I think I always knew I didn't belong in Erudite. My first memory of not fitting in was when I was placed with foster parents at age four after my real parents had died under mysterious circumstances. The second experience happened when my first pair of glasses broke at eight, finding out that I could see just fine without them and made the mistake of asking why I needed another pair. My so called new family looked at me for a long moment as if I had suggested I burn the entire library down to the ground, then reprimanded me for saying such a thing about common culture in our faction. From that moment on, I knew I had to keep my thoughts to myself. I appeared to be a perfectly obedient child, taking whatever courses they told me to without any question or complaint. By my sixteenth birthday, I was studying under Liam Jackson, one of the best doctors in the hospital as his nursing assistant. I had made the mistake of getting comfortable in that good faction job, feeling like I might actually belong there after all and then the results for my latest examination came in, reading: Failed - only eligible for desk job if Emma Chase chooses to stay in the Erudite.
News of who failed the exam would spread quickly through gossip and everyone would know by dinner, so I didn't care if anyone saw my results, leaving them on my bed in plain sight. I left the living quarters out the back way so my guardians couldn't see how upset I was. The next thing I knew, I was running up the stairways to the rooftop exit, bursting out into the cool evening air and screaming at the top of my lungs with all the pain and rage I felt. I sat up there and thought about my inevitable Aptitude Test tomorrow. I had read all about the serum used and knew what choices to make based on the different scenarios, so I thought about the real me that I hadn't showed anyone except Liam for at least eight years and compared that with all the other factions.
I went back down the steps slowly once I had made my decision by process of elimination, my head held high. When I returned to the living quarters, I was surprised to see Liam sitting in the living room, still wearing his white medical coat over his blue scrubs. Always well groomed with his auburn hair brushed back from his face that made his green eyes all the more striking, he was considered one of the most desirable bachelors in Erudite that no one had snagged up until I came along. Many had tried flirting or seducing him and getting rejected, but I had never pursued him in such a manner and many had been surprised when he'd started dating me.
"There you are, Emma." My foster mother said in a suspiciously friendly tone. I had learned a long time ago that she only was nice when others from our faction were around and would be expecting something later from me for it. "You have company."
Liam set aside the empty coffee cup, standing up. "You have a moment, Miss Chase?" He asked very formally, as if disgusted I had failed, but his eyes said differently.
"Yes sir." I noticed everyone in my "family" was watching us and gestured for him to follow me into the other room.
He did so and I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. He kissed me to keep me from saying anything and I didn't mind at all. We rejoined them to eat and talked for a while after dinner on top of the building, discussing my choice to go to his old faction and what he suspected Jenine was going to do to make Dauntless a mindless army. He gave me one final kiss goodbye and then was gone. Maybe I'd see him again one day or maybe I wouldn't. All I knew is that I would have to leave no room for doubts or suspicions once in Dauntless, just like Erudite. I realized that he was right, for even now I didn't feel like I belonged to one faction only, but I still would have to hide behind a mask.
"So what did Doctor Jackson have to say?" My "mother" asked as soon as I'd walked back in the door.
I took a breath as if trying not to cry, but really I was withholding a laugh. "I don't want to talk about it." I went to my room and shut the door before she could get in another word, knowing she'd think I had been coldly dumped. I flopped on to my bed, wondering if I'd ever find anyone like him before drifting off to sleep.
