Disclaimer: All characters used are not mine. Wish they were but they arn't. I'd take good care of them but... oh yeah... Not mine. The story is though... all mine.
Notes: Contains slash... and hints of rape. Lots of blood too.
Chapter One (Beginnings)
One would imagine that they wouldn't know when they'd gone insane. But as for me I knew, I knew the exact moment, it was when I was sitting there, I had been talking to my silent companion for a long amount of time, just trying to keep up a conversation that didn't exist. When I started to see the mirror's surface spread out like water. It was just gentle at first, my own reflection, rippling from one corner, slowly, so slowly, to the next. I blinked my eyes a few times and when all possible solutions had failed I decided I'd finally lost the last marble I was holding on to. At first all I could do was giggle, then I laughed, my companion looking over at me in alarm. "Hey Tro... I've lost my marbles" I stated and the look he gave me made me laugh more, the look was as if to say "yes I see that" but no words were expressed, just like Trowa. The silent one. I got up, going to the mirror, then teetering precociously on the edge of the hearth, the cool stone fire place beneath me. I heard Wufie come in and asked him if he'd ever seen the matrix. He surprised me with his affirmative answer, adopting Heero's affinity for calling me baka and trying to pull me off the high shelf, the mirror was large enough though, if I fell toward it, I wondered briefly if I'd fall in. "Maxwell... demon child get off the fireplace before you bust your skull" I laughed at Wu-man's preposterous statement. Me the god of death? Loose his balance, as soon as I thought of this though, my balance shifted from Wufie's tugging and I went head first into the mirror. But instead of being cut open, and shatters of glass being stuck out of my forehead, all I felt was a warm sticky gooey, all encompassing sensation. I smiled and let myself fall through completely. And this is what happened...
Wufie stared in utter shock, his hand still griping Duo's hair ribbon, the last thing he had been able to grab hold of. Trowa stood up and walked cautiously toward the mirror as if it would eat him. "Where did the baka go?" Wufie asked in bewilderment. Trowa suddenly got a very worried expression on his non-expression showing face, in other words his mouth twitched into a frown. Wufie suddenly decided there were worse things to worry about then the mirror and Duo's sudden disappearance. Like how they were going to tell Heero that they had just lost his partner to the sitting room mirror. Wufie grimaced as he heard Heero's outraged cry for Duo. Why did the baka have to chose now to fall into a bloody mirror, now when he had just replaced all of Heero's black spandex with pink spandex.
Duo stood in front of another mirror now, giggling slightly as he watched Wufie and Trowa look so utterly clue less. Maybe this was what it was like being in someone's mind. He looked around and laughed demonically. Blood splattered the walls of the sitting room, he would have been sad but he'd always known his mind would have been one bloody mess. He wondered where he kept the parts about Heero. But as he was heading out the door he noticed something on a table. A long, long butcher knife with fresh blood gleaming on the tip. He picked it up and was startled for a second. This knife was familiar, familiar in some odd way. He grasped his hand around the cool metal handle and watched as blood dripped down the blade and slicked across his white knuckled hand. He grinned a Shinigami grin and left. His hair flowing around him in long ringlets because Wufie had so rudely taken his hair band. Now to return himself back to sanity, first things first, deal with your demons.
Heero glared at Wufie, holding the small stain hair tie between trembling fingers. "You actually expect me to believe this crock of shit, where is the stupid baka, Trowa? Why are you all protecting him, you know better then to believe I would seriously hurt him don't you?" Heero asked now seriously worried about Duo, almost enough to forget about the pink shorts tormenting his bedroom. "Is he hurt" for a second Heero's real emotions showed through an his worry was full blown. Wufie paled, and Trowa gulped. "Where is he? Is he hurt" Heero voice was panicky almost, but all other signs were tightly under his perfect soldier mask. "He... he fell into the mirror Yuy, I swear, Trowa saw him do it to. I was trying to get him off the hearth, and he just sort of... well fell... through it, almost like it was a window" Wufie said and turned quickly to see Quatre walk in the room. Quatre looked more then a little worried and soon spotted the source of his confusing onslaught of feelings. "What happened?" he asked targeting Heero as the feeling of despair. Wufie quickly explained it and Heero was a little unnerved at the blonde one's display of empathy, he was already on the edge because of his partners disappearance, he didn't need the blonde peering into his emotions over it. "What?" Quatre looked at skeptic as Heero had been but quickly let off, knowing the two pilots would never lie to him. "Um ok... so Duo feel through the mirror" Quatre said trying to clarify his jumbled thoughts, but no one was paying any attention. Because it was happening again, the rippling, slowly going from one corner to another. Before anyone could say anything Heero was on the hearth, curiously putting his hand threw the liquid like surface. "Yuy? What are you doing?" Wufie asked slightly panicked. "I'm going to get my partner" he replied his arm and legs already through. "YUY!! Your supposed to be reasonable! Yuy!" Wufie was vainly screaming at the surface of the now normal looking mirror. "Fool" he said and sighed turning to the other two pilots. "Now what do we do?" he asked and Quatre looked at the again flickering surface. "Well we go after them of course" the blonde one said and dragged Trowa's tall lanky form to the hearth. Before Wufie could voice his complaint about this development though the short blonde pilot was through the mirror, his taller unibanged friend following faithfully after. Wufie stood there for a few minutes before following grumbling about injustice and dishonor.
Heero had hit the ground ready to fight, gun in hand. and was quite surprised to see his gun, well it wasn't his gun. He looked at his clothing and wasn't that surprised to see it had changed as well. Long trench coat, high collared tunic, and a pair of form fitting black pants, all in a midnight black. Heero looked at his clothing and briefly wondered why the mirror had made him look good. Heero had never cared about his appearance, it wasn't a necessity for any mission, so why should he worry about it. He checked to make sure his new gun was loaded, and decided he liked the feel of it enough to keep it. It was an old fashioned pistol, of which he had only seen its kind in antique shops that Duo had dragged him into. He suddenly focused on his reason for being here, recover 02 safely and find way out. He tried the mirror briefly, not at all surprised to see it was nothing more then the looking glass he had believed it to be from the other side. He sighed, that wasn't going to be a way out any time soon. He quickly picked up Duo's trail and followed the braided baka's trail out of the morbid mimic of the sitting room.
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufie tumbled out of the looking glass. Each new pair of eyes, slow to adjust to the hellish condition. "Oh god..." Quatre said, pink tinted skin turning white as he started to sense the death and pain around them "Where are we?". Trowa finished his mental walk through of the room, his analysis done before Quatre had finished talking. Wufie, thankful that before all this had happened he had been going to practice his sword, pulled out his long bladed katana and took a fighting posture that was natural to his body. Trowa sighed and put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. "They went that way" Trowa answered, pointing at the only door they had in the room. But before they could follow there trail. A small creature approached them. Looking odd, deformed, ugly. Its head was two sizes to small, and its size was that of a German shepherd but its body was that of a rat. Its tail curved up and had a hideous snake at the end. Quatre was staring at it in fear, and before anyone had the nerves to react to its presence, Wufie did the best thing he thought possible. He chopped off its head. Quatre looked mortified at the justice loving Chinese. "It didn't do anything to us! Why did you kill it?!" Quatre looked at the dead creature in sympathy. Wufie stared at him onyx eyes blinking in confusion. "Winner, you must have sensed the evil in that creature, it was foul, it had to be exterminated" Wufie answered, cleaning the blood from his sword, by wiping it on a dusty counterpart of the table cloth of their sitting parlor. Quatre looked uncertain for a minute remembering the evil vibe the beast had given, "but you should have given it a chance". "Not everything needs to be given a chance" Wufie answered and then left. But as he walked through the door way, he saw his clothing change, his normal clean white pants, and dark purple shirt, turned black, all black. He shook his head in confusion and turned to see what the other looked like. If it was only him. Quatre was walking out the door way when his pink shirt and purple vest decided to elongate themselves. His shirt now was untucked, reaching mid thigh, his vest reached the ground though. Both were shaded to dark black, and his khaki pants turned black as well. He gulped when a sickle fell in front of him. Wufie smirked and did what he thought Duo would have done, he missed his friend greatly... "Allah is great hu Winner?" he asked and Quatre shot him a weak smile. Trowa walked through to find his clothes change as well, a long trench coat was added to his normal pants and turtle neck. The group wasn't surprised to see it turn black, and when the tommy gun fell from thin air Trowa grabbed it with ease. "Oh but I hope we wont need these" Quatre said motioning toward the weapons that they had been provided with. Trowa managed a smile to comfort his friend and off they were following the trail of Duo and Heero.
Chapter Two (Solo)
You know what? I miss my hair tie... It keeps my hair out of my eyes, keeps it from getting in blood, and keeps bits of flesh and tissues from getting stuck in it. I hate not having it. I know I'm insane now, talking venus fly traps are not a sane thing to have happen to one when walking through a garden. But I suppose I should have ignored it, and I don't think it should have bled when I stabbed it. I know what you're going to say stabbing a plant that had done nothing to you is rude, but it had you see, it had eaten my apron front, and I wanted it back, maybe its a bit stained... but I like the color red, and soon it will turn to deep red, then black so why should it matter? I didn't think plants screamed either, its such a new take on weeding a garden. Pesticides must be like chemical warfare I suppose. But really the rose right in the middle, that was beautiful, so big, red, and the voice of an angel. That's why I almost got eaten by that monster of a plant. I was going to listen to her, she was calling for me. I wanted to see her. Talk to her. But then I killed the trap. She disappeared. Perhaps she wasn't a flower at all. There are strange pathways in the garden, somehow when I wasn't looking the garden must have turned into a forest, I'm not sure how but it did. So the clearings are what I follow now, there are long tread lines in the dirty path that make me think this is a long before abandoned road. Maybe its a path of thought I hadn't taken for a long time. Well as long as it didn't lead to a bad memory I think it'll be all right to follow it. Oh... look a clearing... maybe there is someone there, oh there is!
Heero sighed, why had Duo wandered into a forest? He wiped more blood from his clothing and vaguely wished for a sword. He tended to his bloodied arm and was surprised to see a sword sticking straight out of the ground in front of him. He almost looked up and thanked a god he didn't believe in. But then shook his head and pulled the sword from the ground, trudging on. He quickly came to a corpse he knew was not of his doing. He smiled gently thinking of Duo but quickly his sensitive eyes caught a movement in the trees beside the clearing, and then yet another on the opposite side, he quickly thought about the food chain, Duo had made food, the things beside him wanted it... shit Duo was probably being followed by now and not even aware of it. He waited for the beasts to come out of hiding, and soon was gifted with the presence of foul looking creatures, with small beady eyes, and features like a mutated retched ostrich. He stared at them, walking farther down the path calmly. They watched him go waiting till he was around a bend in the road before overtaking the corpse of whatever beast Duo had killed. Heero found himself face to face with a very large, very disgusting plant, and suddenly wished very much to be back with the ostrich things. He was prepared to slash it in half, his finger resting on the trigger when he found that the thing didn't move. He kicked the roots of the creature and was rewarded with no response. He breathed in shakily, not even noticing his halting breath. Then continued the way the blood led. He worried that if he didn't find Duo soon, then he'd find him dead.
Quatre was just comprehending the atrociousness of the world they were currently inhabiting. "Its just like the road outside the safe house, I was reviewing it for possible escape plans.. but... but that is not supposed to be here..." he said pointing at the forest of tangles and thorns that Heero had followed Duo into. "Then that is where we go" Wufie said walking through a practically large mushy substance that looked unerringly red. "Wufie I think you just walked through someone..." Quatre said pale skin turning even paler as he stepped gingerly over the bloody mass. Trowa followed and sighed as he shot something hobbling toward them at an alarming rate. "I'll pray for them later" Wufie said chopping at the thing that was following afore mentioned target practice used creature. "When I find Maxwell I'm going to chop off that braid and shove it so far-" "language Chang" Quatre scolded but Wufie was too busy chopping up something that was trying to strangle him from a tree. "Anyway I don't think its Duo's fault, You know he just curious, like a cute little kitten" Quatre stuck up for his braided friend, ever the mediator. "I don't care, I'm about to take its ninth life" Wufie said and Quatre rushed to keep up with him. Trowa following closely behind the blonde boy's back.
Duo had wandered into someone all right. A large, gigantic caterpillar. It sat on the largest mushroom Duo had ever seen. This thing must be as big as a house, Duo briefly wanted to sing mothra in a high pitched voice but decided against it. The large caterpillar beckoned him over and Duo obeyed, sitting nicely on a much smaller mushroom, beside the house sized caterpillar. "I'm dying" the insect stated and Duo tilted his head sadly. "Why?" he asked innocent confusion flitting across his boyish features. He could see no wounds on the large insects bright teal surface. "But your so beautiful, you cant die" Duo stated beautiful innocence his souls only companion. "I'm dying because the soul of this world is contaminated, a dark, evil thing is killing all good, and what arises from the corpses are monsters, or sometimes thing change all together. My friend... the dear sparrow... she turned into a dark phoenix, killing everything her bright feathers touched, she touched me and now I die to, like all my friends" The caterpillar said, his breathing, for a lack of better words, dying. Duo walked up to the caterpillar taking one of its many hands gently and squeezed it in his. The large caterpillar smiled down at him and took its last breath. Duo watched from his mushroom, as the caterpillar's beautiful teal and purple body split open, watched the black, demonic butterfly emerge, but before the butterfly could take flight he stabbed it straight in the torso, blood oozing over his bare arms as he struck it again. He waited for it to die, and then went back to his mushroom seat. He sat his face a pale color. "I'm sorry friend...".
Heero was just breaking through into the clearing when he smelled death. He shivered as he totally broke through, but he could not hide his joy at seeing Duo on the mushroom. He ran forward slowing when he didn't see Duo respond. He walked up carefully saying Duo's name tentatively and was surprised when he suddenly had Duo in his arms. He held Duo as the beautiful boy sobbed, whispering assurances and knowing he never wanted this feeling to end, even if he didn't know why Duo was crying, or where they were.
