A/n- So, this is just a creative writing assignment for my English class. Thought I'd share it with you

Disclaimer: Don't own Catcher in the Rye, and although sometimes I want to run a sharp pike through Holden's head, I think he's sexy too.

Summary: Holden get's a job reading the school announcements over the loudspeaker.


Good Morning...


So there I was, you know, sitting right in front of that goddamned speaker phone, just waiting for my goddamned cue and all that.
It was my first time; reading all that announcement shit. I was pretty excited about it if you must know. I don't ever really get exited about all that phony shit, but there I was, all goddamn happy about it.

One time, D.B came home from school- he was so happy. One of those teachers he had, they said he should be on his school's student council, one of those fancy jobs were everyone treated you nice just because they thought they could get something out of ya.

Makes me depressed just thinken about it. I mean, who in their right goddamned mind would do that? Just to have all those phony ass kids love'n up to you just so they could get in some school newspaper or some shit like that.

Not me, no way. I wouldn't have given into that kind of crap. But you know D.B- biggest whore there ever is when it comes to the public regard. Biggest damn whore ever. Such a sellout.

Allie never sold out, no way. Thank God he never has to deal with all these phonies.

"Holden?" It was one of those office ladies.

I pulled around my hunting hat so that the back stuck up the way I liked it. "Hey," I said, all smooth shit like.

"You'll be on in a few seconds."

"Yeah, yeah."

D.B- yep, biggest sellout. And look at me; God I swear, it makes me so depressed thinken about how I caved into this crumby job. I had such a nagging feeling to pull out my cigarettes and light up right there in the office, I swear to God.

"Okay, in three, two, one-"

I kind of sat there, watching the little red light start to blink on the receiver I was holding.

"Holden!" Someone whispered. "Speak!"

"Uh-"I kind of said like some jackass. The paper was right in front of me, the script, but I couldn't get myself to say it. It was depressing just looking at the goddamn thing; like a script to life.

I'm so chicken, I swear to God. The only think I could keep thinken of was how I was going to say something wrong and screw up the whole damn show. I mean, I'd do it and all, but wouldn't it be too disturbing all those damn people listen to my voice boomen' out across the campus like Jesus or something?

Jesus wouldn't a done this shit, no way. He would have picked up his stuff, kicked his Disciples to the curb, and gone down to the local for a big tall glass of Gin. That's what Jesus would a done; not sit here like some jackass phony with all the world to hear his holy-ass voice.

"Holden!"

I kind of came to my senses then, because, I still had to say something.

"Good morning, ya' lot of phonies… sure a great day to be here, I'll tell you what." Now this was the point when I started to feel a goddamned since of empowerment. I didn't enjoy it, but hell; someone had to tell these phony asses what was going on in their lives. "You know, it makes me so goddamned depressed to see you lot of crumbly students every day of my goddamned life. I swear to God, you're all a bunch of sellouts. You and your expensive shit cars and expensive shit cloths. One of these days-"

At that moment the receiver was ripped out of my hands by the office lady. She flipped off the button and the phone went silent.

"Mr. Caulfield, what was that?"

"The truth," I crowed, feeling so goddamned proud of myself.

"The truth, huh? You're in big trouble young man."

I considered it for a moment, sitte'n back in that damn comfortable chair.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" She demanded. At this point I did pull out my smokes, I really needed one. Her eyes just kind of went wide; it was hilarious. "Well?"

"You know I'm not even suppose to be here? I twenty-five for Christ sakes."

"Principle's Office. Now."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I stood up. I swear to god, this place makes me so goddamned depressed. "Hey," I started. "You know, I'm free Friday night…"


fin