Summary: Parabatai are meant to be a choice, a bond like no other, Alexander Lightwood didn't chose Johnathan Morgenstern to be his Parabatai, nor did Johnathan pick him but they were bound and admist a War upon both Clave and Downworlders each other was all they had and they would do anything to keep the other safe, to make sure the other made it out in the other side of the War but Alexander had always known that there was no place for him in Valentine's world he just didn't know how to tell Johnathan.

The Lightwoods never defected, Jace's parents didn't die, Jace knows he's a Herondale and is with the Clave, Jocelyn joined the Clave to protect Clary, they grew up together.


Alec could never forget the day his mother ran away from the cause, from the Circle. He had only been four and he remembered waking in the dead of night, he'd laid still for what seemed like hours, because he'd be punished if he moved and if he was punished his Parabatai would be as well. After a while Alec had dared to sneak his way to his door and peak through his cracked door.

He had seen his mother and Miss Jocelyn tiptoeing through the hall, a bag in each of their hands, growing bellies outlined in the dim glow from their witch lights.

Alec had followed them as they snuck through their headquarters and he wondered what their mission might be.

They had paused just before they exited the building.

"Are you sure about leaving Alexander?" Miss Jocelyn had asked his mother, "We can still go back for him."

"No." His mother's voice was firm and final, Alec had never heard her speak to anyone but him that way, "He has already been made Parabatai to Johnathan, there is nothing left to do for him now, he'll become just as bad as the rest."

His mother pressed a hand to her belly, where his sister rested, "There is still a chance for this child and the one you carry, nothing can be done for the boys."

Alec watched them and felt tears spill from his eyes, Nephilim weren't meant to cry, his father would punish him if he found out.

A light switched on and Alec stiffened and heard the sharp intake of breath from his mother and Miss Jocelyn.

With resignation and fear Alec stepped into the light, drawing focus to himself as Mr. Morgenstern stepped into the light, casting Alec into shadow.

"Alexander." Mr. Morgenstern said coldly as he stared down at Alec, folding his arms over his chest, "What are you doing out of bed?"

Alec swallowed and shook with fear and fortitude as he gazed up at the man.

"Well?" Mr. Morgenstern demanded, impatiently.

"I... I had a nightmare." Alec lied.

"Is that why you cry?" Mr. Morgenstern sneered down at Alec.

Alec sniffled and scrubbed his arm over his cheeks, attempting to removed the evidence.

Mr. Morgenstern growled lowly and Alec flinched hard as the man reached and wrapped an iron grip around his upper arm before dragging him back down the hall, Alec could feel his arm begin to ache already and felt tears welled up in his eyes, but he held them back.

As they reached the end of the hall Alec took a risk and glanced back at where his mother and Miss Jocelyn had been hiding and watched their backs disappear out the door.

Neither looked back and Alec felt the quiet click of the door sounded much too loud and damning.

Alec never managed not to flinch at the soft click of a shutting door after that day, just as he never forgot the pain of the ten lashes for being out of bed, the five for crying, and the five for admitting weakness that he recieved as punishment from Mr. Morgenstern and the cut in his meals from his own father for bothering Mr. Morgenstern.


Alec dropped himself into a crouch next to his Parabatai as they paused, watching Inquisitor Imogen Herondale's son walk into the Jade Wolf.

"I can't believe they are trying to domesticate these dogs." Johnathan sneered, "Pathetic."

Alec rolled his eyes, Johnathan had always been the more vocal of the two, more for the cause than Alec ever would be, but Alec wondered some days who his Parabatai might have been if their mothers had stayed to raise them or tried to take them with them.

Of course Alec also knew that Valentine would have pursued them more desparately had the two women tried to take them instead he had felt the loss of his daughter was no big deal when he still had his son.

Usually Johnathan respected that Alec didn't particularly like hearing insults to Downworlders or the Clave and their followers because it made them memorable but Valentine had recently sent Johnathan to Edom as punishment and Alec had been forced to remain behind, feeling his Parabatai's pain and drawing out as much as he could without being obvious, but Johnathan hadn't returned to him the same person as had left, Alec was foolish to think that he would return unchanged and unbroken.

Johnathan's temper was shortened with everybody, even Alec, but their bond anchored him just enough that the other had yet to threaten or harm him yet as he had the others that sparked his temper.

"You know the Clave..." Alec began, "It is full of weak-willed and optimistic fools, the Herondales the biggest among them."

Johnathan snorted out a laugh and Alec counted the sound as a win.