Chapter Three (First Kiss)
Oh god Heero... Heero do you know what I've done? "I killed them all didn't I". "What?" he asks and I know I shouldn't feel this heaviness at him not knowing who I speak of. "I killed my family didn't I? Just because I was happy death didn't like it, death took them all away... just like here" I sob on his shoulder because I know he too will be gone one day, because I've already tried so hard not to love him. "Duo... what are you talking about?" I feel even heavier now, he sits me on the mushroom, my imaginary mushroom and rubs my cheek with his thumb, I lean into his touch against my better judgment because it feels good, and comforting, and right. He holds me closely and now I've stopped crying and just stare blankly at his buttons. Silver small buttons. "Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, Solo" It was my fault. He shushes me, Heero shushes me. He kisses my ear, he Heero kissed my ear. "Its not your fault" Now I know I'm insane, Heero kissed me, kissed me deeply. He... he kissed my lips and bit at my jaw... I... I don't know what's going on anymore...
Heero couldn't process what he was doing, he just wanted to comfort Duo. He wanted to make it ok, make whatever it was ok so Duo wouldn't cry. So he kissed him. He figured if Duo didn't like him he'd be mad, and anything was better then sad. Heero could deal with the braided boy's hate, but when the violet eyes were filled with tears he couldn't handle it. He pulled away, nipping lightly at Duo's jaw. His eyes shut, waiting for Duo to slap him, or punch him. "Heero?" he heard Duo's voice ask, but not its usual happy self, the voice was small wavering. "I'm scared" Duo whispered and Heero wrapped his arms tighter around his braided partner. "Don't be afraid Duo... I wont let anything hurt you" 'unless it kills me before I get the chance' Heero thought. A shrill cry went out in the night and Duo looked up from Heero's protective grasp toward the gloomy sky. "The phoenix" he whispered "Heero we have to leave here now" he cried, dragging Heero from the clearing toward the trees where it was harder for large creatures to hide. "What's going on Duo?" Heero asked trying to make since of what was going on. "Everything was good... well think of it this way... I was happy... very very happy, and then everything I loved was ripped away from me, and slowly very slowly, everything went dead inside of me... this this is the dead part Heero... my soul is dying. So everything else is. I thought I was insane... maybe I am... maybe... why else would you kiss me" Duo stopped realizing he'd started rambling. "Because I wanted to... If you were insane wouldn't you have decided on something less dressy to wear?" Heero answered the question Duo hadn't meant to ask. Duo looked down at his blood stained dress. "I guess so..." he said and looked up at Heero once more his face in an adorable look of confusion. "If we never get out of your mind Duo... If it's true what you said, that your dying... your soul is dying... Then we will have to reverse the effects" Heero said and Duo got even more confused. "How Heero?" Duo asked and Heero let him go a little gathering up his slightly bloody hair in his hand and braiding it clumsily then tying it with the ribbon he still had. "My ribbon" Duo smiled. "We make you happy Duo, we kill whatever is harming your soul, depression I guess" Heero laughed slightly and Duo looked at him surprised. "You laughed" he said and Heero smiled. "You never laugh... you never smile" Duo stated again looking adorably confused. "I don't think I do this either" Heero said taking Duo's chin in his hand and kissing him passionately. Hey, he figured, he got away with it before, why not again?
Wufie was currently making a list, a very long list of ways to kill Duo Maxwell. He was hot, covered with blood, and currently tired of listening to Quatre talking. "Shut up... unless you can say something about a quicker way to find Duo... you can just shut up" he snapped. Quatre looked at him hurt then brightened up a bit. Wufie rolled his eyes. "Well actually, I just thought I was confused but..." Wufie cut him off "what? You know where Maxwell is?" Wufie asked hope breaching the surface. He prayed to Nataku the blonde one had an answer. "No... well yes... but no..." he said and Wufie looked at him like he himself had gone insane too. "Well... Duo is... well all around us guys... he... he is this place I think" he said and Wufie arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "You see I think we've wandered into his psyche" Quatre completed. Wufie looked to Trowa incredulously, but the unibanged one had unswerving faith in the phycholy happy blonde. "Oh god... your all insane" with this Wufie turned around to almost run smack dab into Duo's violet eyes... just the eyes, and that unnerving Shinigami grin. Wufie managed to say something in Chinese about demons before fainting into a heap. Quatre jumped over Wufie's limp body and shook the hand that appeared in thin air. "Hi" he said happily, his hunch was correct. "Hi" the mouth spoke, which proved to be connected to a body that looked surprisingly like Duo's, just without the priest frock, and in a weird outfit of purple and teal stripes. The figure was also surprisingly chibi. "What's your name?" he asked and the chibi Duo, which proved to be neko too, smiled. "I'm Duo" it answered and Quatre smiled again. "I'm Quatre" Trowa looked at Quatre with a blank face, but if you were Quatre, it was as if to say, Have you gone daft? Duo knows you. But Quatre only smiled as the chibi-neko-Duo took his hand, and floating through the air, led him from the woods. Trowa sighed and picked up Wufie following his blonde partner faithfully.
When Wufie regained consciousness it was to find himself in a train car, he briefly wondered what a train car was doing in Duo's psyche but chalked it all up to it being the baka psyche, it was bound to be more messed up then most peoples. Quatre was staring out the window scowling and Trowa was looking slightly afraid of the small figure that was currently tying Wufie's shoelaces together. As Wufie took this all in, it took him a double take to realize what the little Duo midget was doing. "STOP IT" he bellowed and the poor purple eyed chibi-neko hid right behind Quatre's leg. Quatre immediately glared at Wufie and got that "you fucking retard" look on his face. "He is just a child Wufie, how could you yell at him?!" Quatre picked up the monstrous little Duo thing. But as Wufie looked at it with its "I'm the puppy you just kicked and threw out a window" look, he gave up. "I'm sorry Maxwell" he said and the violet eyes looked blank. "Whose Maxwell?" It asked and Wufie looked at it mimicking the blank look. "He doesn't know about his last name yet, this is "little" Duo, as in young "never seen a gundam before" Duo" Quatre explained. Wufie still looked blank but shrugged. "Sorry Duo" he said and before he could lean down to retie his shoelaces he had a bundle of violet and teal and chestnut in his arms. "Iz ok" came the garbled reply. Wufie melted.
Heero looked up from the top of Duo's hair to see a train, well coming out of no where. Duo laughed slightly, still on the verge of loosing himself further into this world. The only thing keeping him pinned down was Heero's hand, tightly wrapped around his own. They both had the same thought at once and started running toward the train. Together they jumped on the back, speed and grace just as in battle. Heero opened the back door as Duo clumsily sharpened his blade on the metal railing. Heero opened the door to come face to face with, well Duo. When Duo turned from where he was sharpening he saw, well he saw himself. A tiny bit shorter, wearing his normal priest garb, but, but he was, well he was practically sticking his tongue down Heero's throat. Duo, very confused, and a little jealous, hit, well he hit himself over the back of the head. Heero watched the "other" Duo slide to the floor in a daze. "Whoa" he said simply and Duo grunted something and dragged Heero farther into the train. Duo was not very happy at this current moment, it wasn't Heero's fault, but... "It's not the same" Heero suddenly said, and Duo stopped abruptly to look at him. "What?" he asked his head tilting to the side. Heero bridged the gap between them, not able to help the fact that he was a very horny teenager. "This..." he said before claiming Duo's mouth with his own. He slipped his hand to the nape of Duo's neck, and ran his other hand down Duo's spine. Duo moaned, his eyes were closed tight but if they had been open you could have watched them glaze over with lust. Well he wasn't exactly mad any more.
Quatre looked up from the window toward the door leading to the walkway in the train. "Did anyone hear that?" he asked. Trowa got up and opened the door. Suddenly laying on the floor looking very shocked was Duo, and right on top of him, in a very compromising position was Heero. Wufie suppressed the urge to snicker at the situation, but then lost his seat mate when the chibi-neko-Duo, flew in between the two and snuggled on Duo's chest. Heero looked down at it. "What is this?" he asked arching an eyebrow and two sets of clear violet eyes rose to look up at him. Just like Wufie, he melted. Wufie helped Heero up and Heero in turn helped both chibi-neko and the original Duo up. "This is me... as a little kid... really little" Duo answered. "Its his child hood" Quatre supported him. "What happened from there?" Wufie asked and Duo whirled around to him practically spitting "Nothing! I'm fine" ,before he could lunge at Wufie Heero had grabbed his arm. He turned infuriated but met beautiful blue eyes. He stopped "Gomen Wufie... I'm on edge" Duo answered. Wufie looked out the window for a second, to feel anything but the waves of love that were so obviously being shared between the American and Japanese pilots. "Yeah I can see that" because what met his eyes was, well a very large cliff, following right beside them. "Were nearing the 'vide" came chibi-neko-Duo's response. "What divide?" Quatre asked, but this time Duo spoke up. "Between childhood... and adulthood" Duo said shivering slightly, he knew exactly what came ahead, and he wanted nothing more then to go home right now.
Chapter Four (Growing Up)
One day when I have enough time to think about it, maybe I'll wonder when Heero started feeling this way, whether he was just a dream or was real. Whether the hand on my back, or his fingers entwined with mine was just wishful dreaming. Why he kisses so passionately? Why he likes me? I watched the divide, the cliff breaking, pieces falling from the tracks. I could feel Heero's hand, warm, hot almost on my back. His hand almost low enough to be on my hip instead. I looked from one companion to the next. Sweet, cute little Quatre my mother hen, Trowa his rooster. They'd love seeing what I think about them, and they soon would. I don't know where the doubt came from, but I don't want Heero to see what I think about him. I know he probably wont care, I have more chance now then I ever had before, what with his sexual like for me. But I worry if its just that, just sexual. Because I do love Heero. He's my best friend. My... well my everything. I look briefly at Wufie, and I can almost sense something wrong with him, but when his eyes meet mine he just looks worried, we all look worried, even Trowa looks slightly worried. None of them really want to know what happened to me. To make me manic, to make me depressed. To make me what I was from that young version sitting on Quatre's shoulder. Except when I look up into Heero's eyes, that is when I see curiosity, compassion, wanting. Almost like he wants to be a part of me. I believe I'm reading too much into Heero's eyes. Its easy to do I guess, I almost saw love in there once. Almost...
Quatre looked at Duo, his worry intensified by the other boys emotions. But then he looked at Heero, and somehow knew they'd be all right. Duo couldn't do this alone, couldn't face the ghost's of this part of his past without someone to comfort him. Quatre, cared, Quatre would sacrifice so much for his friends. But his sensitive soul wasn't ready to battle demons the size of Duo's. Heero glanced out the window, his arm circling around Duo's waist. The other hand laying limply to his side with his sword gripped tightly in it. His gun was tucked into the back of his shirt, hidden by the trench coat. He had been the only one other then Wufie to bring a weapon, he hopped it would come in handy. He could slightly feel the shaking of Duo's form and worried whether or not his small partner would be able to handle the things ahead. He'd promised to protect Duo, but he didn't know whether or not he could protect his sanity. Wufie looked up at the chibi-neko-Duo, and suddenly felt an pang of jealously. He wanted to comfort Duo, to be his best friend. Heero was an insensitive bastard, he could have done everything Heero had, and more. But when he decided to maybe challenge Heero's role, he looked once at them and decided here was not the place to do it in.
When the train finally stopped chibi-neko-Duo faded away. Much to Wufie's sorrow, it was fun to listen to young Duo's speech. If he didn't forget a letter in a word, he left the word out all together. They passed over a great cavernous drop off, and the train started blowing from side to side like a sky scrapper in a hurricane. Just when Quatre thought he was going to loose his breakfast they got to the other side. The train came to a dead stop and each pilot got out taking there bearings. "Duo do you know where we are?" Quatre asked, staring up at a huge warehouse, and suddenly realized, if he was the age of the chibi Duo, about seven, this would be how a warehouse would appear. "Ye... yes" Duo answered, and quickly found Heero's trench coat around his shoulders. He put it on clumsily not tearing his gaze from the building once. It was dilapidated, old, the gloom surrounding them didn't help much. This place was in a permanent state of gloom. Duo's violet eyes were wide with fear, and at first no one else saw what he started running after. But immediately Heero ran after him. Duo screamed at the apparition. It was another version of himself, about a year younger then the chibi on the train. Duo screamed for it to stop, but by the time he got to it, the apparition had disappeared. He fell to the ground sobbing, and the other pilots stayed back while Heero comforted him. "What happened here Duo?" he whispered, but Duo shook his head, his face buried against Heero's chest. Heero glared up at the building for it to have caused Duo so much sorrow. "Don't make me go in there" Duo whispered, and suddenly Heero saw what Duo had been the first to notice, there was no possible way around this building. They had to go through it to go on.
"No we are not going to split up again" Quatre stated firmly, he would not chance loosing the other two pilots again. "I will be with him, he needs to get through... this... alone. You being there will mortify him, he's scared enough, leave us to go through it first, when we find the door way we will come back for you" Heero said, his voice making the decision final. Quatre hated it. "If your not back in an hour we're coming through. "How are you going to tell what time it is?" Heero asked. Quatre held up his watch and Heero turned it toward his face. True to Heero's statement, the watch was stopped, directly on 2:59 am. "When we get wherever were going I think we will have exactly a minute to do whatever needs to be done. Because it was only seven p.m. when I went though the mirror" Heero answered. They knew it couldn't have been that long since they got in. Plus Wufie's watch showed seconds, it was directly stopped on the second before the minute would change. Wufie looked angrily at Duo, who stood aloof staring at the building, waiting for Heero to return. Wufie could have supported Duo, whatever it was in there he could have handled. But no the asshole Japanese got to. Duo needed someone more sensitive, but with Wufie's jealousy clouding his judgment he didn't see exactly how supporting Heero was being. Quatre was disturbed by Wufie's emotions. Why would he be jealous? Who would he be jealous of? Well he guessed it was Heero. Suddenly it all made since. As he watched Duo and Heero walk in the warehouse together. Yes Duo was in love with Heero, it was so obvious, and Heero loved him in return, but the two were too stupid to ever tell each other. But then there was Wufie, Quatre wanted to slap himself for not seeing it. Wufie had a crush on Duo, he was jealous of Heero, because Heero was Duo's only want. Trowa looked at him momentarily nodding his agreement.
