Authors note: Crack fic fest!
Pairing: Leland and Denis/Denise.

Not one care was given. Not one single care, as Leland Palmer swerved from lane to lane, once again on his way to the Double R Diner.

DEA agent Denise Bryson's car was broken down on the same stretch of road Leland was currently dominating and as Leland rounded a corner he passed the agent walking the shoulder of the road with his high heels in hand. Denise had more, much more to lament than his ruined stockings when Mr. Palmer pulled up beside him, the radio blaring the Chorette's Lollipop.

"Hey there young lady! Do you need a lift?" Leland asked.

"Um...Sure," Denise replied softly.

"The name's Leland Palmer. I'm an attorney." He grinned as he offered his hand to Denise. "Was that your car a ways back?" Leland queried.

"Yes, it was." Denise had to raise her voice over the radio. "My tire blew out."

"Oh, my," Palmer simply stated and started the car to resume his swerving.

"Watch out! Are you drunk?"

"I haven't touched a drop," Leland answered and planted a big wet one on Denise's lips as the careened down the road. Denise pushed him away, trying to grab the wheel but Leland regained control and parked the vehicle at the side of the road, behind some trees.

Relieved, Denise started to get out but was pulled back into the arms of Mr. Palmer and smothered with hot kisses. Palmer's hands were all over Bryson. Beyond this calf, up his skirt and finally to the family jewels, but not one care was given. Not one single care.

"Watch it, buster," Denise slapped his greedy hands away but groping was overtaken with kiss upon kiss upon kiss. "Look, Mister Palmer, I don't even know you," Denise managed to say.

"Oh, well," Palmer said, pulling a lever under the passenger seat, laying Denise flat. There was something about Leland Palmer that entranced Denise.

Those eyes, so big and blue and those arms, warm and inviting. As Denise melted in his touch it was clear to see that not one single care was given. Not a single care.