Title: Do NOT Ignore the Authoress

Rating: T (for implied secksy-tiem)

Summary: Based loosely on comments between myself and FrenziedFerret (on deviantART) as well as basically spending my whole day with no one talking to me... I WAS going to finish this last night but it's already pretty long and it's very late now, so... enjoy. And remember, do NOT ignore your authoress!


It's been decided that pretty much the worst thing you could do to Demon is ignore her. Do NOT ignore the authoress. Especially when she's wandering aimlessly around your TARDIS. She's dangerous, she's powerful, and she's just a little bit cracked, so PAY HER BLOODY ATTENTION WHEN SHE ASKS FOR IT!

Checking the TARDIS log, and seeing nothing new, Demon turned around in a huff. Nothing was going on, nothing… she'd come ALL the way back from her writing conference with pretty much one single thought on her mind, well, two things: seeing Richard, her trusted, beloved computer again, who had been left alone in her frigid room by himself for a whole day which was just… unimaginable, and getting back on board the TARDIS. Of course, once she got there, there was a rapid session of catch-up, but after that… gnats buzzing would make the most exciting part of the day…

Jai had showed up briefly, which was odd, but she was really only there for the bananas and the Doctor and the Master had buggered off to… well, she'd put the cart before the horse there in that sentence. And as much as she would love to stalk and watch them while un-surreptitiously (which, if you didn't know is apparently not a word… BUT IT SHOULD BE!) chew bubble gum above them, smacking it loudly and blowing bubbles, she couldn't because they'd managed to find one of the few rooms on the TARDIS that she couldn't directly access without the Doctor with her.

So, what was a plot-bunnied, bored-to-death authoress to do? But cause mischief and grief to the unsuspecting readership… *evil!grin* She liked the evil-grin, she was particularly fond of using it because it always brought to mind Simm!Master's favorite smile… she attempted to imitate it every time she wrote *evil!grin* but she was pretty sure she failed.

So… mischief, mischief, mischief… (bonus points to anyone who got that) what mischief could she get up to today? She always got up to better mischief when she had a George to her Fred, but she was far more destructive on her own, even if it was less fun…

Well, what did she have? One: a TARDIS, two: an ego the size of Jupiter and it was currently injured like the angry, red hurricane on Jupiter's surface, and three: a brain full of plot-bunnies, a la Rassilon. Hmm…

Turning back to the TARDIS, she twisted a few knobs here, pulled a lever over there, the TARDIS flashed in warning as it revved to life. Demon eyed it, "Yeah, I know this is a Bad Idea In Progress, but you know what, I'm gonna teach 'em something…"

The TARDIS sighed, but consoled herself that it might give them BOTH a chance for vengeance… yes, the TARDIS was warming up to this Bad Idea.

A few more buttons pushed and they were off.

Meanwhile, in the part of the TARDIS that Demon's prying eyes couldn't actually get to…

"Oh, Doctor!" the Master moaned between some hardcore pushing and pulling and glomping and groping… both assumed that the rocking and rolling of their room was just their own scantily clad and hectic love making at work.

And then bang, crash, the lightening flashed! Oh wait, that's another story never mind… (again, bonus points if you get that) But there was a very loud bang and a rousing crash just as two hot and sweaty Time Lord bodies crashed together somewhere above Demon and the TARDIS console…

"Did you feel that?" the Doctor blinked, trying to regain cognitive thought.

"Mmm… I did indeed, Doctor," the Master pulled him very close, nuzzling his soft spot just under his ear.

The Doctor gave up the fight for cognitive thought… fluff and post-coital joy was all he really needed right now, anyway…

"Right… let's have a look outside, shall we?" Demon grinned at the TARDIS, who chuckled merrily in her own bio-mechanical way.

Demon opened the door, oh… perfect, right on time… she rushed back in, "Oh TARDIS… oh, you brilliant thing you!" she ran up to the center column and attempted to embrace it, "You ARE good, you really are!"

The TARDIS shook her off gently, reminding her that she had Time Lord happiness to ruin.

Demon walked out of the TARDIS, completely self-confident of her plot. This was just one of the MANY ways in which she was like the Master, she really was. She had evil plots that she believed were undefeatable, of course the Doctor usually ended up disproving that, and she was counting on him to catch her, but not before it was time. She also had a massive ego that DEMANDED, much like a cat really, to be stroked as often as possible, and it had been ignored, never a good idea. Because cats had teeth and claws and even while they were rubbing up against you they could very easily trip you. Especially if you had your pants around your ankles.

And it was in this exact way that Demon was going to teach her lovely Time Lords into remembering her a little more often.

"Come out of the Police Box!" Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart was shouting into a megaphone, "UNIT has you surrounded!"

Demon stood there, hands raised, with a proper, mad, evil grin on her face.