Chapter Five (Jealousy)
I don't want to go in there, never want to go in there again. But I cant tell Heero I'm afraid... I already used up that privilege for today. Maybe I should warn Heero of what he might see. I look down and am not that surprised to see a very loose turtle neck sweater, and another very loose pair of khaki slacks. Heero looks at my clothing and raises an eyebrow. Should I tell him about that day? No... maybe it wont happen. Maybe I'll get through this without it happening again. Then I hear the morning dove, it will happen, its already started. I wish I could run away while its still possible. We come to the hallway's end. "You should go left, I'll go right" I say because I went right that day, and I never want anyone to see what happened. But Heero just looks at me. "We'll both go right" he answers an unasked question, unasked because I was too afraid to ask for help. I almost want to kiss him, but then again I want to scream at him and make him go left. So down the hallway we go, and I count the doors, waiting for it to happen. Suddenly I'm grabbed, straight from Heero's grasp. Oh god... its happening again.
Quatre heard the scream, it echoed in his mind. Trowa grabbed him before he could hit the ground. But then there was pain, he blacked out. It was a unanimous decision between Trowa and Wufie to get there asses in there now. Trowa lifted Quatre and the two boys were running through the door way.
Heero was panicking, suddenly the door had disappeared. He stopped in his tracks and listened, hearing muffled screams from the floor above, he ran to the end of the corridor, his heart pounding, he had promised Duo, he would not break his promise. He took four steps at a time, practically flying up the steps. He heard the screams louder now, and knew, even through the terror the voice possessed, that the voice was Duo's. Heero kicked open the door and before his mind had even processed his surrounding he was enraged, infuriated.
Quatre regained his senses as they were running up the stairs. He was instantly panicking. "We have to find Duo now!" he cried and Trowa nodded. Wufie was enraged, he knew he could have protected Duo better then Heero. Wufie was already too late though. Heero had already gotten there by the sound of things getting shot and ripped apart.
Heero had stalked forward, ripping a very tall boy from the top of Duo and throwing him clear through the wall of the flimsy room. He slashed the other boy through with his sword, and when he went to retrieve the one he'd thrown through the wall, he gutted him. He walked slowly to Duo, his adrenaline dying, and just worry for Duo surfacing. "are you ok" he whispered. His fingers ghosting across Duo's cheek. Duo opened his eyes and threw himself at Heero, wrapping his arms around Heero's chest and sobbing again. Heero kissed Duo's forehead, ran his hand over the beautiful pilots back. "Shh... I promise you'll be all right" he whispered. Heero had his back to the door, so when Wufie struck him hard on the back he just doubled over, falling to the ground in pain, he whirled around, his gun cocked and pointed straight at Wufie's head. "How dare you touch him after you almost made this happen to him" Wufie screamed, but before he could hit Heero again was slapped, very hard across the face. Duo stood there, khaki pants torn, shirt ripped too badly to be salvaged, his hand slightly stinging from the harsh impact to Wufie's face. He dropped beside Heero and made sure his partner was all right. Wufie stood there in shock for numerous seconds. Quatre too dropped his jaw in shock. "Heero... are you all right? Heero?" Duo sounded like he was going to have a nervous break down. Heero looked up at Duo, blue eyes filtering out there pain from Wufie's blow. "I'm fine" he whispered reassuringly, and Duo gently hugged him, hiding his face in the crook of Heero's neck. As much as Heero wanted to deck Wufie for hitting him, he also wanted to thank him, he had made Duo stop crying. He leaned down and kissed Duo gently, almost as much to hear Wufie jealously stomp from the room as to just have Duo beside him. He finished, the kiss almost numbing away the pain that had shot all the way down his spine. He stood and put his trench coat back on Duo, it had been thrown onto the floor, or maybe it had just floated off.
Quatre had fought the urge to follow Wufie, but it had won, he had dragged Trowa from the room and followed Wufie's figure that was storming through the warehouse. When he caught up to the enraged Chinese he made him stop. "Take a few deep breaths Wufie, let it out" he said and the Chinese pilot proceeded to let it out on a wall, his katana turning it into slivers. Quatre was worried about the other two but new better then to think Heero would let anything happen to Duo. "He cares nothing for him as I do" Wufie screamed. Now this made Quatre mad for some reason, he found his hand slamming across Wufie's face. "You have no idea how much Heero loves him Wufie. I think maybe before you start making judgments you should think about how stupid they sound" Quatre said and walked away. His silent partner yet again following faithfully.
"This... was a memory wasn't it?" Heero asked, wanting to make sure that it wasn't a nightmare or something. Duo nodded. Heero understood the implications. Without Heero there much worse had happened to Duo then having his clothing torn. He brought Duo tight into his arms and rocked him gently, the only form of comfort he could think of. "Its all right Duo... it will never happen again" he whispered and felt Duo shiver in his embrace and clutch to him tighter. He picked Duo up and carried him down the stairs, meeting up with Quatre and Trowa. He didn't even want to know where Wufie was right now, so when they found the door way he looked to the other two. "Wait for Wufie then follow our path. If he doesn't come out in the next hour just start following our path. We don't have the time to stop everything and look for him." Heero said, putting Duo down but looking at him wantingly for a few seconds before looking back to his other fellow pilots. "Be careful guys" Quatre said and Heero nodded, turning to Duo and seeing that he was dressed in his priest garb. He smiled gently at the braided boy and tugged on said braid in a familiar friendly way. Duo smiled at him nervously. Once more Duo and Heero set off on there own. "God I hope they'll be ok" Quatre whispered.
Wufie was currently far ahead of Heero and Duo on the path. If Duo didn't want his help then he'd force it on him. He'd make Duo take his help. Because he knew it was much more then Heero could handle, these things that they were all about to face, what Wufie didn't understand though was maybe he wasn't enough to handle it either.
Chapter Six (Past come to haunt you?)
Maybe I should warn him "Heero..." no... I cant talk about it... "Yes Duo?" his hand tightens around mine. I smile nervously, but am reassured in the most vague way. "Some of this stuff... its... bad" I say, not able to say much more. He nods to me in understanding. If Heero loved me at all respected me at all, I was about to loose all of that. Oh god please don't let Heero see this happening. We take a curve, the road we are on twists and I can see what's up there before Heero does. Because I know what it is. Its the corner of a street, it was on L2 when I was little. There leaning against the street lamp, playing with his torn coat is me. But what surprises me is the much taller figure beside me. It's Wufie. What the hell is he doing?! I run and I can hear Heero running behind me.
Wufie was seriously starting to doubt his ability to handle the situation. Duo had never told him, never told any of them... about this part of his past. Violet eyes stared up at him. Haunting in the hurt they held, the maturity of eyes that young shook Wufie to his very core. He felt someone stop beside him and looked up from young to old. He tilted his head as he understood the emotion warring with Duo's features was rage. When he looked back down he could no longer see his earlier companion. He watched as Duo fell against the pole, doubling over and throwing up. Heero panicked, dropping to the ground beside Duo, and rubbing his back till the heaving stopped. "Oh... god" Duo said more to himself then god. Heero brought an arm around Duo as his American partner screamed. Wufie kneeled beside him to. No longer jealous, he understood that there was no way he could cope with Duo's problems. He was in no shape with all the problems Duo had. He didn't want to admit it, but his love just wasn't strong enough to handle Duo's past and not break. Heero rocked Duo back and forth till the braided pilot stopped crying. They stood together, and Heero wished to hell that this nagging feeling of what was going on wasn't what he thought it was. Duo leaned against the pole again. and looked at Wufie. "You know don't you" he said voice low and husky from crying. Wufie looked down ashamed and nodded. "Damn you" he whispered not really to Wufie but more to himself, he clenched his fists around the pole and wanted to pull it from the ground, run it over with a car, get rid of the memory he had tried to hide for so long.
Heero was the first to notice, the tall fat, almost egg shaped man coming toward them. He glared at the man and put a hand on Duo's shoulder protectively. Duo noticed next, his face twisting horribly to fear, his skin paling so much so that it was like porcelain. He shook like he was going into shock. Wufie pulled out his katana, as Duo's clothing changed from priest grab to a baggy black shirt and baggy blue jeans. "Oh god... oh god no" Duo whispered, unable to move he was so scared. The man was finally next to them and before Japanese or Chinese pilots could react had grabbed Duo's braid and was roughly yanking him toward a building. "What's your charge?" came a rough disgusting voice. Heero and Wufie together lunged at the man, Heero's blade cutting through the man's neck, and Wufie's cutting through his chest. As soon as the man's body hit the ground Duo's clothing changed, priest like once more. Heero dropped his sword, quickly bringing Duo into his arms. Duo didn't move, just stared at Heero's shoulder in some shock like state. "Duo... Duo please come back to me" Heero whispered into Duo's ear. Wufie stood there helplessly, he had no idea what to do. He knew no way to comfort the American. He'd never had to comfort anyone before. "Heero?" Duo's voice was small, insecure. "Yes Duo, it's me it's Heero, I promised you no one would hurt you didn't I? Your all right Duo" he whispered against Duo's neck, tears falling on pale creamy skin. "I promised you" he whispered refusing to accept the tears were his own. Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's waist and snuggled against his chest. "Thank you" he whispered. Wufie knew better then to interrupt. To say that he too had been involved in the slaying of that beast. Heero controlled his crying and stood, bringing Duo as he did so. He held Duo in his arms, never wanting to let go, but he knew they had to go on. There was more, it would kill him to see Duo being used again, but he knew there was more.
Quatre was debating whether or not right now would be a good time to kiss Trowa. He decided it wasn't. Wufie had still not shown himself and so very reluctantly they left to follow Heero and Duo down the path. Quatre sighed. This was not gonna be pretty. He didn't exactly know the extent of Duo's suffering, but they were about to head straight into it.
Chapter Seven (Suicide is painless)
Well unless we go through every single one of my bad experiences, and not just the memories that keep filtering up, well we should be out of the woods right? Oh god... I don't think I could handle that again. "Duo?" I smile slightly. I really do love Heero don't I? "Yes" we are farther ahead of Wufie, a few yards I guess. He is a bit slow. I guess finding out about me affected him. I guess Heero hasn't made the connection yet. He'll probably be as disgusted as Wufie when he does. "How much did they pay you?" he asked, well I guess he does know... oh god... "Hundred credits sometimes, depends" I said and Heero squeezed my hand. I looked at him scared and he smiled at me. "It wasn't enough, no amount of money would be enough for you" I... I think Heero was just being sweet to me. I kissed his cheek because it was the best thing I could think of. He smiled at me, and I could have died happy from that smile. It was beaming and bright and so beautiful and I'm rambling about Heero's smile which probably isn't Heero anyway but a figment of my imagination. But I don't care right now, so I smile back. So what? If I'm dreaming this is the best damn dream yet. Heero smiled at me. He, Heero smiled at me. Me. Just me.
Wufie felt like throwing up, if he had to listen to that fake sap any longer he'd shoot himself in the head with Heero's pistol, or shoot Heero in the head. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that the Japanese pilot could handle it and he Wufie, the strongest in his clan could not. But when Duo kissed the arrogant Japanese on the cheek that was the last straw, he turned around to find Quatre and Trowa, he couldn't deal with them anymore. When Duo finally remembered to check for Wufie, the Chinese boy was long gone. "Heero? Where did Wu-man go?" he asked and Heero turned around to find more of what Duo had. Nothing.
Wufie was just starting to get lost when he heard the familiar sound of Quatre's voice. He ran off to find the pilot and was very surprised to see a very large video screen in his way. On it was Quatre laughing, mothering, well being Quatre. Wufie suddenly decided this must be how Duo viewed Quatre. He looked to another screen and saw Trowa, following Quatre, and being, well being silent and Trowa like. Finally he turned a little more and saw himself. He wanted to sob. He... well he was an uptight jack ass in Duo's eyes. But he could tell that Duo still considered him his friend. He looked for the screen that showed Heero, but didn't find it, only screens with various other people he had never seen before on them. Maybe that was a good thing, he vaguely hoped. But not in any of these did he see Duo wanting them for a more then a friend... what if he did want Heero for more.
Quatre was just about to give up and sit and wait for someone to find him and Trowa, like a four year old at the mall. When he heard talking. They rounded a bend and saw a video screen. It was kinda odd, seeing a video in the middle of Duo's psyche. But as the studied it, Quatre got the gist that this was every single good thing that had ever happened to Duo, and the image that kept reoccurring the most, was, Heero. Quatre sighed and wished he could find them. Suddenly he heard whistling, kind of off pitch to be any song he knew but the more he listened the more it reminded him of a show Duo used to watch all the time. Then coming around the corner in the pathway was Duo, Black cap pulled over his violet eyes, priest garb in messy array. Quatre saw bandages going up to his elbows from his fingers. He knew Duo had a past of Suicide. He finally recognized the song Duo was humming, as the one from M*A*S*H, if his memory served him correctly, it was titled "Suicide is Painless" he gasped. "Hi" said the figure as it stopped in front of them, staring up at the video screen. "What are you doing all the way over here, I'm on the other side" came the voice from beneath the cap, something a little manic, sad about it. Violet eyes looked up into Quatre's and the pain hit the poor blonde like a freight train. "Take us there" Quatre whispered, trying not to faint under the pressure of the braided one's feelings. "God I'm always hurting people" Duo whispered, a little blood leaking through the already pink tinted bandages. "No Duo, you haven't hurt me, I'm fine" Quatre said, hugging his friend, and watching a Shinigami grin slip into place. Ever to Duo's defense were his plethora of masks. "Come on Blondie" Duo said slipping his fingers to intertwine with Quatre's and leading them from the video screen. Trowa took one last look at it before Quatre's fingers caught his own and dragged him along. If Duo was as depressed as this image portrayed, then how could he be happy at all. Duo was one of the strongest people he knew. All of his friends were strong. Especially Quatre. He struggled to hide a smile at the thought of his blonde angel but one glance at Quatre made him smile just the slightest bit. It was getting harder to hide his feelings, much harder since Quatre had entered his life. If he had a video screen in his mind he was sure it would show Quatre the most. Quatre looked at Duo, well the suicidal part of Duo he guessed. "Yes" bright violet eyes rimmed in red looked at him. "You want to know why I haven't been taken over by the darkness? Well I'm needed too much, and... well I'm too much in pain for them to notice the difference between me and... well them" Duo answered. Quatre smiled wearily.
