Chapter One - Beginnings
Buffy lay quietly in Angel's arms, her head resting against his chest. There was no need for words. This was the reunion they had been dreaming of for all those long years apart, the perfect happiness they thought they would never again experience. But now it was a reality.
The truth had not yet sunk in for Buffy. Her head was still floating around, and somewhere between that electrifying kiss on the doorstep and this peaceful moment now, Angel's soul had been bound. It was unbelievable. The physical, tangible evidence of her aching muscles and the light sheen of sweat covering hers and Angel's body brought it all into focus however. She and Angel were back together, in the most literal sense of the word. Now in the aftermath of one of the most intense days of her life, all Buffy wanted to do was sleep. However, she was almost too exhausted to do so.
Angel noticed the slight movement of her body as the thoughts poured through her head. "Can't sleep?" he asked, as she shifted again.
"Nu-uh," she replied sleepily, burying her face into his shoulder. "Too wired."
"Well," he teased, his fingers beginning to wonder lazily down her bare back. "I can take care of that."
Buffy squirmed in delight, a small giggle escaping from her throat as she rolled over to trap his arms. "You are a very bad man," she admonished, her eyes glinting, pressing her lips to his. As Buffy relaxed her grip on his arms, beginning to slide back to a resting position, Angel pulled her back down to him. Her eyes shot to his, caught off guard by his sudden movement.
"I didn't say I was finished yet," he replied, smirking, as his fingers resumed their teasing trails across her back, his lips caressing hers.
"Go ahead," Buffy gasped between kisses, her hands groping for skin, for contact. Suddenly Buffy did not feel very sleepy anymore.
***************************
Cordelia sat on the Summers' sofa, her head in her hands. She was hoping to have been back in LA tonight, back in her comfortable bed in her very comfortable apartment. But instead she was stuck in Sunnydale, listening to the rhythmic creaking emanating from the bedroom above. "Oh will they give it a break already?" she snapped grouchily, causing a snoozing Lorne to jump up. "This is like the fourth time tonight, for chrissakes! Don't they know there are some of us who want to sleep?"
Lorne gave her a look. "I don't think that's the first thought on their minds, sweetie," he pointed out sagely, stretching his limbs out slowly.
She sent him a forced smile, then promptly flopped back on the sofa, pulling the blanket over her head. This, she surmised, was almost probably her idea of hell. Instead of everlasting flames and a devil's fork, she would be tortured for eternity on a lumpy couch with the musical stylings of the Buffy-Angel sex show. She had known this would happen. Every time they got groiny, the world as she knew it fell apart. So it had. Now instead of being an integral part of a dynamic team of demon hunters, she was bedless, stranded, grumpy, weary, and purposeless.
"Cordelia, honey, will you just go to sleep," a bleary-eyed Lorne implored.
"Yeah," seconded Gunn from the floor, his arm draped possessively across a slumbering Fred. "Missing beauty sleep here."
She frowned across the darkened room at them both. "How can you sleep when our whole future is in doubt?" she demanded dramatically. "Have you given any thought to what'll happen now that Angel has gone and got all googly- eyed over Buffy again? It's bye bye jobs time, hello cold shoulder."
Gunn rolled his eyes at Cordelia's exaggeration. "Angel wouldn't do that. He's got too much going on in LA." Fred murmured in her sleep, and Gunn softly planted a kiss on her forehead. "Just like me."
"Well that's just the point isn't it? Buffy isn't in LA," Cordelia pressed, folding her arms defiantly. Leaving that thought to hang in the air, she settled down as much as she could into the couch, determined to catch a little sleep now she had made her point. And as she dozed off, Lorne and Gunn were left wide awake, wondering exactly what Angel's plans would be. So much of their lives were tangled up in this cause, this mission, to lose it now seemed unthinkable. To think they would lose the man who started it was almost unbearable.
