AN-NO SPOILERS AHEAD
hello everyone. i normally do not read the authors notes since most times there is a synopsis of the story and i like to be surprised. however i thought it was time i put something up here about my story in regards to the reviews i have received. when i initially started this story it was supposed to be a one and done. this was my first time writing fanfic , EVER. i have been reading fanfic for maybe 4-5 years, so i understand the passion that we shippers have for our special characters. i am a rizzles shipper. however, as i write i must stay true to where i think the words are taking me. relationships have ups and down and they are messy and confusing. that's what this story- is a big ball of honest messy confusion. all i ask is that you keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times, hold on and enjoy the ride.
~patchoulli
It was 9pm on Thursday and Maura was settling down for the evening. She had the next two nights off after a busy week in the morgue, her new 4 part documentary she received in the mail, and was all set to geek out when there was a knock at her front door. With a sigh, Maura moved to the door after setting her glass of wine down on the kitchen counter. She pulled her silk robe tight around herself before she got to the door. Looking through the glass she saw Jane appearing a bit frazzled. Maura quickly opened the door and reaching out to her, "Jane, please, come in. You look terrible!"
"Thanks, Maura, that's just what I love to hear." Jane said sarcastically with a smirk. Stepping through the door Jane's eyes darted around the room. "Ummm, is Ma here?"
Maura, never taking her eyes off Jane as she walked through the door said, "No, Jane. She mentioned going to see Tommy and TJ this evening. Is there something I might help you with?"
"No. I mean yes. It's just…" Jane ran her hands through her hair and let out an exasperated sigh. Maura could see Jane's mind going a mile a minute.
"Come on Jane, have a seat on the couch. I'll grab you a beer." Maura gave Jane a small smile as she gently touched her arm and lead her to the couch.
Jane just looked at her and weakly nodded her head and slumped into the couch and held her head in her hands while messaging her temples.
Maura moved into the kitchen and got a beer from the refrigerator for Jane and picked her glass of wine up off the counter. As she walked back to the couch her robe slid open slightly reveling the top of her chest.
Jane heard Maura as she came back into the room, Jane looked up to grab her beer. That is when she noticed Maura's robe open a little more as she leaned in to hand Jane her beer. "Oh god…um i'm so sorry…I didn't mean to interrupt anything… I just…I was… I'll go..." Jane said as she set her beer down on the coffee table and began quickly moving to the door.
Maura pulled herself up and fixed her robe before she realized what Jane had said.
"Jane? What are you talking about? There is no one… Jane! Where are you going!?" Maura said the last part rather high pitched that it startled Jane and forced her to stop.
Jane turned around and looked at Maura's face. It was a mix of fear, confusion, and pain.
"Jane, I don't know or understand what is going on. You have barely said anything to me, which is fine because I enjoy your company, but to just run away?! You KNOW how that makes me feel." Maura sat her wine glass down on the coffee table. "I can see in your face something is bothering you. Just sit down and tell me what it is." Maura said the last part in a calming voice to coax Jane back to the couch.
"Maura I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just show up." Jane said looking embarrassed moving closer to Maura.
Maura smiled, "Jane I love when you are here, you don't need to apologize."
"I know Maura, it's just, I don't know, I needed to see you." Jane said looking right into Maura's eyes.
"Well, you know my door is always open for you." Maura said touching Jane's arm and sliding her hand down to Jane's hand.
"…along with everyone else." Jane smiled. " yeah, speaking about that…" they both laughed lightening the mood.
"Come. Sit." Maura said still holding Jane's hand as she moved back to the couch.
Jane flopped into the couch again. "Arghh! What a day! I am so glad I have tomorrow off." Jane looks around to see if anyone is hiding somewhere. "So…what where you doing?"
Maura looked at Jane and realized that she was trying to avoid whatever it was that brought her to her doorstep.
"Jane."
"Mau-ra?" Jane said teasingly
Maura narrows her eyes on Jane for her teasing. "Why did you come her Jane?"
Jane let out a deep sigh. Might as well get it over with. "Well, I came here because I needed to talk. I needed to work out some things that I have been…feeling."
Maura looked at Jane calmly while she sipped her wine. "Go on."
Jane looked Maura in the eyes "I have been having these thoughts about …someone at work."
Maura tilted her head to the side. Maura wondered to herself who it could be. Jane hadn't gone on any dates. As a matter of fact, Jane hadn't been on a date in at least 6 months. She had not been spending time with anyone other that her. Jane HAS been spending an awful lot of time in the morgue; Getting there early before Maura shows, stopping by to see her when there wasn't a case. Earlier this week Maura had seen Jane coming from the lab looking flustered as though she was lost and when she had seen Maura she cheered up. Does she have feelings for me also?
"Jane I think I understand." she said smiling at Jane
"You do?" Jane said shocked
"Yes, I believe so."
"I'm so sorry I tried to keep it under control, not to let it affect our work."
"It's all right Jane, I think I have known for a while."
Jane looked a little embarrassed "I'm so sorry Maura. I didn't want to say anything to you, but tonight, I needed you."
"Jane I am always here for you when you need me."
"I'm so glad you said that Maura. I was worried that you would be upset and it would ruin our friendship." Maura just looked at Jane with a small smile.
Jane got up and started to pace. "I don't know how it happened. I don't know if it is because we'd been spending a lot of time together this week, or if I have always felt this way and it is now in the front of my mind."
Maura watched Jane as she paced with her hands in her lap. "Jane, I have had a suspicion for some time now. I didn't want to say anything either because I didn't want to embarrass you or make you feel as though we couldn't spend time together like we have been."
Maura had been having these feelings for Jane and she was just happy that Jane had said it out loud first. She was aware of Jane's reluctance to talk about emotions so THIS was a big step.
'Well, dang-it Maura, I wish you had said something to me sooner, then I would't have had to keep making excuses to come to the morgue." Jane laughed as a wave a relief washed over her and she fell back onto the couch closing her eyes.
Maura leaned over to Jane and gave her a big hug as tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Jane, but now we can move on from here."
"Oh my god Maura, I am so relieved you feel this way." Jane pulled back holding Maura's hands and looking into her eyes with a serious expression. "So, how do you think I should tell her?"
Maura looked at Jane with shyly, "Jane I think your mother already knows."
"Ma knows?! HOW DOES MA KNOW?!" Jane screeched.
"It came up in conversation. I needed someone to talk to about this Jane. I couldn't speak to you because of the reasons I said. Angela is always open to discussing things with me."
"Oh my god Maura! oh my god, oh my god. How could you talk to Ma about this before I even knew myself?"
"Well, you have been a little obvious Jane."
"I haven't even spoken to her yet and Ma already knows." Jane put her head in her hands again on the verge of tears.
"Jane, it's all right. Angela will be fine." Maura said while rubbing Jane's back.
Jane looked up with tears in her eyes "No, not Ma. Susie!"
