Hand Raiser
By: knuckz
Disclaimer: No.
Summary: Chuunin exams. Naruto raised his hand. And then he slammed it down. One-shot.
"...It's a desperation question."
Everybody scrutinized him carefully.
"You can choose to take this question." Ibiki said, eyeing the chuunin-hopefuls with a knowing look in his eyes. He saw the confusion in many of the genin, his expert eyes already picking out those that would inevitably choose to drop out.
"If you choose not to take this question, then you and your team will fail." the (literally) scarred man told the assorted shinobi. It was a Konoha ninja that reacted first.
"What the hell!? Then of course we'll take it!"
Ibiki concluded that the boy in question was an Inuzuka, judging by his feral visage and by the puppy on his head. And the rash response.
"However, if you choose to take the question and fail in getting it correct..." Ibiki continued pausing for dramatic effect. He loved dramatic pauses; it was such a ninja thing to do.
"...then you will be forbidden from taking the chuunin exams ever again."
Cue the frozen faces. Disbelief. And then the anger and outrage. Ibiki almost chuckled.
"That's bullshit!"
"No way!"
"There are people here that have taken the chuunin exams before!"
Ibiki did chuckle this time, making sure to sound menacing. Menacing was such a ninja thing to be.
"Unfortunately for all of you, I've been chosen as the proctor for the exam this year." Ibiki informed them, "Now, raise your hand if you want to quit. Then you and your team will leave the room."
There was silence following Ibiki's statement. He waited for the first to break. Somebody always broke.
Eventually, one nervous genin raised his hand.
"I can't do it!" he said, shaking. His teammates got up from their seats and followed him out. And the floodgates opened. One by one, genin left and right raised their hands, choosing to try again later than risk losing the opportunity forever.
Ibiki eyed a particularly gaudily-dressed genin with blond hair raise his hand. Behind him, a girl with pink hair and another boy with dark hair eyed him in shock. They were doubtlessly his teammates, and judging by their surprise, they hadn't expected him to quit.
Truthfully, Ibiki had thought that the boy was going to wear it through. Surely any ninja dressed like that was proud in his abilities?
Then the boy slammed his hand down on the table.
"Yeah right!" the boy suddenly exclaimed, "I'm not scared of your test! I don't care if I have to be a genin forever! I'll still become Hokage or my name isn't Uzumaki Naruto!"
Ibiki held in his surprise. He certainly hadn't expected that. Around the boy, the other genin seemed emboldened by the blond's proclamation.
Ibiki smirked nastily. They couldn't have that now, could they?
"Well made speech." Ibiki said, "Unfortunately for you, however, you did raise your hand, so you and your team are disqualified. Get out."
The boy's bright grin went slack.
"But- but-"
Ibiki raised an eyebrow.
"I said, get out." Ibiki repeated, making sure to sound dangerous. Dangerous was such a ninja way to sound.
Reluctantly, the boy got out of his seat, looking back at his teammates worriedly. They didn't react, and the team of genin quietly left the silent room.
Hands started rising again, beginning with a timid looking Hyuuga.
Ever since Naruto was kicked out of the exam, Kakashi began focusing on training his team much better. Orochimaru didn't mark Sasuke since the boy had been kicked out due to his idiotic teammate. Eventually, Jiraiya came back and revealed himself as Naruto's godfather, training Naruto to even higher limits. The Sand and Sound attacked and were defeated thanks in large to a much better Team 7, not to mention a better trained Naruto, though the Third still died.
Sasuke helped Kakashi, Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma fight Itachi, and successfully gauged his strength against his brother's, deciding that Konoha was the way to go.
Naruto retrieved Tsunade as the Godaime Hokage by betting her that he could master the Rasengan in a week, which he had done.
Sasuke never defected due to never having received Orochimaru's cursed seal, and therefore Sakura never became a cry-baby. She did, however, remain useless.
Eventually, somebody defeated Akatsuki and Danzo and stopped Madara's madness.
Naruto became Hokage and was accepted and loved by everyone, and was married to Hyuuga Hinata. And Temari. And Konan from Ame. And a bunch of other girls, some of which that should've been enemies. Or dead. Or dead enemies. But they were somehow still around in order to form a harem.
His first action as Hokage was to legalize marriage to clouds, a privilege that Shikamaru exercised immediately. Kiba continued to smell like dogs, and Shino remained single because of his sunglasses, which he refused to change. Neji did things, and so did Lee. Chouji became skinny... no... no, he didn't.
Gai became so youthful that he turned into a tadpole. Kakashi's mask got fused to his face, so ironically, he can never remove it; however, not a single person to this date has been able to figure out how he eats.
Asuma's beard caught on fire, and Kurenai dumped him to join Naruto's harem. Tenten joined as well; in fact, almost every girl that had been mentioned in name joined Naruto's harem, even Tsunade and Shizune.
Sasuke eventually killed Itachi and 'avenged' his clan, remaining none-the-wiser about the real truth behind the Uchiha clan's massacre, but nobody really liked him enough to care. Except Sakura and Ino, but nobody really liked them either.
The world was alright, and Naruto got lots and lots of sex from hot chicks, all with eyes on only him. All thanks to Morino Ibiki.
End
Author's note: Yup.