***************************
The moon was full tonight, gleaming bright across the cloudless sky. Willow gazed at it intently, suddenly reminded of Oz. The thought startled her. She had not thought of him in months, not since Tara had died. Saddened, she looked away from the moon, folding her arms around her. Tara's absence hurt every day, a dull, lasting ache that never truly went away. Whenever she was with her friends, whenever she cast a spell, whenever she felt a twinge of guilt, Tara was there. There had never been a pain like it, but Willow let herself wallow in it head first. It was the only real link she had left to Tara, the only way she could know she had ever really existed - by allowing herself to fully feel her loss.
"Hey baby," she whispered, raising her eyes to the constellation of stars they had once both watched. "Love you always."
As Willow's eyes began to tear slightly, she felt herself being watched. Rubbing her face quickly, she turned to see Wesley standing looking at her in concern. She gave him a small smile, trying to cover her upset, and patted the bench beside her. "I don't bite," she joked lamely.
Wes slowly made his way over and sat beside her on the bench. "A popular spot," he mused. "Do you think they charge per minute?"
Will caught his eye and despite herself laughed. "Maybe. It might be, you know, Buffy's new project to earn a dollar," Will ventured, her voice becoming more and more animated. "It's gotta be better than the time she worked construction at Xander's site. Not really working with the slaying."
"Sounds like there's been at least one moment of humour since I left," he noted, then seeing her closed expression, quickly backtracked. "Sorry, that was thoughtless, Willow. Please forgive me."
Will saw the earnest look in his eyes, and her expression softened. "No big, Wes. You weren't to know," she replied, looking at the stars again. Wes watched her carefully for a moment, considering his next words.
"It makes you feel part of something much bigger, doesn't it?" Wes began, critically analysing her expression before continuing. "Whenever I know I'm veering off course, I try to remember that. That we're all part of one big whole, that there is a plan."
Will stopped looking at the stars and regarded him with curiosity. "You really believe that?"
"Absolutely," he answered with conviction. "It's the only thing I really do believe anymore."
Letting that comment pass, Will quietly said, "I'm not sure what I believe. It's just too much to think about. Some days I barely know if I believe in myself."
"Thanks to you, two soulmates are now able to be together after years apart," Wes pointed out, taking her arm firmly to emphasise his point. "You really don't know how impressive what you did is."
She gently removed her arm from his grip, and placed it in her lap. "Not really looking to impress," she replied evenly. "Just to stay in control."
"And why wouldn't you?" Wes asked.
"I'm not quite the girl I was when you left. Kind of tried to end the world last year," she told him plainly.
"You still seem the same to me," he reassured her, trying to imagine an evil Willow and failing miserably.
"Maybe," she said, sounding utterly unconvinced. "So why aren't you in there, doing the sleeping thing?"
"Because maybe I'm not the same anymore either," he responded. "And maybe I wish I was."
A look of understanding passed between them and then they went back to gazing at the sky, hoping for that elusive shooting star.
***************************
Utterly spent, Angel and Buffy collapsed panting onto the bed. Not able to form words for a minute, they both stared into one another's eyes, transfixed by the love they found reflected there. After a while, Angel rolled Buffy against him, encouraging her to rest her head back on his chest.
"That was amazing," she gasped.
"It was," Angel responded, a brilliant smile playing on his lips.
"You know I really love you," she whispered, snuggling against his chest.
"And I love you," he told her, kissing her head. "Now sleep."
Murmuring her assent, she wrapped her arms tighter around him, as if not quite sure this was all real. In response he pulled her even closer, reaffirming his presence. Listening carefully to her breathing, he stroked her hair until he was sure she was sleeping. Then he closed his own eyes, and finally allowed himself to accept that his dearest dream had actually come true. Buffy was his: his to hold, his to love. There would be no more need for separation, no more need for suffering the agony and the heartache that came with their love. It was almost too good to be true; yet somehow it was.