Chapter Eight (Fantasy Takes Flight)
I wish I could make it all go away. But hey someone was bound to find out about it one day right? Heero looks at me as we walk through the ruins, still fresh in my mind. I can smell the death, blood, burned flesh. I shiver and feel only a twinge of comfort when Heero puts an arm around my shoulders. I see the chapel cross lying, slightly broken, wood sticking out at odd angles. We pick our way through the ashes. I refuse to cry, I've cried enough damn it.. But when I feel tears falling over my cheeks, I'm not very surprised. I remember them so clearly, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, everyone in the orphanage. My first home, my last home. Heero knows the story, it was in the paper enough. I'm sure all of the pilots have connected the orphanage with me. I feel his finger's ghosting against my hand, and have recognized it as a need for my fingers with his. So we twine our fingers together, and I feel protected. "It's not your fault" he whispers but I've been believing it was for too long.
Quatre followed Duo's ghostly counterpart through a swamp of sorts. "My home sweet home... depression I'd like to call it" Duo said, voice wry and humorless. Quatre shivered. "Blondie... just do me a favor... when you all get back... make me eat some chocolate chip cookies... god I love those things" Quatre smiled, unable to suppress it even if Duo's humor was just to reassure him. Quatre looked down, worried because with each step his connection to Duo, there hands grasped together, was fading. Duo suddenly stopped and turned to them. "I cant go any farther... this... this is the Heero part of my memories..." tears started to fall. "God... ya know I love him. I love him so much... But I can never be with him" Duo started but swallowed his words and tears. "Why?" Quatre asked, rubbing Duo's shoulder comfortingly. "Hey... like it maters... I'm depression remember blondie. Get out of here, before they take you over" Duo was once more smiling that strikingly heartbreaking smile, and as he turned and walked away, they could once more hear the theme song, and between whistles hear Duo's light sobbing.
Wufie was currently trudging through a dirty pathway. Then he heard whistling. Faint whistling. But it was Duo's irritating whistle. "Duo..." he said in confusion, at the bleeding but grinning version on Shinigami. "Hi Fei" he said and stopped in front of him. "Where is Heero?! Why are you bleeding?! That fool I knew he couldn't take care of you!" he started ranting when he felt Duo's hand cover his mouth. "Hey Fei... tell Heero I love him... we're that way" Duo said and kissed him lightly before disappearing. Wufie brought his hands up to meet air. "Damn it." he said "kissama" he added, more to himself then the ghost Duo. He walked ahead, remembering the kiss. Hell if he would tell the bastard that. He'd die before he admitted that to the asshole Japanese. Wufie brought his eyes up and came face to face with... Heero.
"Was that directed toward me Wufie?" Heero asked. Wufie nodded his head and decked the Japanese pilot. Heero ducked and upper cutted him, kneeing him in the groin as he did so. Wufie hit the ground coughing for breath and groaning in pain at the same time. His only comfort was Duo beside him. "Are you ok?" he heard the braided boy ask in worry. Ne nodded his head, and felt a stab of pain when he was then scolded. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? You've been at each others throats since we all met up. I want to know what's going on and I want to know now!" Duo said, putting his hands on his hips cutely. Heero repressed the urge to smile, but soon remembered the seriousness of the situation. "He started it" he said, sounding too much like a child for his own comfort. Wufie looked up, directly up, and saw, Heero. Everywhere. Like a child would decorate there bedroom with pictures on the ceiling. Everywhere there was Heero. He gasped and the other two pilots looked up as well. "Oh shit... I was hopping we wouldn't find this" Duo said before blushing deep red.
Quatre was currently acting like his usual mother hen self, trying desperately to find his friends and worry enough for him and all the Maguanacs combined. Trowa was about to kiss him to get him to shut up when they came upon the other three pilots. Quatre yelped in joy and ran up to them. They were all staring at the ceiling, and when he looked up he realized why. "Wait for it" he heard Duo say and suddenly three sides of the air surrounding them turned to video screens. Duo blushed even brighter crimson and stated the obvious. "There... there my fantasies" he said and really wanted to crawl somewhere. Wufie's mind left his body and he fell to a hump on the floor. Quatre blushed almost brighter then Duo, and felt oddly like a vouerist. Trowa, refused to open his eyes, and wished for all he was worth for a pair of ear plugs. Heero on the other hand, was staring dumbfounded at the fantasy. It was his too. He practically got so close to the screen that he could press his face up to it with a few inches moved. It was him, and Duo, and they were. Well screwing each others brains out. Heero suddenly thought maybe he was dreaming. Duo would never share his fantasy. This... this was his heaven.
Trowa had the intelligence to drag Quatre out and they sat outside as the gloomy sky turned to rain. Quatre looked up as the rain drops splattered his face. He found Trowa's hand and they got closer. "I love you" Quatre said and Trowa put an arm around him. "Just wanted you to know. If someone can get as tortured as Duo has, I just want to tell you before we die like this. All shriveled and loveless, I know your not ready" Quatre was cut off by Trowa's lips gently on his. He smiled into the kiss and snuggled him. "Love you too" the man with no words spoke, and it was the first time he actually wanted to talk.
Chapter Nine (Death Walking)
Oh god he's so disgusted he wont even look at me. "Heero..." I talk and I don't even recognize my voice it's so small. "Heero... I... I'm sorry... I was hopping you wouldn't have to see this" I shrink away. I know this is going to hurt. "How long ago did this become a memory, when did it stop being your fantasy?" he asks me. How do I tell him it still is. That I can't take a shower unless its cold because I imagine the water is his hands on me. How do I tell him I still wake up screaming his name in passion. "It never stopped, I still have them" I say. He turns to me. I'm almost floored by his eyes. "You have no idea do you?" he asks me a question. I have no idea. "Your not the only one who has these you know" he points at our make shift walls. I look down because I cant stand looking at him. "You want me?" he asks. "Yes" I answer. He closes the distance between us. His hands on me immediately and I'm not sure whether I can handle the passion I see in those cloudy blue eyes. "Want me" he whispers and I moan as he thrusts me up against the wall, his hips violently thrusting against mine. I throw my head to the side whimpering and he nips at my neck, then collar bone. His hands are all over me and he's driving me crazy.
Wufie opened his eyes and at first he thought the whimper was just in his imagination, but when his vision decided to clear and he saw a very real Duo and Heero practically getting laid on the wall he quickly left. He was bright red when he finally got past them. Seeing Quatre and Trowa doing a toned down version of the same thing didn't make anything better. Before he knew it he had a nose bleed. He was not happy. "MAXWELL, YUY, WINNER, BARTON" he yelled and immediately four sets of eyes were fixed on him. "I'm sure your raging hormones want it to happen now. But I think going home would be a good idea. Yes?" he asked, furious at everything having gone to hell while he was passed out.
Heero kissed Duo sweetly before letting go of him, but one hand still clenched tightly around Duo's braid. Duo tried to gather his wits, his mind still clouded in a lusty haze. Quatre and Trowa stood, hands tightly held together. Duo and Heero walked out, met by Quatre and Trowa. Wufie stood ahead of them all, stopping his bleeding nose from being more bloody then necessary. They all went together as a group.
Duo was in front of all of them, Heero still the closet to him. He caught sight of the red first. "Guys... its the rose... and the phoenix. Be careful and don't let the phoenix touch you" Duo said before grabbing his butcher knife from its make shift sheath. Suddenly all of them passed an invisible doorway and immediately changed. Duo was dressed in a long black robe, his butcher knife having changed into a long bladed scythe. He briefly swung it, natural grace causing it to look like a death dance. Heero was dressed as a knight, but his armor was simple, his gun had turned into another sword and he held both expertly. Wufie was dressed like Chinese royalty, all in white. Quatre and Trowa both wore white versions of there former clothes. "Oh god... I just realized what this is..." Duo said looking out at the battle field between them and the red rose, or on closer look, the red queen. "Chess".
Duo looked ahead then looked at his companions. "The pawns" he nodded toward Quatre and Trowa. "The bishop" toward Wufie, "the knight" toward Heero. He smirked now, "and the queen" he looked ahead again. Feeling Heero's hand caress his shoulder for a second before it picked up its sword again. Wufie looked at them all. "We go for our counter parts. Heero your my back up, Wufie I'm counting on you too" Duo looked toward Quatre and Trowa. "Get the pawns guys, on the count of three. One" Wufie and Heero stood behind Duo, putting away their fight for Duo's sake. "Two" Quatre and Trowa held up there weapons, Quatre quickly going over possibilities of killing as many at once as possible. "three!" they charged.
Chapter Ten (Final battle)
I can't believe this, I get hit on the shoulder and vaguely wonder where my back up went. I see Heero from the corner of my eye, the queen charging straight for him, and to my other side I see Wufie, the phoenix going straight for him. I throw my scythe and don't watch as I run for the queen weaponless. Heero will get killed. He cant even see her he's so busy with the other bishop. I run in front of him. Oh god this hurts. I slide off her sword, feeling the blood running down my cheek, I grab her sword while she stands in shock and run her through. Oh god this hurts.
Quatre stopped as he heard Heero scream. He turned, watching the pawns he had been fighting turn to dust and float away. He saw Wufie staring into space with Duo's bloody scythe in hand, then he saw Heero. Rocking over the lifeless body of... oh god. Trowa and Quatre slowly made their way to Duo, Wufie already running through the debris to reach the two pilots. Duo stared up breathing hitched. He smiled weekly at Heero. "Ohh... baby don't cry" he whispered and Heero kissed him gently. "I love you" Heero whispered and Duo smiled. "Take my hair tie Heero... tie it around the scythe" he whispered. Heero took the ribbon from Duo's messy hair and tied it around the scythe Wufie handed him. "I love you" Duo whispered. "Hey I think its a fitting grave stone" he whispered looking at the scythe and trying to smile. "I love you Heero" he whispered before taking his last hitching breath.
Wufie walked off, turning his back to Duo, had the braided boy not thrown his scythe to save him, he could have defended himself from the red queen. He had failed. He had failed to protect Duo. He had failed. He fell to the ground. Faintly hearing a howl that sounded neither human nor animal coming from Heero. He was blacking out and he knew it. As the world got blurry he welcomed unconsciousness. He had failed both Nataku and Shinigami. Heero was letting himself cry for the first time in his life. He was screaming and all around going out of his mind. It was his fault Duo was dead. The pain was too much he passed out, his body laying beside Duo's.
Chapter Last (Owari)
I open my eyes tentatively. It's too bright in this stupid bedroom. I look over at the Alice book I was supposed to read and then at the computer I was supposed to have typed my report on, the box saying "you won" was on the display screen for the electronic chess game. I smirked lightly and stood stretching. My stomach grumbled. "Hungry" I said to no one but myself as I left the room.
Quatre was about to chop up some pork for breakfast but as he pulled the butcher knife from its rack, found one of Duo's silly hair ribbons tied to it. He shrugged and left it on the counter. Trowa on the other hand was trying to clean a rather nasty spot of blood from his turtleneck, the only problem was he didn't remember how it got there.
Wufie awoke with a start, and went to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror for awhile before brushing his teeth. He mumbled something about "not being gay" before washing out his mouth.
Heero sat in his room, barely awake yet, listening to the shower turn on in the bathroom he shared with Duo. He shivered lightly. Suppressing the urge to go in there himself. He gave up and went to the door opening it a crack and being welcomed by steam. "Maxwell?... Duo?" he asked hesitantly. Duo stuck his head out of the shower, hair streaming down his shoulders, and teasing Heero so badly that he almost reached out despite himself. "Yeah Heero?" Duo asked watching his pale partner. "I... I just wanted to make sure you were ok, hurry up school starts in an hour" he said hastily before turning. "Heero?" Duo asked and Heero obediently halted. "You ok?" he asked and Heero leaned against the door frame and smiled against it. "Yeah I'm fine" he said truthfully, assured that Duo was alive and well. "Your not acting normal..." Duo drew off, his hand drifting across his lips, and causing a blush to work it way down his face to his neck. Heero smirked against the frame. "You, you know... I mean you don't normally ask me if I'm ok" Duo said. Heero turned to him. "I don't normally... I should... your my best friend. Thank you Duo" Heero said glancing at Duo longingly. Duo looked at him smiling hesitantly "for what?" he asked and Heero smiled at him brightly, Duo grinned for no reason other then the look on Heero's face, "For everything braided baka" and left closing the door securely. Duo closed his shower curtain and leaned against the tile wall. "Thank you too Heero... you don't know it but you made my day, my life probably" Duo smirked.
Heero leaned against the bathroom door and sighed. "You don't know how much you make me happy. I could die happy when you smile at me" Heero shrugged off his longing and gathered clothes for his own shower. "I bet I don't do this either" he said before busting into the bathroom again. "Hey Duo what would happen if I flushed the toilet?" snicker, grin, flush.