"Yeah." Johnathan grinned, "You know their newest spawn hasn't even killed a demon yet."

Alec found himself returning the grin, "Pathetic."

Alec and Johnathan had both killed their first Demon long ago, right after their mothers had fled. They had been in the process of moving base because they couldn't remain if they were compromised and as they broke the warding a couple Demons had managed to sneak in ti the training room where Alec was being forced to train through the pain of his punishment for being out of bed with Johnathan.

They had fallen into step together quickly and dispatched the Demons that had managed to reach them quickly, despite their age. Robert had found them and due to Alec's previous injuries and the Demon Venom that he'd gotten he'd almost died, he barely remembered the trip to their new base and after that, he only remembered that Johnathan had been the only constant and the promise they had made to each other that they would always be there for each other, no matter what, and the realization that no one else would care if either of them died but one another.

"What do you think they are doing in there?" Johnathan asked.

Alec shrugged and felt his hip buzz. He pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at it.

"What is it?" Johnathan asked.

"We're being reassigned." Alec said, wrinkling his nose at their new assignment.

"Where?" Johnathan asked.

"Pandemonium." Alec sighed.

Asking them to go to Pandemonium was just asking for an incident, Johnathan hadn't been known for restraint before his sojourn in Edom and he had less now, but orders were orders.

"Wonderful, you can practice your flirting." Johnathan grinned wickedly at Alec.

"No!" Alec shouted with burning cheeks, "We could get caught, there might be others around and we're supposed to be back up."

"Alec, you're never going to get a boyfriend with that attitude." Johnathan growled.

"I'm not looking for one, you know what our fathers would do if they found out." Alec reminded him as they began to walk towards Pandemonium.

Johnathan looked away, he knew what would happen, they had seen it happen, the man who had been caught in bed with another man, a mundane, had been injected with Vampire blood courtesy of Valentine, they could only guess at what he would do to Alec if he was caught with another man. The other man had died as the blood tore about his system and he had ended up begging for death and had been granted it by Alec.

Alec had laid the man gently on the ground and the look in his eyes as he met Johnathan's eyes, fear and sorrow, the look of a man that knew death would come soon and not be quick, it was a look that Johnathan never wanted to see in his Parabatai's eyes ever again.

Alec had admitted to Johnathan years before then that he didn't like girls like he should, that he found his gaze drawn to men and that he was afraid that he would get caught doing it, Johnathan had vowed that he'd protect him, even from his father if necessary.

And now, now Johnathan convinced Alec to practice his flirting, when they knew other Circle members wouldn't be around, using him to gather information from male Seelies, Werewolves, and Vampires, it was easy enough to lead them into giving up information, but Alec steered clear of Warlocks, most of them were old enough to recognize the Circle Rune on his shoulder blade.

"Here's hoping there won't be others then." Johnathan grinned at Alec.

"You are a horrible Parabatai, you're supposed to watch my back, not stab it." Alec deadpanned as they paused outside Pandemonium.

"Where's the fun in that?" Johnathan grinned as he walked backward to the club's door.

"John... Johnathan." Alec hissed.

Johnathan only grinned and lifted his thumbs up, disappearing inside.

Alec glanced around nervously before he headed to the door.

Inside was dark but the lights flashed over him and Alec knew that Johnathan had only just entered and yet he had lost him already. Alec's gaze swept over the room, searching out the exits and the crowd, he could see seven Clave Nephilim just from where he stood in varying positions of lust, and Alec wondered how the Clave could justify their presence here in this den of Downworlder activity.

"Hello." A husky voice spoke from behind him, hands sneaking over his hips and Alec flinched as the arms jerked him back into a hard body, a male body.

"Um..." Alec picked at the arms around him, the body behind him forcing his body to sway as they grinded into him, "Would you let me go?"

"Come on, Sweetheart, you don't come into a club not looking for a bit of fun." The man said.

"Well, I'm not." Alec said coldly, preparing himself for a fight.

"I think he'd like you to let go." A different voice spoke up from next to Alec.

Alec's eyes darted over and met beautiful brown and Alec felt his breath catch and his mind blank because he couldn't think or find any words to respond to the man.

"Come on, I saw him first." The man behind Alec whined and dragged him closer.

"Seriously, let me go." Alec growled and squeezed the man's forearms.

"Ouch!" The man cried and released Alec, "What the hell, man?"

Alec turned and raised an eyebrow, "I tried to be nice, you're lucky my friend didn't see what you were doing, the last person who didn't listen can't walk anymore."

