I've never seriously written anything serious in a serious manner
Seriously
Anyway here's some silly trainwreck spawned of a skype conversation and a wealth of free time. It's been a while since I played these games so personalities are slightly or completely off (what personalities, there's barely anything here). It's just a stupid slapping together of words anyway, don't read this trash.
"Now wait just a minute." Hajime stood up in the middle of breakfast to address all those that had bothered coming, except Nagito because fuck Nagito in the face with several thousand broom handles and an anvil. "Are you all seriously telling me no one notices that?" he asked, attempting to remain calm while, across the restaurant, Junko tore into a table with her teeth and proceeded to completely obliterate the rest with a large toy hammer.
Akane was the first to respond with a, "What are you on about, Hajime? Are you feelin' alright?", while outside, Nagito was beaten senseless by a pack of gophers.
Hajime was most certainly not feeling alright, because there was a girl eating furniture and no one was paying it any mind. In fact, he was feeling every way but alright. Nauseous, confused, mildly arou- irritated, but certainly not aroused. I mean, alright. "There is a girl right there, eating the furniture! Right there!" he exclaimed.
Those present turned their heads to look where Hajime's antenna suddenly pointed, only to find an intact, empty table and not much else. No one was amused. Well, except Akane. Also Nagito tripped and fell into the pool outside. No one cares.
And then Hajime was wearing a gigantic top hat. Now, he was no expert on paranormal activity, but this was definitely starting to look like something along those lines. Hajime and his top hat ran out of the restaurant, past Nagito's drowned corpse (which also spontaneously combusted for some reason) and freaked right the hell out at what he saw. All of the cottages, replaced with giant bags of Doritos and bottles of Mountain Dew. It was the MLGpocalypse, and all of the dubstep in the world wouldn't save Hajime now. Also Nagito's body was picked up by a pterodactly and flown off someplace. In the sky, there was a brief explosion that no one paid any attention to.
That aside, Junko suddenly appeared before the panicking Hajime and took a few steps closer to him, eyes narrowing. She reached out and took his top hat, tossing it aside before tightly grasping his antenna and pulling. Easily, it detached from his head and crumpled up like a salted slug, plunging Hajime into a despair he would never, ever recover from.
And all because Junko wanted to mess around with his head or whatever the plot here was.
