placed and then back at Spock, "Know why he sent you the trunk?"

Spock walked over to it, smiled as he moved four old bit of wood on one side to reveal an old key although the lock was easy to open without it. "He had a habit of adding odd things to it as well as leaving in it things from his past, from his family. Beth is his sister and he told me years ago that she had a chest from their mother's side and had all she wanted to pass on, that he had let her have what she wanted for the trunk he got as he could not see himself getting married and having offspring. It was full of antiques and what could be called curios."

"You can't be sure, Spock, it was a long time ago."

Spock nodded, "It was but I knew him, Jim, I knew him. He said once it was a link with the past that people should see, feel, and used to not forget how it was to appreciate how it is. He also used to say that it was good to reflect on the past and to occasionally to live as it was lived to really appreciate what we have now." Spock looked from Kirk to the chest as he remembered how, on fifteen occasions during some of their intense study times, Brian had cooked him an evening meal with unprocessed vegetation using an old earth recipe from a book in the trunk and how not only how colorful it was but also how flavorful it was. He looked at the trunk and heard that laughter, that baritone voice incorporating questions that could be asked with his conversations, the way Brian used to play with words to make the questions more complex.

As he looked back at Kirk he was suddenly struck by an unsettling thought, Brian had been right when he said "Kirk, Kirk's good with and for you. You, you two are, are and will be good together." and saw how alike yet so very different Brian and Jim were. Brian had also been right about him having some good friends, friends he had not been treating as they should be treated.

"Jim, I must apologize how I have behaved,"

Spock stopped when Kirk held up a hand, "Knowing now what you had with Brian Cairn, what he did for you and, as a result, for me, your actions were fully understandable. No need to apologize."

"I thank you. Do you think that Mister Scott, Uhura, Sulu, McCoy, and Chekov would mind being present when I open the trunk?"

"I'll go and invite them. You going to be okay?"

"I will be, thank you Jim. I will also arrange for some refreshments to be brought here."

When Kirk walked onto the bridge he was pleased to see Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov there and, before he said anything to them he got on the comm and asked McCoy to come to the bridge. Once they were all present he looked at them, "I've just been with Spock and he would like all of us to go to his quarters for a few minutes. While on Starbase Nine he was informed of the death of a friend he had years ago and his reaction to the pain of the loss was to go Vulcan on us. As Scotty and McCoy know he was sent an old trunk that he would like all of us there when he opens it."

As he looked Kirk saw the almost chain-reaction in looks being exchanged and the nods, and McCoy said, "Just wait till we get our reliefs here, Jim, and we will be there. I've got something we'll all need."

When all of the senior crew where there Spock looked at them one at a time and then said, "I must apologize for my behavior these last few days since my return from Starbase Nine. I had no right to subject you all to my, my."

"Now just you stop right there, Spock," McCoy looked at him, "Jim told us you had some bad news and we've all had somebody close to us die. We have our good old Human emotions that we have always been allowed to show or express in many ways to help us cope with the loss. You have those same Human emotions but you were raised the Vulcan way not to show them. It is just," McCoy smiled at his friend, "logical that you would have horrendous conflict in you and for same asinine reason you did not think could express those emotions with us. Hell, we would have and do understand how hard it is for you, we would have known the reason for why you were acting so Vulcan."

Spock looked at the five of them and they all nodded, only Scotty kept looking at him and said, "Aye, McCoy tis right. This may nae be a family by blood but laddie, this is your, our family and family is always there for one another in all ways."

"I, I wish to thank you all for your support and understanding. I am also pleased you are here with me while I open a trunk left to me by my friend, Bruce Cairn. It is a trunk that had been in his family since the nineteenth century on Old Earth and he said there would be things I could share. He told me that his family had rather eclectic interests and that though mainly to do with music, history, self-sufficiency, and traditions they did collect odd things that had clearly interested them. I wish to share them with," he looked at McCoy, "my non-blood related family here."

He used the old key to open it and paused when he opened the lid as a frame dropped down revealing a note to him, a note in Brian's handwriting. No, not a note, a poem. Spock realized his reading and comprehension was far faster than a Human's he stood back and Jim read it aloud as he found himself needing to be a bit away from the others as Jim read it.

"Spock, we must control ourselves with logic while still unafraid to feel

We must dream and imagine things that simply cannot be

We must be awake and accept those things that we know just are real

We must live a life where both our mind and body are free

I have this one life so I will live it to the best and fullest that I can

Filled with learning, doing, helping others, and loving till the end

Unafraid to really feel and judging not by gender, color, creed nor clan

For I am not alone when I think of or see you, Spock, my dear friend.

Brian."

For a moment nobody moved and, as Spock slowly turned and looked at his Human friends, he saw they were, in their own way, feeling some of what he was although they had not known Brian. Jim looked over at him and, for the six point nine four seconds they looked at each other, he knew that Jim was feeling as he was, how that poem, those words, applied to what they shared. McCoy was the first to move and went to the part of Spock's desk where there were the glasses and two bottles he had brought with him, filled six small glasses from one bottle and one glass from the other, passed the glasses around, then looked at Spock as he raised his glass, "To Brian Cairn and friends who are family by choice and not blood."

Spock unhesitatingly raised his glass with the others and nodded at McCoy as he took a sip of the liquid and immediately recognized it as a rare Vulcan equivalent to the Human whisky but without the alcohol content. That McCoy would bring it for him reflected the emotions he knew his friend felt for him, that understanding of what sharing this action, this moment, with his closest friends meant even to his Vulcan side. As he set his glass down he moved the framed poem, took it into the sleeping alcove, placed it carefully beside his bed, said a silent thanks to his friend, and rejoined the others.


A/N VERY cold night. Garden far to damp and muddy to work in today so thought I would get this one started. Enjoy.