It was then that Angel fully comprehended the slight uneasiness he felt. He was waiting for the fly in the ointment, for the carpet to be taken out from beneath his feet. Since when was the path to true happiness ever so clear of obstacles? Gazing down at the sleeping woman in his arms, he tried to dismiss that thought, submerging himself in his love for her. It was overwhelming, the emotion that flooded through him upon seeing her peaceful face. He was back right again in the day the powers took back, to the moments he had thought that he had it all. Except he did not need to relive it endlessly in his memories as he had secretly in the years since. This time she was really here with him; it was really her arms wrapped around him, her head against his chest. No one could rob her of her memory, or rob them of their happiness. Suddenly he became filled with the need to protect their newfound hope. His mind lingered on the file that Wesley had handed him earlier that day, and he made a mental note to go through it with Wesley later. He had to know everything about the spell they had cast on him and why. He had to know that this was over, that he and Buffy were safe to find their future together. How did he know that the Robed Demon was not part of a bigger plot, that there were not more of his clan just waiting to tear him and Buffy apart?
Buffy began to murmur in her sleep. Angel closed his eyes and listened again. She was having a good dream. He smiled at this, glad to be witness to her nocturnal happiness. It was so long since he had seen her be vulnerable, be open to him. It was as if all the encrusted layers of defence suffocating Buffy's heart were crumbling as she became warmed with love again. He felt the peace seep into his own soul and suddenly sleep was with him. The world could wait until tomorrow.
***************************
From behind the tightly drawn curtains, Buffy could hear the sounds of the daytime world. Smiling dreamily, her eyes still closed, she stretched her arms across the bed, reaching for Angel. Her fingers touched the cotton of the sheets, left cold by Angel's absence. She abruptly opened her eyes and sat up bewildered, pulling the sheet around her body. The clothes that last night they had so carelessly scattered across the floor were now folded neatly on the chair. Grabbing Angel's shirt and her jeans, she quickly dressed and made her way out the room.
The sound of a familiar voice made her stop suddenly. From Willow's room she could hear the voices of Angel and Wesley quietly debating some point. As soundlessly as she could she crept to the door and eavesdropped.
"Are you sure, Wesley?" Angel asked uncertainly.
"Yes, there's absolutely no doubt in my mind. You need to sort this out," Wesley answered firmly. "Sooner than later. You can't risk the consequences of letting this develop any further."
"Looks like I'll have to leave for LA as soon as possible," he said reluctantly, heading for the door. "Buffy's gonna love this." As the words left his mouth, he opened the door and was confronted with a hurt looking Buffy. "Buffy," he gasped, totally taken aback.
"What's the matter, Angel? Hoping to leave without me knowing," she asked, her voice quivering.
"Of course not," he answered quickly, clasping her shoulders. "I just didn't want you to find out like this."
Buffy's face filled with confusion. "Find out what Angel? I don't understand!"
Angel took a deep, unneeded breath and looked at her worried face. "Wes got a file from Wolfram and Hart. It's got information in it that suggests that there was more to the spell than we first thought."
"We've got the demon right here. We can just go talk to it, find out what's the what. You don't need to go to LA yet," she argued, her eyes pleading with him to stay.
Giving her an apologetic glance, Angel answered, "I do. The demon was part of something bigger. I have to take care of it."
"Then I'll come with you," she countered. "We can take care of it together."
Angel shook his head slightly. "I need you to stay here, Buffy. I need you to be safe. You, Will and the others have work to do here."
Cupping her hands around his face, she gave him a piercing look. "And I need you to be safe," she murmured. "I only just got you back."
"I know," he answered, resting his head against hers. "I wish things could be different."
"It's okay, I understand." Her voice was softly deceptive, and Angel sensed she was hiding something. Seeing the doubt in his eyes, Buffy quickly brought her lips to his, entangling him in a consuming kiss. Sure the doubt was gone from his mind, Buffy gently pulled off from the kiss, and led him down the stairs to meet with the others. In her mind though, she had already decided she was going to LA and he would not know a thing about it. There was no way she would be separated from him when it came to something so important. Nobody messed with her boyfriend.
To be continued. Let me know what you think!