Notes: Contains slash... and hints of rape. Lots of blood too.
Chapter One (Beginnings)
One would imagine that they wouldn't know when they'd gone insane. But as for me I knew, I knew the exact moment, it was when I was sitting there, I had been talking to my silent companion for a long amount of time, just trying to keep up a conversation that didn't exist. When I started to see the mirror's surface spread out like water. It was just gentle at first, my own reflection, rippling from one corner, slowly, so slowly, to the next. I blinked my eyes a few times and when all possible solutions had failed I decided I'd finally lost the last marble I was holding on to. At first all I could do was giggle, then I laughed, my companion looking over at me in alarm. "Hey Tro... I've lost my marbles" I stated and the look he gave me made me laugh more, the look was as if to say "yes I see that" but no words were expressed, just like Trowa. The silent one. I got up, going to the mirror, then teetering precociously on the edge of the hearth, the cool stone fire place beneath me. I heard Wufie come in and asked him if he'd ever seen the matrix. He surprised me with his affirmative answer, adopting Heero's affinity for calling me baka and trying to pull me off the high shelf, the mirror was large enough though, if I fell toward it, I wondered briefly if I'd fall in. "Maxwell... demon child get off the fireplace before you bust your skull" I laughed at Wu-man's preposterous statement. Me the god of death? Loose his balance, as soon as I thought of this though, my balance shifted from Wufie's tugging and I went head first into the mirror. But instead of being cut open, and shatters of glass being stuck out of my forehead, all I felt was a warm sticky gooey, all encompassing sensation. I smiled and let myself fall through completely. And this is what happened...
Wufie stared in utter shock, his hand still griping Duo's hair ribbon, the last thing he had been able to grab hold of. Trowa stood up and walked cautiously toward the mirror as if it would eat him. "Where did the baka go?" Wufie asked in bewilderment. Trowa suddenly got a very worried expression on his non-expression showing face, in other words his mouth twitched into a frown. Wufie suddenly decided there were worse things to worry about then the mirror and Duo's sudden disappearance. Like how they were going to tell Heero that they had just lost his partner to the sitting room mirror. Wufie grimaced as he heard Heero's outraged cry for Duo. Why did the baka have to chose now to fall into a bloody mirror, now when he had just replaced all of Heero's black spandex with pink spandex.
Duo stood in front of another mirror now, giggling slightly as he watched Wufie and Trowa look so utterly clue less. Maybe this was what it was like being in someone's mind. He looked around and laughed demonically. Blood splattered the walls of the sitting room, he would have been sad but he'd always known his mind would have been one bloody mess. He wondered where he kept the parts about Heero. But as he was heading out the door he noticed something on a table. A long, long butcher knife with fresh blood gleaming on the tip. He picked it up and was startled for a second. This knife was familiar, familiar in some odd way. He grasped his hand around the cool metal handle and watched as blood dripped down the blade and slicked across his white knuckled hand. He grinned a Shinigami grin and left. His hair flowing around him in long ringlets because Wufie had so rudely taken his hair band. Now to return himself back to sanity, first things first, deal with your demons.
Heero glared at Wufie, holding the small stain hair tie between trembling fingers. "You actually expect me to believe this crock of shit, where is the stupid baka, Trowa? Why are you all protecting him, you know better then to believe I would seriously hurt him don't you?" Heero asked now seriously worried about Duo, almost enough to forget about the pink shorts tormenting his bedroom. "Is he hurt" for a second Heero's real emotions showed through an his worry was full blown. Wufie paled, and Trowa gulped. "Where is he? Is he hurt" Heero voice was panicky almost, but all other signs were tightly under his perfect soldier mask. "He... he fell into the mirror Yuy, I swear, Trowa saw him do it to. I was trying to get him off the hearth, and he just sort of... well fell... through it, almost like it was a window" Wufie said and turned quickly to see Quatre walk in the room. Quatre looked more then a little worried and soon spotted the source of his confusing onslaught of feelings. "What happened?" he asked targeting Heero as the feeling of despair. Wufie quickly explained it and Heero was a little unnerved at the blonde one's display of empathy, he was already on the edge because of his partners disappearance, he didn't need the blonde peering into his emotions over it. "What?" Quatre looked at skeptic as Heero had been but quickly let off, knowing the two pilots would never lie to him. "Um ok... so Duo feel through the mirror" Quatre said trying to clarify his jumbled thoughts, but no one was paying any attention. Because it was happening again, the rippling, slowly going from one corner to another. Before anyone could say anything Heero was on the hearth, curiously putting his hand threw the liquid like surface. "Yuy? What are you doing?" Wufie asked slightly panicked. "I'm going to get my partner" he replied his arm and legs already through. "YUY!! Your supposed to be reasonable! Yuy!" Wufie was vainly screaming at the surface of the now normal looking mirror. "Fool" he said and sighed turning to the other two pilots. "Now what do we do?" he asked and Quatre looked at the again flickering surface. "Well we go after them of course" the blonde one said and dragged Trowa's tall lanky form to the hearth. Before Wufie could voice his complaint about this development though the short blonde pilot was through the mirror, his taller unibanged friend following faithfully after. Wufie stood there for a few minutes before following grumbling about injustice and dishonor.
Heero had hit the ground ready to fight, gun in hand. and was quite surprised to see his gun, well it wasn't his gun. He looked at his clothing and wasn't that surprised to see it had changed as well. Long trench coat, high collared tunic, and a pair of form fitting black pants, all in a midnight black. Heero looked at his clothing and briefly wondered why the mirror had made him look good. Heero had never cared about his appearance, it wasn't a necessity for any mission, so why should he worry about it. He checked to make sure his new gun was loaded, and decided he liked the feel of it enough to keep it. It was an old fashioned pistol, of which he had only seen its kind in antique shops that Duo had dragged him into. He suddenly focused on his reason for being here, recover 02 safely and find way out. He tried the mirror briefly, not at all surprised to see it was nothing more then the looking glass he had believed it to be from the other side. He sighed, that wasn't going to be a way out any time soon. He quickly picked up Duo's trail and followed the braided baka's trail out of the morbid mimic of the sitting room.
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufie tumbled out of the looking glass. Each new pair of eyes, slow to adjust to the hellish condition. "Oh god..." Quatre said, pink tinted skin turning white as he started to sense the death and pain around them "Where are we?". Trowa finished his mental walk through of the room, his analysis done before Quatre had finished talking. Wufie, thankful that before all this had happened he had been going to practice his sword, pulled out his long bladed katana and took a fighting posture that was natural to his body. Trowa sighed and put a hand on Quatre's shoulder. "They went that way" Trowa answered, pointing at the only door they had in the room. But before they could follow there trail. A small creature approached them. Looking odd, deformed, ugly. Its head was two sizes to small, and its size was that of a German shepherd but its body was that of a rat. Its tail curved up and had a hideous snake at the end. Quatre was staring at it in fear, and before anyone had the nerves to react to its presence, Wufie did the best thing he thought possible. He chopped off its head. Quatre looked mortified at the justice loving Chinese. "It didn't do anything to us! Why did you kill it?!" Quatre looked at the dead creature in sympathy. Wufie stared at him onyx eyes blinking in confusion. "Winner, you must have sensed the evil in that creature, it was foul, it had to be exterminated" Wufie answered, cleaning the blood from his sword, by wiping it on a dusty counterpart of the table cloth of their sitting parlor. Quatre looked uncertain for a minute remembering the evil vibe the beast had given, "but you should have given it a chance". "Not everything needs to be given a chance" Wufie answered and then left. But as he walked through the door way, he saw his clothing change, his normal clean white pants, and dark purple shirt, turned black, all black. He shook his head in confusion and turned to see what the other looked like. If it was only him. Quatre was walking out the door way when his pink shirt and purple vest decided to elongate themselves. His shirt now was untucked, reaching mid thigh, his vest reached the ground though. Both were shaded to dark black, and his khaki pants turned black as well. He gulped when a sickle fell in front of him. Wufie smirked and did what he thought Duo would have done, he missed his friend greatly... "Allah is great hu Winner?" he asked and Quatre shot him a weak smile. Trowa walked through to find his clothes change as well, a long trench coat was added to his normal pants and turtle neck. The group wasn't surprised to see it turn black, and when the tommy gun fell from thin air Trowa grabbed it with ease. "Oh but I hope we wont need these" Quatre said motioning toward the weapons that they had been provided with. Trowa managed a smile to comfort his friend and off they were following the trail of Duo and Heero.
Chapter Two (Solo)
You know what? I miss my hair tie... It keeps my hair out of my eyes, keeps it from getting in blood, and keeps bits of flesh and tissues from getting stuck in it. I hate not having it. I know I'm insane now, talking venus fly traps are not a sane thing to have happen to one when walking through a garden. But I suppose I should have ignored it, and I don't think it should have bled when I stabbed it. I know what you're going to say stabbing a plant that had done nothing to you is rude, but it had you see, it had eaten my apron front, and I wanted it back, maybe its a bit stained... but I like the color red, and soon it will turn to deep red, then black so why should it matter? I didn't think plants screamed either, its such a new take on weeding a garden. Pesticides must be like chemical warfare I suppose. But really the rose right in the middle, that was beautiful, so big, red, and the voice of an angel. That's why I almost got eaten by that monster of a plant. I was going to listen to her, she was calling for me. I wanted to see her. Talk to her. But then I killed the trap. She disappeared. Perhaps she wasn't a flower at all. There are strange pathways in the garden, somehow when I wasn't looking the garden must have turned into a forest, I'm not sure how but it did. So the clearings are what I follow now, there are long tread lines in the dirty path that make me think this is a long before abandoned road. Maybe its a path of thought I hadn't taken for a long time. Well as long as it didn't lead to a bad memory I think it'll be all right to follow it. Oh... look a clearing... maybe there is someone there, oh there is!
Heero sighed, why had Duo wandered into a forest? He wiped more blood from his clothing and vaguely wished for a sword. He tended to his bloodied arm and was surprised to see a sword sticking straight out of the ground in front of him. He almost looked up and thanked a god he didn't believe in. But then shook his head and pulled the sword from the ground, trudging on. He quickly came to a corpse he knew was not of his doing. He smiled gently thinking of Duo but quickly his sensitive eyes caught a movement in the trees beside the clearing, and then yet another on the opposite side, he quickly thought about the food chain, Duo had made food, the things beside him wanted it... shit Duo was probably being followed by now and not even aware of it. He waited for the beasts to come out of hiding, and soon was gifted with the presence of foul looking creatures, with small beady eyes, and features like a mutated retched ostrich. He stared at them, walking farther down the path calmly. They watched him go waiting till he was around a bend in the road before overtaking the corpse of whatever beast Duo had killed. Heero found himself face to face with a very large, very disgusting plant, and suddenly wished very much to be back with the ostrich things. He was prepared to slash it in half, his finger resting on the trigger when he found that the thing didn't move. He kicked the roots of the creature and was rewarded with no response. He breathed in shakily, not even noticing his halting breath. Then continued the way the blood led. He worried that if he didn't find Duo soon, then he'd find him dead.
Quatre was just comprehending the atrociousness of the world they were currently inhabiting. "Its just like the road outside the safe house, I was reviewing it for possible escape plans.. but... but that is not supposed to be here..." he said pointing at the forest of tangles and thorns that Heero had followed Duo into. "Then that is where we go" Wufie said walking through a practically large mushy substance that looked unerringly red. "Wufie I think you just walked through someone..." Quatre said pale skin turning even paler as he stepped gingerly over the bloody mass. Trowa followed and sighed as he shot something hobbling toward them at an alarming rate. "I'll pray for them later" Wufie said chopping at the thing that was following afore mentioned target practice used creature. "When I find Maxwell I'm going to chop off that braid and shove it so far-" "language Chang" Quatre scolded but Wufie was too busy chopping up something that was trying to strangle him from a tree. "Anyway I don't think its Duo's fault, You know he just curious, like a cute little kitten" Quatre stuck up for his braided friend, ever the mediator. "I don't care, I'm about to take its ninth life" Wufie said and Quatre rushed to keep up with him. Trowa following closely behind the blonde boy's back.
Duo had wandered into someone all right. A large, gigantic caterpillar. It sat on the largest mushroom Duo had ever seen. This thing must be as big as a house, Duo briefly wanted to sing mothra in a high pitched voice but decided against it. The large caterpillar beckoned him over and Duo obeyed, sitting nicely on a much smaller mushroom, beside the house sized caterpillar. "I'm dying" the insect stated and Duo tilted his head sadly. "Why?" he asked innocent confusion flitting across his boyish features. He could see no wounds on the large insects bright teal surface. "But your so beautiful, you cant die" Duo stated beautiful innocence his souls only companion. "I'm dying because the soul of this world is contaminated, a dark, evil thing is killing all good, and what arises from the corpses are monsters, or sometimes thing change all together. My friend... the dear sparrow... she turned into a dark phoenix, killing everything her bright feathers touched, she touched me and now I die to, like all my friends" The caterpillar said, his breathing, for a lack of better words, dying. Duo walked up to the caterpillar taking one of its many hands gently and squeezed it in his. The large caterpillar smiled down at him and took its last breath. Duo watched from his mushroom, as the caterpillar's beautiful teal and purple body split open, watched the black, demonic butterfly emerge, but before the butterfly could take flight he stabbed it straight in the torso, blood oozing over his bare arms as he struck it again. He waited for it to die, and then went back to his mushroom seat. He sat his face a pale color. "I'm sorry friend...".
Heero was just breaking through into the clearing when he smelled death. He shivered as he totally broke through, but he could not hide his joy at seeing Duo on the mushroom. He ran forward slowing when he didn't see Duo respond. He walked up carefully saying Duo's name tentatively and was surprised when he suddenly had Duo in his arms. He held Duo as the beautiful boy sobbed, whispering assurances and knowing he never wanted this feeling to end, even if he didn't know why Duo was crying, or where they were.
