So apparently I really like writing stories after midnight. This was written for the Super Short Poirot Cafe Contest #3 Tears.
Disclaimer: I don't own DCMK
It was always like this. Why was it always like this? Conan laid silently in his bunk, closing his eyes and listening to the sniffles above his bed. Why did he always do this to her…? Really, she deserved so much better.
"Shinichi…" She sniffled again. He wished he could have gotten used to it by now. Every night. Every single night, she would cry like this. By herself. When she thought that no one else was there to listen. She would cry because she thought that Shinichi was somewhere far away, but really he was close enough to be the only one who even noticed her tears.
He couldn't comfort her like this, he wasn't who she was crying for. A muffled sob. A sharp intake of breath. She always tried so hard to be quiet, making his heart ache. She shouldn't have to go through this, she shouldn't be waiting for him. He shouldn't…keep asking her to.
A half year later he finds himself in his normal body once again. Only this time, it's permanent. The first thing he does after taking the antidote is run next door, too excited to wait. Haibara admonishes him but he just laughs it off. He's finally, finally himself again! Just like whenever he gets his body back temporarily, he rushes to Ran's side. The attraction and desire to see the other just as strong for him as he knew it must be for her-how he was always reminded it was for her.
Once he gets to the agency's door, his giddiness comes to an abrupt half. He hesitates, taking a deep breath. He didn't deserve her, he knew that. She was so amazing, caring, loving, strong, funny… beautiful…patient. She had been crying. Almost every time he had run into her as Shinichi since shrinking, she had cried. Almost every night since he had turned into Conan, he had heard her sobs. He couldn't keep making her cry like this.
He didn't deserve to knock on the door, but he did anyway.
When the door opens, he sees Ran. She's so beautiful, eyes wide, glistening. He was her height now. She lets go of the handle. "S-Shinichi…?"
He smiles, happiness radiating off him like a child who had come home to their favorite stuffed animal. Like a child who had just experienced their first birthday party. Like a child…who was finally not a child any longer. "I'm back, Ran."
A startled breath escapes her, and she takes two quick steps forward. Attacking him with a hug, she puts her arms to his chest, and he finds himself wrapping his own around her.
"It took you long enough, I've been waiting, idiot…" She sniffs into his shirt. He's made her cry again. She lets out a heavy breath.
His hand moves from the crevice of her back to rest on the top of her head. "I know." He really did.
She giggles, looking up at him. Her cheeks are stained and his shirt is damp, but she had a large and incredibly cute grin on too. She was happy. He hugged her tighter.
They're happy now. He sees her every day at school, and they go on dates and embarrass each other constantly. A few weeks in, he starts to notice a change. She still smiles, hugs, kisses, and texts him—but there's something different. And for a while, he can't place what.
A month later, something's especially off with her. She gets mad at him over something really small, and he immediately apologizes. She says she's sorry, that she didn't mean it either. They don't talk for a few days after.
They go to an amusement park, and seem to get back into things. They have a good time, joke around, and kiss. It's as he's walking her home that he notices the red around her eyes. The red that she had always been hiding back when he hadn't been there. Back when Shinichi was missing. He doesn't comment on it, not now. It's shocking and he goes to bed thinking about what he could have done to make her cry this time. He was back, wasn't he?
Over the next few weeks, she continues to laugh and smile brightly. But there's still the pink tint around her eyes. She pretends it's not there. He pretends not to notice. It's easier that way, for now.
It was an accident. When he found out the reason for her tears. He had been going home from the Professor's house, it was late and he found himself in front of his and Ran's old room. Back from when he was Conan. Old habits died hard, he thought, about to head back when he heard a sniff. He froze.
Another sniff. Another. Another, and another. He turned to the door, heart wrenching at the sound. She was wailing. No longer was there another person in her room that she had to quiet her tears for. A sob, and muttering, loud muttering. He put a hand on the door, about to open it, to comfort her. To do something, anything, to make her smile again-when he hears her speak.
"W-Where…did you…g-go, C-Conan-kun…?" It comes out choked, broken.
And once again...He couldn't comfort her. He wasn't the one she was crying for.
Where had he...gone wrong?
I'm sorry.