Buffy lay quietly in Angel's arms, her head resting against his chest. There was no need for words. This was the reunion they had been dreaming of for all those long years apart, the perfect happiness they thought they would never again experience. But now it was a reality.
The truth had not yet sunk in for Buffy. Her head was still floating around, and somewhere between that electrifying kiss on the doorstep and this peaceful moment now, Angel's soul had been bound. It was unbelievable. The physical, tangible evidence of her aching muscles and the light sheen of sweat covering hers and Angel's body brought it all into focus however. She and Angel were back together, in the most literal sense of the word. Now in the aftermath of one of the most intense days of her life, all Buffy wanted to do was sleep. However, she was almost too exhausted to do so.
Angel noticed the slight movement of her body as the thoughts poured through her head. "Can't sleep?" he asked, as she shifted again.
"Nu-uh," she replied sleepily, burying her face into his shoulder. "Too wired."
"Well," he teased, his fingers beginning to wonder lazily down her bare back. "I can take care of that."
Buffy squirmed in delight, a small giggle escaping from her throat as she rolled over to trap his arms. "You are a very bad man," she admonished, her eyes glinting, pressing her lips to his. As Buffy relaxed her grip on his arms, beginning to slide back to a resting position, Angel pulled her back down to him. Her eyes shot to his, caught off guard by his sudden movement.
"I didn't say I was finished yet," he replied, smirking, as his fingers resumed their teasing trails across her back, his lips caressing hers.
"Go ahead," Buffy gasped between kisses, her hands groping for skin, for contact. Suddenly Buffy did not feel very sleepy anymore.
***************************
Cordelia sat on the Summers' sofa, her head in her hands. She was hoping to have been back in LA tonight, back in her comfortable bed in her very comfortable apartment. But instead she was stuck in Sunnydale, listening to the rhythmic creaking emanating from the bedroom above. "Oh will they give it a break already?" she snapped grouchily, causing a snoozing Lorne to jump up. "This is like the fourth time tonight, for chrissakes! Don't they know there are some of us who want to sleep?"
Lorne gave her a look. "I don't think that's the first thought on their minds, sweetie," he pointed out sagely, stretching his limbs out slowly.
She sent him a forced smile, then promptly flopped back on the sofa, pulling the blanket over her head. This, she surmised, was almost probably her idea of hell. Instead of everlasting flames and a devil's fork, she would be tortured for eternity on a lumpy couch with the musical stylings of the Buffy-Angel sex show. She had known this would happen. Every time they got groiny, the world as she knew it fell apart. So it had. Now instead of being an integral part of a dynamic team of demon hunters, she was bedless, stranded, grumpy, weary, and purposeless.
"Cordelia, honey, will you just go to sleep," a bleary-eyed Lorne implored.
"Yeah," seconded Gunn from the floor, his arm draped possessively across a slumbering Fred. "Missing beauty sleep here."
She frowned across the darkened room at them both. "How can you sleep when our whole future is in doubt?" she demanded dramatically. "Have you given any thought to what'll happen now that Angel has gone and got all googly- eyed over Buffy again? It's bye bye jobs time, hello cold shoulder."
Gunn rolled his eyes at Cordelia's exaggeration. "Angel wouldn't do that. He's got too much going on in LA." Fred murmured in her sleep, and Gunn softly planted a kiss on her forehead. "Just like me."
"Well that's just the point isn't it? Buffy isn't in LA," Cordelia pressed, folding her arms defiantly. Leaving that thought to hang in the air, she settled down as much as she could into the couch, determined to catch a little sleep now she had made her point. And as she dozed off, Lorne and Gunn were left wide awake, wondering exactly what Angel's plans would be. So much of their lives were tangled up in this cause, this mission, to lose it now seemed unthinkable. To think they would lose the man who started it was almost unbearable.