Chapter Three (First Kiss)
Oh god Heero... Heero do you know what I've done? "I killed them all didn't I". "What?" he asks and I know I shouldn't feel this heaviness at him not knowing who I speak of. "I killed my family didn't I? Just because I was happy death didn't like it, death took them all away... just like here" I sob on his shoulder because I know he too will be gone one day, because I've already tried so hard not to love him. "Duo... what are you talking about?" I feel even heavier now, he sits me on the mushroom, my imaginary mushroom and rubs my cheek with his thumb, I lean into his touch against my better judgment because it feels good, and comforting, and right. He holds me closely and now I've stopped crying and just stare blankly at his buttons. Silver small buttons. "Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, Solo" It was my fault. He shushes me, Heero shushes me. He kisses my ear, he Heero kissed my ear. "Its not your fault" Now I know I'm insane, Heero kissed me, kissed me deeply. He... he kissed my lips and bit at my jaw... I... I don't know what's going on anymore...
Heero couldn't process what he was doing, he just wanted to comfort Duo. He wanted to make it ok, make whatever it was ok so Duo wouldn't cry. So he kissed him. He figured if Duo didn't like him he'd be mad, and anything was better then sad. Heero could deal with the braided boy's hate, but when the violet eyes were filled with tears he couldn't handle it. He pulled away, nipping lightly at Duo's jaw. His eyes shut, waiting for Duo to slap him, or punch him. "Heero?" he heard Duo's voice ask, but not its usual happy self, the voice was small wavering. "I'm scared" Duo whispered and Heero wrapped his arms tighter around his braided partner. "Don't be afraid Duo... I wont let anything hurt you" 'unless it kills me before I get the chance' Heero thought. A shrill cry went out in the night and Duo looked up from Heero's protective grasp toward the gloomy sky. "The phoenix" he whispered "Heero we have to leave here now" he cried, dragging Heero from the clearing toward the trees where it was harder for large creatures to hide. "What's going on Duo?" Heero asked trying to make since of what was going on. "Everything was good... well think of it this way... I was happy... very very happy, and then everything I loved was ripped away from me, and slowly very slowly, everything went dead inside of me... this this is the dead part Heero... my soul is dying. So everything else is. I thought I was insane... maybe I am... maybe... why else would you kiss me" Duo stopped realizing he'd started rambling. "Because I wanted to... If you were insane wouldn't you have decided on something less dressy to wear?" Heero answered the question Duo hadn't meant to ask. Duo looked down at his blood stained dress. "I guess so..." he said and looked up at Heero once more his face in an adorable look of confusion. "If we never get out of your mind Duo... If it's true what you said, that your dying... your soul is dying... Then we will have to reverse the effects" Heero said and Duo got even more confused. "How Heero?" Duo asked and Heero let him go a little gathering up his slightly bloody hair in his hand and braiding it clumsily then tying it with the ribbon he still had. "My ribbon" Duo smiled. "We make you happy Duo, we kill whatever is harming your soul, depression I guess" Heero laughed slightly and Duo looked at him surprised. "You laughed" he said and Heero smiled. "You never laugh... you never smile" Duo stated again looking adorably confused. "I don't think I do this either" Heero said taking Duo's chin in his hand and kissing him passionately. Hey, he figured, he got away with it before, why not again?
Wufie was currently making a list, a very long list of ways to kill Duo Maxwell. He was hot, covered with blood, and currently tired of listening to Quatre talking. "Shut up... unless you can say something about a quicker way to find Duo... you can just shut up" he snapped. Quatre looked at him hurt then brightened up a bit. Wufie rolled his eyes. "Well actually, I just thought I was confused but..." Wufie cut him off "what? You know where Maxwell is?" Wufie asked hope breaching the surface. He prayed to Nataku the blonde one had an answer. "No... well yes... but no..." he said and Wufie looked at him like he himself had gone insane too. "Well... Duo is... well all around us guys... he... he is this place I think" he said and Wufie arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "You see I think we've wandered into his psyche" Quatre completed. Wufie looked to Trowa incredulously, but the unibanged one had unswerving faith in the phycholy happy blonde. "Oh god... your all insane" with this Wufie turned around to almost run smack dab into Duo's violet eyes... just the eyes, and that unnerving Shinigami grin. Wufie managed to say something in Chinese about demons before fainting into a heap. Quatre jumped over Wufie's limp body and shook the hand that appeared in thin air. "Hi" he said happily, his hunch was correct. "Hi" the mouth spoke, which proved to be connected to a body that looked surprisingly like Duo's, just without the priest frock, and in a weird outfit of purple and teal stripes. The figure was also surprisingly chibi. "What's your name?" he asked and the chibi Duo, which proved to be neko too, smiled. "I'm Duo" it answered and Quatre smiled again. "I'm Quatre" Trowa looked at Quatre with a blank face, but if you were Quatre, it was as if to say, Have you gone daft? Duo knows you. But Quatre only smiled as the chibi-neko-Duo took his hand, and floating through the air, led him from the woods. Trowa sighed and picked up Wufie following his blonde partner faithfully.
When Wufie regained consciousness it was to find himself in a train car, he briefly wondered what a train car was doing in Duo's psyche but chalked it all up to it being the baka psyche, it was bound to be more messed up then most peoples. Quatre was staring out the window scowling and Trowa was looking slightly afraid of the small figure that was currently tying Wufie's shoelaces together. As Wufie took this all in, it took him a double take to realize what the little Duo midget was doing. "STOP IT" he bellowed and the poor purple eyed chibi-neko hid right behind Quatre's leg. Quatre immediately glared at Wufie and got that "you fucking retard" look on his face. "He is just a child Wufie, how could you yell at him?!" Quatre picked up the monstrous little Duo thing. But as Wufie looked at it with its "I'm the puppy you just kicked and threw out a window" look, he gave up. "I'm sorry Maxwell" he said and the violet eyes looked blank. "Whose Maxwell?" It asked and Wufie looked at it mimicking the blank look. "He doesn't know about his last name yet, this is "little" Duo, as in young "never seen a gundam before" Duo" Quatre explained. Wufie still looked blank but shrugged. "Sorry Duo" he said and before he could lean down to retie his shoelaces he had a bundle of violet and teal and chestnut in his arms. "Iz ok" came the garbled reply. Wufie melted.
Heero looked up from the top of Duo's hair to see a train, well coming out of no where. Duo laughed slightly, still on the verge of loosing himself further into this world. The only thing keeping him pinned down was Heero's hand, tightly wrapped around his own. They both had the same thought at once and started running toward the train. Together they jumped on the back, speed and grace just as in battle. Heero opened the back door as Duo clumsily sharpened his blade on the metal railing. Heero opened the door to come face to face with, well Duo. When Duo turned from where he was sharpening he saw, well he saw himself. A tiny bit shorter, wearing his normal priest garb, but, but he was, well he was practically sticking his tongue down Heero's throat. Duo, very confused, and a little jealous, hit, well he hit himself over the back of the head. Heero watched the "other" Duo slide to the floor in a daze. "Whoa" he said simply and Duo grunted something and dragged Heero farther into the train. Duo was not very happy at this current moment, it wasn't Heero's fault, but... "It's not the same" Heero suddenly said, and Duo stopped abruptly to look at him. "What?" he asked his head tilting to the side. Heero bridged the gap between them, not able to help the fact that he was a very horny teenager. "This..." he said before claiming Duo's mouth with his own. He slipped his hand to the nape of Duo's neck, and ran his other hand down Duo's spine. Duo moaned, his eyes were closed tight but if they had been open you could have watched them glaze over with lust. Well he wasn't exactly mad any more.
Quatre looked up from the window toward the door leading to the walkway in the train. "Did anyone hear that?" he asked. Trowa got up and opened the door. Suddenly laying on the floor looking very shocked was Duo, and right on top of him, in a very compromising position was Heero. Wufie suppressed the urge to snicker at the situation, but then lost his seat mate when the chibi-neko-Duo, flew in between the two and snuggled on Duo's chest. Heero looked down at it. "What is this?" he asked arching an eyebrow and two sets of clear violet eyes rose to look up at him. Just like Wufie, he melted. Wufie helped Heero up and Heero in turn helped both chibi-neko and the original Duo up. "This is me... as a little kid... really little" Duo answered. "Its his child hood" Quatre supported him. "What happened from there?" Wufie asked and Duo whirled around to him practically spitting "Nothing! I'm fine" ,before he could lunge at Wufie Heero had grabbed his arm. He turned infuriated but met beautiful blue eyes. He stopped "Gomen Wufie... I'm on edge" Duo answered. Wufie looked out the window for a second, to feel anything but the waves of love that were so obviously being shared between the American and Japanese pilots. "Yeah I can see that" because what met his eyes was, well a very large cliff, following right beside them. "Were nearing the 'vide" came chibi-neko-Duo's response. "What divide?" Quatre asked, but this time Duo spoke up. "Between childhood... and adulthood" Duo said shivering slightly, he knew exactly what came ahead, and he wanted nothing more then to go home right now.
Chapter Four (Growing Up)
One day when I have enough time to think about it, maybe I'll wonder when Heero started feeling this way, whether he was just a dream or was real. Whether the hand on my back, or his fingers entwined with mine was just wishful dreaming. Why he kisses so passionately? Why he likes me? I watched the divide, the cliff breaking, pieces falling from the tracks. I could feel Heero's hand, warm, hot almost on my back. His hand almost low enough to be on my hip instead. I looked from one companion to the next. Sweet, cute little Quatre my mother hen, Trowa his rooster. They'd love seeing what I think about them, and they soon would. I don't know where the doubt came from, but I don't want Heero to see what I think about him. I know he probably wont care, I have more chance now then I ever had before, what with his sexual like for me. But I worry if its just that, just sexual. Because I do love Heero. He's my best friend. My... well my everything. I look briefly at Wufie, and I can almost sense something wrong with him, but when his eyes meet mine he just looks worried, we all look worried, even Trowa looks slightly worried. None of them really want to know what happened to me. To make me manic, to make me depressed. To make me what I was from that young version sitting on Quatre's shoulder. Except when I look up into Heero's eyes, that is when I see curiosity, compassion, wanting. Almost like he wants to be a part of me. I believe I'm reading too much into Heero's eyes. Its easy to do I guess, I almost saw love in there once. Almost...
Quatre looked at Duo, his worry intensified by the other boys emotions. But then he looked at Heero, and somehow knew they'd be all right. Duo couldn't do this alone, couldn't face the ghost's of this part of his past without someone to comfort him. Quatre, cared, Quatre would sacrifice so much for his friends. But his sensitive soul wasn't ready to battle demons the size of Duo's. Heero glanced out the window, his arm circling around Duo's waist. The other hand laying limply to his side with his sword gripped tightly in it. His gun was tucked into the back of his shirt, hidden by the trench coat. He had been the only one other then Wufie to bring a weapon, he hopped it would come in handy. He could slightly feel the shaking of Duo's form and worried whether or not his small partner would be able to handle the things ahead. He'd promised to protect Duo, but he didn't know whether or not he could protect his sanity. Wufie looked up at the chibi-neko-Duo, and suddenly felt an pang of jealously. He wanted to comfort Duo, to be his best friend. Heero was an insensitive bastard, he could have done everything Heero had, and more. But when he decided to maybe challenge Heero's role, he looked once at them and decided here was not the place to do it in.
When the train finally stopped chibi-neko-Duo faded away. Much to Wufie's sorrow, it was fun to listen to young Duo's speech. If he didn't forget a letter in a word, he left the word out all together. They passed over a great cavernous drop off, and the train started blowing from side to side like a sky scrapper in a hurricane. Just when Quatre thought he was going to loose his breakfast they got to the other side. The train came to a dead stop and each pilot got out taking there bearings. "Duo do you know where we are?" Quatre asked, staring up at a huge warehouse, and suddenly realized, if he was the age of the chibi Duo, about seven, this would be how a warehouse would appear. "Ye... yes" Duo answered, and quickly found Heero's trench coat around his shoulders. He put it on clumsily not tearing his gaze from the building once. It was dilapidated, old, the gloom surrounding them didn't help much. This place was in a permanent state of gloom. Duo's violet eyes were wide with fear, and at first no one else saw what he started running after. But immediately Heero ran after him. Duo screamed at the apparition. It was another version of himself, about a year younger then the chibi on the train. Duo screamed for it to stop, but by the time he got to it, the apparition had disappeared. He fell to the ground sobbing, and the other pilots stayed back while Heero comforted him. "What happened here Duo?" he whispered, but Duo shook his head, his face buried against Heero's chest. Heero glared up at the building for it to have caused Duo so much sorrow. "Don't make me go in there" Duo whispered, and suddenly Heero saw what Duo had been the first to notice, there was no possible way around this building. They had to go through it to go on.
"No we are not going to split up again" Quatre stated firmly, he would not chance loosing the other two pilots again. "I will be with him, he needs to get through... this... alone. You being there will mortify him, he's scared enough, leave us to go through it first, when we find the door way we will come back for you" Heero said, his voice making the decision final. Quatre hated it. "If your not back in an hour we're coming through. "How are you going to tell what time it is?" Heero asked. Quatre held up his watch and Heero turned it toward his face. True to Heero's statement, the watch was stopped, directly on 2:59 am. "When we get wherever were going I think we will have exactly a minute to do whatever needs to be done. Because it was only seven p.m. when I went though the mirror" Heero answered. They knew it couldn't have been that long since they got in. Plus Wufie's watch showed seconds, it was directly stopped on the second before the minute would change. Wufie looked angrily at Duo, who stood aloof staring at the building, waiting for Heero to return. Wufie could have supported Duo, whatever it was in there he could have handled. But no the asshole Japanese got to. Duo needed someone more sensitive, but with Wufie's jealousy clouding his judgment he didn't see exactly how supporting Heero was being. Quatre was disturbed by Wufie's emotions. Why would he be jealous? Who would he be jealous of? Well he guessed it was Heero. Suddenly it all made since. As he watched Duo and Heero walk in the warehouse together. Yes Duo was in love with Heero, it was so obvious, and Heero loved him in return, but the two were too stupid to ever tell each other. But then there was Wufie, Quatre wanted to slap himself for not seeing it. Wufie had a crush on Duo, he was jealous of Heero, because Heero was Duo's only want. Trowa looked at him momentarily nodding his agreement.
