As you should know, I am Marshall Lee Abadeer. Please, call me Marshall, if you're comfortable with it. I've called you here today because of a terrible misunderstanding and all of Aaa is against me. If you don't mind reading all this much, I'd like to show you what Prince Gumball, a past, sex-addicted lover of mine has written about me. You see, he was always upset over the amount of time I spent with Fionna after we broke up. I always did come off as a lover of all. His stories about me being such a bad boy are all lies! One of them ended up on television. And he had you believing the lies and joining in with the flames about me. But thankfully, most of you have written how I became faithful and kind in the end, and I thank you for that. Now here is Bonnibeaux's latest story.

Tonight, I was going to finally tell Aaa's biggest bad boy that I love him. Of course, every other girl did. I am Fionna. The human, obviously. Sure I'm famous and all, but I'm not in it for fame. I'm in it to kill monsters and win the heart of Marshall Lee! I know he'll reject me though. Prince Gumball already has his heart. But I'll not give up!

Time Speeds By…

I did it! Only an hour ago, I told Marshall Lee that I love him and he said he loved me, too! He wanted to show me something tomorrow in the candy garden. I can't wait!

Time Speeds By Again…

"hello, Marshall!" I giggle. He's so hot and muscular. I just want to peel off his abs and wear them myself. But I won't ask him out loud. Not until after the third date. "What did you want to show me?"

"Let's go to a secret, quiet place where nobody can listen to our conversation or our… moans."

"I think I know what we're gonna do now," I whisper over my shoulder as he grabs my hand and leads me. Oh my globbing globowitz! We're gonna commit acts of lemons!

We arrive at the sound-proof area of the garden, completely surrounded by shrubs. He reaches down into a bush and pulls out a fancy box that's…

Dripping blood! Marshall opens it and I see something in there that I can't unsee.

"This is Princey's heart! I stole it from him, so he is mine. Now I want to have your heart to keep it forever. You can be my love puppet and the three of us can have oodles of Lemon Love, if you know what I mean." He sets down the box and wraps his arms around me tightly. "Now I will reach inside gently and pull out that precious little heart of yours."

I pushed him away hard, knocking him into a shrub. He got caught and was stuck.

"I can't get out! Ugh! Why can't I float out of here?!"

Now's my chance! I remove his shirt and peel off those delicious abs then set them down gently on the ground. I proceed to steal his heart. Holding it close along with his abs, I clutch his undead heart and race home. Planning to lock myself in the closet and never come out like the freak I am and always will be.

See? He writes stories like this all the time! He talks about Fionna stealing me from him and us being freaks and weirdos. They're all covered in lemon juice and come out of his sick, twisted mind. He is just a big wad of rotting gum. Before writing this one, he sent in a police report about me stealing Fionna from the Candy Kingdom and now the Banana Guards are chasing me! I've been hiding safely in an apple tree for days.

I recently found out from LSP that Fionna is tied up to a wall in the Candy Castle stark naked. I intend on turning myself in, escaping, rescuing Fionna and running off with her to Ooo. It is an alternate dimension that sounds great and much like home.

If you can, PLEASE spread the word and stop the rumors that I am not a bad boy!

Time Passes Quickly…

I am in the jail, about to pick the lock.

Got it! Now I have to become invisible and…

I could've done this before… I could have been invisible from the start! Maybe if I had thought of that before, Fionna and I would already have found Ooo and been safely far away from this hell that Prince Gumball has created! Pardon my language, but I am an idiot!

I end up following through with my plan, not wasting any time for Fionna's sake.

Moving swiftly through the castle, I soon find the room Fionna's in and find Prince Gumball standing at the window, singing soft kitty, warm kitty to Fionna's corpse that is hanging by the wrists from the ceiling. The sick, sick bastard. Time to be the bad boy he described me as. It's time.

I float backwards out into the hall and build up speed. With my arms extended fully, I push him out the window and look down to watch him splatter. I never meant for this to happen, but when he took a life from someone else, I had no choice.

Now to bury Fionna's body. The poor soul. I never really got the chance to say…

"I love you, Fionna." After I said that, I swear I saw her chest move as if she took in a breath.

Then her eyes flicker open. "Marshall?" I blink in surprise. "I love you too." Then a little blood spills from her mouth and her head tilts forward.

Later, I carry her into a deep, tear-filled chasm and lay her down forever.


And that's it. Sorry if it was sickening. Thought I'd try something different from the usual fluff and stuff I do. I think I did pretty well. So much for the happy ending