***************************
The moon was full tonight, gleaming bright across the cloudless sky. Willow gazed at it intently, suddenly reminded of Oz. The thought startled her. She had not thought of him in months, not since Tara had died. Saddened, she looked away from the moon, folding her arms around her. Tara's absence hurt every day, a dull, lasting ache that never truly went away. Whenever she was with her friends, whenever she cast a spell, whenever she felt a twinge of guilt, Tara was there. There had never been a pain like it, but Willow let herself wallow in it head first. It was the only real link she had left to Tara, the only way she could know she had ever really existed - by allowing herself to fully feel her loss.
"Hey baby," she whispered, raising her eyes to the constellation of stars they had once both watched. "Love you always."
As Willow's eyes began to tear slightly, she felt herself being watched. Rubbing her face quickly, she turned to see Wesley standing looking at her in concern. She gave him a small smile, trying to cover her upset, and patted the bench beside her. "I don't bite," she joked lamely.
Wes slowly made his way over and sat beside her on the bench. "A popular spot," he mused. "Do you think they charge per minute?"
Will caught his eye and despite herself laughed. "Maybe. It might be, you know, Buffy's new project to earn a dollar," Will ventured, her voice becoming more and more animated. "It's gotta be better than the time she worked construction at Xander's site. Not really working with the slaying."
"Sounds like there's been at least one moment of humour since I left," he noted, then seeing her closed expression, quickly backtracked. "Sorry, that was thoughtless, Willow. Please forgive me."
Will saw the earnest look in his eyes, and her expression softened. "No big, Wes. You weren't to know," she replied, looking at the stars again. Wes watched her carefully for a moment, considering his next words.
"It makes you feel part of something much bigger, doesn't it?" Wes began, critically analysing her expression before continuing. "Whenever I know I'm veering off course, I try to remember that. That we're all part of one big whole, that there is a plan."
Will stopped looking at the stars and regarded him with curiosity. "You really believe that?"
"Absolutely," he answered with conviction. "It's the only thing I really do believe anymore."
Letting that comment pass, Will quietly said, "I'm not sure what I believe. It's just too much to think about. Some days I barely know if I believe in myself."
"Thanks to you, two soulmates are now able to be together after years apart," Wes pointed out, taking her arm firmly to emphasise his point. "You really don't know how impressive what you did is."
She gently removed her arm from his grip, and placed it in her lap. "Not really looking to impress," she replied evenly. "Just to stay in control."
"And why wouldn't you?" Wes asked.
"I'm not quite the girl I was when you left. Kind of tried to end the world last year," she told him plainly.
"You still seem the same to me," he reassured her, trying to imagine an evil Willow and failing miserably.
"Maybe," she said, sounding utterly unconvinced. "So why aren't you in there, doing the sleeping thing?"
"Because maybe I'm not the same anymore either," he responded. "And maybe I wish I was."
A look of understanding passed between them and then they went back to gazing at the sky, hoping for that elusive shooting star.
***************************
Utterly spent, Angel and Buffy collapsed panting onto the bed. Not able to form words for a minute, they both stared into one another's eyes, transfixed by the love they found reflected there. After a while, Angel rolled Buffy against him, encouraging her to rest her head back on his chest.
"That was amazing," she gasped.
"It was," Angel responded, a brilliant smile playing on his lips.
"You know I really love you," she whispered, snuggling against his chest.
"And I love you," he told her, kissing her head. "Now sleep."
Murmuring her assent, she wrapped her arms tighter around him, as if not quite sure this was all real. In response he pulled her even closer, reaffirming his presence. Listening carefully to her breathing, he stroked her hair until he was sure she was sleeping. Then he closed his own eyes, and finally allowed himself to accept that his dearest dream had actually come true. Buffy was his: his to hold, his to love. There would be no more need for separation, no more need for suffering the agony and the heartache that came with their love. It was almost too good to be true; yet somehow it was.