Chapter Five (Jealousy)
I don't want to go in there, never want to go in there again. But I cant tell Heero I'm afraid... I already used up that privilege for today. Maybe I should warn Heero of what he might see. I look down and am not that surprised to see a very loose turtle neck sweater, and another very loose pair of khaki slacks. Heero looks at my clothing and raises an eyebrow. Should I tell him about that day? No... maybe it wont happen. Maybe I'll get through this without it happening again. Then I hear the morning dove, it will happen, its already started. I wish I could run away while its still possible. We come to the hallway's end. "You should go left, I'll go right" I say because I went right that day, and I never want anyone to see what happened. But Heero just looks at me. "We'll both go right" he answers an unasked question, unasked because I was too afraid to ask for help. I almost want to kiss him, but then again I want to scream at him and make him go left. So down the hallway we go, and I count the doors, waiting for it to happen. Suddenly I'm grabbed, straight from Heero's grasp. Oh god... its happening again.
Quatre heard the scream, it echoed in his mind. Trowa grabbed him before he could hit the ground. But then there was pain, he blacked out. It was a unanimous decision between Trowa and Wufie to get there asses in there now. Trowa lifted Quatre and the two boys were running through the door way.
Heero was panicking, suddenly the door had disappeared. He stopped in his tracks and listened, hearing muffled screams from the floor above, he ran to the end of the corridor, his heart pounding, he had promised Duo, he would not break his promise. He took four steps at a time, practically flying up the steps. He heard the screams louder now, and knew, even through the terror the voice possessed, that the voice was Duo's. Heero kicked open the door and before his mind had even processed his surrounding he was enraged, infuriated.
Quatre regained his senses as they were running up the stairs. He was instantly panicking. "We have to find Duo now!" he cried and Trowa nodded. Wufie was enraged, he knew he could have protected Duo better then Heero. Wufie was already too late though. Heero had already gotten there by the sound of things getting shot and ripped apart.
Heero had stalked forward, ripping a very tall boy from the top of Duo and throwing him clear through the wall of the flimsy room. He slashed the other boy through with his sword, and when he went to retrieve the one he'd thrown through the wall, he gutted him. He walked slowly to Duo, his adrenaline dying, and just worry for Duo surfacing. "are you ok" he whispered. His fingers ghosting across Duo's cheek. Duo opened his eyes and threw himself at Heero, wrapping his arms around Heero's chest and sobbing again. Heero kissed Duo's forehead, ran his hand over the beautiful pilots back. "Shh... I promise you'll be all right" he whispered. Heero had his back to the door, so when Wufie struck him hard on the back he just doubled over, falling to the ground in pain, he whirled around, his gun cocked and pointed straight at Wufie's head. "How dare you touch him after you almost made this happen to him" Wufie screamed, but before he could hit Heero again was slapped, very hard across the face. Duo stood there, khaki pants torn, shirt ripped too badly to be salvaged, his hand slightly stinging from the harsh impact to Wufie's face. He dropped beside Heero and made sure his partner was all right. Wufie stood there in shock for numerous seconds. Quatre too dropped his jaw in shock. "Heero... are you all right? Heero?" Duo sounded like he was going to have a nervous break down. Heero looked up at Duo, blue eyes filtering out there pain from Wufie's blow. "I'm fine" he whispered reassuringly, and Duo gently hugged him, hiding his face in the crook of Heero's neck. As much as Heero wanted to deck Wufie for hitting him, he also wanted to thank him, he had made Duo stop crying. He leaned down and kissed Duo gently, almost as much to hear Wufie jealously stomp from the room as to just have Duo beside him. He finished, the kiss almost numbing away the pain that had shot all the way down his spine. He stood and put his trench coat back on Duo, it had been thrown onto the floor, or maybe it had just floated off.
Quatre had fought the urge to follow Wufie, but it had won, he had dragged Trowa from the room and followed Wufie's figure that was storming through the warehouse. When he caught up to the enraged Chinese he made him stop. "Take a few deep breaths Wufie, let it out" he said and the Chinese pilot proceeded to let it out on a wall, his katana turning it into slivers. Quatre was worried about the other two but new better then to think Heero would let anything happen to Duo. "He cares nothing for him as I do" Wufie screamed. Now this made Quatre mad for some reason, he found his hand slamming across Wufie's face. "You have no idea how much Heero loves him Wufie. I think maybe before you start making judgments you should think about how stupid they sound" Quatre said and walked away. His silent partner yet again following faithfully.
"This... was a memory wasn't it?" Heero asked, wanting to make sure that it wasn't a nightmare or something. Duo nodded. Heero understood the implications. Without Heero there much worse had happened to Duo then having his clothing torn. He brought Duo tight into his arms and rocked him gently, the only form of comfort he could think of. "Its all right Duo... it will never happen again" he whispered and felt Duo shiver in his embrace and clutch to him tighter. He picked Duo up and carried him down the stairs, meeting up with Quatre and Trowa. He didn't even want to know where Wufie was right now, so when they found the door way he looked to the other two. "Wait for Wufie then follow our path. If he doesn't come out in the next hour just start following our path. We don't have the time to stop everything and look for him." Heero said, putting Duo down but looking at him wantingly for a few seconds before looking back to his other fellow pilots. "Be careful guys" Quatre said and Heero nodded, turning to Duo and seeing that he was dressed in his priest garb. He smiled gently at the braided boy and tugged on said braid in a familiar friendly way. Duo smiled at him nervously. Once more Duo and Heero set off on there own. "God I hope they'll be ok" Quatre whispered.
Wufie was currently far ahead of Heero and Duo on the path. If Duo didn't want his help then he'd force it on him. He'd make Duo take his help. Because he knew it was much more then Heero could handle, these things that they were all about to face, what Wufie didn't understand though was maybe he wasn't enough to handle it either.
Chapter Six (Past come to haunt you?)
Maybe I should warn him "Heero..." no... I cant talk about it... "Yes Duo?" his hand tightens around mine. I smile nervously, but am reassured in the most vague way. "Some of this stuff... its... bad" I say, not able to say much more. He nods to me in understanding. If Heero loved me at all respected me at all, I was about to loose all of that. Oh god please don't let Heero see this happening. We take a curve, the road we are on twists and I can see what's up there before Heero does. Because I know what it is. Its the corner of a street, it was on L2 when I was little. There leaning against the street lamp, playing with his torn coat is me. But what surprises me is the much taller figure beside me. It's Wufie. What the hell is he doing?! I run and I can hear Heero running behind me.
Wufie was seriously starting to doubt his ability to handle the situation. Duo had never told him, never told any of them... about this part of his past. Violet eyes stared up at him. Haunting in the hurt they held, the maturity of eyes that young shook Wufie to his very core. He felt someone stop beside him and looked up from young to old. He tilted his head as he understood the emotion warring with Duo's features was rage. When he looked back down he could no longer see his earlier companion. He watched as Duo fell against the pole, doubling over and throwing up. Heero panicked, dropping to the ground beside Duo, and rubbing his back till the heaving stopped. "Oh... god" Duo said more to himself then god. Heero brought an arm around Duo as his American partner screamed. Wufie kneeled beside him to. No longer jealous, he understood that there was no way he could cope with Duo's problems. He was in no shape with all the problems Duo had. He didn't want to admit it, but his love just wasn't strong enough to handle Duo's past and not break. Heero rocked Duo back and forth till the braided pilot stopped crying. They stood together, and Heero wished to hell that this nagging feeling of what was going on wasn't what he thought it was. Duo leaned against the pole again. and looked at Wufie. "You know don't you" he said voice low and husky from crying. Wufie looked down ashamed and nodded. "Damn you" he whispered not really to Wufie but more to himself, he clenched his fists around the pole and wanted to pull it from the ground, run it over with a car, get rid of the memory he had tried to hide for so long.
Heero was the first to notice, the tall fat, almost egg shaped man coming toward them. He glared at the man and put a hand on Duo's shoulder protectively. Duo noticed next, his face twisting horribly to fear, his skin paling so much so that it was like porcelain. He shook like he was going into shock. Wufie pulled out his katana, as Duo's clothing changed from priest grab to a baggy black shirt and baggy blue jeans. "Oh god... oh god no" Duo whispered, unable to move he was so scared. The man was finally next to them and before Japanese or Chinese pilots could react had grabbed Duo's braid and was roughly yanking him toward a building. "What's your charge?" came a rough disgusting voice. Heero and Wufie together lunged at the man, Heero's blade cutting through the man's neck, and Wufie's cutting through his chest. As soon as the man's body hit the ground Duo's clothing changed, priest like once more. Heero dropped his sword, quickly bringing Duo into his arms. Duo didn't move, just stared at Heero's shoulder in some shock like state. "Duo... Duo please come back to me" Heero whispered into Duo's ear. Wufie stood there helplessly, he had no idea what to do. He knew no way to comfort the American. He'd never had to comfort anyone before. "Heero?" Duo's voice was small, insecure. "Yes Duo, it's me it's Heero, I promised you no one would hurt you didn't I? Your all right Duo" he whispered against Duo's neck, tears falling on pale creamy skin. "I promised you" he whispered refusing to accept the tears were his own. Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's waist and snuggled against his chest. "Thank you" he whispered. Wufie knew better then to interrupt. To say that he too had been involved in the slaying of that beast. Heero controlled his crying and stood, bringing Duo as he did so. He held Duo in his arms, never wanting to let go, but he knew they had to go on. There was more, it would kill him to see Duo being used again, but he knew there was more.
Quatre was debating whether or not right now would be a good time to kiss Trowa. He decided it wasn't. Wufie had still not shown himself and so very reluctantly they left to follow Heero and Duo down the path. Quatre sighed. This was not gonna be pretty. He didn't exactly know the extent of Duo's suffering, but they were about to head straight into it.
Chapter Seven (Suicide is painless)
Well unless we go through every single one of my bad experiences, and not just the memories that keep filtering up, well we should be out of the woods right? Oh god... I don't think I could handle that again. "Duo?" I smile slightly. I really do love Heero don't I? "Yes" we are farther ahead of Wufie, a few yards I guess. He is a bit slow. I guess finding out about me affected him. I guess Heero hasn't made the connection yet. He'll probably be as disgusted as Wufie when he does. "How much did they pay you?" he asked, well I guess he does know... oh god... "Hundred credits sometimes, depends" I said and Heero squeezed my hand. I looked at him scared and he smiled at me. "It wasn't enough, no amount of money would be enough for you" I... I think Heero was just being sweet to me. I kissed his cheek because it was the best thing I could think of. He smiled at me, and I could have died happy from that smile. It was beaming and bright and so beautiful and I'm rambling about Heero's smile which probably isn't Heero anyway but a figment of my imagination. But I don't care right now, so I smile back. So what? If I'm dreaming this is the best damn dream yet. Heero smiled at me. He, Heero smiled at me. Me. Just me.
Wufie felt like throwing up, if he had to listen to that fake sap any longer he'd shoot himself in the head with Heero's pistol, or shoot Heero in the head. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that the Japanese pilot could handle it and he Wufie, the strongest in his clan could not. But when Duo kissed the arrogant Japanese on the cheek that was the last straw, he turned around to find Quatre and Trowa, he couldn't deal with them anymore. When Duo finally remembered to check for Wufie, the Chinese boy was long gone. "Heero? Where did Wu-man go?" he asked and Heero turned around to find more of what Duo had. Nothing.
Wufie was just starting to get lost when he heard the familiar sound of Quatre's voice. He ran off to find the pilot and was very surprised to see a very large video screen in his way. On it was Quatre laughing, mothering, well being Quatre. Wufie suddenly decided this must be how Duo viewed Quatre. He looked to another screen and saw Trowa, following Quatre, and being, well being silent and Trowa like. Finally he turned a little more and saw himself. He wanted to sob. He... well he was an uptight jack ass in Duo's eyes. But he could tell that Duo still considered him his friend. He looked for the screen that showed Heero, but didn't find it, only screens with various other people he had never seen before on them. Maybe that was a good thing, he vaguely hoped. But not in any of these did he see Duo wanting them for a more then a friend... what if he did want Heero for more.
Quatre was just about to give up and sit and wait for someone to find him and Trowa, like a four year old at the mall. When he heard talking. They rounded a bend and saw a video screen. It was kinda odd, seeing a video in the middle of Duo's psyche. But as the studied it, Quatre got the gist that this was every single good thing that had ever happened to Duo, and the image that kept reoccurring the most, was, Heero. Quatre sighed and wished he could find them. Suddenly he heard whistling, kind of off pitch to be any song he knew but the more he listened the more it reminded him of a show Duo used to watch all the time. Then coming around the corner in the pathway was Duo, Black cap pulled over his violet eyes, priest garb in messy array. Quatre saw bandages going up to his elbows from his fingers. He knew Duo had a past of Suicide. He finally recognized the song Duo was humming, as the one from M*A*S*H, if his memory served him correctly, it was titled "Suicide is Painless" he gasped. "Hi" said the figure as it stopped in front of them, staring up at the video screen. "What are you doing all the way over here, I'm on the other side" came the voice from beneath the cap, something a little manic, sad about it. Violet eyes looked up into Quatre's and the pain hit the poor blonde like a freight train. "Take us there" Quatre whispered, trying not to faint under the pressure of the braided one's feelings. "God I'm always hurting people" Duo whispered, a little blood leaking through the already pink tinted bandages. "No Duo, you haven't hurt me, I'm fine" Quatre said, hugging his friend, and watching a Shinigami grin slip into place. Ever to Duo's defense were his plethora of masks. "Come on Blondie" Duo said slipping his fingers to intertwine with Quatre's and leading them from the video screen. Trowa took one last look at it before Quatre's fingers caught his own and dragged him along. If Duo was as depressed as this image portrayed, then how could he be happy at all. Duo was one of the strongest people he knew. All of his friends were strong. Especially Quatre. He struggled to hide a smile at the thought of his blonde angel but one glance at Quatre made him smile just the slightest bit. It was getting harder to hide his feelings, much harder since Quatre had entered his life. If he had a video screen in his mind he was sure it would show Quatre the most. Quatre looked at Duo, well the suicidal part of Duo he guessed. "Yes" bright violet eyes rimmed in red looked at him. "You want to know why I haven't been taken over by the darkness? Well I'm needed too much, and... well I'm too much in pain for them to notice the difference between me and... well them" Duo answered. Quatre smiled wearily.
