"Hola, Total Drama fans! Chris McLean here, ready to drop another season of the hottest show ever! Seventeen of your favorite Total Drama competitors are coming back for what they think will be another season of me, the host with the most, Chef's cooking, and some insane challenges with a million dollar prize at the end. We told them that they will be spending the duration of the season on this old cruise ship, which we have dubbed the S.S. Chris, but to keep things fresh we'll be introducing some new rules this season. To find out what those rules are you'll just have to stay tuned and watch. For now let's give a warm welcome back to our contestants! Owen, Duncan, Beth, Lindsay, Gwen, Leshawna, DJ, Geoff and Bridgette, surprisingly Heather, Courtney, Tyler, Izzy, Cody, Sierra, Harold, and Noah!"
Confessional Cabin: Heather
"I still can't believe that when I finally win a season, that damned home schooled monster turns up and knocks my hard earned money into the volcano. I am going to win this thing, and with that sucker Alejandro gone it should be a snap."
Confessional Cabin: Leshawna
"I don't know why I keep coming back to this show… Oh right, the money."
Confessional Cabin: Owen
"Awesome! New season! Yahoo! I'm going to win this thing, and throw the big party I promised back in season one!"
Confessional Cabin: Gwen
"At first I wasn't going to come back, but then I thought about all the things I had done in the last seasons. First I dump Trent on TV and convince his team to vote him off, and then I make out with Duncan, who at the time was Courtney's boyfriend. To me this is a chance to make up for all the things I've done… And if I do good job, then there's a million dollars in it for me."
Confessional Cabin: Courtney
"I can't believe they let Gwen back on this show! After what she did to me! As soon as I win the money the producers will be hearing from my lawyers… again."
Confessional Cabin: DJ
"Now that I know I'm not cursed anymore, I'm going to win this thing and buy a nice new place for my momma."
Confessional Cabin: Harold
"New season… Another chance to show off my wicked skills."
Confessional Cabin: Cody
"Last time I made it all the way to the final three, so I have a real good feeling about this."
Confessional Cabin: Sierra
"OMG! New season! I can't wait! Last time I made it all the way to the final four… and I would have made it to the final three if I hadn't destroyed the plane… Chris almost didn't let me back on, but then I threatened to write a bad blog about him. This time I'm going all the way to the end, and I'm going to share the money with Cody…"
Confessional Cabin: Duncan
"I know there's one million dollars for whoever wins, but after three seasons and only winning one of them, maybe I should just go home and stick to what I know best… Then again you can never have too much money."
Confessional Cabin: Izzy
"So stoked to be here! I don't know what I'm gonna do if I win, but I'm going to try anyway!"
Confessional Cabin: Lindsay
"I've been on all three seasons, and I know what Kyle… Kevin… Carlisle… Chris is like… But one million dollars… What a shopping spree!"
Confessional Cabin: Tyler
"I may not have won season one or three, but this time I've got my mojo on! I'm going to sail this ship, and then I'm gonna sink it!"
Confessional Cabin: Geoff
"New season dudes! And this time I'm gonna tear up the track! Or… the ocean… Is that even possible?"
Confessional Cabin: Bridgett
"In season two Geoff and I got kicked off in the first round because we made out all over the place. This time we won't spoil our chances by showing our affection in public."
Confessional Cabin: Beth
"In season two I made it all the way to the final two, this time I'm going to win the million and go on a shopping spree with my BFF Lindsay and my boyfriend Brady!"
Confessional Cabin: Noah
"Knowing our luck we'll probably crash into an iceberg, but then again I didn't die on that flying deathtrap last season, and I could use the loot."
"All aboard! The S.S. Chris leaves in five!"
Everyone was surprised to see that the deck was made of reflective tiles.
"What the heck is this?" asked Courtney.
"After Heather and Alejandro both made it to the final two last season the ratings really went down the crapper. So this season a significant amount of the ship's power comes from solar energy."
Confessional Cabin: Gwen
"The deck is made of solar energy converters? I must admit I'm impressed."
"Now I know it wasn't easy to convince any of you to come back for another season, but here's something you're all going to love. Everyone get's their own room!"
"Are you serious?" asked Heather.
"Dead serious. Now go kill each other for the best one."
Everyone expected their rooms to be full of cockroaches or something, but the rooms were clean and the beds were quite comfortable.
Confessional Cabin: Leshawna
"Okay, I've been on this show for three seasons, and I know this is way too good to be true."
Confessional Cabin: Sierra
"As an expert on Total Drama, I know Chris is up to something. This cruise ship doesn't fit his usual M.O. Not to mention there are only seventeen of us here. How the heck are we supposed to be divided into teams?"
Confessional Cabin: Chris
"They may know something is up, but they don't know what it is. I love my job."
(To be continued)
