Dear Lockon
Summary: Feldt suggests that Tieria write a letter to Lockon.
Pairing: Lockon/Tieria
Warnings: Slash
Tieria watched the activity in the hangar, still feeling numb. Lockon Stratos was gone, killed in the last battle by Ali al-Saachez. Tieria had promised to protect him, but in the end he had been unable to save Lockon. He clenched his fists in anger, but the anger soon gave way to a deep melancholy that felt all-consuming.
In the corner of his eye, he spotted Setsuna F. Seiei and Feldt Grace near the remains of Dynames' cockpit. He was unable to hear their conversation, but he watched as the pink-haired girl pulled out an envelope and placed it inside the cockpit before leaving. He sighed. He knew Feldt had been in love with Lockon, just as he himself had been. He almost wished that he could switch lives with the girl. At the moment, mourning an unrequited love sounded far less painful than what he was experiencing.
He closed his eyes and tried to pull himself together. The fight was not over yet. More enemies were coming.
"Tieria?"
He opened his eyes and looked over to the source of the voice, Feldt Grace.
He did not want to respond to her, did not want anything to do with her at the moment, but his curiosity got the better of him.
"What did you place in Lockon's cockpit?" he asked.
A sad look crossed her face and she looked down toward the floor as she fidgeted with her hands.
"I-It was a letter. I wrote a letter to Lockon."
"Why?"
"S-so I could tell him how I feel."
Tieria did not respond.
She looked up cautiously at the lack of response and asked, "Do you have anyone you want to write a letter to, Tieria?"
Again, Tieria chose not to respond verbally. Was the girl an idiot? What was the point of writing a letter to someone who would not read it?
Feldt took his silence as confusion and said, "I think he'll be able to read it, someday. I'll never know what he thought, but at least now he'll know how I felt."
Tieria once more did not respond and Feldt, looking a little crestfallen, left without another word.
He turned his attention back to the Gundams. There were so many things he wanted to tell Lockon. Above all, Tieria wanted to apologize for not protecting him. It sounded ridiculous to write him a letter if he would never read it, but maybe there was some small chance that he could. At that, Tieria headed back to his room.
With a small sigh and a shaky hand, he began to write:
Dear Lockon,
I feel silly writing to you since you will never read this. But Feldt Grace believes that you can read her letter, so maybe you can read mine, too.
I am sorry I could not protect you. I swore I would and I failed. It is my fault that you died, that Ali al-Saachez murdered you just like your family. You protected me when Veda abandoned us and you were injured because of me. I know that nothing I do now can make it up to you – it is too late. But I am still sorry.
Is it nice where you are now? Are you finally at peace with yourself and the world? I have never believed in God or an afterlife, but I would like to think I will be able to join you someday.
I feel lost here without you. But even though I feel utterly empty inside, I am going to be strong, for you. I will continue fighting because it is what you would want. We no longer have Veda, and it is possible that Aeolia's plan calls for our destruction, but we still have the solar reactors. We still have the Gundams. I think you were right, that we can still fight for peace, even though the entire universe seems to have abandoned us.
The world has united to fight the Gundams. Maybe fighting us is the only way the world can stay united. If that is true, then is our sacrifice meaningless? Was your death insignificant? You were willing to do whatever was needed to eradicate conflict in the world, but what if such a world is not possible? I used to blindly believe that Aeolia's plan could not fail, that Veda would not let it fail. I feel an overwhelming uncertainty now that Veda's gone, but it is also liberating. I know that I am fighting now of my own free will, not because it is part of the plan. Was that what you were trying to teach me?
I wish you were still here. You always knew what to do, what to say, even when the situation seemed hopeless. You smiled at me before you left to fight and even though you were injured, I thought you would be okay because of your smile. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but it is true. I guess that even you could not escape the cruelty of the world.
I wish I had been able to protect you like you protected me, but now all it will ever be is an empty wish. I already miss your smile, your laugh, the warmth of your hand in mine. I hope I will see you again someday. If the next battle ends badly, I might be seeing you very soon. However, I hope that by the time I see you again, I will be able to tell you about the world you so desperately wished for.
Until then, I love you, always.
Forever yours,
Tieria Erde
Tieria sealed the letter and returned to the hangar, gently placing it in Dynames' cockpit next to Feldt's. With a sad smile, but feeling better than before, he left to rest for the next battle. While he wanted nothing more than to join Lockon wherever he was at, Celestial Being was depending on him and he could not let them down.
