Disclaimer: I only wish I owned the HM franchise. If I die, there would be much more Moliver and Liley. And it would still be running. Oh, and sorry if the italics are a bit much. And I'll be updating Untied Knots soon.

"Fuck me. Fuck me Oliver, fuck me now!" shouted a 16-year-old Miley Stewart, in only a thin strip of cloth that could barely pass for a thong and a lacy pink bra to match. "Come on Oliver," she purred seductively, in pure Miley fashion, "You know you want to..."

Damn, he thought, she's even sexier than I imagined. She's like a siren, he added, An incredibly irresistible siren. But instead of beckoning me to my death, she's beckoning me to have sex with her. But hey, no one can resist a siren's call.

He groaned, "You are so sexy when you say my name like that."

"Come here Oliver, I know you want me, so come. Come to me. You want me to make you lose all control, and I know I want to do that to you, and the bulge in your pants definitely wants me to! No one can resist me. You know that, don't you, Oliver?"

He moaned at the thought of all the amazing things she could do to him if he let her dominate him. But really, he didn't have a choice. She knew almost as well as he did that he could never say no to Miley Stewart. She wore the pants, and damn they looked good on her. "Yes."

"So, come here, so I can personally relieve you of your...ailment," she licked her lips as she eyed his ever expanding, ever hardening boner. "Please."

She was quick to realize he was far too caught up in her spell to move. She swayed her hips and played with the hem of her panties tauntingly as she walked toward him, and to poor Oliver it felt like years rather than seconds, and miles rather than feet. She got down on her knees in an extremely sexual position, fully exposing her large, well-developed breasts to him, putting her exposed ass in plain sight, and dragged her nail slowly and oh-so-lightly against the incredible strain in his pants, and he swore right then he was about to explode. She squeezed her breasts together and gave him a suggestive look that told him this would be the most fun he had in a very long, long time. Then, slowly, quite teasingly, she unzipped his jeans...

Oliver awoke to find he had another dream about Miley. He needed to stop this. It was becoming a regular occurrence now. He checked under his covers. "Aww man!" he complained, "This is just like when I was twelve, except now I can't blame my 'Miley dreams' on puberty!"

Of course, when he had his first crush, who was it? Miley. When he went through puberty, who did he think about? Miley. Who was his biggest celebrity crush? Hannah Montana, who looked just like Miley, and he soon discovered it was Miley under a blonde wig and sparkly clothes. And when he, um, masturbated for the first time, although some people might find it a little disturbing, what was on his mind? A steam-covered Miley walking out of the sauna, wearing a bikini two sizes too small, her newly-developed body straining against the tight confines of her two-piece. Although some people might find this all a bit disturbing or pathetic, he accepted it. After all, not everyone had a best friend nearly as hot as Miley, and he did have about ten whole years to entertain the idea that maybe, this was the girl he was meant to be with. And maybe, what he felt for the girl that could make him bang his head into a locker while trying to look smooth, the girl who made him go gaga in anything that went past her neckline, was more than a crush. At this point, he was beyond smitten. Oliver Oscar Oken was in love , maybe even loved, his best friend, Miley Ray Stewart. And for a boy like Oliver, love was a very, very strong word.

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"He loves me, he loves me not," Miley recited upset as she plucked another two petals off of the flower. "He doesn't like me, he won't ever like me, he won't ever feel the same way!" she sulked as she angrily tore off three more petals off of the mostly bald and slightly wilted daisy. "Oliver Oken will never fall in love with me!" She tore off all the petals, leaving a mess of little white pieces of Miley's broken heart all over the living room floor.

She climbed upstairs and flopped on her bed. "Why can't he at least let me down easy or something? I've done everything I can to get him to like me! I flirt every chance I get, I bring out my Hannah makeup just for him, I steal clothes from the Hannah closet to impress him, I've started wearing more revealing shirts and shorter shorts, I fix myself up on days when I don't even have the energy to breathe, what more can I do?! Most of the other boys seem to like it. I see how they look at me when I turn the other way, so why doesn't he even pretend to like it?! Can't that ignorant, oblivious donut of a boy see that I love him?"

Miley suddenly remembered, she and Lilly were going shopping that afternoon she could buy some better clothes then! She could dip a little into her Hannah money too, after all, there must have been over a million in there! Surely she could spare enough for one outfit!

"Miles, I can't believe you bought all this stuff. And it's so skimpy! What are you, a hooker or something?"

Miley giggled, "Calm down Lil, it was two shirts, two skirts, a pair of short shorts, some lingerie with matching thongs, and a bikini. And most of them weren't even that expensive! Besides, I haven't gone on a shopping spree for months!"

Lilly was convinced. "Touché, Miley. But there's just one thing I can't figure out. Why are you so obsessed with this whole 'turn Oliver into a complete perv over you' thing?"

Miley rolled her eyes at Lilly's "hidden" signal that it wasn't her best idea. "That's not what I'm doing and you know it!"

Lilly couldn't believe how dense and oblivious her best friend could be sometimes. "Miles, he already adores you, why can't you see how much he wants you?"

"Because he doesn't! He doesn't want some dork who walks around dying for him to notice her, but I know he wants a girl who has plenty of stuff and ain't afraid to flaunt it! And trust me, if these babies," she held up the shorts and one of the shirts, "don't show him what he's missing, nothing will!"

They next day, Miley decided to step up her game. She was meeting Lilly and Oliver at the beach, so she slipped on her new bikini and grabbed a towel as she left for their usual meeting spot, at the beach just a little bit down from Rico's place.

Her swimming attire was even skimpier than the lingerie she bought, if that was even physically possible. The top half was so small, her boobs practically spilled right out, and most girls had headbands that could cover more than the bottom half of that two-piece could.

"Hey Lilly, hey Oliver, what's up?" Miley asked casually, trying not to sound like she was trying to do anything mischievous. "Hey Miley! Nothing, how about you?"

Oliver wasn't paying attention to anything the girls were saying. He was mesmerized by the endless amount of soft tan skin usually hidden underneath Miley's clothes. His eyes then traveled up a pair of shapely legs that must have been miles long, and kept scanning until he found himself staring at a gorgeous, thinly concealed pair of breasts, a pair that must have belonged to a supermodel. But no, when he looked up, this beautiful work of art was the body of none other than one Miley Stewart. Damn, she was even sexier now than in his dreams, something he had no idea was humanly possible. And at this moment, if you asked Oliver what he thought of Megan Fox, he would say she was average. Adriana Lima was average if she was being compared to Miley. No one could ever, as far as Oliver was concerned, be as beautiful as his best friend. Look out Mandy Moore, your pedestal has been stolen, and so has Oliver's heart.