Chapter Eight (Fantasy Takes Flight)
I wish I could make it all go away. But hey someone was bound to find out about it one day right? Heero looks at me as we walk through the ruins, still fresh in my mind. I can smell the death, blood, burned flesh. I shiver and feel only a twinge of comfort when Heero puts an arm around my shoulders. I see the chapel cross lying, slightly broken, wood sticking out at odd angles. We pick our way through the ashes. I refuse to cry, I've cried enough damn it.. But when I feel tears falling over my cheeks, I'm not very surprised. I remember them so clearly, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, everyone in the orphanage. My first home, my last home. Heero knows the story, it was in the paper enough. I'm sure all of the pilots have connected the orphanage with me. I feel his finger's ghosting against my hand, and have recognized it as a need for my fingers with his. So we twine our fingers together, and I feel protected. "It's not your fault" he whispers but I've been believing it was for too long.
Quatre followed Duo's ghostly counterpart through a swamp of sorts. "My home sweet home... depression I'd like to call it" Duo said, voice wry and humorless. Quatre shivered. "Blondie... just do me a favor... when you all get back... make me eat some chocolate chip cookies... god I love those things" Quatre smiled, unable to suppress it even if Duo's humor was just to reassure him. Quatre looked down, worried because with each step his connection to Duo, there hands grasped together, was fading. Duo suddenly stopped and turned to them. "I cant go any farther... this... this is the Heero part of my memories..." tears started to fall. "God... ya know I love him. I love him so much... But I can never be with him" Duo started but swallowed his words and tears. "Why?" Quatre asked, rubbing Duo's shoulder comfortingly. "Hey... like it maters... I'm depression remember blondie. Get out of here, before they take you over" Duo was once more smiling that strikingly heartbreaking smile, and as he turned and walked away, they could once more hear the theme song, and between whistles hear Duo's light sobbing.
Wufie was currently trudging through a dirty pathway. Then he heard whistling. Faint whistling. But it was Duo's irritating whistle. "Duo..." he said in confusion, at the bleeding but grinning version on Shinigami. "Hi Fei" he said and stopped in front of him. "Where is Heero?! Why are you bleeding?! That fool I knew he couldn't take care of you!" he started ranting when he felt Duo's hand cover his mouth. "Hey Fei... tell Heero I love him... we're that way" Duo said and kissed him lightly before disappearing. Wufie brought his hands up to meet air. "Damn it." he said "kissama" he added, more to himself then the ghost Duo. He walked ahead, remembering the kiss. Hell if he would tell the bastard that. He'd die before he admitted that to the asshole Japanese. Wufie brought his eyes up and came face to face with... Heero.
"Was that directed toward me Wufie?" Heero asked. Wufie nodded his head and decked the Japanese pilot. Heero ducked and upper cutted him, kneeing him in the groin as he did so. Wufie hit the ground coughing for breath and groaning in pain at the same time. His only comfort was Duo beside him. "Are you ok?" he heard the braided boy ask in worry. Ne nodded his head, and felt a stab of pain when he was then scolded. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? You've been at each others throats since we all met up. I want to know what's going on and I want to know now!" Duo said, putting his hands on his hips cutely. Heero repressed the urge to smile, but soon remembered the seriousness of the situation. "He started it" he said, sounding too much like a child for his own comfort. Wufie looked up, directly up, and saw, Heero. Everywhere. Like a child would decorate there bedroom with pictures on the ceiling. Everywhere there was Heero. He gasped and the other two pilots looked up as well. "Oh shit... I was hopping we wouldn't find this" Duo said before blushing deep red.
Quatre was currently acting like his usual mother hen self, trying desperately to find his friends and worry enough for him and all the Maguanacs combined. Trowa was about to kiss him to get him to shut up when they came upon the other three pilots. Quatre yelped in joy and ran up to them. They were all staring at the ceiling, and when he looked up he realized why. "Wait for it" he heard Duo say and suddenly three sides of the air surrounding them turned to video screens. Duo blushed even brighter crimson and stated the obvious. "There... there my fantasies" he said and really wanted to crawl somewhere. Wufie's mind left his body and he fell to a hump on the floor. Quatre blushed almost brighter then Duo, and felt oddly like a vouerist. Trowa, refused to open his eyes, and wished for all he was worth for a pair of ear plugs. Heero on the other hand, was staring dumbfounded at the fantasy. It was his too. He practically got so close to the screen that he could press his face up to it with a few inches moved. It was him, and Duo, and they were. Well screwing each others brains out. Heero suddenly thought maybe he was dreaming. Duo would never share his fantasy. This... this was his heaven.
Trowa had the intelligence to drag Quatre out and they sat outside as the gloomy sky turned to rain. Quatre looked up as the rain drops splattered his face. He found Trowa's hand and they got closer. "I love you" Quatre said and Trowa put an arm around him. "Just wanted you to know. If someone can get as tortured as Duo has, I just want to tell you before we die like this. All shriveled and loveless, I know your not ready" Quatre was cut off by Trowa's lips gently on his. He smiled into the kiss and snuggled him. "Love you too" the man with no words spoke, and it was the first time he actually wanted to talk.
Chapter Nine (Death Walking)
Oh god he's so disgusted he wont even look at me. "Heero..." I talk and I don't even recognize my voice it's so small. "Heero... I... I'm sorry... I was hopping you wouldn't have to see this" I shrink away. I know this is going to hurt. "How long ago did this become a memory, when did it stop being your fantasy?" he asks me. How do I tell him it still is. That I can't take a shower unless its cold because I imagine the water is his hands on me. How do I tell him I still wake up screaming his name in passion. "It never stopped, I still have them" I say. He turns to me. I'm almost floored by his eyes. "You have no idea do you?" he asks me a question. I have no idea. "Your not the only one who has these you know" he points at our make shift walls. I look down because I cant stand looking at him. "You want me?" he asks. "Yes" I answer. He closes the distance between us. His hands on me immediately and I'm not sure whether I can handle the passion I see in those cloudy blue eyes. "Want me" he whispers and I moan as he thrusts me up against the wall, his hips violently thrusting against mine. I throw my head to the side whimpering and he nips at my neck, then collar bone. His hands are all over me and he's driving me crazy.
Wufie opened his eyes and at first he thought the whimper was just in his imagination, but when his vision decided to clear and he saw a very real Duo and Heero practically getting laid on the wall he quickly left. He was bright red when he finally got past them. Seeing Quatre and Trowa doing a toned down version of the same thing didn't make anything better. Before he knew it he had a nose bleed. He was not happy. "MAXWELL, YUY, WINNER, BARTON" he yelled and immediately four sets of eyes were fixed on him. "I'm sure your raging hormones want it to happen now. But I think going home would be a good idea. Yes?" he asked, furious at everything having gone to hell while he was passed out.
Heero kissed Duo sweetly before letting go of him, but one hand still clenched tightly around Duo's braid. Duo tried to gather his wits, his mind still clouded in a lusty haze. Quatre and Trowa stood, hands tightly held together. Duo and Heero walked out, met by Quatre and Trowa. Wufie stood ahead of them all, stopping his bleeding nose from being more bloody then necessary. They all went together as a group.
Duo was in front of all of them, Heero still the closet to him. He caught sight of the red first. "Guys... its the rose... and the phoenix. Be careful and don't let the phoenix touch you" Duo said before grabbing his butcher knife from its make shift sheath. Suddenly all of them passed an invisible doorway and immediately changed. Duo was dressed in a long black robe, his butcher knife having changed into a long bladed scythe. He briefly swung it, natural grace causing it to look like a death dance. Heero was dressed as a knight, but his armor was simple, his gun had turned into another sword and he held both expertly. Wufie was dressed like Chinese royalty, all in white. Quatre and Trowa both wore white versions of there former clothes. "Oh god... I just realized what this is..." Duo said looking out at the battle field between them and the red rose, or on closer look, the red queen. "Chess".
Duo looked ahead then looked at his companions. "The pawns" he nodded toward Quatre and Trowa. "The bishop" toward Wufie, "the knight" toward Heero. He smirked now, "and the queen" he looked ahead again. Feeling Heero's hand caress his shoulder for a second before it picked up its sword again. Wufie looked at them all. "We go for our counter parts. Heero your my back up, Wufie I'm counting on you too" Duo looked toward Quatre and Trowa. "Get the pawns guys, on the count of three. One" Wufie and Heero stood behind Duo, putting away their fight for Duo's sake. "Two" Quatre and Trowa held up there weapons, Quatre quickly going over possibilities of killing as many at once as possible. "three!" they charged.
Chapter Ten (Final battle)
I can't believe this, I get hit on the shoulder and vaguely wonder where my back up went. I see Heero from the corner of my eye, the queen charging straight for him, and to my other side I see Wufie, the phoenix going straight for him. I throw my scythe and don't watch as I run for the queen weaponless. Heero will get killed. He cant even see her he's so busy with the other bishop. I run in front of him. Oh god this hurts. I slide off her sword, feeling the blood running down my cheek, I grab her sword while she stands in shock and run her through. Oh god this hurts.
Quatre stopped as he heard Heero scream. He turned, watching the pawns he had been fighting turn to dust and float away. He saw Wufie staring into space with Duo's bloody scythe in hand, then he saw Heero. Rocking over the lifeless body of... oh god. Trowa and Quatre slowly made their way to Duo, Wufie already running through the debris to reach the two pilots. Duo stared up breathing hitched. He smiled weekly at Heero. "Ohh... baby don't cry" he whispered and Heero kissed him gently. "I love you" Heero whispered and Duo smiled. "Take my hair tie Heero... tie it around the scythe" he whispered. Heero took the ribbon from Duo's messy hair and tied it around the scythe Wufie handed him. "I love you" Duo whispered. "Hey I think its a fitting grave stone" he whispered looking at the scythe and trying to smile. "I love you Heero" he whispered before taking his last hitching breath.
Wufie walked off, turning his back to Duo, had the braided boy not thrown his scythe to save him, he could have defended himself from the red queen. He had failed. He had failed to protect Duo. He had failed. He fell to the ground. Faintly hearing a howl that sounded neither human nor animal coming from Heero. He was blacking out and he knew it. As the world got blurry he welcomed unconsciousness. He had failed both Nataku and Shinigami. Heero was letting himself cry for the first time in his life. He was screaming and all around going out of his mind. It was his fault Duo was dead. The pain was too much he passed out, his body laying beside Duo's.
Chapter Last (Owari)
I open my eyes tentatively. It's too bright in this stupid bedroom. I look over at the Alice book I was supposed to read and then at the computer I was supposed to have typed my report on, the box saying "you won" was on the display screen for the electronic chess game. I smirked lightly and stood stretching. My stomach grumbled. "Hungry" I said to no one but myself as I left the room.
Quatre was about to chop up some pork for breakfast but as he pulled the butcher knife from its rack, found one of Duo's silly hair ribbons tied to it. He shrugged and left it on the counter. Trowa on the other hand was trying to clean a rather nasty spot of blood from his turtleneck, the only problem was he didn't remember how it got there.
Wufie awoke with a start, and went to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror for awhile before brushing his teeth. He mumbled something about "not being gay" before washing out his mouth.
Heero sat in his room, barely awake yet, listening to the shower turn on in the bathroom he shared with Duo. He shivered lightly. Suppressing the urge to go in there himself. He gave up and went to the door opening it a crack and being welcomed by steam. "Maxwell?... Duo?" he asked hesitantly. Duo stuck his head out of the shower, hair streaming down his shoulders, and teasing Heero so badly that he almost reached out despite himself. "Yeah Heero?" Duo asked watching his pale partner. "I... I just wanted to make sure you were ok, hurry up school starts in an hour" he said hastily before turning. "Heero?" Duo asked and Heero obediently halted. "You ok?" he asked and Heero leaned against the door frame and smiled against it. "Yeah I'm fine" he said truthfully, assured that Duo was alive and well. "Your not acting normal..." Duo drew off, his hand drifting across his lips, and causing a blush to work it way down his face to his neck. Heero smirked against the frame. "You, you know... I mean you don't normally ask me if I'm ok" Duo said. Heero turned to him. "I don't normally... I should... your my best friend. Thank you Duo" Heero said glancing at Duo longingly. Duo looked at him smiling hesitantly "for what?" he asked and Heero smiled at him brightly, Duo grinned for no reason other then the look on Heero's face, "For everything braided baka" and left closing the door securely. Duo closed his shower curtain and leaned against the tile wall. "Thank you too Heero... you don't know it but you made my day, my life probably" Duo smirked.
Heero leaned against the bathroom door and sighed. "You don't know how much you make me happy. I could die happy when you smile at me" Heero shrugged off his longing and gathered clothes for his own shower. "I bet I don't do this either" he said before busting into the bathroom again. "Hey Duo what would happen if I flushed the toilet?" snicker, grin, flush.
