Disclaimer: Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I don't own Degrassi .
Author's note: You know in 'Secret'
when Craig tells Ellie that he's bipolar after Ellie shows up pretending she
doesn't know how to string a guitar? Well, she says that Ashley "sent her over with this paper thin guitar
excuse" or something like that. So that's
where the inspiration came from.
Oh yeah, this is a CRELLIE. Yeah. And the italics are Ellie's thoughts.
Special thanks to Boblet—the awesomest beyond awesome Beta reader ever!
Paper Thin
Excuses. Our relationship is built on excuses. Neither one of us wants to admit that we want each other. So we make excuses. All those damn excuses.
"Ellie, are you ready?"
His voice broke Ellie's thoughts and she found herself standing in the foyer of Craig's house yet again. Just what they needed; another study session.
Ellie shifted her messenger bag and followed Craig back outside and into the garage. Craig threw his books down on the couch before taking a seat. Ellie cleared her throat before taking a seat on the ground. She rested her head back on the arm of the couch.
"There's room on the couch, Elle," Craig offered.
"I'll be fine here," she insisted.
I don't quite remember when it started. Maybe when Ash asked me to go over to Craig's house because of her fear of rejection. And then I had to act like I don't know how to restring a guitar. Of course I know how to string a fucking guitar. But it worked, I guess. And that was the beginning.
Their studying tactics were at different ends of the spectrum; Craig lazily flipped through the pages of his history book, not caring about important details. Ellie took more time to read what was actually on the page before jotting down a small note in her binder. Craig sighed, obviously bored with what he wasn't reading.
"Hey, I wasn't the one who asked to study," Ellie said with more bitterness than she meant.
Craig didn't seem to notice. He tossed his book to the floor before reaching over to grab his guitar. Craig's idle strumming felt comforting when it broke through the silence.
Ellie threw her book on top of her bag. "This is so boring."
"Wow, Ellie Nash, I'm surprised. You're usually the one who tries to convince me that studying isn't boring," Craig teased.
As Ellie forced Craig to scoot over, she laughed sarcastically. "Well, I changed my mind."
Then it moved on to drumming lessons. I admit, I'm not the greatest drummer ever. In fact, I kind of suck. But Craig helped me. Jeez, can you believe the bullshit that is pouring out of my mouth? I never got any better after the countless drumming lessons. But having Craig sit behind me, pull his legs around mine, and guide my hands with his own made me forget about my crappy drumming skills. All I could think about was Craig. I finally had his undivided attention.
Neither one seemed to mind the idea of procrastinating. Craig continued to play a tune on his guitar while he and Ellie talked.
"That's a nice melody," Ellie commented.
"Thanks."
"Is it something you've had on your mind or are you just strumming?"
"Just strumming."
Craig seemed to be a man of few words at the moment. Ellie sighed and fidgeted with the bottoms of her sleeves.
Then came the studying. It was so easy to call up Marco and ask Jimmy and ask them to study with him, but he chose me. He could've even called his bimbo girlfriend. But no, he asked me. So we'd study...for a while. Then we'd get bored. So we talked. About almost everything from cars to jelly beans to what we had for lunch yesterday to school to clouds to just about anything. It was great. It was all just a giant excuse to spend time with each other.
"I can't wait for the end of high school," Ellie muttered, searching for a conversation starter.
"Oh, but I thought you loved school," Craig joked again.
"Ha-ha. Shut up."
"You shut up."
"I wasn't the one talking."
"But you were the one talking about school."
"You're a loser."
"You're a bigger one."
"No one can be more of a loser than you."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, that better hurt."
Craig made a sound in between a laugh and a snort. Ellie stared at him for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter. Craig laughed so hard he fell off the couch, dragging Ellie to the floor with him. Ellie lay partially on Craig's side, laughing even harder from Craig's shaking chest bumping into her own. When their giggling and laughing settled, they realized the position they were in and immediately distanced themselves from one another.
Ellie
picked up her book and pretended to be interested again, while Craig
took his seat on the couch again. He picked up his guitar and
began to strum again. Ellie sighed inaudibly. Inside, her
emotions were tangled into knots and her heart raced wildly.
Well,
now I'm fed up. I'm sick of excuses. I want a
relationship built on trust and honesty. I know that sounds
corny, but I don't want to keep going with the excuses. It's
too much to deal with. If we want each other this badly, we
should just tell each other and stop trying to find ways around
telling the truth.
Slamming her book down on the ground, Ellie quickly turned to face Craig. She sat next to him on the couch.
"I'm sick of this," she said with frustration.
Craig gazed at her, wide-eyed and confused. "Sick of what?"
"This whole game we're playing."
"What are you talking about?"
"We're always studying or having private drumming lessons. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all of it. I'm putting an end to it."
"Ellie, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Those were all just excuses. Everything always was."
"Slow down and tell me what the hell is going on!"
"You want to know what is going on?" Ellie asked more to herself than to Craig.
"Yeah, that would be nice," Craig said carefully.
Ellie thought for a second. Her breaths were quick and short as she contemplated what was really going on her head.
"Enough with the paper thin excuses, Manning! Do you love me or not?"
And then her lips were on his. It was so sudden, even Ellie felt surprised she had done it. But there was no taking it back now. She clumsily removed Craig's guitar from his grasp and sat on his lap. Craig put his hands on her hips as he finally came out of his shock and returned the kiss.
Craig reluctantly pulled his lips away from hers.
"Does that answer your question?" he asked breathlessly.
Ellie nodded before kissing him again. Craig's hands explored her figure as her own hands traveled up the back of his shirt. Everything seemed to freeze in that moment. And for the first time in a long time, Ellie felt perfectly honest with Craig.
I'm finally through with the excuses. All those paper thin excuses.
