A/N: Hey!!! First things first, thank you so much for everybody that read Letters to Bath. I am not worthy!!! *Throws self at feet of writers everywhere*. Unfortunately no this isn't a sequel about Alice's daughter. : ( maybe someday. This instead is something much much weirder that I actually dreamt lol. So in this lovely arrangement of words known as a "story", the boys of Twilight are in fact… girls. And the girls are the boys. Also they aren't vampires… just humans in a boarding school. So here's your guide to the story…
Edward= Eden
Emmett= Emily
Jasper= Jasmine
Bella= Billy
Rosalie= Ryan
Alice= Alex
Chapter 1
"Girl inform me
all my senses warn me
your clever eyes could easily disguise
some backwards purpose
it's enough to make me nervous."
The Shins "Girl inform me"
(Ed POV)
Being in a boarding school was like being in a sort of prison. A prison full of high end snobby debutants and trust fund babies looking to kill each other's social standing at any point in their lives. I sat on the end of the bed in my empty dorm and looked around it for the hundredth time. I tugged at a strand of my long bronze hair before I stuck it in my mouth and chewed on it.
"Eden, honestly, that's disgusting" I spun around at the sound of the familiar southern twang and smiled up at Jasmine, a girl from Texas I had met on the plane ride out here. She yanked the strand of hair from my mouth and scowled. Jas had big springy blonde curls that were almost impossible for even a curling iron to achieve. She was tall for a girl, about 5'10'', and thin as a model. To be honest she could have been a model if it weren't for her goal to become a psychologist. "So have you met our other roommate yet?" Jas leaned against the wall, folding her arms across her white wife beater. She was rocking her daisy duke's and I noticed she was barefoot. I shook my head and pulled my own boring bone straight hair into a low ponytail behind me. "Her name's Emily, I just ran into her in the lobby. She's a real doll, got here on a softball scholarship." She inspected her hands quickly before I heard a knock on the door.
A tan girl with wavy black hair stuck her head through the doorway and smiled widely, her dimples spreading across her cheeks. "Holla girls! Is this where the party's at!?" she burst into the room wildly and I suppressed a laugh. I could tell she was the kind of girl who liked to be the center of attention. "So let's get to know each other" she clapped her hand together before holding it out to me. I shook it gently. "I'm Emily and I'm going to a sports therapist" she gleamed and I smiled at her infectious grin.
"Uh...Eden, and I'm working on becoming a composer." I replied softly, playing with the buttons on my sweater.
"Well, I'm Jasmine as you know and I'm going to be a psychologist." Jasmine flipped her springy hair wildly over her shoulder. "Call me Jas y'all" she added before she sauntered into the bathroom.
"Ugh, I would kill for an accent like that. Guys find that southern girl thing such a turn on!" Emily tossed her suitcase onto a bed next to mine. "Besides, I doubt I could get a guy being the athletic girl" she snorted, throwing some of her clothes carelessly onto the dresser.
I furrowed my eyebrows, "I don't know about that. I think that guys will find it attractive that you are passionate about something. Especially something they can get into like sports" I assured her, neatly folding my own clothes into my dresser. "And if some boy doesn't like you simply because you're good at sports, you probably don't want to be with that guy". Here I went, playing the parent again.
Emily smiled at me and kicked off her sneakers. "What about you, Eden? Got some cute musician boy you're vying after? I'm sure you got those indie guys lined up around the corner." She teased.
"Except indie boys that you so fondly speak of only care about thrift store shopping and tuning their acoustic guitars. I'm not really worried about a guy right now" I pulled on my brown pleather flats and stood from my bed. "Would you like to go explore the campus with me?" I offered and Emily nodded. Jas came bounding back into the room.
"Oh, let me come with!" she slipped on some flip flops and hooked her arm through mine. The three of us set off down the hallway and off to explore.
******************************
(B POV)
I stared at my brother incredulously. His black messy hair was carefully placed although the untrained eye could never tell and he let a few stray pieces fall into his eye. He unloaded his fifth suitcase and I was next to appalled. "You know Alex, girls don't even have this much clothes" I stated bluntly, hoping it would get the message across. Alex practically invented the word "metro". With the amount of time he spent making sure his hair was meticulously placed so that it looked just the right kind of chaotic and matching his band shirt to the boxers he was wearing, he probably only got to spend two hours in the public eye.
"You know what Billy, I don't want to look like crap all the freakin' time" he sniffed, his lanky figure disappearing into the closet and he went to work on organizing his clothes. I looked down at my own outfit. A Radiohead T-Shirt I had bummed off Alex last year and a pair of tattered old jeans. For once I felt a little self conscious. My own brown hair was just as messy looking as my brothers if not more, and not a single hair product touched it besides shampoo and water.
I looked over at the empty bed next to Alex's and glanced into the closet. "Hey, Alex? Where's Ryan at?" Our best friend Ryan was our third roommate.
"Oh, you know, got stopped by a group of rabid girls in the lobby" Alex narrowed his bright turquoise eyes and I nodded. If Ryan was involved that was believable. Ryan was the Homecoming and Prom King, Best Looking in the senior superlatives. Your typical tall blonde and handsome with the ego to go with it.
I laid back on my stiff bed and listened to the Porcupine Tree the pumped over the stereo Alex had set up. It was a good ten minutes before Alex emerged wearing a 3OH!3 shirt with faded acid wash jeans and a pair of grey converses. "So I was down at that stupid science center they have on campus and I was just wandering right, and I see this girl come from out of nowhere" I could tell Alex was diving into a story so I sat up and watched him begin to pace. "Now this chick is something else. Blonde hair down her back in these sexy curls and a pair of short shorts on. She's got legs up to here" Alex put his hand at his neck and I laughed. "Has this sexy little white wife beater on. So I was trying to say anything to her, and since I'm no Ryan I stop her and ask her how to get to the dorms" Alex rolled his eyes at his own pitiful attempts to flirt. I laughed at him again and shook my head. "Anyway, this girl just looks at me all sweet and goes 'oh, well, they're just past the check in desk on the right' with this great little southern twang. Funny thing about this girl though, she made me so relaxed. She was just so calm and confident." I raised an eyebrow.
Alex was always a crowd pleaser I was shocked to hear he held some kind of interest in a girl that was calm and quieter.
"Alright, well you're just going to have to find her and show her to me one of these days."I teased, knowing the possibility of finding that girl again were slim and crammed my feet into my Macbeth's.
"I was gonna head out to the lake, do you want to come?" I offered, spraying myself with some cheap cologne before I shoved my wallet into my back pocket. Alex nodded and shuffled out the door behind me.
A/N: Lol so clearly this is a ridiculous story but I'm having some fun writing this. Review please, let me know if this is to insane for life.