In reality the man in question wasn't alive anymore but most people, even Clave Nephilim tended to frown on what they would see as murder but Johnathan had seen as defending his Parabatai.

"Not worth it man." The other said and stumbled off on to the dance floor.

Alec turned to his would be rescuer and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Umm... thank you, I guess... I mean not everyone would have even tried to help."

The man raised an eyebrow, "That sounds like the voice of experience."

"Yeah, a bit, my friend and I have been to a few shady establishments." Alec smiled a little embarrassed.

"Well, I try not to allow shady happenings." The man smiled back.

Alec laughed, "What do you like own Pandemonium?"

"Yes." The man replied.

Alec's laughter stopped abruptly, "Wait, but that means... you're Magnus Bane?"

Magnus smiled and nodded, "I am, usually I don't have to introduce myself."

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, I have to go!" Alec began to panic.

"Woah, calm down." Magnus said as Alec started to breath heavily.

"I don't... I don't feel so good." Alec whispered.

"Here, sit down, uh, and take some deep breaths, there's nothing to be afraid of." Magnus coached somewhat calmly.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Alec said as his hand flew to his mouth.

Magnus turned and came back with a small trash can, Alec hadn't seen one nearby so the man must have conjured it, but Alec took it and wrapped it in his arms tightly as he bent his head over it and vomited into it.

"I'll get you some water and find some crackers." Magnus said and began to make his way through the crowd.

Alec kept his head over the trash can for several minutes before he saw Johnathan sit next to him out of the corner of his eyes.

"Drunk already? We've been here for like twenty minutes." Johnathan said.

Alec looked at his Parabatai, "Did you find anything?"

"Some Clavies, but mostly Downworlders, there are three of ours doing a deal so we might need a distraction for them, they are entirely obvious." Johnathan whispered to him, "What did you find?"

"Oh, hello." Magnus said as he offered Alec the water in his hand and set a plate of cut banana with a small bowl of applesauce in the center of the plate, "They didn't have crackers at the bar."

"But they had Bananas and Applesauce." Johnathan asked skeptically.

"Thank you," Alec said as he sipped the water, "This is my friend..." Alec's eyes widened as he realized he couldn't use their real names, "Nate."

Johnathan raised an eyebrow as he offered a hand to Magnus, "Nice to meet you...?"

"Magnus Bane." Magnus took Johnathan's hand and Alec was extremely proud that Johnathan actually shook the Warlock's hand without flinching or drawing his hand back, but Johnathan's smile turned fake.

"We should go, before we get caught out." Johnathan turned to Alec.

"Oh, right." Alec nodded.

"Well, I'm sorry to see you go." Magnus smiled and then his attention was drawn to a commotion, one caused by their people and the Clavies, "You should go, this is likely to get ugly."

Alec opened his mouth but was stopped by Johnathan who dragged him out.

"What are you doing? Those are our people!" Alec cried.

"Look, Bane seems to like you, we can use that, more than we need to back those idiots up, imagine if we could accurately report on what Bane is doing when and where." Johnathan said as he dragged Alec away from the building.

"He's a Warlock, and even if he wasn't he's a man!" Alec shouted, "I could get killed for even thinking about him."

Johnathan frowned as he stopped to look at Alec, "What's wrong, Alec?"

"Nothing!" Alec shouted.

"Alec." Johnathan said as he stared at Alec.

"He's cute." Alec whispered to the ground, "I saw him and I wanted, I wanted to have a moment where I wasn't afraid to be caught and I wanted it to be with him."

Johnathan watched Alec turn away from him.

"But he's Magnus Bane, not just any Downworlder but a Warlock, and I can't, I can't." Alec murmured, "I can't because he's our enemy and even if he wasn't I wouldn't be allowed."

"Alec." Johnathan said, reaching out to hold Alec who sobbed in his arms quietly, shoulders shaking, "I'm not telling you that you should actually date him, just pretend, if you don't want to you don't have to, but think about how happy our fathers would be for the information, they might actually be proud of us for a bit."

"And what would we tell them?" Alec asked.

"That you accidently became friends while we were patrolling Pandemonium and that you were asked to hang out." Johnathan told him, "And I can cover for you if he asks for actual dates."

Alec pulled away slightly and nodded, "Okay, okay, if he asks me I will and we can, we can... we can..."

"Spy on him for the cause." Johnathan provided.

Alec nodded.

"Alright then, let's go, we'll come back in a few days to see what his response to you is." Johnathan suggested, "And maybe get you calmed down a bit before you see him again."

Alec nodded, "Yeah, okay."


Author's note: I AU'd again, oops.