It was then that Angel fully comprehended the slight uneasiness he felt. He was waiting for the fly in the ointment, for the carpet to be taken out from beneath his feet. Since when was the path to true happiness ever so clear of obstacles? Gazing down at the sleeping woman in his arms, he tried to dismiss that thought, submerging himself in his love for her. It was overwhelming, the emotion that flooded through him upon seeing her peaceful face. He was back right again in the day the powers took back, to the moments he had thought that he had it all. Except he did not need to relive it endlessly in his memories as he had secretly in the years since. This time she was really here with him; it was really her arms wrapped around him, her head against his chest. No one could rob her of her memory, or rob them of their happiness. Suddenly he became filled with the need to protect their newfound hope. His mind lingered on the file that Wesley had handed him earlier that day, and he made a mental note to go through it with Wesley later. He had to know everything about the spell they had cast on him and why. He had to know that this was over, that he and Buffy were safe to find their future together. How did he know that the Robed Demon was not part of a bigger plot, that there were not more of his clan just waiting to tear him and Buffy apart?
Buffy began to murmur in her sleep. Angel closed his eyes and listened again. She was having a good dream. He smiled at this, glad to be witness to her nocturnal happiness. It was so long since he had seen her be vulnerable, be open to him. It was as if all the encrusted layers of defence suffocating Buffy's heart were crumbling as she became warmed with love again. He felt the peace seep into his own soul and suddenly sleep was with him. The world could wait until tomorrow.
***************************
From behind the tightly drawn curtains, Buffy could hear the sounds of the daytime world. Smiling dreamily, her eyes still closed, she stretched her arms across the bed, reaching for Angel. Her fingers touched the cotton of the sheets, left cold by Angel's absence. She abruptly opened her eyes and sat up bewildered, pulling the sheet around her body. The clothes that last night they had so carelessly scattered across the floor were now folded neatly on the chair. Grabbing Angel's shirt and her jeans, she quickly dressed and made her way out the room.
The sound of a familiar voice made her stop suddenly. From Willow's room she could hear the voices of Angel and Wesley quietly debating some point. As soundlessly as she could she crept to the door and eavesdropped.
"Are you sure, Wesley?" Angel asked uncertainly.
"Yes, there's absolutely no doubt in my mind. You need to sort this out," Wesley answered firmly. "Sooner than later. You can't risk the consequences of letting this develop any further."
"Looks like I'll have to leave for LA as soon as possible," he said reluctantly, heading for the door. "Buffy's gonna love this." As the words left his mouth, he opened the door and was confronted with a hurt looking Buffy. "Buffy," he gasped, totally taken aback.
"What's the matter, Angel? Hoping to leave without me knowing," she asked, her voice quivering.
"Of course not," he answered quickly, clasping her shoulders. "I just didn't want you to find out like this."
Buffy's face filled with confusion. "Find out what Angel? I don't understand!"
Angel took a deep, unneeded breath and looked at her worried face. "Wes got a file from Wolfram and Hart. It's got information in it that suggests that there was more to the spell than we first thought."
"We've got the demon right here. We can just go talk to it, find out what's the what. You don't need to go to LA yet," she argued, her eyes pleading with him to stay.
Giving her an apologetic glance, Angel answered, "I do. The demon was part of something bigger. I have to take care of it."
"Then I'll come with you," she countered. "We can take care of it together."
Angel shook his head slightly. "I need you to stay here, Buffy. I need you to be safe. You, Will and the others have work to do here."
Cupping her hands around his face, she gave him a piercing look. "And I need you to be safe," she murmured. "I only just got you back."
"I know," he answered, resting his head against hers. "I wish things could be different."
"It's okay, I understand." Her voice was softly deceptive, and Angel sensed she was hiding something. Seeing the doubt in his eyes, Buffy quickly brought her lips to his, entangling him in a consuming kiss. Sure the doubt was gone from his mind, Buffy gently pulled off from the kiss, and led him down the stairs to meet with the others. In her mind though, she had already decided she was going to LA and he would not know a thing about it. There was no way she would be separated from him when it came to something so important. Nobody messed with her boyfriend.
To be continued. Let me know what you think!