-

"State your name, rank, and intention," Captain Yates inquired of her.

Demon had one HELL of a time not laughing in a sardonic way, so she settled for practicing that evil!grin again, "Demon, authoress, mischief, mayhem, and madness."

"I see…" Yates scribbled it down.

Demon just continued to smile, "Tell me, has UNIT confiscated that police box yet?"

Yates looked up, "I'm not authorized to tell you."

Demon's smile widened, of course they had.

"And… is the Doctor going to examine it?" she further prodded.

Yates dropped his pencil, "How do you know about…?"

"Oh, I know FAR more than UNIT would deem safe for me to know," she winked at him, lowering her voice.

-

"No… no, it can't be!" the Doctor whispered, shocked.

"It appeared out of thin air, Doctor, just like your TARDIS," the Brigadier was explaining.

"Yes, but… that's impossible! You cannot cross your own time stream there are laws on Gallifrey against this, this is… most inappropriate!" the Doctor chastised the old girl (because we all know Three was focused solely on the appropriateness of any given situation). It lurched at him angrily, showing him some of the attitude she'd developed over the years.

He stepped back, affronted, "Now, now old girl, there's no need to bark at me, I didn't bring you here! But who did, I wonder…" he stretched out a hand to touch it.

"Wait, Doctor, so this is your TARDIS?" Jo asked quizzically.

"Yes, Jo, I'm not sure how, but… this is her…. A bit older though, worse for wear in parts, her paint's beginning to fade," the TARDIS nearly took his hair off with a whoosh of hot air form her engines.

"Brigadier, the Master's just been spotted, we're sending a troop in to abduct him as we speak," a commander ran in to spread the good news.

"The Master? Now? He always did pick the worst times to show up," the Doctor groaned.

"Well, at least we know he's not in that one," Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart gestured to the blue box.

"Indeed, but then… who is?"

-

The Master was just nodding off when the Doctor sat up, dragging his warmth with him.

"Master, did you hear that?"

The Master didn't even open his eyes, "No, it was just your old ship creaking, now, lie back down… be good and I'll give you a treat later."

"No, but…" he sniffed the air, "Yeah, smell that? Master sit up, smell that air!"

The Master, begrudgingly, sat up and inhaled, "Oh… that's not 21st century air."

"No, no, far too clean… we've moved. Not out of place, or not by much, but we've moved I time…"

The Master started, "But that's impossible, unless…"

"Unless…"

"DEMON!" they shouted in unison. And, away in her tiny room with Captain Yates she could almost hear them.

Almost.

-

"Right, Miss Demon," Yates was saying, after she'd proved to him that she knew more than she should, "luckily just yesterday we received someone who ALSO believed they were from the future, so we'll just room you with him for the time being…" he illustrated, escorting her to her holding cell.

"Hmm…" she said dryly, "Well, do tell me when the Doctor gets back, I'd like to see him," she had to stop herself from saying 'the BOTH of them'. Spoilers.

"Captain Yates, Captain Yates!" a messenger came running down, "Captain Yates, the Master's being taken in, the Brigadier wants you up there for questioning!"

"Yes, right away Simpkins, I'll be there. Now, Mr. Tyler, we have a friend for you who also insists she's from the future."

Demon entered the cell. Tyler? But that couldn't be…

Mr. Tyler looked up, blinked once at her, then turned away again.

Oh… this was better than she'd planned it.

-

"DEMON!" the Doctor was shouting, pulling his trouser on as her ran down the stairs, "DEMON, this is NOT funny, now where are you?"

The Master thundered about above him, less yelling and more toppling things over looking for her. "She's not here, Doctor," he eventually surmised, rejoining him in the Control Room, "and why are you only half dressed?"

The Doctor blushed, "I'm just thorough, that's all," he tucked in his shirt, "now where's my tie…?"

Someone banged on the door, "Is there anyone in there? We want you to come out with your hands raised, you cannot leave while UNIT surrounds your TARDIS."

The Doctor's jaw dropped, "That voice…"

The Master stared at him, "Is that…?"

The Doctor tentatively opened the door… to see, the Doctor.


The Events Alluded to During the Introduction: .com/journal/30600351/#comments

Just... Inspiration in General: .com/art/Our-New-Home-155476278

Where the RP Began (just alternate between his journal and mine until you get to the end): .com/journal/30564524/

Oh, and the Bonus Points:

"Mischief, mischief, mischief..." - Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street (if you've only seen the movie, you probably didn't catch it, so... GO SEE THE OBC! IT'S BETTER! )

"And then bang, crash, the lightening flashed. Oh wait, that's another story, nevermind..." - Into the Woods (what? So I have a minor obsession with Sondheim! YOU SHOULD TOO!)

SUPER SECRET BONUS!

"Simpkins!" - Monty Python's Flying Circus (yes... I stole that name form this sketch: [link])